If: A Play in Four Acts by Lord Dunsany (best ebook reader for chromebook TXT) 📖

JOHN

We'll get it mended, and if Jane is unhappy about it she can have Alice's frame. Alice is too young to notice it.

MARY

She isn't, John. She'd notice it quick.

JOHN

Well, George, then.

MARY [looking at photo thoughtfully]

Well, perhaps George might give up his frame.

JOHN

Yes, tell Liza to change it. Why not make her do it now?

MARY

Not to-day, John. Not on a Sunday. She shall do it to-morrow by the time you get back from the office.

JOHN

All right. It might have been worse.

MARY

It's bad enough. I wish it hadn't happened.

JOHN

It might have been worse. It might have been Aunt Martha.

MARY

I'd sooner it had been her than poor little Jane.

JOHN

If it had been Aunt Martha's photograph she'd have walked in next day and seen it for certain; I know Aunt Martha. Then there'd have been trouble.

MARY

But, John, how could she have known?

JOHN

I don't know, but she would have; it's a kind of devilish sense she has.

MARY

John!

JOHN

What's the matter?

MARY

John! What a dreadful word you used. And on a Sunday too! Really!

JOHN

O, I'm sorry. It slipped out somehow. I'm very sorry.

[Enter LIZA.]

LIZA

There's a gentleman to see you, sir, which isn't, properly speaking, a gentleman at all. Not what I should call one, that is, like.

MARY

Not a gentleman! Good gracious, Liza! Whatever do you mean?

LIZA

He's black.

MARY

Black?

JOHN [reassuring]

O... yes, that would be Ali. A queer old customer, Mary; perfectly harmless. Our firm gets hundreds of carpets through him; and then one day...

MARY

But what is he doing here, John?

JOHN

Well, one day he turned up in London; broke, he said; and wanted the firm to give him a little cash. Well, old Briggs was for giving him ten shillings. But I said "here's a man that's helped us in making thousands of pounds. Let's give him fifty."

MARY

Fifty pounds!

JOHN

Yes, it seems a lot; but it seemed only fair. Ten shillings would have been an insult to the old fellow, and he'd have taken it as such. You don't know what he'd have done.

MARY

Well, he doesn't want more?

JOHN

No, I expect he's come to thank me. He seemed pretty keen on getting some cash. Badly broke, you see. Don't know what he was doing in London. Never can tell with these fellows. East is East, and there's an end of it.

MARY

How did he trace you here?

JOHN

O, got the address at the office. Briggs and Cater won't let theirs be known. Not got such a smart little house, I expect.

MARY

I don't like letting people in that you don't know where they come from.

JOHN

O, he comes from the East.

MARY

Yes, I—I know. But the East doesn't seem quite to count, somehow, as the proper sort of place to come from, does it, dear?

JOHN

No.

MARY

It's not like Sydenham or Bromley, some place you can put your finger on.

JOHN

Perhaps just for once, I don't think there's any harm in him.

MARY

Well, just for once. But we can't make a practice of it. And you don't want to be thinking of business on a Sunday, your only day off.

JOHN

O, it isn't business, you know. He only wants to say thank you.

MARY

I hope he won't say it in some queer Eastern way. You don't know what these people....

JOHN

O, no. Show him up, Liza.

LIZA

As you like, mum. [Exit.]

MARY

And you gave him fifty pounds?

JOHN

Well, old Briggs agreed to it. So I suppose that's what he got. Cater paid him.

MARY

It seems a lot of money. But I think, as the man is actually coming up the stairs, I'm glad he's got something to be grateful for.