A small tear relieves a great sorrow by Sydnie Short (best book clubs txt) 📖

thought to myself. I didn't listen to myself. I slowly slide the blade up my arm only because it’s deadlier. People who cut there wrists aren't suicidal, that’s not even dangerous. When you cut up your arm is harmful. I let the blood drip on the floor. My head slammed against the wall and slid down to the floor. I pressed my head against the wall and closed my eyes taking in the pain. The door slammed open and I saw a blurry figure. Then everything went black.


Everything I see is white. Am in heaven? Then a black figure movied close to me. As the figure cam closer I began to see a face. It looked like a nurse. I blinked a couple of times and everything became clear. I was in a hospital. I looked around the room and I spotted a window. I looked up to see the night sky. "Madison how are you feeling?" The nurse asked. I tried to speak but I felt dryness in my throat.

"Water" I managed to say. She left the room. I'm assuming she went to get me some water. I laid my head back and stared at the ceiling. Then reality hit me. A soon as I realized the situation I was in I started to panic. I felt my hands trembling and my heart racing. I was starting to panic so I unhooked all the wires that were connected to my body. I quickly got off the bed and made it out the door. I looked both ways into the hallway as I stepped out. I noticed the nurse at the water jugs talking. So I went the other way. Some nurse.

I power walked with my strength still feeling weak. When I made it to the lobby I notice Obadiah sleeping on the chairs. The Receptionist wasn't at the door so I made a run for hoping not to wake Obadiah. 
He looked so peaceful when he slept but he is a monster in reality. I can’t believe I dated this guy.

As soon as I stepped outside the cool night air wrapped out my body. I looked around at my surroundings and I noticed a forest and with out thinking I started to walk towards it.

The forest was the best choice because I could get spotted in the city. I’m not using my head I’m just going by instincts.

I didn't think about any animals that will harm me. All I was thinking about was getting home safely. Before I noticed I was deep in the forest. I went in a straight path trying hard not to get lost.

'Snap'

I stopped as soon as I heard the noise. I listened very closely for any more movements. I looked all around the forest in a circle. Nothing was there so I started to run. There was a pain in my foot. I noticed I was bare footed. The bottoms of my feet were covered in blood probably due to the entire running.

I thought I heard someone call my name so I started to run faster. Faster, Faster, Faster.  I said motivating myself.

I stopped to catch my breath behind a big tree. I turned around and in the distance I saw Obadiah. I started to run again but quicker. Ignoring the pain on my bare feet. I couldn’t stop no matter what. 
I think I lost him. I did what my parents told me to do when some one was following you: go in circles for a while.

The sound of car horns and people yelling filled my ears. The City. I ran toward the bright lights without looking back hoping on one leg. It is extremely difficult to run as fast as you can with an injury.


I walked into the nearest store and it happened to be a gas station. The owner gave me a crazy look probably because of my appearance but if he knew my situation he wouldn’t. I looked all around and spotted a clocked. It was 2am. I reached in my back pocket and I had a five-dollar bill deep in my back pocket. I went into the refrigerator. I got out a can of 'Mucho Mango'. I went to the cashier to pay for my drink. As soon as I paid for it I opened it. Right when I was about to ask the cashier if I could use his phone Obadiah walked in. My heart began racing again. My brain won’t stop pounding from my frustration. I had to hide from him. I went behind an isle watching him. He went toward the back of the store. I think he is looking for me. When he wasn’t looking I made a fun for the door.

 I ran for my life. My stupid life like I would never live again. A familiar street appeared and it happened to be the street of my house. 
I've never been happier to see my house.

Chapter 7 Abuse

Chapter 7



Everyone was asleep so it was easy to sneak in. I walked upstairs to my room. After a while on debating on going to sleep or to stay up, I decided to sleep.
I woke up dreading the day I really do not want to go to school. I dragged myself out of bed anyway. I walk to the bathroom looking like a zombie. After I freshen up I left the bathroom and walked to my room. I really do not know what to wear so I just put anything on. It was 7:32 and I really did not care if I was late for school.
I didn't notice mom dad wasn't home so I left. It seems as if that they are ignoring me, but right now I don't care. I guess I don't care about anything right now.

As soon as I walk through the door I realize it's not safe for me to walk outside. So I got my phone and called Timothy. I asked him if he can give me a ride to school and he agreed. I waited outside for Timothy he came 5 minutes later. I assume he lives near me. The car ride was silence but I didn't feel like talking so I just stared out the window. We made it to the school parking lot without talking at all. It was a little awkward. 
I walked through the hallways by myself because Timothy had to go to class. Everyone's eyes were on me. I didn't think I look that bad. I made it to my locker but only to be greeted by Vergina Grace.


'' Hello Miss S.T.D''


'' How many times I told you Satin, I already gave my life to Christ'' I replied with a smirk.


'' Yeah but I'm sure he rejected you''


'' Listen Vergina I am not in the mood for your games'' I said dropping my smirk to a frown. Now I feel sad but not because of what she said. She looked like she was about to say something but I didn't stay to hear it. I walked off to class not caring about a thing in the world.


 


School went by like a breeze. Nobody paid attention to me it seems as if I was a ghost.

'' Hey Madison '' Timothy said.


'' Hi’’ I said quietly staring at the ground. He took his thumb and lifted up my chin up.

'' You want to hang out after school.''


"Sure.'' With that he walked me to his car. I was about three feet behind him. Until I was dragged into a corner. My mouth was covered by a cold hard hand. They had a firm grip around my waist causing me not to move.

'' If you ever tell anybody about what happened I will kill you'' I gasped when I realize who it was. He's then let me go and I ran to the car with Timothy. My heart was racing fast I just couldn't think straight. I don't think Timothy noticed my panting because he kept his mouth shut with his eyes on the road.


*****


I walk into my front door but there was only silence. I was about to walk up the stairs but then the living room lamp turned on. My father was sitting on the couch with a bottle of alcohol in his hand.

'' Where have you been?'' my father asked


'' Hello to you, too. I was with a friend''

He got off the couch and walked closer to me. I took a few steps back until I hit the walls. Now he was only inches away from me. He looked angry but then he took a sip of his alcohol. He stared into my eyes without saying anything. I didn't know what he's going to do. He put the bottle of alcohol down on the table and our eyes met again. Before I realized, his hand was in the air getting ready to hit me. It all happened fast. All I did was stand there in shock. But my father didn't stop there. He punched me in my stomach causing me to fall to the ground. I moaned out in pain. I lay on my side wrapping my arms around my stomach but he continued to kick me. He picked me off the ground but then he punched me in my face. I felt liquid streaming down my face. My face was throbbing in pain. My knee begins to wobble and I couldn't stand any longer. I finally broke down on the ground curling up into a ball. Then my father picked up his alcohol bottle and walked away mumbling something under his breath. Something likes ' teach you for sassing me'. Even being abused by my father didn't make me cry. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. What's confusing me the most is that my father never hit me. 



* Two weeks later*



I'm afraid to sleep or even live in this house. Since the day my father hit me he's been doing it frequently now. If he senses a hint of rudeness in my tone he would hurt me. My mom noticed the bruises on my skin but didn't care. She just went on with her life ignoring me. I haven't talked to anyone lately I have been hiding myself from the world. Timothy just gave up after I was pushed him away. I really just wanted to be alone. I haven't smiled in a while it seems I have haven't had fun or laughed too. This is why I hate my life. 

My head was pounding. I really couldn't think straight. Terrible thoughts roamed my mind. I want to hurt myself just to relieve the pain I feel. Here I am curled up in a ball in my bed just thinking. For me thinking is dangerous these days. I attempted suicide seven times but I was always found before I could slip away. Its like God doesn't want me to die. I am left in this world with nothing but pain and sadness. Everyday I drag my body on a bit just to continue this stupid life I live. The fact that I just feel like giving up makes me depressed even more. It's not like me to feel this way. I used to be outgoing and used to love life. I