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Except When He

Bade 'George Ring The Bell,' Was As Perfect A Model Of

Deportment As The Great Mr. Turveydrop Himself.  His Studied

Decorum Possibly Provoked The Playfulness Of The Young Puppy;

And Amongst Other Attempts To Disturb The Beau's Complacency, 

Master Byng Ran A Pin Into The Calf Of That Gentleman's Leg, 

And Then He Ran Away.  A Few Days Later Mr. Brummell,  Who Had

Carefully Dissembled His Wrath,  Invited The Unwary Youth To

Breakfast,  Telling Him That He Was Leaving Town,  And Had A

Present Which His Young Friend Might Have,  If He Chose To

Fetch It.  The Boy Kept The Appointment,  And The Beau His 

Chapter 37 Pg 200

Promise.  After An Excellent Breakfast,  Brummell Took A Whip

From His Cupboard,  And Gave It To The Poodle In A Way The

Young Dog Was Not Likely To Forget.

 

The Happiest Of My Days Then,  And Perhaps Of My Life,  Were

Spent At Mr. Ellice's Highland Lodge,  At Glenquoich.  For

Sport Of All Kinds It Was And Is Difficult To Surpass.  The

Hills Of The Deer Forest Are Amongst The Highest In Scotland;

The Scenery Of Its Lake And Glens,  Especially The Descent To

Loch Hourne,  Is Unequalled.  Here Were To Be Met Many Of The

Most Notable Men And Women Of The Time.  And As The House Was

Twenty Miles From The Nearest Post-Town,  And That In Turn Two

Days From London,  Visitors Ceased To Be Strangers Before They

Left.  In The Eighteen Years During Which This Was My Autumn

Home,  I Had The Good Fortune To Meet Numbers Of Distinguished

People Of Whom I Could Now Record Nothing Interesting But

Their Names.  Still,  It Is A Privilege To Have Known Such Men

As John Lawrence,  Guizot,  Thiers,  Landseer,  Merimee,  Comte De

Flahault,  Doyle,  Lords Elgin And Dalhousie,  Duc De Broglie, 

Pelissier,  Panizzi,  Motley,  Delane,  Dufferin; And Of Gifted

Women,  The Three Sheridans,  Lady Seymour - The Queen Of

Beauty,  Afterwards Duchess Of Somerset - Mrs. Norton,  And

Lady Dufferin.  Amongst Those Who Have A Retrospective

Interest Were Mr. And Lady Blanche Balfour,  Parents Of Mr.

Arthur Balfour,  Who Came There On Their Wedding Tour In 1843. 

Mr. Arthur Balfour's Father Was Mrs. Ellice's First Cousin.

 

It Would Be Easy To Lengthen The List; But I Mention Only

Those Who Repeated Their Visits,  And Who Fill Up My Mental

Picture Of The Place And Of The Life.  Some Amongst Them

Impressed Me Quite As Much For Their Amiability - Their

Loveableness,  I May Say - As For Their Renown; And Regard For

Them Increased With Coming Years.  Panizzi Was One Of These. 

Dufferin,  Who Was Just My Age,  Would Have Fascinated Anyone

With The Singular Courtesy Of His Manner.  Dicky Doyle Was

Necessarily A Favourite With All Who Knew Him.  He Was A

Frequent Inmate Of My House After I Married,  And Was Engaged

To Dine With Me,  Alas! Only Eight Days Before He Died. 

Motley Was A Singularly Pleasant Fellow.  My Friendship With

Him Began Over A Volume Of Sir W. Hamilton's Lectures.  He

Asked What I Was Reading - I Handed Him The Book.

 

'A-H,' Said He,  'There's No Mental Gymnastic Like

Metaphysics.'

 

Many A Battle We Afterwards Had Over Them.  When I Was At

Cannes In 1877 I Got A Message From Him One Day Saying He Was

Ill,  And Asking Me To Come And See Him.  He Did Not Say How

Ill,  So I Put Off Going.  Two Days After I Heard He Was Dead.

 

Merimee's Cynicism Rather Alarmed One.  He Was A Capital

Caricaturist,  Though,  To Our Astonishment,  He Assured Us He

Had Never Drawn,  Or Used A Colour-Box,  Till Late In Life.  He

Had Now Learnt To Use It,  In A Way That Did Not Invariably 

Chapter 37 Pg 201

Give Satisfaction.  Landseer Always Struck Me As Sensitive

And Proud,  A Diogenes-Tempered Individual Who Had Been Spoilt

By The Toadyism Of Great People.  He Was Agreeable If Made

Much Of,  Or Almost Equally So If Others Were Made Little Of.

 

But Of All Those Named,  Surely John Lawrence Was The

Greatest.  I Wish I Had Read His Life Before It Ended.  Yet, 

Without Knowing Anything More Of Him Than That He Was Chief

Commissioner Of The Punjab,  Which Did Not Convey Much To My

Understanding,  One Felt The Greatness Of The Man Beneath His

Calm Simplicity.  One Day The Party Went Out For A Deer-

Drive; I Was Instructed To Place Sir John In The Pass Below

Mine.  To My Disquietude He Wore A Black Overcoat.  I Assured

Him That Not A Stag Would Come Within A Mile Of Us,  Unless He

Covered Himself With A Grey Plaid,  Or Hid Behind A Large Rock

There Was,  Where I Assured Him He Would See Nothing.

 

'Have The Deer To Pass Me Before They Go On To You?' He

Asked.

 

'Certainly They Have,' Said I; 'I Shall Be Up There Above

You.'

 

'Well Then,' Was His Answer,  'I'll Get Behind The Rock - It

Will Be More Snug Out Of The Wind.'

 

One Might As Well Have Asked The Deer Not To See Him,  As Try

To Persuade John Lawrence Not To Sacrifice Himself For

Others.  That He Did So Here Was Certain,  For The Deer Came

Within Fifty Yards Of Him,  But He Never Fired A Shot.

 

Another Of The Indian Viceroys Was The Innocent Occasion Of

Great Discomfort To Me,  Or Rather His Wife Was.  Lady Elgin

Had Left Behind Her A Valuable Diamond Necklace.  I Was Going

Back To My Private Tutor At Ely A Few Days After,  And The

Necklace Was Entrusted To Me To Deliver To Its Owner On My

Way Through London.  There Was No Railway Then Further North

Than Darlington,  Except That Between Edinburgh And Glasgow. 

When I Reached Edinburgh By Coach From Inverness,  My

Portmanteau Was Not To Be Found.  The Necklace Was In A

Despatch-Box In My Portmanteau; And By An Unlucky Oversight, 

I Had Put My Purse Into My Despatch-Box.  What Was To Be

Done?  I Was A Lad Of Seventeen,  In A Town Where I Did Not

Know A Soul,  With Seven Or Eight Shillings At Most In My

Pocket.  I Had To Break My Journey And To Stop Where I Was

Till I Could Get News Of The Necklace; This Alone Was Clear

To Me,  For The Necklace Was The One Thing I Cared For.

 

At The Coach Office All The Comfort I Could Get Was That The

Lost Luggage Might Have Gone On To Glasgow; Or,  What Was More

Probable,  Might Have Gone Astray At Burntisland.  It Might

Not Have Been Put On Board,  Or It Might Not Have Been Taken

Off The Ferry-Steamer.  This Could Not Be Known For Twenty-

Four Hours,  As There Was No Boat To Or From Burntisland Till 

Chapter 37 Pg 202

The Morrow.  I Decided To Try Glasgow.  A Return Third-Class

Ticket Left Me Without A Copper.  I Went,  Found Nothing,  Got

Back To Edinburgh At 10 P.M.,  Ravenously Hungry,  Dead Tired, 

And So Frightened About The Necklace That Food,  Bed,  Means Of

Continuing My Journey,  Were As Mere Death Compared With

Irreparable Dishonour.  What Would They All Think Of Me?  How

Could I Prove That I Had Not Stolen The Diamonds?  Would Lord

Elgin Accuse Me?  How Could I Have Been Such An Idiot As To

Leave Them In My Portmanteau!  Some Rascal Might Break It

Open,  And Then,  Goodbye To My Chance For Ever!  Chance? What

Chance Was There Of Seeing That Luggage Again?  There Were So

Many 'Mights.'  I Couldn't Even Swear That I Had Seen It On

The Coach At Inverness.  Oh Dear! Oh Dear!  What Was To Be

Done?  I Walked About The Streets; I Glanced Woefully At

Door-Steps,  Whereon To Pass The Night; I Gazed Piteously

Through The Windows Of A Cheap Cook's Shop,  Where Solid

Wedges Of Baked Pudding,  That Would Have Stopped Digestion

For A Month,  Were Advertised For A Penny A Block.  How Rich

Should I Have Been If I Had Had A Penny In My Pocket!  But I

Had To Turn Away In Despair.

 

At Last The Inspiration Came.  I Remembered Hearing Mr.

Ellice Say That He Always Put Up At Douglas' Hotel When He

Stayed In Edinburgh.  I Had Very Little Hope Of Success,  But

I Was Too Miserable To Hesitate.  It Was Very Late,  And

Everybody Might Be Gone To Bed.  I Rang The Bell.  'I Want To

See The Landlord.'

 

'Any Name?' The Porter Asked.

 

'No.'  The Landlord Came,  Fat,  Amiable Looking.  'May I Speak

To You In Private?'  He Showed The Way To An Unoccupied Room. 

'I Think You Know Mr. Ellice?'

 

'Glenquoich,  Do You Mean?'

 

'Yes.'

 

'Oh,  Very Well - He Always Stays Here On His Way Through.'

 

'I Am His Step-Son; I Left Glenquoich Yesterday.  I Have Lost

My Luggage,  And Am Left Without Any Money.  Will You Lend Me

Five Pounds?'  I Believe If I Were In The Same Strait Now, 

And Entered Any Strange Hotel In The United Kingdom At Half-

Past Ten At Night,  And Asked The Landlord To Give Me Five

Pounds Upon A Similar Security,  He Would Laugh In My Face,  Or

Perhaps Give Me In Charge Of A Policeman.

 

My Host Of Douglas' Did Neither; But Opened Both His Heart

And His Pocket-Book,  And With The Greatest Good Humour Handed

Me The Requested Sum.  What Good People There Are In This

World,  Which That Crusty Old Sir Peter Teazle Calls 'A D-D

Wicked One.'  I Poured Out All My Trouble To The Generous

Man.  He Ordered Me An Excellent Supper,  And A Very Nice 

Chapter 37 Pg 203

Room.  And On The Following Day,  After Taking A Great Deal Of

Trouble,  He Recovered My Lost Luggage And The Priceless

Treasure It Contained.  It Was A Proud And Happy Moment When

I Returned His Loan,  And Convinced Him,  Of What He Did Not

Seem To Doubt,  That I Was Positively Not A Swindler.

 

But The

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