BAMAKO by Aribert Raphael (smart books to read txt) 📖

he about her, as far as she knew, and here he was declaring his love for her. What should her reaction be?
It was Talya’s turn to be silent, to be staring at him. He was smiling. He knew he had given her a jolt. His smirk was one of self-satisfaction. She wondered what he wanted her to say. Never mind that, she had to say something.
“Hassan, I don’t really know what to say.” Gees, what a reply! How inane can you be? Talya smiled back. She was embarrassed. Being at a loss for words was not customary for her. She was evading the question. She didn’t want to answer. Talya wasn’t ready to respond to a declaration of love from this man.
“I’ve spent the day planning for an early departure, you’re right. But don’t worry I’m not going home.” She lowered her eyes. “I’ve decided to go to Dakar. I’ve phoned my office in Vancouver and they think it’s a good idea for me to go to Senegal to try talking to Monsieur Hjamal, and perhaps start some form of negotiations with him. I’ll leave when I can be assured the Kankoon application has been introduced properly, and not before.” She drank a little of her juice under Hassan’s quizzical gaze. “I also need to go back and see Monsieur Fade to apologize for my conduct this morning. I know he’s your friend, but apart from that, I mustn’t let my feelings get the better of me.” There was a pause then; a moment to ponder what had passed between them.
“Talya, I want to talk to you privately. I don’t want to talk about business anymore, not today—not ever again—until we have settled a few personal matters. Come with me, I’ll take you to have a meal somewhere quiet, would you mind?”
Talya looked at him, taken aback by his request. I couldn’t get away, could I? She needed to deal with this. They left the hotel quietly.
As they reached the car, Talya said, “Please, forgive me, but I’m not good at expressing my feelings and I must warn you, I’ll try to evade the subject again and again.”
“Will you just do what you’re told, for once? Please, get in the car and let’s go to the restaurant. In the meantime don’t say anything.” Hassan was determined to keep her mouth shut, for a while anyway.
The restaurant was a cosy little place, hidden from the main road by tall hedges and trees. As they came in, Talya was agreeably surprised by the peacefulness of the surroundings. There were old woodcarvings leaning against the wall around the foyer, large slabs of slate tiled the floor, the light was dim and the air comfortably cool. They were ushered to a table in a corner, far from the main dining room, such as Talya heard Hassan request when they arrived.
They hardly looked at the menu. They looked at each other. The waiter came to the table and asked if they wanted to taste some of the Chef’s specialties. Hassan told him they wanted a simple meal and a salad. In Mali, as almost everywhere in Africa, when you ask for a ‘simple meal’ it usually consists of rice simmered in a spicy sauce made with meat or fish and vegetables.
That choice sounded perfect. It was all Talya needed. She hadn’t eaten much throughout the day and she really couldn’t be bothered with anything complicated; and certainly not under these circumstances. The waiter brought their drinks to the table and Hassan prompted him to disappear so they would no longer be disturbed.
He fiddled with the cutlery. He folded and unfolded the napkin, apparently deciding how to start or perhaps searching for the right words to say. “Talya, I can’t believe what I’m about to tell you nor will I believe it for a long while to come. My whole world has been revolving around you since we’ve met. I can’t get you out of my mind.” The napkin was now folded into a tiny square. “This is very unusual for me and this afternoon I decided enough was enough. I could no longer be a slave of my thoughts. I have to tell you about the upheaval that I’m experiencing.” The fork changed place with the knife and then the spoon was relegated to the top of the plate. Talya looked at the items being moved about the table, trying to focus on what Hassan was saying—it was hard. “I need to say these things and tell you face to face how much I’ve been disturbed by your presence. When I say it’s ‘love’ I feel for you, I don’t know for a fact that it is. I only know I cannot let you leave without having said these words to you and perhaps act upon them.”
“Act upon them?” He had her full attention now. “What do you mean—act upon them?” Talya blurted. She was astonished. Of course, I know very well what he meant!
“What I mean, Talya, is…” Their meal arrived. Talya could have kicked the waiter to the third planet beyond the moon. “What I mean is,” Hassan continued, “I have to demonstrate to you and to myself that my emotions are real. Or maybe this is just a passing fancy, which will only be extinguished if I made love to you!”
Good Grief! Making love to me!? Oh no, we are not going there … not anytime soon.
“Hassan, please, stop right there. You’re going much too fast for me. In the domain of love and loving someone, I haven’t been very successful. The last time I loved someone it ended up in a divorce. I really cannot see myself making love to you, or anyone for that matter, for the mere reason that my would-be partner needs to test his emotions or feelings toward me.” Talya was getting a little more than agitated—try on offended for size.
“Talya, don’t demean what I’ve said. It won’t work. I’ve told you, I’m falling in love with you, but I’m only honest with you and with myself. You’ve said you’re ready to leave. So I have to put it to you as plainly as I know how. Will you love me in return?”
Talya sat there, playing with the food on her plate. She wasn’t looking at him. She couldn’t. She was trapped. She realized that she needed to uncork that bottle of emotions she had been carrying for far too long. She, too, felt something for Hassan, and she had a hard time denying it, even to herself. Was she also falling for a man she didn’t know a week ago? An African man; as impossible as she thought it could be, she was attracted to him. What do I do now?
African people are known for their momentary passion. When their excitement abates, they leave for other realms, their lover dealing with the heartbreak. Talya didn’t want that to happen to her. She needed to guard herself against Hassan’s obvious infatuation.
“I have a confession to make, Hassan. I’ve never loved a black man before. I’m not saying I love you,” she muttered, almost inaudibly. “I’m only saying it all seems strange to me. I don’t know how to handle this. It’s all very awkward, very embarrassing even…. You haven’t thought this matter through, have you?” That was obvious.
“No, I haven’t. I feel strongly about you. I needed to tell you, that’s all.”
They continued eating in silence. For the next few minutes, the quietness was soothing. It was a stifling blanket thrown over the kindled fire in their hearts. Talya finished her meal and looked for the waiter to bring her a coffee; I am not going to sleep tonight anyway, and a glass of water. Hassan asked for the traditional tea.
Tea and coffee arrived unnoticed. They were peering into their souls. They needed to reach for the shore away from these stormy waters.
Then slowly amid the stillness that seemed to surround them, the barriers began to crumble. For a fleeting moment only—an instant really—nothing appeared to be more important than for Hassan and Talya to be together. I am not ready for any of this; I don’t think I would ever be.
They remained silent for a few minutes until, unexpectedly, Hassan stretched his hand across the table and touched hers. He smiled gently—a peaceful, soft smile. Talya could only return the smile leaving her hand where it was. Again, for a fraction of a second, nothing seemed important except what they felt.
As the evening drew rapidly to an end, they left the restaurant chatting about nothing in particular while Hassan kept evading the subject of ‘us’, for which Talya was glad. He drove to the front of the hotel doors, apparently wanting to drop her off. Yet, Talya was the one who didn’t want the evening to end.
“Wouldn’t you like to come in for a night-cap?”
“But I thought—”
“Nothing doing, Hassan, you don’t just leave me like this, after everything you’ve said tonight. We need to talk about this.”
“All right then, but I can’t stay for long.”
“What? Have you got a wife waiting for you at home?”
He laughed. “No, I don’t, I’ve never been married.”
Talya got out and he went to park the car while she went to the reception desk and checked with Monsieur Gerald for messages. There was none.
While she was waiting for Hassan in the lobby, Talya made a beeline to the ladies’ room. When she came out, she saw Hassan head for the boys’ room—I guess ‘relief’ had been in order.
They went to the lounge and ordered another coffee for Talya and another tea for Hassan from the ever so keen waiter—he had been standing by the table as they sat down.
As difficult as it were at the moment, Talya needed to put on the brakes. This was not a passing train that she was watching from a distance, it was running away and she was on it trying to hold on for dear life. She felt she shouldn’t have invited him in and yet…
She looked at Hassan sitting opposite her. He seemed pensive and expectant. She decided not only to apply the brakes, but also to bring his idea of a relationship between them to a full stop.
“Hassan, have you considered the consequences of us becoming involved?” His eyes went from her face to the floor. She pressed on, “Because, as you can appreciate, I can’t risk having a relationship with you in this city when all eyes are upon me to see how I handle myself while your people decide if respect and trust could eventually be given to me.” The coffee and tea arrived in time for Talya to take a breather. Hassan stirred his tea and poured a little into the cup without a word.
She went on, “You must also realize that you’re putting yourself in virtually the same position. You can’t be my attorney or legal advisor and be romantically involved with me as your client.”
“I know what you’re saying, Talya, believe me. But I can’t help what I feel, I need you now, besides, I want you now, not tomorrow, not next week, maybe never again.”