The Bad Few Season 1 by Tai Goodman (old books to read .txt) 📖

back to adoption!" John said sarcastically.

Tai turned around, with one finger up, and said, "You see, I don't like that, you gay fish."

Malle grinned. "Gay fish?" she thought in her head.

 

"Boy I'm straighten you out!" 

 

"That's what she said," Tai called out.

 

"Why don't we play a game up here? We got all this room to run around... or we have this entire loop up here," John implied. "Just in time! I just got an idea, we are all citizens, and Austin is a leper with ebola!" Tai came up with.

This game was played all day, and at the very end, everybody lined up at the door to leave. And Tai had something that he never noticed until his friends pointed it out.

 

Tai approached Malle and the rest. "So, you ready for theatre, cause I'm not?"

Malle looked down and said, "GOD, TAI! WHAT THE HELL?"

 

"What?"

 

"Your hand's bleeding!"

 

Tai looked down and saw his hand covered in blood. "Oh. Alrighty. I'm just gonna tough it out." 

John came over to the group and said, "Whoa, Tai, what cut you?"

 

"I dunno!"

 

"You gonna go see the nurse?"

 

"No, nurses are for p***ies! I'm gonna freaking s-"

 

The blood from his hand dripped all over the floor. "F***, alright we gotta solve this debacle." Tai wiped it all over the wall. "TAI!"

Tai then stuck his hand in his pocket. "Have fun getting that out when you wash it," Austin told him. As they were leaving, Austin tried to get the attention of a coach right outside the door.

"Hey, he needs-"

 

"A LAMBO- shut up AUSTIN!!"

 

Tai sprinted into the theatre room. The average American (naive) human named Mae Mae asked Tai, "WHOA, you alright?" 

"Fine, fine! Nothing to see!"

 

Then Chancey came to the table and joined in. "Tai, dude, go see the nurse." 
"Nope, I've got this all under control!"

Then Mr. Alley entered the classroom and asked, "What's going on?"

 

Tai: "I ended up going to the nurse anyways."

 

THE BAD FEW

Episode 4: Coming Clean

 Tai was walking to biology and all of a sudden, he was stopped by a tall Asian man. "Hey, it's Tai Goodman!"

Tai recognized him and paid no attention.

 

Tai: "That fellow communist is James Kemerait, or Jimmy. He's smart. And a douchebag. There is this thing he tends to do everytime he sees me for now on: Last year in science olympiad, I accidentally called room service and didn't say anything. And apparently they called 911. Now everybody thinks I straight up called 911, which is not true."

 

"Hey guys, DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A STORY?" Jimmy announced to his friends. Tai walked up to Jimmy and informed him, "Jimmy, I got a rep in these streets, don't bring it down a notch by that crap."

 

"-SO WE WERE ON A SCIENCE OLYMPIAD FIELD TRIP.."

 

"MOTHERF-"

 

THE BAD FEW

BY TAI GOODMAN

BASED OFF OF REALITY

 

FIRST PERIOD

 

"Senor Goodman, where do you go to shop?"

Tai searched his memory in his mind. "It's... Sounds like 'ienda' or 'ierda' doesn't it? Wait... That's it! La mierda! The store!"

"La mierda."

 

Mr. Elizalde gave him an odd look. "Wait.. say it one more time?" 

"La. Mierda."

He started laughing. "Spell it." Tai knew he had made a mistake, just not how big. "M-I-E-R-D-A." The teacher just kept on laughing. "Oh... Tai, I don't think you know what you're saying. You mean la tienda?"

 

"Wait... What does la tienda mean?"

"The market."

 

Tai: "SO I used Google Translate, turns out that if you plug in the words, it's: 'I go to shop at the sh**.' Yes, mierda means sh**."

 

John had been stopped at the door of Mrs. Garrick's classroom. "Hey there, John. Question, why'd you turn in your science paper and not your 6 paragraphs?" John pursed his lips and said, "Ooh... Umm... I might have switched up the papers." She handed it back to him as he entered. "WAIT-"

Meanwhile, Mrs. Marzen, the biology teacher, was reading his 6 paragraphs. "TRUMP SUPPORTER? That little RAT!" John pictured it all in his own head. "Oof."

 

Gabriel, however, was not having the time of his life in a class that could benefit his life, Geometry A. "Alright class, so get out your protractor and find the degrees of this angle. Do number 1, 2, and 4. Skip number 3."

 

Gabriel used his protractor and found the angle measurements of each one. 

 

Gabriel: "This is too easy. Give me something hard."

 

Gabriel received a sheet with a problem on it involving several angle measurements. 

 

Gabriel: "I shouldn't have jinxed it."

 

HOMEROOM

Tai sat down his stuff to figure out two senior ambassadors were leading the lesson today. One of which, Tai knew, but didn't recognize him from the present tense to the past. "Hi everybody, I'm Jared!"

"And I'm Cathy! We're your student ambassadors for this year in homeroom. So basically, in case you don't get it, we will be creating and giving you new activities in homeroom. So here's one: We will throw around a ball, we will play music, and the last person to have it when it goes off must say something about themselves. If other people have that thing in common, then they stand up. And they throw it around. Easy peasy!"

Tai: "I swear to god if that ball hits me in the head, somebody's leg isn't gonna be connected anymore."

 

 Tai caught the ball and the music stopped. "Umm...

 

I have a pair of feet."

 

And later on, it happened again.

 

Tai caught the ball and said, 

"I am a human."

 

Tai: "Why couldn't I come up with anything else? Because half the stuff that is good about me, most of the people in here DO NOT have. I mean, 1/5 of the guys in here are in advanced math or over. I fall into the 1/5, so I'm lucky. The other 4/5 have below 60 averages. It's a sad day in the world when you just can't pay attention in class."

 

FOURTH PERIOD

 

Tai entered the classroom and sat down his stuff. On the board, it read, "Open your Chromebooks, and get on Google Classroom for a quiz over Marigolds!" Tai shook his head. "Dear Christ."

 

Tai: "How do you expect your class to remember a story with 68 paragraphs? I'm not gonna tell you my score but I'll give you a hint, it's Topher Grace's age right now."

 

Malle: "I made a 70 by guessing. It's the pure strategy."

 

John: "I read it and got an 80."

 

Jacob: "I didn't even take it yet!"

 

Then after all of the tests were turned in, Mrs. Garrick had a speech of lecture for the entire class. "This is-"

 

Tai: "Alright so I told the guys filming this to cut that part, because that took about 30 minutes. Let me put her speech into five words: That was absolutely unacceptable crap."

 

LUNCHTIME

 

"I gotta admit, I'm beginning to hate this school," Tai informed his squad. John shrugged and said, "Well hey, you feel what you wanna feel. Anyways, have you guys heard of the PSATs?"

"The PTSD's?"

Malle shook her head in disappointment. "Taaaiii... DO YOU EVEN KNOW what PTSD even stands for?" Tai just sat there thinking of random things that could fill in the blanks. "I know it's post-traumatic stress disorder.. But nah, I ain't gonna say that, because that's not funny." 

Tai answered her question with: "Is it Prison Transmitted Sexual Disease?"

The entire table laughed. "P-PRISON? WHA-AHAHAHAHAH! And here I thought you Asians were supposed to be smart!"

 

"Yeah, we are, unlike you." Malle stopped laughing instantly and put on a straight face. "Oh yeah, what the hell's wrong with white people? Are they NOT?"

Tai grinned and looked into the camera.

 

Tai: "Nah. Because here's the pie chart for smart people, from my mind: 50 percent of Americans are white, 25 percent are African American, 24 percent are Hispanic, and that one percent is the Asian. In Britain, I bet nobody fails their classes. In this country, I bet my house that there are more than 50 students who have more than 2 failing grades."

 

Malle: "I'm not actually from America, I came from Quebec, Canada. It was annoying though, because all we heard was French speaking people. That's not why we came here, but we made a great choice coming here. And now I regret it. Here's a rundown of the guys in the group:

 

Tai is the Asian off-brand Harry Potter who isn't stupid but acts stupid.

Jacob is the skinny Fortnite addict.

Jesse is the obese Fortnite addict.

John takes nothing seriously half the time, and when he does is when he gets mad.

Austin Young is not funny at all and makes stupidass jokes.

Dylan, my boyfriend, is smart. But is also part Austin.

And then Daniel "Austin" Dawley is about the same as Tai, except he's not Asian.

 

Then here I am, and I'll admit I'm not that smart. And I act like it. My greatest asset, right there."

 

"Hey, Jesse, look over here at my fort!" Jacob told Jesse while playing on Fortnite. "Boy, you gonna get wrecked!"

Tai snatched his phone and threw it deep into the commons. "DUDE! WHAT THE F***? THAT WAS MY F***ING PHONE YOU F***ING PIECE OF F***ING SH**! That's it! TEACHER! HE JUST THREW MY PHONE!"

 

Tai was sitting there laughing. "WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT? YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT GODDAMN PHONE, YOU ASSHOLE!"

"It's that you actually thought I threw your phone, are you kidding me?"

The phone slid onto the table and out of Tai's sleeve. "How- How'd you do that? I saw it flying, though!"

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve, like your phone."

 

"You son of a bitch, you better not do that again!" Jacob threatened him. Tai shook his head and said, "Alright, let's do it again."

"WHAT THE HELL- NO! You scared the f*** outta me!"

Austin Young started playing the DOOM soundtrack on his phone, out loud. Tai smiled, pointed at Austin, and said, "Austin, turn that crap off."

"Austin!"
"DUDE, TURN IT OFF!"

"Nobody wants to hear that sh**!"

 

Austin: "What? Doom's a great game!"

 

Tai: "So.. you told me he said Doom was a great game. RIGHT. But what he didn't know was that nobody wants to hear the retro soundtrack on repeat for 10 minutes."

 

Tai leaned forwards in all serious and yelled, "Austin, if you don't quit, your mother's in danger." Austin pressed the volume up button on his phone. "Alright, so let's vote: All in favor of banishing Austin, say Aye!"

 

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye-BALL."

 

"Great. Happy trails!"

Austin: "Yeah, I had to sit in the corner for the rest of lunch."

 

"Malle's like a brick, she's solid, boring, and flat on both sides!" Jacob roasted her.

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!" went the entire table (not including Malle).

 Then the whole room went, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!"

 

Tai: "This monstrosity you just saw there, that's happened twice now. And it's the exact same thing that happens when one person starts clapping, or fighting."

 

SIXTH PERIOD

 

Tai: "So let me give you a rundown of what happened, Chancey was bugging the f*** outta me because I had a plan to ask out Malle. I have a pre-planned but unsent email ready to send on September 16th, random date. And then I was telling Chancey, and she started to talk to me during Julia's demonstration of a monologue. Then she stole my Chromebook for a few seconds. And I went to plan B. Plan B took 4 seconds to come up with. All because of that blonde slut."

 

"NO WE AREN'T DOING THIS NOW!" Tai scolded her. Chancey stole Tai's chromebook and showed her the pre-email.

 

Tai: "UH-OH, RETARD ALERT!"

 

 "BULLSH**- I MEAN, GABE! Let's go outside and practice the