Rilla of Ingleside by Lucy Maud Montgomery (13 ebook reader .txt) đ
- Author: Lucy Maud Montgomery
- Performer: 1594624275
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âThe last evening of his leave Fred came up to Ingleside and told me he loved me and asked me if I would promise to marry him some day, if he ever came back. He was desperately in earnest and I felt more wretched than I ever did in my life. I couldnât promise him thatâwhy, even if there was no question of Ken, I donât care for Fred that way and never couldâbut it seemed so cruel and heartless to send him away to the front without any hope of comfort. I cried like a baby; and yetâoh, I am afraid that there must be something incurably frivolous about me, because, right in the middle of it all, with me crying and Fred looking so wild and tragic, the thought popped into my head that it would be an unendurable thing to see that nose across from me at the breakfast table every morning of my life. There, that is one of the entries I wouldnât want my descendants to read in this journal. But it is the humiliating truth; and perhaps itâs just as well that thought did come or I might have been tricked by pity and remorse into giving him some rash assurance. If Fredâs nose were as handsome as his eyes and mouth some such thing might have happened. And then what an unthinkable predicament I should have been in!
âWhen poor Fred became convinced that I couldnât promise him, he behaved beautifullyâthough that rather made things worse. If he had been nasty about it I wouldnât have felt so heartbroken and remorsefulâthough why I should feel remorseful I donât know, for I never encouraged Fred to think I cared a bit about him. Yet feel remorseful I didâand do. If Fred Arnold never comes back from overseas, this will haunt me all my life.
âThen Fred said if he couldnât take my love with him to the trenches at least he wanted to feel that he had my friendship, and would I kiss him just once in goodbye before he wentâperhaps for ever?
âI donât know how I could ever had imagined that love affairs were delightful, interesting things. They are horrible. I couldnât even give poor heartbroken Fred one little kiss, because of my promise to Ken. It seemed so brutal. I had to tell Fred that of course he would have my friendship, but that I couldnât kiss him because I had promised somebody else I wouldnât.
âHe said, âIt isâis itâKen Ford?â
âI nodded. It seemed dreadful to have to tell itâit was such a sacred little secret just between me and Ken.
âWhen Fred went away I came up here to my room and cried so long and so bitterly that mother came up and insisted on knowing what was the matter. I told her. She listened to my tale with an expression that clearly said, âCan it be possible that anyone has been wanting to marry this baby?â But she was so nice and understanding and sympathetic, oh, just so race-of-Josephyâthat I felt indescribably comforted. Mothers are the dearest things.
ââBut oh, mother,â I sobbed, âhe wanted me to kiss him goodbyeâand I couldnâtâand that hurt me worse than all the rest.â
ââWell, why didnât you kiss him?â asked mother coolly. âConsidering the circumstances, I think you might have.â
ââBut I couldnât, motherâI promised Ken when he went away that I wouldnât kiss anybody else until he came back.â
âThis was another high explosive for poor mother. She exclaimed, with the queerest little catch in her voice, âRilla, are you engaged to Kenneth Ford?â
ââIâdonâtâknow,â I sobbed.
ââYouâdonâtâknow?â repeated mother.
âThen I had to tell her the whole story, too; and every time I tell it it seems sillier and sillier to imagine that Ken meant anything serious. I felt idiotic and ashamed by the time I got through.
âMother sat a little while in silence. Then she came over, sat down beside me, and took me in her arms.
ââDonât cry, dear little Rilla-my-Rilla. You have nothing to reproach yourself with in regard to Fred; and if Leslie Westâs son asked you to keep your lips for him, I think you may consider yourself engaged to him. Butâoh, my babyâmy last little babyâI have lost youâthe war has made a woman of you too soon.â
âI shall never be too much of a woman to find comfort in motherâs hugs. Nevertheless, when I saw Fred marching by two days later in the parade, my heart ached unbearably.
âBut Iâm glad mother thinks Iâm really engaged to Ken!â
âIt is two years tonight since the dance at the light, when Jack Elliott brought us news of the war. Do you remember, Miss Oliver?â
Cousin Sophia answered for Miss Oliver. âOh, indeed, Rilla, I remember that evening only too well, and you a-prancing down here to show off your party clothes. Didnât I warn you that we could not tell what was before us? Little did you think that night what was before you.â
âLittle did any of us think that,â said Susan sharply, ânot being gifted with the power of prophecy. It does not require any great foresight, Sophia Crawford, to tell a body that she will have some trouble before her life is over. I could do as much myself.â
âWe all thought the war would be over in a few months then,â said Rilla wistfully. âWhen I look back it seems so ridiculous that we ever could have supposed it.â
âAnd now, two years later, it is no nearer the end than it was then,â said Miss Oliver gloomily.
Susan clicked her knitting-needles briskly.
âNow, Miss Oliver, dear, you know that is not a reasonable remark. You know we are just two years nearer the end, whenever the end is appointed to be.â
âAlbert read in a Montreal paper today that a war expert gives it as his opinion that it will last five years more,â was Cousin Sophiaâs cheerful contribution.
âIt canât,â cried Rilla; then she added with a sigh, âTwo years ago we would have said âIt canât last two years.â But five more years of this!â
âIf Rumania comes in, as I have strong hopes now of her doing, you will see the end in five months instead of five years,â said Susan.
âIâve no faith in furriners,â sighed Cousin Sophia.
âThe French are foreigners,â retorted Susan, âand look at Verdun. And think of all the Somme victories this blessed summer. The Big Push is on and the Russians are still going well. Why, General Haig says that the German officers he has captured admit that they have lost the war.â
âYou canât believe a word the Germans say,â protested Cousin Sophia. âThere is no sense in believing a thing just because youâd like to believe it, Susan Baker. The British have lost millions of men at the Somme and how far have they got? Look facts in the face, Susan Baker, look facts in the face.â
âThey are wearing the Germans out and so long as that happens it does not matter whether it is done a few miles east or a few miles west. I am not,â admitted Susan in tremendous humility, âI am not a military expert, Sophia Crawford, but even I can see that, and so could you if you were not determined to take a gloomy view of everything. The Huns have not got all the cleverness in the world. Have you not heard the story of Alistair MacCallumâs son Roderick, from the Upper Glen? He is a prisoner in Germany and his mother got a letter from him last week. He wrote that he was being very kindly treated and that all the prisoners had plenty of food and so on, till you would have supposed everything was lovely. But when he signed his name, right in between Roderick and MacCallum, he wrote two Gaelic words that meant âall liesâ and the German censor did not understand Gaelic and thought it was all part of Roddyâs name. So he let it pass, never dreaming how he was diddled. Well, I am going to leave the war to Haig for the rest of the day and make a frosting for my chocolate cake. And when it is made I shall put it on the top shelf. The last one I made I left it on the lower shelf and little Kitchener sneaked in and clawed all the icing off and ate it. We had company for tea that night and when I went to get my cake what a sight did I behold!â
âHas that pore orphanâs father never been heerd from yet?â asked Cousin Sophia.
âYes, I had a letter from him in July,â said Rilla. âHe said that when he got word of his wifeâs death and of my taking the babyâMr. Meredith wrote him, you knowâhe wrote right away, but as he never got any answer he had begun to think his letter must have been lost.â
âIt took him two years to begin to think it,â said Susan scornfully. âSome people think very slow. Jim Anderson has not got a scratch, for all he has been two years in the trenches. A fool for luck, as the old proverb says.â
âHe wrote very nicely about Jims and said heâd like to see him,â said Rilla. âSo I wrote and told him all about the wee man, and sent him snapshots. Jims will be two years old next week and he is a perfect duck.â
âYou didnât used to be very fond of babies,â said Cousin Sophia.
âIâm not a bit fonder of babies in the abstract than ever I was,â said Rilla, frankly. âBut I do love Jims, and Iâm afraid I wasnât really half as glad as I should have been when Jim Andersonâs letter proved that he was safe and sound.â
âYou wasnât hoping the man would be killed!â cried Cousin Sophia in horrified accents.
âNoânoâno! I just hoped he would go on forgetting about Jims, Mrs. Crawford.â
âAnd then your pa would have the expense of raising him,â said Cousin Sophia reprovingly. âYou young creeturs are terrible thoughtless.â
Jims himself ran in at this juncture, so rosy and curly and kissable, that he extorted a qualified compliment even from Cousin Sophia.
âHeâs a reel healthy-looking child now, though mebbee his colour is a mite too highâsorter consumptive looking, as you might say. I never thought youâd raise him when I saw him the day after you brung him home. I reely did not think it was in you and I told Albertâs wife so when I got home. Albertâs wife says, says she, âThereâs more in Rilla Blythe than youâd think for, Aunt Sophia.â Them was her very words. âMore in Rilla Blythe than youâd think for.â Albertâs wife always had a good opinion of you.â
Cousin Sophia sighed, as if to imply that Albertâs wife stood alone in this against the world. But Cousin Sophia really did not mean that. She was quite fond of Rilla in her own melancholy way; but young creeturs had to be kept down. If they were not kept down society would be demoralized.
âDo you remember your walk home from the light two years ago tonight?â whispered Gertrude Oliver to Rilla, teasingly.
âI should think I do,â smiled Rilla; and then her smile grew dreamy and absent; she was remembering something elseâthat hour with Kenneth on the sandshore. Where would Ken be tonight? And Jem and Jerry and Walter and all the other boys who had danced and moonlighted on the old Four Winds Point that evening of mirth and laughterâtheir last joyous unclouded evening. In the filthy trenches of the Somme front, with the roar of the guns and the groans of stricken men for
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