Adventure by Jack London (best motivational books of all time .txt) đ
- Author: Jack London
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âIt is not so one-sided as you seem to think it is,â he began. âI was doing very nicely on Berande before you came. At least I was not suffering indignities, such as being accused of cowardly conduct, as you have just accused me. Rememberâplease remember, I did not invite you to Berande. Nor did I invite you to stay on at Berande. It was by staying that you brought about thisâto youâ unpleasant situation. By staying you made yourself a temptation, and now you would blame me for it. I did not want you to stay. I wasnât in love with you then. I wanted you to go to Sydney; to go back to Hawaii. But you insisted on staying. You virtuallyââ
He paused for a softer word than the one that had risen to his lips, and she took it away from him.
âForced myself on youâthatâs what you meant to say,â she cried, the flags of battle painting her cheeks. âGo ahead. Donât mind my feelings.â
âAll right; I wonât,â he said decisively, realizing that the discussion was in danger of becoming a vituperative, schoolboy argument. âYou have insisted on being considered as a man. Consistency would demand that you talk like a man, and like a man listen to man-talk. And listen you shall. It is not your fault that this unpleasantness has arisen. I do not blame you for anything; remember that. And for the same reason you should not blame me for anything.â
He noticed her bosom heaving as she sat with clenched hands, and it was all he could do to conquer the desire to flash his arms out and around her instead of going on with his coolly planned campaign. As it was, he nearly told her that she was a most adorable boy. But he checked all such wayward fancies, and held himself rigidly down to his disquisition.
âYou canât help being yourself. You canât help being a very desirable creature so far as I am concerned. You have made me want you. You didnât intend to; you didnât try to. You were so made, that is all. And I was so made that I was ripe to want you. But I canât help being myself. I canât by an effort of will cease from wanting you, any more than you by an effort of will can make yourself undesirable to me.â
âOh, this desire! this want! want! want!â she broke in rebelliously. âI am not quite a fool. I understand some things. And the whole thing is so foolish and absurdâand uncomfortable. I wish I could get away from it. I really think it would be a good idea for me to marry Noa Noah, or Adamu Adam, or Lalaperu there, or any black boy. Then I could give him orders, and keep him penned away from me; and men like you would leave me alone, and not talk marriage and âI want, I want.ââ
Sheldon laughed in spite of himself, and far from any genuine impulse to laugh.
âYou are positively soulless,â he said savagely.
âBecause Iâve a soul that doesnât yearn for a man for master?â she took up the gage. âVery well, then. I am soulless, and what are you going to do about it?â
âI am going to ask you why you look like a woman? Why have you the form of a woman? the lips of a woman? the wonderful hair of a woman? And I am going to answer: because you are a womanâthough the woman in you is asleepâand that some day the woman will wake up.â
âHeaven forbid!â she cried, in such sudden and genuine dismay as to make him laugh, and to bring a smile to her own lips against herself.
âIâve got some more to say to you,â Sheldon pursued. âI did try to protect you from every other man in the Solomons, and from yourself as well. As for me, I didnât dream that danger lay in that quarter. So I failed to protect you from myself. I failed to protect you at all. You went your own wilful way, just as though I didnât existâwrecking schooners, recruiting on Malaita, and sailing schooners; one lone, unprotected girl in the company of some of the worst scoundrels in the Solomons. Fowler! and Brahms! and Curtis! And such is the perverseness of human natureâI am frank, you seeâI love you for that too. I love you for all of you, just as you are.â
She made a moue of distaste and raised a hand protestingly.
âDonât,â he said. âYou have no right to recoil from the mention of my love for you. Remember this is a man-talk. From the point of view of the talk, you are a man. The woman in you is only incidental, accidental, and irrelevant. Youâve got to listen to the bald statement of fact, strange though it is, that I love you.â
âAnd now I wonât bother you any more about love. Weâll go on the same as before. You are better off and safer on Berande, in spite of the fact that I love you, than anywhere else in the Solomons. But I want you, as a final item of man-talk, to remember, from time to time, that I love you, and that it will be the dearest day of my life when you consent to marry me. I want you to think of it sometimes. You canât help but think of it sometimes. And now we wonât talk about it any more. As between men, thereâs my hand.â
He held out his hand. She hesitated, then gripped it heartily, and smiled through her tears.
âI wishââ she faltered, âI wish, instead of that black Mary, youâd given me somebody to swear for me.â
And with this enigmatic utterance she turned away.
Sheldon did not mention the subject again, nor did his conduct change from what it had always been. There was nothing of the pining lover, nor of the lover at all, in his demeanour. Nor was there any awkwardness between them. They were as frank and friendly in their relations as ever. He had wondered if his belligerent love declaration might have aroused some womanly self-consciousness in Joan, but he looked in vain for any sign of it. She appeared as unchanged as he; and while he knew that he hid his real feelings, he was firm in his belief that she hid nothing. And yet the germ he had implanted must be at work; he was confident of that, though he was without confidence as to the result. There was no forecasting this strange girlâs processes. She might awaken, it was true; and on the other hand, and with equal chance, he might be the wrong man for her, and his declaration of love might only more firmly set her in her views on single blessedness.
While he devoted more and more of his time to the plantation itself, she took over the house and its multitudinous affairs; and she took hold firmly, in sailor fashion, revolutionizing the system and discipline. The labour situation on Berande was improving. The Martha had carried away fifty of the blacks whose time was up, and they had been among the worst on the plantationâfive-year men recruited by Billy Be-blowed, men who had gone through the old days of terrorism when the original owners of Berande had been driven away. The new recruits, being broken in under the new regime, gave better promise. Joan had joined with Sheldon from the start in the programme that they must be gripped with the strong hand, and at the same time be treated with absolute justice, if they were to escape being contaminated by the older boys that still remained.
âI think it would be a good idea to put all the gangs at work close to the house this afternoon,â she announced one day at breakfast. âIâve cleaned up the house, and you ought to clean up the barracks. There is too much stealing going on.â
âA good idea,â Sheldon agreed. âTheir boxes should be searched. Iâve just missed a couple of shirts, and my best toothbrush is gone.â
âAnd two boxes of my cartridges,â she added, âto say nothing of handkerchiefs, towels, sheets, and my best pair of slippers. But what they want with your toothbrush is more than I can imagine. Theyâll be stealing the billiard balls next.â
âOne did disappear a few weeks before you came,â Sheldon laughed. âWeâll search the boxes this afternoon.â
And a busy afternoon it was. Joan and Sheldon, both armed, went through the barracks, house by house, the boss-boys assisting, and half a dozen messengers, in relay, shouting along the line the names of the boys wanted. Each boy brought the key to his particular box, and was permitted to look on while the contents were overhauled by the boss-boys.
A wealth of loot was recovered. There were fully a dozen cane-knivesâbig hacking weapons with razor-edges, capable of decapitating a man at a stroke. Towels, sheets, shirts, and slippers, along with toothbrushes, wisp-brooms, soap, the missing billiard ball, and all the lost and forgotten trifles of many months, came to light. But most astonishing was the quantity of ammunition-cartridges for Lee-Metfords, for Winchesters and Marlins, for revolvers from thirty-two calibre to forty-five, shot-gun cartridges, Joanâs two boxes of thirty-eight, cartridges of prodigious bore for the ancient Sniders of Malaita, flasks of black powder, sticks of dynamite, yards of fuse, and boxes of detonators. But the great find was in the house occupied by Gogoomy and five Port Adams recruits. The fact that the boxes yielded nothing excited Sheldonâs suspicions, and he gave orders to dig up the earthen floor. Wrapped in matting, well oiled, free from rust, and brand new, two Winchesters were first unearthed. Sheldon did not recognize them. They had not come from Berande; neither had the forty flasks of black powder found under the corner-post of the house; and while he could not be sure, he could remember no loss of eight boxes of detonators. A big Coltâs revolver he recognized as Hughie Drummondâs; while Joan identified a thirty-two Ivor and Johnson as a loss reported by Matapuu the first week he landed at Berande. The absence of any cartridges made Sheldon persist in the digging up of the floor, and a fifty-pound flour tin was his reward. With glowering eyes Gogoomy looked on while Sheldon took from the tin a hundred rounds each for the two Winchesters and fully as many rounds more of nondescript cartridges of all sorts and makes and calibres.
The contraband and stolen property was piled in assorted heaps on the back veranda of the bungalow. A few paces from the bottom of the steps were grouped the forty-odd culprits, with behind them, in solid array, the several hundred blacks of the plantation. At the head of the steps Joan and Sheldon were seated, while on the steps stood the gang-bosses. One by one the culprits were called up and examined. Nothing definite could be extracted from them. They lied transparently, but persistently, and when caught in one lie explained it away with half a dozen others. One boy complacently announced that he had found eleven sticks of dynamite on the beach. Matapuuâs revolver, found in the box of one Kapu, was explained away by that boy as having been given to him by Lervumie. Lervumie, called forth to testify, said he had got it from Noni; Noni had got it from Sulefatoi; Sulefatoi from Choka; Choka from Ngava; and Ngava completed the circle by stating that it had been given to him by Kapu. Kapu, thus doubly damned, calmly gave full details of how it had
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