Tracks Of A Rolling Stone by Henry J. Coke (free e reader txt) 📖
- Author: Henry J. Coke
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Her Head Wagged A Little Of Its Own Accord, The Ringlets Too,
Like Lambs' Tails,) That She Had Had An Affaire De Coeur With
An Englishman, And That The Perfidious Islander Had Removed
From The Continent With Her Misplaced Affections. She Was A
Trifle Bitter, I Thought - For I Applied Her Insinuations To
Myself - Against Englishmen Generally. But, Though Cynical
In Theory, She Was Perfectly Amiable In Practice. She
Superintended The Menage And Spent The Rest Of Her Life In
Making Paper Flowers. I Should Hardly Have Known They Were
Flowers, Never Having Seen Their Prototypes In Nature. She
Assured Me, However, That They Were Beautiful Copies -
Undoubtedly She Believed Them To Be So.
Henriette, The Youngest, Had Been The Beauty Of The Family.
This I Had To Take Her Own Word For, Since Here Again There
Was Much Room For Imagination And Faith. She Was A Confirmed
Invalid, And, Poor Thing! Showed Every Symptom Of It. She
Rarely Left Her Room Except For Meals; And Although It Was
Summer When I Was There, She Never Moved Without Her
Chauffrette. She Seemed To Live For The Sake Of Patent
Medicines And Her Chauffrette; She Was Always Swallowing The
One, And Feeding The Other.
The Middle Daughter Was Aglae. Mademoiselle Aglae Took
Charge - I May Say, Possession - Of Me. She Was Tall, Gaunt,
And Bony, With A Sharp Aquiline Nose, Pomegranate Cheek-
Bones, And Large Saffron Teeth Ever Much In Evidence. Her
Speciality, As I Soon Discovered, Was Sentiment. Like Her
Sisters, She Had Had Her 'Affaires' In The Plural. A Greek
Prince, So Far As I Could Make Out, Was The Last Of Her
Adorers. But I Sometimes Got Into Scrapes By Mixing Up The
Greek Prince With A Polish Count, And Then Confounding Either
One Or Both With A Hungarian Pianoforte Player.
Without Formulating My Deductions, I Came Instinctively To
The Conclusion That 'En Fait D'amour,' As Figaro Puts It,
'Trop N'est Pas Meme Assez.' From Miss Aglae's Point Of View
A Lover Was A Lover. As To The Superiority Of One Over
Another, This Was - Nay, Is - Purely Subjective. 'We Receive
Chapter 3 Pg 15But What We Give.' And, From What Mademoiselle Then Told Me,
I Cannot But Infer That She Had Given Without Stint.
Be That As It May, Nothing Could Be More Kind Than Her Care
Of Me. She Tucked Me Up At Night, And Used To Send For Me In
The Morning Before She Rose, To Partake Of Her Cafe-Au-Lait.
In Return For Her Indulgences, I Would 'Make Eyes' Such As I
Had Seen Auguste, The Young Man-Servant, Cast At Rose The
Cook. I Would Present Her With Little Scraps Which I Copied
In Roundhand From A Volume Of French Poems. Once I Drew, And
Coloured With Red Ink, Two Hearts Pierced With An Arrow, A
Copious Pool Of Red Ink Beneath, Emblematic Of Both The
Quality And Quantity Of My Passion. This Work Of Art
Produced So Deep A Sigh That I Abstained Thenceforth From
Repeating Such Sanguinary Endearments.
Not The Least Interesting Part Of The Family Was The
Servants. I Say 'Family,' For A French Family, Unlike An
English One, Includes Its Domestics; Wherein Our Neighbours
Have The Advantage Over Us. In The British Establishment The
Household Is But Too Often Thought Of And Treated As
Furniture. I Was As Fond Of Rose The Cook And Maid-Of-All-
Work As I Was Of Anyone In The House. She Showed Me How To
Peel Potatoes, Break Eggs, And Make Pot-Au-Feu. She Made Me
Little Delicacies In Pastry - Swans With Split Almonds For
Wings, Comic Little Pigs With Cloves In Their Eyes - For All
Of Which My Affection And My Liver Duly Acknowledged Receipt
In Full. She Taught Me More Provincial Pronunciation And Bad
Grammar Than Ever I Could Unlearn. She Was Very Intelligent,
And Radiant With Good Humour. One Peculiarity Especially
Took My Fancy - The Yellow Bandana In Which She Enveloped Her
Head. I Was Always Wondering Whether She Was Born Without
Hair - There Was None To Be Seen. This Puzzled Me So That
One Day I Consulted Auguste, Who Was My Chief Companion. He
Was Quite Indignant, And Declared With Warmth That Mam'selle
Rose Had The Most Beautiful Hair He Had Ever Beheld. He
Flushed Even With Enthusiasm. If It Hadn't Been For His
Manner, I Should Have Asked Him How He Knew. But Somehow I
Felt The Subject Was A Delicate One.
How Incessantly They Worked, Auguste And Rose, And How
Cheerfully They Worked! One Could Hear Her Singing, And Him
Whistling, At It All Day. Yet They Seemed To Have Abundant
Leisure To Exchange A Deal Of Pleasantry And Harmless Banter.
Auguste Was A Swiss, And A Bigoted Protestant, And Never Lost
An Opportunity Of Holding Forth On The Superiority Of The
Reformed Religion. If He Thought The Family Were Out Of
Hearing, He Would Grow Very Animated And Declamatory. But
Rose, Who Also Had Hopes, Though Perhaps Faint, For My
Salvation, Would Suddenly Rush Into The Room With The Carpet
Broom, And Drive Him Out, With Threats Of Miss Aglae, And The
Broomstick.
The Gardener, Monsieur Benoit, Was Also A Great Favourite Of
Chapter 3 Pg 16Mine, And I Of His, For I Was Never Tired Of Listening To His
Wonderful Adventures. He Had, So He Informed Me, Been A
Soldier In The Grande Armee. He Enthralled Me With Hair-
Raising Accounts Of His Exploits: How, When Leading A
Storming Party - He Was Always The Leader - One Dark And
Terrible Night, The Vivid And Incessant Lightning Betrayed
Them By The Flashing Of Their Bayonets; And How In A Few
Minutes They Were Mowed Down By Mitraille. He Had Led
Forlorn Hopes, And Performed Deeds Of Astounding Prowess.
How Many Life-Guardsmen He Had Annihilated: 'Ah! Ben Oui!'
He Was Afraid To Say. He Had Been Personally Noticed By 'Le
P'tit Caporal.' There Were Many, Whose Deeds Were Not To
Compare With His, Who Had Been Made Princes And Mareschals.
Parbleu! But His Luck Was Bad. 'Pas D'chance! Pas D'chance!
Mo'sieu Henri.' As Monsieur Benoit Recorded His Feats, And
Witnessed My Unbounded Admiration, His Voice Would Grow More
And More Sepulchral, Till It Dropped To A Hoarse And Scarcely
Audible Whisper.
I Was A Little Bewildered One Day When, Having Breathlessly
Repeated Some Of His Heroic Deeds To The Marquise, She With A
Quiet Smile Assured Me That 'Ce Petit Bon-Homme,' As She
Called Him, Had For A Short Time Been A Drummer In The
National Guard, But Had Never Been A Soldier. This Was A
Blow To Me; Moreover, I Was Troubled By The Composure Of The
Marquise. Monsieur Benoit Had Actually Been Telling Me What
Was Not True. Was It, Then, Possible That Grown-Up People
Acquired The Privilege Of Fibbing With Impunity? I Wondered
Whether This Right Would Eventually Become Mine!
At Bourg-La-Reine There Is, Or Was, A Large School. Three
Days In The Week I Had To Join One Of The Classes There; On
The Other Three One Of The Ushers Came Up To Larue For A
Couple Of Hours Of Private Tuition. At The School Itself I
Did Not Learn Very Much, Except That Boys Everywhere Are
Pretty Similar, Especially In The Badness Of Their Manners.
I Also Learnt That Shrugging The Shoulders While Exhibiting
The Palms Of The Hands, And Smiting Oneself Vehemently On The
Chest, Are Indispensable Elements Of The French Idiom. The
Indiscriminate Use Of The Word 'Parfaitement' I Also Noticed
To Be Essential When At A Loss For Either Language Or Ideas,
And Have Made Valuable Use Of It Ever Since.
Monsieur Vincent, My Tutor, Was A Most Good-Natured And
Patient Teacher. I Incline, However, To Think That I Taught
Him More English Than He Taught Me French. He Certainly
Worked Hard At His Lessons. He Read English Aloud To Me, And
Made Me Correct His Pronunciation. The Mental Agony This
Caused Me Makes Me Hot To Think Of Still. I Had Never Heard
His Kind Of Franco-English Before. To My Ignorance It Was
The Most Comic Language In The World. There Were Some Words
Which, In Spite Of My Endeavours, He Persisted In Pronouncing
In His Own Way. I Have Since Got Quite Used To The Most Of
Them, And Their Only Effect Is To Remind Me Of My Own Rash
Chapter 3 Pg 17
Ventures In A Foreign Tongue. There Are One Or Two Words
Which Recall The Pain It Gave Me To Control My Emotions. He
Would Produce His Penknife, For Instance; And, Contemplating
It With A Despondent Air, Would Declare It To Be The Most
Difficult Word In The English Language To Pronounce. 'Ow You
Say 'Im?' 'Penknife,' I Explained. He Would Bid Me Write It
Down; Then Having Spelt It, He Would, With Much Effort, And A
Sound Like Sneezing - Oh! The Pain I Endured! - Slowly Repeat
'Penkneef.' I Gave It Up At Last; And He Was Gratified With
His Success. As My Explosion Generally Occurred About Five
Minutes Afterwards, Monsieur Vincent Failed To Connect Cause
And Effect. When We Parted He Gave Me A Neatly Bound Copy Of
La Bruyere As A Prize - For His Own Proficiency, I Presume.
Many A Pleasant Half-Hour Have I Since Spent With The Witty
Classic.
Except The Controversial Harangues Of The Zealot Auguste, My
Religious Teaching Was Neglected On Week Days. On Sundays,
If Fine, I Was Taken To A Protestant Church In Paris; Not
Infrequently To The Embassy. I Did Not Enjoy This At All. I
Could Have Done Very Well Without It. I Liked The Drive,
Which Took About An Hour Each Way. Occasionally Aglae And I
Went In The Bourg-La-Reine Coucou. But Mr. Ellice Had
Arranged That A Carriage Should Be Hired For Me. Probably He
Was Not Unmindful Of The Convenience Of The Old Ladies. They
Were Not. The Carriage Was Always Filled. Even Mademoiselle
Henriette Managed To Go Sometimes - Aided By A Little Patent
Medicine, And When It Was Too Hot For The Chauffrette. If
She Was Unable, A Friend In The Neighbourhood Was Offered A
Seat; And I Had To Sit Bodkin, Or On Mademoiselle Aglae's
Lap. I Hated The 'Friend'; For, Secretly, I Felt The
Carriage Was Mine, Though Of Course I Never Had The Bad Taste
To Say So.
They Went To Mass, And I Was Allowed To Go With Them, In
Addition To My Church, As A Special Favour. I Liked The
Music, The Display Of Candles, The Smell Of The Incense, And
The Dresses Of The Priests; And Wondered Whether When
Undressed - Unrobed, That Is - They Were Funny Old Gentlemen
Like Monsieur Le Cure
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