Drunken Love by Que Son (to read list TXT) 📖

out a book, but could not concentrate. His mind was captured by that strange girl; no, she was not really a stranger, she was the sister of his sister-in-law so in some way there was a connection. He thought the girl was pretty, and the look she gave him was odd. There was something unusual in her the way she looked at him, something that pulls, attracts. And a weird feeling slowly sneaked into his heart. He did not know what that feeling was, but it must have something to do with that girl. He looked at the words on the pages but only saw the girl's face and her faint smile. He wondered what she was doing in here in the house. Where did she live? Was she staying with her sister in this house or somewhere else? He heard footsteps downstairs--and then silence. He walked to the window and looked down and saw the girl walking out of the house. Where could she be going? Her long black hair was flying in the gentle breeze and the steps she took were short, relaxed, and even dignified. He followed her with his eyes until she turned the corner and was out of sight. He went downstairs into the kitchen to look for something to eat and he found some cold rice and vegetable soup. Then his brother came home from the factory and his wife prepared dinner and Adam sat in his room and overheard the conversation between his brother and his sister-in-law. The sister said that "Eve" from now on would stay at her grandfather's house on PCT Street because Adam was back. He thought he understood who the sister was referring to. Eve--that must be the girl's name, and she had been living here in the house when he was away. Had she slept in his room? Adam did not see any sign of that. That night he went to bed and the last thing he saw on his mind before falling asleep was the face of that girl.

 

It was June and it was insanely hot. Adam had gone to sleep inside the mosquito net with only his underwear and he woke up the next morning sweating and the first thing he thought about was that girl. And he could not shake thoughts about her out of his mind no matter how much he wanted to. He walked to the coffee shop and sat with his friends but thoughts about that girl had completely taken over his mind and he felt a strange longing to see her again. In the afternoon he went back home and stayed in his room and was alert for signs that might tell him that the girl was in the house again. But he did not see her again that day, and the desire to see her became stronger and stronger and it made him feel very uncomfortable and agitated.

 

Two days later Adam saw her again. She was sitting in the room of his sister-in-law and as soon as he saw her he felt so shy and clumsy but very happy and he could see that the girl was shy too and she was smiling at him. He felt that they were pulled toward each other like magnets. But he did not have the courage to open his mouth to say anything to her, not even a greeting, and she wasn't saying anything either, but they were painfully and ecstatically aware of each other's presence. She was sitting in the room with her sister's baby. She was wearing a blue pajama and her eyes were large and pearly and as he stole another look he was fascinated by the delicate contours of her small face.

 

That evening he stayed in his room and felt sick. All afternoon he had dared not go downstairs even though he wanted so much to see her. He felt a powerful attraction to the girl and he realized that thoughts about her had now taken over every cell of his brain. He could not think about anything else. The feeling crept in like a thief at night and invaded his entire being. In the evening his sister in law found him in bed curl up in a fetal position and she came near and asked him mockingly if he was sick. He knew she was making fun of him, she knew what was happening to him. "You are sick, for sure." She said and giggled. He couldn't open his mouth to say anything back. He was having a fever. Lovesick.

 

Two nights later Adam was sitting in his room and the girl--Eve--quietly came in and handed him a roasted ear of corn. He looked at her and took the gift as if he was expecting it, but they did not say anything and she quickly left the room. He looked at her swaying ass and long flowing hair as she walked away. And suddenly he felt overwhelmingly happy, satisfied and fulfilled. That was it, the love was declared. The roasted ear of corn, that was her way of saying how she felt about him, he had no doubt. His heart screamed with joy. That night he did not sleep at all and the next morning in the coffee shop he told a friend about Eve and about his feeling for her but the friend did not seem to understand what he was talking about. As far as the friend was concerned, Adam looked and talked delirious.

 

A few days later his sister-in-law said to him that if he wanted to see Eve he must go to the park by the river at seven in the evening. When he got there he saw a small figure sitting on a bench under a flower tree. It must be her—Eve. It was dark in the park and there were only a few children running around whose laughter and screams now and then punctured the silence. The river was just a short distance away. He approached and carefully sat down next to her. It was so quiet he could hear his own breaths and even the beating of his heart. He looked into her face, and she looked into his then cast her eyes downward. His heart beat fast and he felt intensely happy and he knew she was happy too. It was their first secret meeting as lovers. Eve had the look of someone whose prayer had been answered.

 

"Eve," he said.

 

She glanced at him, smiled, then looked down again.

 

"Where are you living?" He said.

 

"At my grandfather's." How small and thin her voice was.

 

And that was all that was said between them. They sat, feeling each other's overwhelming presence. The smell from her body captivated him, a smell he had never known before, it was the smell of young virgin flesh. And even though they were sitting next to one another, their body did not touch. The intense joy of being together this physically close and knowing that they loved one another were so satisfying it rendered them speechless. The night was clear and there were sparkling stars but there was no moon. Hours passed in blissful silence. The children had gone home. It was so quiet he heard only the crying of the insects. Then suddenly she said, "It's late. I have to go" in a voice that sounded almost panicky, as if she was rudely shaken awake from a beautiful dream.

 

"Don't go." He said, not knowing how long he had been sitting with her. Perhaps it was only three minutes, or perhaps it was three hours. But like her, he felt panic at the thought that the meeting must end.

 

"Grandfather will be mad if I come back so late." She answered.

 

"Don't go," he said as if pleading.

 

"But I must go!"

 

"I don't want you to."

 

"I will come and see you at your house."

 

"When?"

 

"I don't know yet."

 

"People will see us."

 

"My sister knows already."

 

And they left the park. It must be past eleven o'clock. They walked slowly toward the center of the city where her grandfather's house was. The street was empty and silent and he felt an urge to hold her hand but was too afraid. They walked with a small distance between them. Her place was at a street corner where there was a big tree and when they approached the house it was all dark in the house and he stopped and looked when she stood at the door cautiously calling out someone's name. After a minute, the door opened and she disappeared inside. That night Adam went to bed the happiest person in the world.

 

After that first meeting they saw each other whenever situation allowed. Many summer evenings they sat together on the concrete roof of his house and from there they could see the black mass of the mountains in the distance and the stars in the clear night sky above them. They sat for a long time until it was quiet in the street below. They still did not have much to say to each other, and their hands had not touched. It seemed that seeing and being near each other were enough, perhaps more than enough, and therefore neither felt a need to say anything. And sometimes when they heard footsteps, Eve would get up and quickly walk away. It was almost always Adam's brother come up to lock the door before going to bed and as he saw Eve he said to her what are you doing up here but Eve did not answer--she just kept going. And then he saw Adam in a dark corner and he understood what was going on.

 

Eve was buying and selling things in the market as she did with her mother before the family moved to the new economic zone. She was making a little money everyday on the small capital lent her by her sister. And that was how she made her living. As for Adam, all he did everyday was waiting for the time to see Eve, mostly in the evening, either on the roof of his house or at street corners around the city. They still did not touch one another, not even on the shoulders or on the hands. And so the summer went.

 

One evening Eve said to him that she was going to Sai Gon to stay with another sister and go to school to learn dressmaking and Adam asked her when she was coming back and she said she did not know. Then she was gone. And it took Adam a few days to acknowledge that Eve was no longer around.

 

A week after Eve's departure, Adam felt as if he was dying. He became desperate. He missed her terribly, and became sad. The sadness intensified as the days went by. He had not received any letter from her. Everyday when he walked home, he imagined that as soon as he stepped inside the house he would see Eve there. And he was disappointed when his wish did not materialize: she was not there. He walked to the park by the river and saw Eve sitting there waiting for him but he was aware that it was only his overheated imagination that made him see her--a ghost. And the hallucinations gave him even more pain. He sat on the roof at the spot where they had used to sit and lost himself in thoughts. He wanted to, he needed to, he must see Eve again.

 

So one day he asked his sister-in-law for Eve's address in Sai Gon. He had decided to go find her. And he asked his father for money for the trip. He could not walk there because it was such a big distance, he must take the bus and the trip would take a day and a night. His father asked him why would he want to go to Sai Gon, but he did not answer the question, he only said that he needed to go and needed money for the trip. His