Is it to late? by Pauline Droste (e ink manga reader txt) 📖

checks. After a short while we finally arrive in our plane and of course he takes the window seat and closes the curtain right away. Jerk, is my first thought. It is my first time one the airplane and I can’t look out of the window. While Norwin falls asleep after 20 minutes, I can’t believe how he can miss this adventure. After three hours and at least hundreds failed tries to look out of the window we finally land. But this time Norwin is not trying to cover my ears.

    “Lady’s and Gentelmen, welcome to Scotland. We have nice 22°C outside, which are about 72°F. The local time is 16:30. Please stay buckled up until the fasten seatbelt signs are off. I hope you had a nice flight and will travel again with British Airways.” Is the announcement through the speakers.

    “Scotland? You took me to Scotland?” In my face are too many emotions to count them all, but I am sure enthusiasm is one of them.

    “The best Haggis in the world, baby!” he replies. I just skew my eyes.

    “Without me.” After hours of waiting in all the lines we arrive in our hotel. Well, palace would describe it better.  The wall outside is out of grey bricks and the windows big and white. A red dressed page brings us to our suite. He opens the door and brings our suitcases in it.

    “Is there anything else you need, sir?” I nearly don’t hear him. My eyes look at the stunning view out of our window. I nearly don’t even hear his ridiculous accent.

    “No thank you.” I hear Norwin’s voice behind me. Then I hear the rustle of money. The door falls in its look and we are alone. Far away from home. I feel how Norwin comes closer to me and lays his arms around me.

    “Happy Birthday!” he whispers in my ear. I feel his hot breath on my ear. How his lips kiss the skin behind my ear.

    “Let’s go and have dinner.” Even if the hotel is really modern, it is very welcoming. In the hotel own restaurant we sit down and of course Norwin orders Haggis. I skew my eyes disgusted, when the bowels mix is brought to our table. On my plate a fish looks at me really stupid, but here I know what I have on my plate. After dinner we go back to our room and fall asleep right away.

    Our vacation is way too fast over. When I am back home mom tells me that the doctor called and really wants to talk to me. I have to swallow. That doesn’t sound good. On the same evening I call him, but the only thing he tells me is that I should come to his office. Although I swore to Norwin that I am going to tell him everything I will not tell him this. My appointment is three days later. I drive with my parents to the hospital. When we arrive there we can get to the doctor right away. Without any waiting. Another bad sign.

    “Good Morning Miss Ruthven.” I take his hand and shake it. Then he takes my parents hands and shakes them to.

    “Good Morning Dr. Smith.” I answer. I am so nervous I can barely talk.

    “We got your test results…” He makes a pause a deep breath. “To get a positive result with the therapy the cancer has to go back at least 25%. I am afraid I have to tell you we didn’t get that for your results. Your cancer didn’t reply to the therapy. There is nothing we can do for you anymore. I am really sorry.” With these words my world breaks into little pieces. Tears run down my face. Is that my death sentence? “When you’re lucky,… If there is anything you want to do in your life, do it now.” I take my hand down from my face and look at my parents. They are crying as much as I do. Even Dr. Smith seems to be touched.

    I have no idea how I got home, but when my parents bring me through the door, I see my whole family in front of me. Even my parent’s siblings and their children. They are all waiting for me in the living room. They just came for me. I am not sure if the tears I am crying are tears of joy or grief, probably a mix out of both. I see Norwin standing in a corner, just by himself and silently crying. I stay in the door, unsure what to say or to do. I clear my throat.

    “I am sure, everyone here knows the reason we are here today. But I am not afraid. Not if you have a family like me. No one of us knows the reason god wants to take me this early, but I am sure he has his reason. I don’t want to cry tonight, never again for the rest of my life. I want to celebrate. I want to celebrate the life I have left and don’t cry about the part I don’t. We are all going to celebrate the time we have left. I don’t want to cry. I don’t to see anyone crying tonight. I know it is hard, but I want that the last thing I do is to celebrate life and to not cry for it. I grab a glass next to me, and I hope that the substance is alcohol. “So raise you glass with me and drink for the life! Cheers!”

“Cheers” everyone repeats. The night is long and when Norwin forces me to go to bed I am not tired at all. We cuddle the whole night and talk. Not about me, him or us. We just talk. When the sun comes up and kisses the horizon we both lost our fear. He gives me a kiss on my forehead und moves down to my nose to my mouth. With my last breath I die on his lips.

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Publication Date: 01-14-2014

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To Michalle