Beauty and The Beast by Bayard Taylor (uplifting books for women .txt) 📖

he fell into the habit of spending his Saturday evenings at the Pardon farmhouse, at first to talk over matters of work, and finally because it had become a welcome relief from his dreary life at home.

Now it happened that on a Saturday in the beginning of haying-time, the village tailor sent home by Harry a new suit of light summer clothes, for which Jacob had been measured a month before. After supper he tried them on, the day’s work being over, and Sally’s admiration was so loud and emphatic that he felt himself growing red even to the small of his back.

“Now, don’t go for to take ‘em off, Mr. Jake,” said she. “I spec’ you’re gwine down to Pardon’s, and so you jist keep ‘em on to show ‘em all how nice you KIN look.”

The same thought had already entered Jacob’s mind. Poor fellow! It was the highest form of pleasure of which he had ever allowed himself to conceive. If he had been called upon to pass through the village on first assuming the new clothes, every stitch would have pricked him as if the needle remained in it; but a quiet walk down the brookside, by the pleasant path through the thickets and over the fragrant meadows, with a consciousness of his own neatness and freshness at every step, and with kind Ann Pardon’s commendation at the close, and the flattering curiosity of the children,—the only ones who never made fun of him,—all that was a delightful prospect. He could never, NEVER forget himself, as he had seen other young fellows do; but to remember himself agreeably was certainly the next best thing.

Jacob was already a well-grown man of twenty-three, and would have made a good enough appearance but for the stoop in his shoulders, and the drooping, uneasy way in which he carried his head. Many a time when he was alone in the fields or woods he had straightened himself, and looked courageously at the buts of the oak-trees or in the very eyes of the indifferent oxen; but, when a human face drew near, some spring in his neck seemed to snap, some buckle around his shoulders to be drawn three holes tighter, and he found himself in the old posture. The ever-present thought of this weakness was the only drop of bitterness in his cup, as he followed the lonely path through the thickets.

Some spirit in the sweet, delicious freshness of the air, some voice in the mellow babble of the stream, leaping in and out of sight between the alders, some smile of light, lingering on the rising cornfields beyond the meadow and the melting purple of a distant hill, reached to the seclusion of his heart. He was soothed and cheered; his head lifted itself in the presentiment of a future less lonely than the past, and the everlasting trouble vanished from his eyes.

Suddenly, at a turn of the path, two mowers from the meadow, with their scythes upon their shoulders, came upon him. He had not heard their feet on the deep turf. His chest relaxed, and his head began to sink; then, with the most desperate effort in his life, he lifted it again, and, darting a rapid side glance at the men, hastened by. They could not understand the mixed defiance and supplication of his face; to them he only looked “queer.”

“Been committin’ a murder, have you?” asked one of them, grinning.

“Startin’ off on his journey, I guess,” said the other.

 

The next instant they were gone, and Jacob, with set teeth and clinched hands, smothered something that would have been a howl if he had given it voice. Sharp lines of pain were marked on his face, and, for the first time, the idea of resistance took fierce and bitter possession of his heart. But the mood was too unusual to last; presently he shook his head, and walked on towards Pardon’s farmhouse.

Ann wore a smart gingham dress, and her first exclamation was: “Why, Jake! how nice you look. And so you know all about it, too?”

“About what?”

“I see you don’t,” said she. “I was too fast; but it makes no difference. I know you are willing to lend me a helping hand.”

“Oh, to be sure,” Jacob answered.

“And not mind a little company?”

Jacob’s face suddenly clouded; but he said, though with an effort: “No—not much—if I can be of any help.”

“It’s rather a joke, after all,” Ann Pardon continued, speaking rapidly; “they meant a surprise, a few of the young people; but sister Becky found a way to send me word, or I might have been caught like Meribah Johnson last week, in the middle of my work; eight or ten, she said, but more may drop in: and it’s moonlight and warm, so they’ll be mostly under the trees; and Robert won’t be home till late, and I DO want help in carrying chairs, and getting up some ice, and handing around; and, though I know you don’t care for merry makings, you CAN help me out, you see—

“

 

Here she paused. Jacob looked perplexed, but said nothing.

“Becky will help what she can, and while I’m in the kitchen she’ll have an eye to things outside,” she said.

Jacob’s head was down again, and, moreover, turned on one side, but his ear betrayed the mounting blood. Finally he answered, in a quick, husky voice: “Well, I’ll do what I can. What’s first?”

Thereupon he began to carry some benches from the veranda to a grassy bank beside the sycamore-tree. Ann Pardon wisely said no more of the coming surprise-party, but kept him so employed that, as the visitors arrived by twos and threes, the merriment was in full play almost before he was aware of it. Moreover, the night was a protecting presence: the moonlight poured splendidly upon the open turf beyond the sycamore, but every lilac-bush or trellis of woodbine made a nook of shade, wherein he could pause a moment and take courage for his duties. Becky Morton, Ann Pardon’s youngest sister, frightened him a little every time she came to consult about the arrangement of seats or the distribution of refreshments; but it was a delightful, fascinating fear, such as he had never felt before in his life. He knew Becky, but he had never seen her in white and pink, with floating tresses, until now. In fact, he had hardly looked at her fairly, but now, as she glided into the moonlight and he paused in the shadow, his eyes took note of her exceeding beauty. Some sweet, confusing influence, he knew not what, passed into his blood.

The young men had brought a fiddler from the village, and it was not long before most of the company were treading the measures of reels or cotillons on the grass. How merry and happy they all were! How freely and unembarrassedly they moved and talked! By and by all became involved in the dance, and Jacob, left alone and unnoticed, drew nearer and nearer to the gay and beautiful life from which he was expelled.

With a long-drawn scream of the fiddle the dance came to an end, and the dancers, laughing, chattering, panting, and fanning themselves, broke into groups and scattered over the enclosure before the house. Jacob was surrounded before he could escape. Becky, with two lively girls in her wake, came up to him and said: “Oh Mr. Flint, why don’t you dance?”

If he had stopped to consider, he would no doubt have replied very differently. But a hundred questions, stirred by what he had seen, were clamoring for light, and they threw the desperate impulse to his lips.

“If I COULD dance, would you dance with me?”

The two lively girls heard the words, and looked at Becky with roguish faces.

“Oh yes, take him for your next partner!” cried one.

“I will,” said Becky, “after he comes back from his journey.”

Then all three laughed. Jacob leaned against the tree, his eyes fixed on the ground.

“Is it a bargain?” asked one of the girls.

“No,” said he, and walked rapidly away.

He went to the house, and, finding that Robert had arrived, took his hat, and left by the rear door. There was a grassy alley between the orchard and garden, from which it was divided by a high hawthorn hedge. He had scarcely taken three paces on his way to the meadow, when the sound of the voice he had last heard, on the other side of the hedge, arrested his feet.

“Becky, I think you rather hurt Jake Flint,” said the girl.

“Hardly,” answered Becky; “he’s used to that.”

“Not if he likes you; and you might go further and fare worse.”

“Well, I MUST say!” Becky exclaimed, with a laugh; “you’d like to see me stuck in that hollow, out of your way!”

“It’s a good farm, I’ve heard,” said the other.

“Yes, and covered with as much as it’ll bear!”

Here the girls were called away to the dance. Jacob slowly walked up the dewy meadow, the sounds of fiddling, singing, and laughter growing fainter behind him.

“My journey!” he repeated to himself,—” my journey! why shouldn’t I start on it now? Start off, and never come back?”

It was a very little thing, after all, which annoyed him, but the mention of it always touched a sore nerve of his nature. A dozen years before, when a boy at school, he had made a temporary friendship with another boy of his age, and had one day said to the latter, in the warmth of his first generous confidence: “When I am a little older, I shall make a great journey, and come back rich, and buy Whitney’s place!”

Now, Whitney’s place, with its stately old brick mansion, its avenue of silver firs, and its two hundred acres of clean, warmlying land, was the finest, the most aristocratic property in all the neighborhood, and the boy-friend could not resist the temptation of repeating Jacob’s grand design, for the endless amusement of the school. The betrayal hurt Jacob more keenly than the ridicule. It left a wound that never ceased to rankle; yet, with the inconceivable perversity of unthinking natures, precisely this joke (as the people supposed it to be) had been perpetuated, until “Jake Flint’s Journey” was a synonyme for any absurd or extravagant expectation. Perhaps no one imagined how much pain he was keeping alive; for almost any other man than Jacob would have joined in the laugh against himself and thus good-naturedly buried the joke in time. “He’s used to that,” the people said, like Becky Morton, and they really supposed there was nothing unkind in the remark!

After Jacob had passed the thickets and entered the lonely hollow in which his father’s house lay, his pace became slower and slower.

He looked at the shabby old building, just touched by the moonlight behind the swaying shadows of the weeping-willow, stopped, looked again, and finally seated himself on a stump beside the path.

“If I knew what to do!” he said to himself, rocking backwards and forwards, with his hands clasped over his knees,—“if I knew what to do!”

The spiritual tension of the evening reached its climax: he could bear no more. With a strong bodily shudder his tears burst forth, and the passion of his weeping filled him from head to foot. How long he wept he knew not; it seemed as if the hot fountains would never run dry. Suddenly and startlingly a hand fell upon his shoulder.

“Boy, what does this mean?”

It was his father who stood before him.

Jacob looked up like some shy animal brought to bay, his eyes full of a feeling mixed of fierceness and terror; but he said nothing.

His father seated himself on one of the roots of the