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Sean shook his head. “Why not?” she demanded.
“Rachel Jefferies is my fourth cousin, or my third cousin, I forget, but the lass is related to me, I couldn’t possible marry someone related to me, that’s incest,” he declared and she made a face.
“Maybe first or second cousin but not third or fourth,” Claire protested. Sean shook his head.
“I’m not marrying my cousin, lass, forget it, it would be disgusting, wouldn’t it Sally?” he turned to ask her. Sally nodded. Claire sighed.
“What about Myrtle Green, she’s nice,” she suggested. Sean looked appalled.
“Nice and fat,” he snapped. “She’d roll over in bed and squash me dead, do you want me to go to heaven that fast and join you, lass?” he demanded and Claire giggled.
“I guess she could never be on top, could she?” she teased him. Sally raised an eyebrow. Claire stuck out her tongue at her.
“Well, what about?” she began and her husband interrupted her.
“I’m perfectly happy with the wife I’ve got, Claire,” he said firmly. “And after you leave me I’m going to be so heart-broken that I’m not going to be able to look at another woman for at least twenty years and then I’m going to be too damned old to remarry so please stop trying to marry me off.” Claire looked surprised and then pleased.
“Just twenty years?” she asked softly. Sean dropped the book and came over to sit next to her.
“That’s just to look at another woman to say hello,” he said softly. “I’ll always love you, Claire, forever and ever as long as I live.” He bent to kiss her and the two little girls giggled and had to climb up on the bed for their kisses.
“God, Sean the pain, I can’t stand the pain,” Claire wept one night in April. It was three in the morning and everyone in the house was asleep. Sean sat up and held her.
“Let me get the medicine,” he said and got up out of bed. She shook her head.
“I don’t want any more of that crap, it doesn’t help anymore. It just puts me to sleep for an hour and then the pain wakes me up,” she snapped. Her thin body trembled as pain wrecked her body. “I can’t take the pain anymore, why can’t I just die, why won’t it kill me!” Claire began to sob, big heart-wrenching sobs. It made Sean’s heart ache to see her like this. He mixed the medicine and brought it to her. Claire saw the glass and knocked it out of his hand.
“Sean,” she grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. “If you really loved me, you’d help me,” she said. He looked confused.
“Help you, lass; of course I’d help you. I’d do anything for you, Claire, I love you, darling,” he cooed. She nodded and kissed his hands.
“Then take away my pain, Sean, please,” Claire said softly. Sean frowned.
“I’ll make more medicine,” he said and she shook her head.
“I told you the medicine doesn’t help, Sean, not anymore, nothing helps,” Claire said firmly. Sean looked confused.
“Then how can I help you, Claire?” he whispered and she looked at him some more and then his eyes widened. “Ah, lass, you don’t mean that,” he said and she nodded.
“Oh, yes, Sean I do, please, I’m dying anyway and the pain is so bad, it won’t go away and it hurts, it hurts so much. I can’t live like this. This is not way to live, Sean. Lying here hour after hour in constant agony, taking the medicine that knocks me out, only to wake an hour later in such pain that I scream from it,” she told him and he brushed the hair from her face. “Please, darling, I’d do it for you, you know I would.”
“Ah, lass, I know you would,” Sean said and kissed her forehead gently. She flinched, even that light touch hurt. “Do you want to say goodbye to the kids again?” he asked her softly. She shook her head.
“I already said goodbye when we said goodnight,” Claire said and smiled. They did every night, just in case she died before they woke up the next day. Sean smiled down at her.
“We’ve been so happy together haven’t we, lass?” Sean said and she nodded.
“I love you, Sean,” she whispered. He kissed her lips gently and heard her gasp slightly.
“I love you, Claire,” he whispered against her lips and then he snapped her neck as quickly as he could so it wouldn’t hurt so much. He heard her gasp again but then he knew the pain was over when her body went limp. Sean laid her head on the pillow and brushed the hair from her face with gentle hands. She had been right, this was no way to live, battling pain hour after hour drugged up so much she hardly knew when her children were in the room holding her hand.
Sean sat in the chair all night, dozing and sitting with her remembering all the happy times they had had together. The first time they had met; how defiantly she had marched into his bedroom demanding they start living in sin. How ecstatic she had been when she discovered she was pregnant, how smug she had been telling that bastard William her first husband. So many happy memories they had together and five wonderful boys they had raised. And now those boys were strong men with children of their own. They were going to be so sad tomorrow when they found out their beloved mother was gone. Sean decided that he would put that on her stone, she would have liked that. Claire Donoghue: Beloved wife and mother.
The next morning Sally came in to see how Claire was doing and found him sleeping in the chair. He woke up when he heard her.
“How was her night, Granddad?” Sally said softly and glanced at the woman sleeping peacefully in the bed. Sean shook his head.
“She’s gone, Sally, Claire died around three,” he informed her and she looked shocked. He took her hands in his and she nodded, tears welling up in her eyes.
“I’m going to bathe her, could you change the sheets for me?” he asked and she nodded. Sean picked up his wife and took her into the bathroom. He heard Sally crying behind him. He gently washed Claire; her body was so thin; the illness had wasted her away to almost nothing. Then he took her back into the room and put her in her pink dress, the one she had selected and brushed her long, silky hair. Carrie was in the room now and she helped braid and wrap it around Claire’s head and put flowers in it. Sean hugged her.
“I know you loved her too, Carrie,” he whispered and she nodded, crying softly. Then he went outside and picked armfuls of flowers from the garden and the ladies put them into vases so the whole room smelled like flowers. Sally lighted candles which gave off a nice glow. Then they had a cup of coffee and waited for the boys to get up. Bill milked the cows and Sean had a big cold glass of milk.
Kalin, Jenny and their three children Sean who was seven, Faith who was four and George who was one were the first ones down for breakfast. Jenny took one look at the sad faces and knew. Kalin was slower but his dad smiled at him and then he knew.
“Mom?” he asked softly and handed the baby to his wife.
“Last night around three, it was painless, she didn’t feel anything,” Sean told him. Kalin nodded.
“Can I go in and see her?” he asked and Sean nodded.
“What’s wrong with Kalin?” Bobby asked as he and his wife Annie and their three children, David who was eight, Bridget who was also four like Faith and James who was two came into the kitchen. Sean put his arms around his son.
“Your mother died this morning around three, Bobby, I’m real sorry, Son,” he said softly and Bobby nodded, tears filling his eyes. Annie put her hand on his arm.
“Is that where Kalin went to go and see her?” Bobby asked. Sean nodded.
“You can go too, Son,” he told him and Bobby walked away. He passed Zack and his wife Brenda in the hall. Zack was carrying his two year-old son Joseph. He saw his brother crying and knew.
“Mom’s dead?” he whispered to his dad who nodded.
“Around three this morning, the boys are in there, why don’t you join them?” Sean suggested and Zack left the kitchen.
“No running in the kitchen,” Ryan yelled as three year-old Derrick came racing into the large room. Sean caught him and the little boy giggled. Sean laughed and put him in a chair. Ryan came in holding the twins, three month old girls, Tracey and Stacey. Sally took them and Ryan frowned at her face. He looked at his dad who nodded.
“Mom?” Ryan asked.
“At three this morning, your brothers are in there, why don’t you join them, lad,” Sean said softly and Ryan rushed away. He passed his twin carrying his twin sons, Timmy and Tommy also three months old. Danny took one look at his brother’s face and handed the boys to his dad. He rushed away without a word.
Sean kept breakfast as normal as possible for the children, they would know soon enough their beloved grandmother was gone to heaven and be sad. But children bounced back quicker than adults did and once they were told she was in heaven and that they would see her again when they were old and got to go they would be fine. The boys would miss her longer and of course Sean would miss her for the longest, for he would be around the longest.
Sean put off going into the bedroom as long as he could but eventually he had to join his sons and went in. They were all seated in chairs around the bed and all looked like they had been crying. Sean sat on the bed next to his wife and took her hand; they all looked shocked that he would touch her.
“Was it painful, at the end?” Bobby asked hesitantly. Sean shook his head.
“No, the pain went away just before she passed, she smiled at me and then she took a breath and then she just died,” he said softly. They all seemed to like that.
“That’s good, the pain was eating her alive,” Kalin said and they all nodded.
“She looks so peaceful, like she’s sleeping,” Danny remarked and they all nodded again.
“Does dying hurt?” Zack asked suddenly. They all looked at him and then at their dad. Sean shrugged.
“I suppose it depends on the way that you die,” he told them. “My mother was killed when a Chervek Mauraider slashed her throat with his sword, I suspect that had to have hurt.” They all flinched.
“I want to die like Mom did, peacefully in my sleep,” Danny declared and they all nodded. Sean wished that they all died peacefully in their sleeps and not wracked with pain like poor Claire begging someone to kill them to end their misery. He stood up.
“I’m going to
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