Kabumpo in Oz by Ruth Plumly Thompson (elon musk reading list .txt) 📖

working for one, nor digging for one and listening to his foolishness, but nobody can call me an idiot-not even a make-believe King!”

“Oh, you make me tired!” fumed the gnome. “Then go to sleep,” advised the rabbit with a yawn. “What’s the use of trying to pretend you’re a King, Rug? Ho, ho! King over one wooden doll, six rocks and twenty-seven sofa cushions! You may have been a King once, but now you’re just a plain gnome and nothing else, and if you go and sit quietly in your plain rocking chair I’ll bring you a cup of plain mud.”

With a chuckle, the rabbit retired, and Ruggedo, spluttering with fury, flounced into a doll’s broken rocker that was set in the exact center of the cave.

“Here I give that rabbit everything I steal and he won’t even allow me the little luxury of calling him an idiot or of pulling his ears. How can I pretend to be a King without an ear to pull?” grumbled the gnome.

“What are you grinning at?” Bouncing out of his chair, Ruggedo flew at a merry-faced wooden doll who sat propped up against the wall and shook her till her head turned round backwards and her arms and legs flew every which way. Then he hurled her violently into a corner. Quite out of breath he sank back in his chair and stared angrily about.

When Wag returned the gnome snatched the tin cup of melted mud and tossed it down with one gulp. Then, flinging the cup at the doll, he went back to work.

The rabbit shook his head mournfully and, picking up the wooden doll, straightened her out and placed her on a cushion. Then, yawning again, he lit a candle and started for the passage at the back of the cave.

“How are you getting on?” he asked, pausing to look over the gnome’s shoulder with a grin.

“Fine!” answered Ruggedo, forgetting to scowl. “I’m up to the sixth rock and expect to finish to-night.”

“Who do you think will read it?” asked the rabbit, putting back both ears and stroking his whiskers. Then he gave a great spring, just escaped the chisel Ruggedo had flung at his head, and pattered away into the darkness. For several minutes the gnome danced up and down with fury. Then, as there was no one to pinch or shake, he started to work harder than ever on the sixth rock of his history. There were six of the great Stones set in a row on one side of the cavern and the carving on them had taken the old gnome King the best part of two years. The letters were crooked and roughly chiseled, but quite readable. On the first rock he had carved:

History of Ruggedo in Six Rocks Ruggedo the Rough-King of the Gnomes One time Metal Monarch, at other times a Limoneag, a goose, a nut, and now a common gnome by order of Ozma of Oz.

The second rock told of Ruggedo’s magnificent Kingdom under the mountains of Ev, of the thousands of gnomes he had ruled and the great treasure of precious gems he had possessed, in those good old days before he was banished from his dominions.

The third rock told of his transformation of the Queen of Ev and her children into ornaments for his palace and of their rescue by a party from Oz, through the cleverness of Billina, a yellow hen. It told of the loss of his Magic Belt which was captured at this same time by Dorothy, a little girl from Kansas.

The fourth rock related how Ruggedo had tried to conquer Oz and recovered his belt; how all of his plans failed and how he tumbled into the Fountain of Oblivion and forgot all about his campaign.

The fifth rock had taken Ruggedo the longest to carve, for it gave the story of his banishment by the Great Jinn Titihoochoo. You have probably read this story yourself. How Tik Tok, Betsy Bobbin, Shaggyman and Polychrome, trying to find Shaggy’s brother, hidden in the Gnome King’s metal forest, were thrown down a long tube to the other side of the world, and how the owner of the tube sent Quox, the dragon, to punish Ruggedo by banishment from his Kingdom and how Kaliko was made King of the Gnomes.

The sixth rock told of Ruggedo’s last attempt to capture Oz. Meeting Kiki Aru, a Highup boy who knew a magic transformation word, Ruggedo suggested that they change themselves to Limoneags queer beasts with lion heads, monkey tails and eagle wings get all the beasts of Oz to help and march on the Emerald City. But this plan failed, too. Kiki lost his temper and changed Ruggedo to a goose, the Wizard of Oz discovered the magic word and changed both the conspirators to nuts. Later on they were changed back to their normal shapes, but again Ruggedo was plunged into the Fountain of Oblivion and again forgot his wicked plans. This ended the rock history, except for a short sentence stating that Ruggedo now lived in the Emerald City.

But the magic of the Fountain of Oblivion had soon worn off and it was not long before Ruggedo began to remember his past wicked-ness. That is why he decided to carve his life story in rock, so that it would be handy should he ever fall into the forgetful fountain again. And it had taken six rocks to tell all of his adventures. He had not carved these stories just as they had happened, nor ever called himself wicked, but he had told most of the facts, leaving out the parts most unflattering to himself. And now it was finished-his whole history in six rocks. Throwing down his chisel for the last time, Ruggedo straightened up and regarded his work with glowing pride.

“I don’t believe there’s another history like this in all Oz,” puffed the gnome, tugging at his silver beard.

“It’s a good thing,” chuckled Wag, who had come back to eat a carrot. “Oz would not be a very happy place if there were many folks like you.

He seated himself quietly on the first rock of Ruggedo’s history, and began nibbling his carrot.

“Get up! How dare you sit on my history?” Ruggedo stamped his foot and started threateningly toward Wag.

“All right,” said the rabbit, “it’s too hard, anyway.

“Of course it’s hard,” stormed Ruggedo. “I’ve had a hard life; hard as those rocks. Everybody’s been against me from the very start, and all because I’m so little,” he finished bitterly.

“No, because you are so wicked,” said the rabbit calmly. “Now, don’t throw your pipe at me, for you know it’s the truth.”

Ruggedo glared at the rabbit for a minute, then rushed over to the wooden doll, and began shaking her furiously. He always vented his rage on the wooden doll.

“Stop that,” screamed Wag, “or I’ll leave upon the spot. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You old scrabble-scratch.”

“She’s not alive,” snapped Ruggedo sulkily.

“How do you know?” retorted the rabbit. “Anyway, she’s a jolly creature. I’m not going to have her banging around. Here you’ve taken her away from her little mother, and she hasn’t even anyone to rock her to sleep.”

“I’ll rock her to sleep,” screamed Ruggedo, maliciously. And flinging the doll on the floor he began hurling small rocks at the helpless little figure.

Scrambling to his feet, Wag rescued the wooden doll again, and Ruggedo, who really was afraid the rabbit would leave him, subsided into his rocking chair. Then reaching up to a small shelf over his head, he pulled down an accordion. At the first doleful wheeze Wag gave a great hop, dropped Peg and disappeared into his room in the farthest corner of the cave.

After his last attempt to capture Oz, the gnome had been given a small cottage to live in, just outside the Emerald City. But Ruggedo could not bear life above ground. The sunlight hurt his eyes, and the contented, happy faces of the people hurt his feelings, for he was exactly what Wag had called him-an old scrabble-scratch. So, while he pretended to live in the little cottage, according to Ozma’s orders, he really spent most of his time in this deep, dark cave. He entered it by a secret passage, opening from his cellar.

Digging the long passage had been the hardest work Ruggedo had ever done in his bad little life. While toiling one day, he had bumped into the underground burrow of Wag, a wandering rabbit of Oz, and after a deal of bargaining, the rabbit had agreed to help him. Wag was to receive a ruby a month for his services, for the gnome still had a large bag of precious stones, which he had brought from the old Kingdom. After the bargain with Wag was made, the passage progressed rapidly, for the rabbit was an expert digger.

It was Ruggedo’s idea to tunnel himself out a secret chamber, directly under Ozma’s palace, and there establish a kingdom of his own. But when they had almost reached the spot, the earth began to crumble away, and a few strokes of Ruggedo’s spade revealed a great dark cavern, already tunneled by someone else. It was huge and the exact shape of the royal palace. This Ruggedo discovered by careful measurement, and also that it was directly beneath the gorgeous green edifice, so that the footsteps of the servants could be heard faintly, pattering to and fro.

This dark, underground retreat suited the former Gnome King exactly and, without stopping to wonder to whom it had belonged, Ruggedo gleefully took possession. For almost two years he had lived here without anyone suspecting it, but so far his kingdom had not progressed very well. Wag had tried to coax some of his rabbit relations to serve the old gnome as subjects, but Ruggedo, besides his terrible temper, had a mean habit of pulling their ears, so that the whole crew had deserted the first week. He had pulled Wag’s ears once, but the rabbit tore out a pawful of his whiskers, and bit him so severely in the leg that Ruggedo had never dared to try it again. Wag had stayed partly because Ruggedo amused him and partly because of the bribes, for every day, in fear of losing his only retainer, Ruggedo brought Wag something from the Emerald City-something he had stolen! In return, Wag waited on the bad little gnome and listened to his grumblings against everybody in Oz. All the furnishings of this strange cave had been stolen from various houses in the Emerald City. The twenty-seven brocade cushions had been taken, one at a time from the palace; the green emerald lamp also. Every day Ruggedo ran innocently about the city, pretending to visit this one and that, and every day cups, spoons, and candlesticks disappeared.

The doll’s rocker, which Ruggedo insisted upon calling his throne, he had taken from Betsy Bobbin, a little girl who lived with Ozma in the palace. He had lugged it through the secret passage with great difficulty. The wooden doll had been stolen from Trot, another of Ozma’s companions. She was Trot’s favorite doll, for she had been carved out of wood by Captain Bill, an old one-legged sailor, who was one of the most celebrated characters in all Oz. He had carved her for Trot one day when they were on a picnic in the Winkie Country, from the wood of a small yellow tree, and as Captain Bill had old-fashioned notions, Peg was a very old-fashioned doll. But she had splendid joints and could sit down and stand up. Her face was painted and as pleasant as laughing blue eyes, a turned-up nose, and a smiling mouth could make it. Trot had dressed her in a funny, old-fashioned dress, with pantalettes,