lost love by elizabeth fritz (namjoon book recommendations .TXT) 📖

WHY SHANNON WHY, you must be wondering. HE HAS BEEN A COMPLETE AND UTTER DOUCHE TO YOU. Yes, indeed he has. So why do I love him? Maybe it's his cute grin that stretches miles across his face and leaves the deepest dimple on his left cheek which I like to kiss. Or it might just be the way we never understood each other but still managed to be happy together. Maybe it was how he would make me so angry, then apologise softly with his deep voice through the phone that would make my heart melt. Or how he would open my hair whenever it was tied and tell me I look beautiful.

So you must understand. I admit he's been more than impossible lately, but there was a time when he was great. He had made me fall for him after all. I just needed to find him again.

((to be continued.)) the broken hearted

 Well. It was right in front of me all along. Perhaps love had blinded me, preventing me from seeing it. Or maybe, deep inside, I knew, but never wanted to accept. It was a lot to take in. And it really hurt. Stung, more like, right in the heart. But this was life, right? Things like this happened. It sucks, we move on. But why was this so hard?

He cheated. Michael- the boy I grew to love- betrayed me. He straight out hammered my heart into a hundred million pieces.

Of course I'd be alright, though. I wouldn't let myself become one of those girls who spend all their time, hung over on one guy who broke their hearts this one time when they were vulnerable teenagers. I hated those kind of girls.

I had gone to see him that next day. I couldn't take it. I had to talk to him. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I needed to know. It was killing me, and frankly I didn't think this dude, whoever he thought he was, had the right to kill me, to make me feel this way. I deserved much better and I wasn't going to wait around to get what I deserved anymore. I was going to go right out there and get it for myself.

I was all hyped up, marching towards his house, angrily, that I forgot what I was supposed to say to him. It was only when I was a couple of yards away when I realised this. Crap! What do I say? I can't afford to go make a fool out of myself there.. I thought, slowing down my pace, thinking. Screw it, I'll improvise!

I was banging on the door as hard as I could, impatiently, waiting for him to answer it. Finally he did. It was incredibly obvious that he was surprised to see me. And not the 'Oh my God, Shannon! What a lovely surprise, it's so great to see you, you should visit me spontaneously more often!' kind of surprised, but more like a 'Oh.. It's you again. What on earth are you doing here, you should have called first.' kind of surprised. I didn't really appreciate the second kind.

Michael held the door half opened and just stared at me as if I was someone he once knew. And perhaps I was. I definitely will be, now.

"Shannon." he finally smiled, that half crooked smile I learned to fall in love with. Except it wasn't the same. He wasn't happy to see me. I could tell from his eyes. He couldn't figure out why I was here, or what to say. "Hi."

I looked at him, with my best poker-face on. He couldn't know how I was feeling inside, yet. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" I asked. Hellos were too mainstream.

"Um, yeah. Come on in." he opened the door further, leading me to the living room. "What's up? Are you okay?" he asked. Hah. As if he was actually worried about me.

OBVIOUSLY I'm not okay. You should know that! Why would I be okay. Why do you do this to me, why do you make me feel this way?

"Uh huh... I just wanted to ask you something.. It's stupid really.. But it's bothering me." I said, rather quickly.

He raised his brows and looked at me in a strange way. "Alright." he folded his arms, ready to listen.

"I picked up your phone the other day." I started. "It was Kelly. She said something about you planning to break up with me?" I asked, examining his face.

"You answered my phone?" He asked. His expression was blank. So hard to read!

"Yes.. But that's irrelevant!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Of course I don't want to break up with you." he said, trying to reassure me. I didn't buy it, of course.

"Alright, fine. Okay, don't get creeped out, but I followed you after you dropped me home." I said, hoping he didn't react wildly.

"What?" he widened his eyes, looking at me. "Why? Are you crazy?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. Okay, but look. You were with someone. I know it. You know it. Who is it, Michael, just tell me. Are you cheating on me with Kelly? Michael, look, this isn't fair. I don't deserve to be treated like this. What's going on?" I ranted on and on, as he just stared at me in disbelief.

"Kelly? God, no. She's like my sister." he muttered, shaking his head. That's all he said.

I watched him, expectantly. Wasn't he going to defend himself? Nope. "Who is it?" I asked again, calmly, through gritted teeth.

Just then, as if right on time, someone skipped down the stairs, entering the living room. "Michael, where did you go? I've been waiting so long." said the familiar, feminine voice.

"I told you to stay upstairs." he muttered, closing his eyes as she walked into the room. The girl stopped in between her next step forward, and stared at me. She was wearing his shirt. Only.

This is what hurt more than anything else. I guess I would have felt a little better if it was just Kelly he was hooking up with behind my back, but this was intolerable, hardly reparable. Even insufferable at one point. The first thing I could think of was how could they do this to me?

"Emily?"

I looked at her, not believing it. My very own best friend? I could just feel the years of friendship flush down the drain. How could she do this to me? How could she do this to her own boyfriend.

She was starting to explain herself to me, and so was Michael. They were both trying to say something, but it didn't matter. I wasn't going to stick around to hear it. Something like this wasn't easily forgiven. I just had to leave with the little dignity I had left. No way was I standing there in front of the traitors, letting them humiliate me by just their presence.

Soon I found myself locked up in my study. I didn't cry, not once. I just needed some time to process it all. I was locked inside for hours, in the same position. My cell phone kept buzzing inside my pocket, but i just ignored it. My family soon realised where I was, and tried to reach out.

Eventually, the person I needed the most came, right at the perfect time, and he was the only person I let in. Luke.

new beggining

Luke walked over to where i was sitting and wraped his arms around me. As soon as he touched me my eyes flooded with tears and i tried so hard to stop but i just couldnt. He leaned in and said,

 

"I LOVE YOU SHAN!"

I didnt know what to say to him, i just told him the truth,

 

"I LOVE YOU TO LUKE." 

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Publication Date: 09-12-2015

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