Troubled, Crazy, or Something else? by By: Chanel G. Ashmon, and Ellie A. Willson (spicy books to read TXT) 📖

gone. Please understand”.
“I do,” he said, even though his eyes looked like an abandoned puppy’s. Despite myself, my heart stung. I stared at my feet.
“Can you take me home?” I asked quietly.
“0f course,” Jake said, and took my hand. We walked back in to my house in silence.
At the tree, he silently whispered a goodbye in my ear and pecked me on the cheek. I gave him a parting glance and hurried up the tree, through the window, and across the hall to cry into my pillow. I had no idea that just as he finally turned to leave, a firm hand clamped down on his shoulder.
“We need to talk,” Ray said menacingly.
“Uh-M-Mr. Wolph I was just um-” Jake stammered.
“I know what you were doing. And it’s going to stop. All of this is”
“Wh-what do you mean-Sir?”
“You are going to break up with Lillian. Tomorrow,” Ray said sternly.
Jake’s eyes widened to the size of golf balls. “Why?!”
“My reasons are personal. But if you know what’s best for you-and for Lillian-then I had better never see you around here again”.
“But I’m in love with Lilli!” Jake blurted. Ray’s eyes narrowed.
“And I hate the little demon. And I’d have no trouble hurting her if you decided to ignore my strong suggestion. Understand?”
Jake was silent, awestruck. Ray simply left him there.


My cell phone rang, a boring, default tone. I had never bothered to change it. I picked it up, and almost smiled when I saw Jakey <3 on the screen.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hey, um Lilli? Uh, it’s Jake” His voice sounded strange.
“Yeah…I know”
“Um, meet me at the river-wait no I like that place-I mean um…meet me at the really bad ice cream shop”.
“Wait, what?”
I looked down at the screen. He had already hung up. What is going on? I thought as I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs.
“Where are you going?” Ray suddenly blocked the doorway, arms folded. 0h crap.
“To meet Jake” I said, defeated.
“0h, well, have fun”
My head jolted up, but Ray was already walking away, avoiding my gaze. Well, whatever, I ran as fast as I could before he could sober up.


“Jakey!” I smiled, and held my arms out for a hug. He stood motionless, avoiding my gaze even more than Ray had. My arms dropped and my smile faded. I waited for him to say something, but he was silent.
“Jakey?” I asked quietly.
“I…” Jake took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, finally looking up at my, but still avoiding my eyes, “I’m breaking up with you”.
It seemed like the tears had been waiting for this, because the flowed instantly. I was not quite so prepared. I gasped, and stumbled backwards. “But-Jakey, why??” I asked, my voice cracking.
He looked back at his shoes, his face a mask of pain. This didn’t make sense.
“I-Lilli…I’m sorry, but I have to-” He turned, unable to finish. After a moment, he began to walk away. And at that moment I realized no matter how hard I fought it, I loved him.
“Jake! Wait! I L0VE Y0U!!!” I screamed, desperate.
He froze. His head turned just the slightest bit and I saw the glisten of tears on his cheek. What??? But he was already gone.
Chapter 3 from terrible to impossible

The days passed in a blur. Had it been two? Six? Ten? Who cared? My father was dead, my mother was dead, and my boyfr- ex-boyfriend- hated me and my life sucked. Tarra kept calling me. I shut my phone off. Ray ignored me, as usual. I pretty much just…existed. Nothing more.
Until that night…
“What are you doing?” Ray asked, coming into the room.
“Watching television” I answered flatly.
“It’s off”
I blinked, and sure enough, it was. I had been sitting on the couch with a untouched slice of pizza for two hours.
“I like it better black”
Ray walked over to the couch where I was lying, and stood over me. He would have covered me in his shadow had we been outside. He was insanely muscular, and Italian, like a mafia guy. Yet he was an accountant, “Go to your room, now”.
“Whatever” I walked up to my room and stared out the window at the passing cars. I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye, then turned to see that Ray had followed me up. I stared at him, questioning. He ignored my look and within an instant had pushed me onto the bed.
“What are you doing?!?!?!?!?!” I was petrified.
“I’m gonna teach you how to be a woman” He had a sinister look in his eyes as he ripped open my blouse. The buttons went flying in all directions, but he ignored them.
“NO, DON’T!” I pleaded, but he covered my mouth and pressed his body against mine. It stung I blanked out after that the sounds of my screams echoing in my ears, I still can feel his rough hands violating the only bit of childhood I had left.


I lay in my bed, I felt so dirty. I kept thinking about how the priest said everything was a part of God’s plan. Well his plan sucked. Then I got to thinking about my mom and dad, up there in heaven, waiting for me so they could have a paradise all together with our family again.
The doors and windows were all locked, but I could still use the bathroom. I tip-toed across the hall ten times quieter than I had that night with Jake. I hid myself in the shower anyway, just in case.
I opened the medicine cabinet with a shaky hand, and pulled out my lexipro, that my therapist (required for people with two dead parents. Wonder why) had demanded I take, ‘just in case’. I filled a paper cup with water, and then I emptied about twenty into my palm and swallowed them, one by one. I passed out within ten minutes.


I opened my eyes, and in heaven I was not, and oh god Ray was at my side and I was in a hospital. FML.
“You can go I wanna talk to her alone” Rays said to a near by nurse, and she scurried off before I could stop her.
“I’m gonna tell them Ray you can’t hide me forever”
“0h honey, I don’t have to,” He said with an evil grin on his face, “You’ll be in the Foundation for the Mentally Impaired, or FMI, soon enough. And good luck getting anyone to believe some crazy story from a girl who’s mentally unstable”.
I turned away from Ray hoping the nurse would hurry back, looking at him brought back those horrifying memories. I tried to process what he had said, I wasn’t a crazy, I was just…done. Done with this life. But then it dawned on me, he didn’t care. It was just a perfect solution to his little dilemma. A dead step daughter would cause to many questions and a police investigation. To make his life easier he had to play the part of the concerned stepdad so I’d be sent away, and his life would be that much simpler. Ray walks away as the nurse comes back with water and some pills I had to take. More pills? How ironic I thought…

Chapter 4 FMI (Fuck My Insanity)

As I rode in the car to the FMI, I couldn’t help thinking that this might be a good thing. They may put me in a jail cell full of loony toons, but at least I was far away from Ray 

Imprint

Text: Chanel Ashmon and Ellie Wilson
Images: cover image found online i do not own it.
Publication Date: 07-24-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
to Julie Halpern for helping me realize how fun it is to write about mental hospitals, and to The sleepover that started it all