Suddenly it became a man by Daniel Scott (book club books .txt) 📖

comfort, the sight of the wet ground, wind battered bushes, trees and rain wet tarmac left a dire chill inside me.

It was a big Edwardian house with lots of room, fully furnished and lived in. It belonged to a family who owned a number of properties in the area and abroad. They let this little number out seasonally and from the window I could tell why.

A high view like this one on a clear night would be astounding.

The crocodile dream was born the night I spent in Ben’s spare room, after my brush with death, grew in obscurity and persistence and followed me here.

Benjamin’s sympathy ran its course when I arrived here at my new lodgings but the dreams continued, they were dreadful, confusing dreams but not nightmares exactly.

They all start when I answer a knock at the bedroom door in the dream.

As I’m opening it the crocodile tries to rush in snapping its savage jaws but I close it on its head in time to stop its wriggling body from getting in.

A short fight later with the door wedged on its wild head the croc realises its stuck and starts talking, trying to convince me that it had calmed down, that it was a joke and that I should let it in before “it’s too late”.

The dreams varied slightly but every one I had had that crocodile in it, I didn’t know what the relevance was.

What confused me more was that I never dreamt of the man who claimed to be Tomas Baker. No nightmares, no momentary flash backs. I couldn’t for the life of me remember anything about how he looked, except that he had horrible eyes. I spent hours in the day, days at a time trying to visualise him but nothing ever came and what frustrated and provoked me was that I knew I could, deep down in the pit of my stomach I was sure I recognised him from somewhere else beside the roadside bar and Ben’s car but where?

All the people I had met over the years in plays and interviews and nights out clouded any semblance of an idea I might have with jumbled and threatening memories and abstract images, no sounds just noises, yellow teeth and blurred faces.

 

I told Benjamin what happened that night in his car under strict warning.

Knowing the maniac had stalked me using elaborate disguises and that he now knew more about me than I’d ever of told him disturbed me, in so much that the incident became a matter of secrecy between us, even the name Tom Baker was taboo outside of our confidence.

We decided not to contact the police with our new information about the case they were working on even though I was clearly still a suspect in it.

An odd man had taken to reading magazines outside Ben’s place while I was there, nothing wrong with that of course.  

Ben as usual suspected nothing of the man but both agreed to let police do their job, there was no sense in risking the safety of our brains to help them.

We were sure they’d catch him soon enough, until then it pleased me on one level that I was being followed as I could never again be sure that that monster wasn’t cleverly hidden among those who surrounded me, listening in wait with his hammer the moment I chanced to break my promise.

Then it’d be the photos in my wallet being ogled at by the next hapless passer-by who kindly befriends him, having no clue he’s about to be spouting gratitude to no end face down in a ditch somewhere getting his head smacked in and wearing a trouser load of his own facieses.

 

Needless to say after that night at the police station and restaurant car park I cancelled my reservation at the hotel and relocated.

In doing so I came away incurring a horrific cancellation bill and another by the same hefty standard for the door to my room the police smashed off its hinges.

Incredibly those two bits of paper were enough to temporarily poison the relief I felt; after reading the grand total I had to be reminded of how fortunate I was to be alive.

Ben adamantly stated at the time “Better this price than the other” and I agreed because it wasn’t hard to imagine.

I won Ben over to the nature of the man he met, a maniac who masqueraded as his victims wasn’t hard at first in fact it was easy.

Although after finding me the house I now occupied which wasn’t far from the movie set he seemed to stop sharing or understanding my fear.

The out of town movie set I had to drive to each morning hid within the confines of private land owned by private people offering privacy, the first day there provided manic distraction from my woes and unyielding pressure from the start.

Action.

They shot every scene I featured in four times, two of the takes at same angles the rest captured creative background subversion from the scripted word.

Through the course of the day the cast murmured recent deaths linked with my leaked arrest, had caused a media frenzy and in a cynical and suggestive way placed responsibility for the recent increased financial interest in the films publicity rights generated on it.

I heard two ask each other if it was right to make money that way.

No one who didn’t need to or want to know about my arrest spoke a word to me. suddenly all I could think about was Tom and his killer while a voice inside insisted I was being watched.

After Ben moved me in close by he told me I’d stay there till the films finality, then took leave to support his other not so neurotic but just as needy clients, like Reece.C.Brook; a snooker hall old boy, a veteran player of the game and twice professional champion of the sport.

He had clients all over the county, actors, sports personalities and a certain beautiful musician, called Lorna Robin.

 

The instant I saw Lorna Robin I fell forever in love.

Years ago the residents of a huge house were hosting a wine and cheese party, it was in a rich and reputable area full of dukes and lords.

The cheese some nibbled, some scoffed, eyes open, eyes shut, some wiggled their fingers close to their heads like antenna to detect emergent flavours, they were all probably very smart people but they looked absolutely stupid.

Others with the fine whites and reds announced their fascination, confounded by the beauty of the art in the room.

I didn’t know anyone except the man who brought me there Benjamin Stanes, who was getting drunk and causing me to almost chase him as he kept wondering off for more wine.

‘Ben relax on the wine okay? I get the feeling the next time you go back to that table men are going to carry you out by the arms.’

Ben winked, and put his hand on my shoulder as he always did when he’d had one too many.

‘There is someone you to have to meet, follow me’

Ben led me out of the main room and along a hall to a set of thick wooden double doors. He pulled one open wide enough to fit comfortably through and the sound of music flooded out into the hall.

‘Ben is this really okay? It sounds like they’re practicing’

Ben’s expression changed suddenly euphoric, carried off by the music that resonated in the room he danced into it, a little annoyed I gingerly followed him in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter eight: Love

 

 

Then I saw her, she was sitting on the lap of the neat, short skirted and very impressionable Katrina Harris, playing a violin and laughing at Ben.

She looked like she weighed nothing, overwhelmed by Lorna’s stunning beauty my lips gave up words that drummed in my heart with emotion spilling over, they should have been inaudible but the music had stopped.

‘You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen’

Then Katrina with an all pleasing infectious smile, devastated me

‘Why thank you, how kind. Lorna did you hear him? He said I was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen’

In an ideal world I would have corrected her there and then but instead agonisingly let the moment pass.

‘Benjamin is this snake charmer your friend?’

‘I am, pleased to meet you Miss?’

‘Robin, and this is Miss Harris’

We all spoke with each other a while in the room away from everyone else sharing drinks and laughter but I couldn’t enjoy it the way they were, I was too full of anxiety and want for Lorna’s magnificent attention.

Before I knew it Ben was leading me out to talk with someone else, it was torture to leave. The whole night I kept bothering him to go back to them, I even went as far as to infer that Katrina was flirting with him in hope he fancied her, even though she had blatantly kept at me the entire time, putting her hands on me and sitting close with her half naked legs against mine.

All I wanted was Lorna, Ben was oblivious to it and he had her ear the whole time. It began to annoy me how easily he made her laugh with his stupidity and that I was unable to speak a word for what the sight and sound of her did to me.  

 

On the night of that cheese party Ben offered to drive me home after labouring back to his car like newborn calf.

I decided no and shut him into a taxi and I drove myself, and crashed.

The accident left me with server whiplash, which is the reason why I was in hospital more than two years ago, making a friend of the hammer wielding maniac that now stalked me.

Although on that night after the crash I didn’t go to the hospital, I went back to the party.

I took a taxi for most of the way and walked the rest, I didn’t want it to seem too deliberate, but after seeing Lorna, I had to see her again.

The door was open as the last guests were leaving, one  as he passed saw the red bruising on my face took me for a whiskey man and gave me a cheerful nod.

The door was open it was rude, but I just walked in.

The place was already being cleaned by hired professionals all vacuums, brushes, plastic gloves and black bin bags.

I wondered through unchallenged to the double doors of room I met her in and waited, listening, finally thinking about what I was going to say.

Then I heard a voice, drunk and provokingly familiar, then Lorna’s, it was an argument of some kind.

‘Just leave’ she said.

‘Come on’ I heard him urge

‘I said leave’

‘What is it?’

It was escalating with hostility in both of them, I felt adrenaline surge into me, charged I wanted to storm in.

‘Ben get the hell out right now’

It couldn’t have been my Ben.

‘I’m not leaving I can’t, I don’t want to’

‘Ben…’

 ‘You’re a beautiful women’

After listening intently, I had to admit to myself that the mans voice was Ben’s but I’d never heard it so out of character.

Getting rid of me and coming back here alone must have been his intention from the start.

I felt betrayed.

‘Ben my brothers are in the other room, will you please go?’

‘Yes this was obviously a