What am I to do? by shi1234 (inspiring books for teens txt) 📖

I got out of there. I ran to the bathroom and pulled out my phone.

Me: OMG!! Vaugn still dating May!!
Her: ............
Me: U ok?
Her: No. But i'll b fine. Imma break it off when I c him.
Me: kk. Srry
Her: 4 wat? U didn't do anything.
Me: Still. I hate being the bearer of bad news.
Her: But u do it so well : )
Me: Lol

I put my phone away, sighing. That arsehole!! I walked back to class with feet feeling like lead.

Later that week, May walked into class looking mad. She turned around in her seat to look at me. "Vaugn and I aren't together anymore. Tell Shortstack she can have him." she said. "She don't want him" I snapped back. Relationships suck

My first boyfriend, Ed. Words I can use to describe him? Funny, flirty, and um.......wishy washy. Before school, 4th mod, and right after school he's hugging on me and wants me to sit on his lap. But in the hallway and at lunch, he doesn't smile, let alone give me a hug. Then, after school, he's blowing up my phone all afternoon and night. It leaves me wondering and weary.

One day, I just made it to 1st mod. A classmate named Steven ran in the room yelling. "Hey!! Ed just french kissed Ana!!" I was speechless. When I saw Ed later, he was mad and walked right past me. I saw him the next day. He apologized saying that he wasn't mad at me. I asked about Ana, and he changed the subject.He wants to kiss me, but he won't talk to me. Not about anything important anyway. Finally I couldn't do it anymore. I looked him in the face and said "This is not working for me." Then, believe it or not, he said ok and smiled!! I sat with my girls. I was happy to get it over with, but it did not help my self-esteem that he let me go so easily.

At lunch the next day, I got a text from Ed.

Him: I miss u
Me: Ok. So?
Him: I want u bac
Me: Didnt seem lik it when u was smilin
Him: I was being stupid
Me: Plez boy
Him: So u dnt want me bac
Me: Nope

Just a tiny white lie, but it's necessary.

Him: Then wat bout friends-wif-benefits?

I read that last part with wide eyes. Then I laughed so hard and long, that everyone around me was staring at me. Taco and Epic looked at me with a question in their eyes. I told them what Ed said. They started laughing and I busted into a whole new round of giggling.

Me: Ur funny. Lmfao. Shut da heck up. U sound so stupid rite now
Him: ..............
Me:Bye
Him: C u

* * *

2 months later....science class

So i'm doing my work, right? Next thing you know, I hear a buzz and it takes a minute to realize it was my phone.

Him: Hi

I sighed. I should have known. Ed. After the breakup I deleted his number and stopped talking to him. Wonder what he wants now.

Me: hey
Him: wyd? (what are you doing?)
Me: In science class. U?
Him: In reading
Me: Tru
Him: Yea
Me: Yep

Therre was a brief period of silence.

Him: Do u still lik me?
Me: ............
Him: Is dat a yes?
Me: My heart didnt turn 2 stone ed. Yes, I still lik u but now I lik u more lik a bro
Him: Yea. So I think about kissing my sister. Great. NOT
Me: Srry. its jus how I feel
Him: Fine. @ least im not outed
Me: Got dat rite. U came close
Him: I no

I put my phone away. I couldn't respond, because I didn't know what to say.

* * *

So Ed and I stayed friends. Or at least I thought so. He obviously had other ideas........

Ed got another girlfriend and I stayed gloriously single. There was a time when we would meet up in the morning by our 4th mod class. I always wanted to talk, but he was always trying to kiss me. I pushed him away over and over. Soon I gave up and walked away. Yet he wonders why his gf broke up with him. He came to me, crying about how no one wants him. He told me that she thought he was cheating on her. I patted him on the back, but I couldn't say anything. Why? Because he was trying to cheat. The only reason he didn't is because I wouldn't let him.

* * *

Do you have anybody that you can't ever stay mad at? I have 6. And Ed is one of them. I can avoid him right now, but I know that once he catches up with me, I can't push him away.

At least, not if he wants to talk.

 

If he tries anything else, I certainly can.

Some Boys are Dogs

Today I had a meeting during 4th mod. I dropped by class to get a pass then walked back out. I was going to go straight to the meeting, but I decided to wait for Shortstack. So I put my stuff down and started pacing.

Ed and 2 other guys in our class camearound the corner. I ignored them and kept pacing. My mistake. If I had watched them or said something then maybe it wouldn't have happened. But the point is that it happened. And it almost ruined Ed's and my friendship totally.
i reached the end of the hallway. When I turned around, Ed was right behind me. A little close for comfort. Because I didn't hear him walk up, he scared me. He put an arm on each side of me, trapping me against the wall. I just stood there, eyes wide. Once he tried to kiss me, I regained control over my body.

I pushed him away, but his arms didn't move and he kept trying. A few tries later, I finally managed to push him away. Then a classmate named Bush came around the corner. He only saw Ed standing there with my hands on his chest. "Woah" he said"somebody's getting freaky." Then he can over and took Ed's place harassing me. I've had enough. I pulled my knee up, catching him between the legs. I laughed bitterly as he fell. I felt tears surfacing and rushed to the bathroom, passing Pool. "Hey! What happened?" he called. I ignored him, slamming the door behind me. I knew Ed wouldn't think twice about coming in, he's done it before. So I made sure to lock the door. I sat on the floor, put my head on my knees, and cried.

* * *

5 mins later

I'm still mad as heck, but i'm no longer crying. I walk out, head high, scowl on my face. Ed was sitting outside. "You ok?" he asked. "Fuck off asshole." I replied. "Wait," he said grabbing my arm. "What did I do?" I stared at his hand until he moved it. "You don't know the meaning of no. N-O." I said. Then I walked into the classroom looking for Shortstack. I saw her in her seat and told her to come on.

* * *

As I look through these pages, I only see bad times. And each and every one of them was caused by a boy. I find it so hard to trust boys now. I've caught them in too many lies. Too many compromising positions. Most of them are horny, stupid, and/or weird.
i need someone mature, funny, sweet. Someone who doesn't make me afraid that he will mistreat me. I guess you could say I have a new phobia to committment. Every guy has the potential to be a great friend. But not many try. And that's what matters.

Internet Freaks

I get on an online site where you can talk to people. I've meet a few good people. The thing is, people chat me. I don't chat them. But because of that, I really only talk to guys online. I'm sure of 4 good people on the site: abeforeu, semi69,thedadof3 and jjwave. I'm always talking to abeforeu about music. Semi69 is the definition of horny but he's really nice, and he isn't freaky. He's funny too. Thedadof3 is the father of 3. He has a drinking and smoking problem but he's really nice. He listens well too, so I could talk for hours without noticing. Jjwave is a surfer and an English teacher. But then there's the weirdos.

Scenario 1: xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Hi
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Hey
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: how r u?
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: im gud. U?
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: im gud 2
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: dats gud

So we talk for about 20 minutes. Next thing I know........

xxcooljayxx>kittykat: I love u
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Huh?
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: I love u
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: no u dnt
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Plez. Can i have a chance?
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: No! Ur 21. And im how old? Huh?
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Age is jus a #
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Ha. Tell dat 2 da police
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Plez
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: No
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Now ur being a bitch
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Scuse me?
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Ur playing hard 2 get
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: im nt playing. I am hard 2 get
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: U strung me along. Teasing me.....
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: I did nt
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Not on purpose mayb. But u practically begged me 2 come after u
kittykat>xxcooljayxx: Wat? Did nt
xxcooljayxx>kittykat: Huh. no wat? Ur