The Two Gentlemen of Verona by William Shakespeare (carter reed .txt) 📖

humbled, kiss the rod!
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
When willingly I would have had her here:
How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
When inward joy enforc'd my heart to smile.
My penance is, to call Lucetta back
And ask remission for my folly past.
What ho! Lucetta!

[Re-enter LUCETTA.]

LUCETTA.
What would your ladyship?

JULIA.
Is it near dinner time?

LUCETTA.
I would it were;
That you might kill your stomach on your meat
And not upon your maid.

JULIA.
What is't that you took up so gingerly?

LUCETTA.
Nothing.

JULIA.
Why didst thou stoop, then?

LUCETTA.
To take a paper up
That I let fall.

JULIA.
And is that paper nothing?

LUCETTA.
Nothing concerning me.

JULIA.
Then let it lie for those that it concerns.

LUCETTA.
Madam, it will not lie where it concerns,
Unless it have a false interpreter.

JULIA.
Some love of yours hath writ to you in rime.

LUCETTA.
That I might sing it, madam, to a tune:
Give me a note: your ladyship can set.

JULIA.
As little by such toys as may be possible;
Best sing it to the tune of 'Light o' Love.'

LUCETTA.
It is too heavy for so light a tune.

JULIA.
Heavy! belike it hath some burden then?

LUCETTA.
Ay; and melodious were it, would you sing it.

JULIA.
And why not you?

LUCETTA.
I cannot reach so high.

JULIA.
Let's see your song. [Taking the letter.]
How now, minion!

LUCETTA.
Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:
And yet methinks, I do not like this tune.

JULIA.
You do not?

LUCETTA.
No, madam; it is too sharp.

JULIA.
You, minion, are too saucy.

LUCETTA.
Nay, now you are too flat
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant;
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.

JULIA.
The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass.

LUCETTA.
Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.

JULIA.
This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
Here is a coil with protestation! - [Tears the letter.]
Go, get you gone; and let the papers lie:
You would be fingering them, to anger me.

LUCETTA.
She makes it strange; but she would be best pleas'd
To be so anger'd with another letter.

[Exit.]

JULIA.
Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus':
Poor wounded name! my bosom, as a bed,
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be throughly heal'd;
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down:
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
Till I have found each letter in the letter
Except mine own name; that some whirlwind bear
Unto a ragged, fearful-hanging rock,
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ:
'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia': - that I'll tear away;
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
He couples it to his complaining names:
Thus will I fold them one upon another:
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.

[Re-enter LUCETTA.]

LUCETTA.
Madam,
Dinner is ready, and your father stays.

JULIA.
Well, let us go.

LUCETTA.
What! shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?

JULIA.
If you respect them, best to take them up.

LUCETTA.
Nay, I was taken up for laying them down;
Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.

JULIA.
I see you have a month's mind to them.

LUCETTA.
Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;
I see things too, although you judge I wink.

JULIA.
Come, come; will't please you go?

[Exeunt.]


SCENE 3. The same. A room in ANTONIO'S house.

[Enter ANTONIO and PANTHINO.]

ANTONIO.
Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that
Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?

PANTHINO.
'Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son.

ANTONIO.
Why, what of him?

PANTHINO.
He wonder'd that your lordship
Would suffer him to spend his youth at home,
While other men, of slender reputation,
Put forth their sons to seek preferment out:
Some to the wars, to try their fortune there;
Some to discover islands far away;
Some to the studious universities.
For any, or for all these exercises,
He said that Proteus, your son, was meet;
And did request me to importune you
To let him spend his time no more at home,
Which would be great impeachment to his age,
In having known no travel in his youth.

ANTONIO.
Nor need'st thou much importune me to that
Whereon this month I have been hammering.
I have consider'd well his loss of time,
And how he cannot be a perfect man,
Not being tried and tutor'd in the world:
Experience is by industry achiev'd,
And perfected by the swift course of time.
Then tell me whither were I best to send him?

PANTHINO.
I think your lordship is not ignorant
How his companion, youthful Valentine,
Attends the emperor in his royal court.

ANTONIO.
I know it well.

PANTHINO.
'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither:
There shall he practise tilts and tournaments,
Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen,
And be in eye of every exercise
Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.

ANTONIO.
I like thy counsel; well hast thou advis'd;
And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it,
The execution of it shall make known:
Even with the speediest expedition
I will dispatch him to the emperor's court.

PANTHINO.
To-morrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso
With other gentlemen of good esteem
Are journeying to salute the emperor
And to commend their service to his will.

ANTONIO.
Good company; with them shall Proteus go.
And in good time: - now will we break with him.

[Enter PROTEUS.]

PROTEUS.
Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!
Here is her hand, the agent of her heart;
Here is her oath for love, her honour's pawn.
O! that our fathers would applaud our loves,
To seal our happiness with their consents!
O heavenly Julia!

ANTONIO.
How now! What letter are you reading there?

PROTEUS.
May't please your lordship, 'tis a word or two
Of commendations sent from Valentine,
Deliver'd by a friend that came from him.

ANTONIO.
Lend me the letter; let me see what news.

PROTEUS.
There is no news, my lord; but that he writes
How happily he lives, how well belov'd
And daily graced by the emperor;
Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.

ANTONIO.
And how stand you affected to his wish?

PROTEUS.
As one relying on your lordship's will,
And not depending on his friendly wish.

ANTONIO.
My will is something sorted with his wish.
Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed;
For what I will, I will, and there an end.
I am resolv'd that thou shalt spend some time
With Valentinus in the Emperor's court:
What maintenance he from his friends receives,
Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.
To-morrow be in readiness to go:
Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.

PROTEUS.
My lord, I cannot be so soon provided;
Please you, deliberate a day or two.

ANTONIO.
Look, what thou want'st shall be sent after thee:
No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go.
Come on, Panthino: you shall be employ'd
To hasten on his expedition.

[Exeunt ANTONIO and PANTHINO.]

PROTEUS.
Thus have I shunn'd the fire for fear of burning,
And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd.
I fear'd to show my father Julia's letter,
Lest he should take exceptions to my love;
And with the vantage of mine own excuse
Hath he excepted most against my love.
O! how this spring of love resembleth
The uncertain glory of an April day,
Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,
And by an by a cloud takes all away!

[Re-enter PANTHINO.]

PANTHINO.
Sir Proteus, your father calls for you;
He is in haste; therefore, I pray you, go.

PROTEUS.
Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,
And yet a thousand times it answers 'no.'

[Exeunt.]


ACT 2.

SCENE I. Milan. A room in the DUKE'S palace.

[Enter VALENTINE and SPEED.]

SPEED.
Sir, your glove. [Offering a glove.]

VALENTINE.
Not mine; my gloves are on.

SPEED.
Why, then, this may be yours; for this is but one.

VALENTINE.
Ha! let me see; ay, give it me, it's mine;
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Silvia! Silvia!

SPEED.
[Calling.] Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!

VALENTINE.
How now, sirrah?

SPEED.
She is not within hearing, sir.

VALENTINE.
Why, sir, who bade you call her?

SPEED.
Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.

VALENTINE.
Well, you'll still be too forward.

SPEED.
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.

VALENTINE.
Go to, sir. tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?

SPEED.
She that your worship loves?

VALENTINE.
Why, how know you that I am in love?

SPEED.
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like
Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a malcontent; to relish a
love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that
had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his
A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam;
to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears
robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to
walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently
after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money.
And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
on you, I can hardly think you my master.

VALENTINE.
Are all these things perceived in me?

SPEED.
They are all perceived without ye.

VALENTINE.
Without me? They cannot.

SPEED.
Without you? Nay, that's certain; for, without you were so
simple, none else would; but you are so without these follies
that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the
water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
physician to comment on your malady.

VALENTINE.
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

SPEED.
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?

VALENTINE.
Hast thou observed that? Even she, I mean.

SPEED.
Why, sir, I know her not.

VALENTINE.
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know'st
her not?

SPEED.
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?

VALENTINE.
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.

SPEED.
Sir, I know that well enough.

VALENTINE.
What dost thou know?

SPEED.
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.

VALENTINE.
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour
infinite.

SPEED.
That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all
count.

VALENTINE.
How painted? and how out of count?

SPEED.
Marry, sir, so