The Complete Works of William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare (book suggestions TXT) 📖

mouth full of news.

CELIA. Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.

ROSALIND. Then shall we be news-cramm’d.

CELIA. All the better; we shall be the more marketable. Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau. What’s the news?

LE BEAU. Fair Princess, you have lost much good sport.

CELIA. Sport! of what colour?

LE BEAU. What colour, madam? How shall I answer you?

ROSALIND. As wit and fortune will.

TOUCHSTONE. Or as the Destinies decrees.

CELIA. Well said; that was laid on with a trowel.

TOUCHSTONE. Nay, if I keep not my rank—

ROSALIND. Thou losest thy old smell.

LE BEAU. You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.

ROSALIND. Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.

LE BEAU. I will tell you the beginning, and, if it please your ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is yet to do; and here, where you are, they are coming to perform it.

CELIA. Well, the beginning, that is dead and buried.

LE BEAU. There comes an old man and his three sons-CELIA. I could match this beginning with an old tale.

LE BEAU. Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence.

ROSALIND. With bills on their necks: ‘Be it known unto all men by these presents’-

LE BEAU. The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the Duke’s wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke three of his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him. So he serv’d the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man, their father, making such pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take his part with weeping.

ROSALIND. Alas!

TOUCHSTONE. But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?

LE BEAU. Why, this that I speak of.

TOUCHSTONE. Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.

CELIA. Or I, I promise thee.

ROSALIND. But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?

LE BEAU. You must, if you stay here; for here is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.

CELIA. Yonder, sure, they are coming. Let us now stay and see it.

 

Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, LORDS, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and ATTENDANTS

 

FREDERICK. Come on; since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.

ROSALIND. Is yonder the man?

LE BEAU. Even he, madam.

CELIA. Alas, he is too young; yet he looks successfully.

FREDERICK. How now, daughter and cousin! Are you crept hither to see the wrestling?

ROSALIND. Ay, my liege; so please you give us leave.

FREDERICK. You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger’s youth I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you can move him.

CELIA. Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.

FREDERICK. Do so; I’ll not be by.

[DUKE FREDERICK goes apart]

LE BEAU. Monsieur the Challenger, the Princess calls for you.

ORLANDO. I attend them with all respect and duty.

ROSALIND. Young man, have you challeng’d Charles the wrestler?

ORLANDO. No, fair Princess; he is the general challenger. I come but in, as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.

CELIA. Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years.

You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength; if you saw yourself with your eyes, or knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.

ROSALIND. Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore be misprised: we will make it our suit to the Duke that the wrestling might not go forward.

ORLANDO. I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts, wherein I confess me much guilty to deny so fair and excellent ladies any thing. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial; wherein if I be foil’d there is but one sham’d that was never gracious; if kill’d, but one dead that is willing to be so. I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me; the world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in the world I fill up a place, which may be better supplied when I have made it empty.

ROSALIND. The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.

CELIA. And mine to eke out hers.

ROSALIND. Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceiv’d in you!

CELIA. Your heart’s desires be with you!

CHARLES. Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth?

ORLANDO. Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.

FREDERICK. You shall try but one fall.

CHARLES. No, I warrant your Grace, you shall not entreat him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.

ORLANDO. You mean to mock me after; you should not have mock’d me before; but come your ways.

ROSALIND. Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man!

CELIA. I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg. [They wrestle]

ROSALIND. O excellent young man!

CELIA. If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should down.

[CHARLES is thrown. Shout]

FREDERICK. No more, no more.

ORLANDO. Yes, I beseech your Grace; I am not yet well breath’d.

FREDERICK. How dost thou, Charles?

LE BEAU. He cannot speak, my lord.

FREDERICK. Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?

ORLANDO. Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.

FREDERICK. I would thou hadst been son to some man else.

The world esteem’d thy father honourable, But I did find him still mine enemy.

Thou shouldst have better pleas’d me with this deed, Hadst thou descended from another house.

But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth; I would thou hadst told me of another father.

Exeunt DUKE, train, and LE BEAU

CELIA. Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

ORLANDO. I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son, His youngest son-and would not change that calling To be adopted heir to Frederick.

ROSALIND. My father lov’d Sir Rowland as his soul, And all the world was of my father’s mind; Had I before known this young man his son, I should have given him tears unto entreaties Ere he should thus have ventur’d.

CELIA. Gentle cousin,

Let us go thank him, and encourage him; My father’s rough and envious disposition Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserv’d; If you do keep your promises in love

But justly as you have exceeded all promise, Your mistress shall be happy.

ROSALIND. Gentleman, [Giving him a chain from her neck]

Wear this for me; one out of suits with fortune, That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.

Shall we go, coz?

CELIA. Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.

ORLANDO. Can I not say ‘I thank you’? My better parts Are all thrown down; and that which here stands up Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.

ROSALIND. He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes; I’ll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?

Sir, you have wrestled well, and overthrown More than your enemies.

CELIA. Will you go, coz?

ROSALIND. Have with you. Fare you well.

Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA ORLANDO. What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?

I cannot speak to her, yet she urg’d conference.

O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!

Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.

 

Re-enter LE BEAU

 

LE BEAU. Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you To leave this place. Albeit you have deserv’d High commendation, true applause, and love, Yet such is now the Duke’s condition

That he misconstrues all that you have done.

The Duke is humorous; what he is, indeed, More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.

ORLANDO. I thank you, sir; and pray you tell me this: Which of the two was daughter of the Duke That here was at the wrestling?

LE BEAU. Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners; But yet, indeed, the smaller is his daughter; The other is daughter to the banish’d Duke, And here detain’d by her usurping uncle, To keep his daughter company; whose loves Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.

But I can tell you that of late this Duke Hath ta’en displeasure ‘gainst his gentle niece, Grounded upon no other argument

But that the people praise her for her virtues And pity her for her good father’s sake; And, on my life, his malice ‘gainst the lady Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.

Hereafter, in a better world than this, I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.

ORLANDO. I rest much bounden to you; fare you well.

Exit LE BEAU

Thus must I from the smoke into the smother; From tyrant Duke unto a tyrant brother.

But heavenly Rosalind! Exit

SCENE III.

The DUKE’s palace

 

Enter CELIA and ROSALIND

 

CELIA. Why, cousin! why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy!

Not a word?

ROSALIND. Not one to throw at a dog.

CELIA. No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon curs; throw some of them at me; come, lame me with reasons.

ROSALIND. Then there were two cousins laid up, when the one should be lam’d with reasons and the other mad without any.

CELIA. But is all this for your father?

ROSALIND. No, some of it is for my child’s father. O, how full of briers is this working-day world!

CELIA. They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in holiday foolery; if we walk not in the trodden paths, our very petticoats will catch them.

ROSALIND. I could shake them off my coat: these burs are in my heart.

CELIA. Hem them away.

ROSALIND. I would try, if I could cry ‘hem’ and have him.

CELIA. Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.

ROSALIND. O, they take the part of a better wrestler than myself.

CELIA. O, a good wish upon you! You will try in time, in despite of a fall. But, turning these jests out of service, let us talk in good earnest. Is it possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland’s youngest son?

ROSALIND. The Duke my father lov’d his father dearly.

CELIA. Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son dearly?

By this kind of chase I should hate him, for my father hated his father dearly; yet I hate not Orlando.

ROSALIND. No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.

CELIA. Why should I not? Doth he not deserve well?

 

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with LORDS

 

ROSALIND. Let me love him for that; and do you love him because I do. Look, here comes the Duke.

CELIA. With his eyes full of anger.

FREDERICK. Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste, And get you from our court.

ROSALIND. Me, uncle?

FREDERICK. You, cousin.

Within these ten days if that thou beest found So near our public court as twenty miles, Thou diest for it.

ROSALIND. I do beseech your Grace,

Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me.

If with myself I hold intelligence,

Or have acquaintance with mine own desires; If that I do not dream, or be not frantic-As I do trust I am not-then, dear uncle, Never