To Let by John Galsworthy (the beginning after the end novel read TXT) 📖
- Author: John Galsworthy
Book online «To Let by John Galsworthy (the beginning after the end novel read TXT) 📖». Author John Galsworthy
Sire Living On Within Him? And Again Came That Scent Of Cigar
Smoke--From The Old Saturated Leather. Well! He Would Tackle It, Write
To Jon, And Put The Whole Thing Down In Black And White! And Suddenly
He Breathed With Difficulty, With A Sense Of Suffocation, As If His
Heart Were Swollen. He Got Up And Went Out Into The Air. Orion's Belt
Was Very Bright. He Passed Along The Terrace Round The Corner Of The
House, Till, Through The Window Of The Music-Room, He Could See Irene
At The Piano, With Lamplight Falling On Her Powdery Hair; Withdrawn
Into Herself She Seemed, Her Dark Eyes Staring Straight Before Her, Her
Hands Idle. Jolyon Saw Her Raise Those Hands And Clasp Them Over Her
Breast. 'It's Jon, With Her,' He Thought; 'All Jon! I'm Dying Out Of
Her--It's Natural!'
And, Careful Not To Be Seen, He Stole Back.
Next Day, After A Bad Night, He Sat Down To His Task. He Wrote With
Difficulty And Many Erasures.
"My Dearest Boy,
"You Are Old Enough To Understand How Very Difficult It Is For Elders
To Give Themselves Away To Their Young. Especially When--Like Your
Mother And Myself, Though I Shall Never Think Of Her As Anything But
Young--Their Hearts Are Altogether Set On Him To Whom They Must
Confess. I Cannot Say We Are Conscious Of Having Sinned Exactly--People
In Real Life Very Seldom Are, I Believe, But Most Persons Would Say We
Had, And At All Events Our Conduct, Righteous Or Not, Has Found Us Out.
The Truth Is, My Dear, We Both Have Pasts, Which It Is Now My Task To
Make Known To You, Because They So Grievously And Deeply Affect Your
Future. Many, Very Many Years Ago, As Far Back Indeed As 1883, When She
Was Only Twenty, Your Mother Had The Great And Lasting Misfortune To
Make An Unhappy Marriage--No, Not With Me, Jon.
Part III I (Old Jolyon Walks) Pg 56Without Money Of Her
Own, And With Only A Stepmother--Closely Related To Jezebel--She Was
Very Unhappy In Her Home Life. It Was Fleur's Father That She Married,
My Cousin Soames Forsyte. He Had Pursued Her Very Tenaciously And To Do
Him Justice Was Deeply In Love With Her. Within A Week She Knew The
Fearful Mistake She Had Made. It Was Not His Fault; It Was Her Error Of
Judgment--Her Misfortune."
So Far Jolyon Had Kept Some Semblance Of Irony, But Now His Subject
Carried Him Away.
"Jon, I Want To Explain To You If I Can--And It's Very Hard--How It Is
That An Unhappy Marriage Such As This Can So Easily Come About. You
Will Of Course Say: 'If She Didn't Really Love Him How Could She Ever
Have Married Him?' You Would Be Quite Right If It Were Not For One Or
Two Rather Terrible Considerations. From This Initial Mistake Of Hers
All The Subsequent Trouble, Sorrow, And Tragedy Have Come, And So I
Must Make It Clear To You If I Can. You See, Jon, In Those Days And
Even To This Day--Indeed, I Don't See, For All The Talk Of
Enlightenment, How It Can Well Be Otherwise--Most Girls Are Married
Ignorant Of The Sexual Side Of Life. Even If They Know What It Means
They Have Not Experienced It. That's The Crux. It Is This Actual Lack
Of Experience, Whatever Verbal Knowledge They Have, Which Makes All The
Difference And All The Trouble. In A Vast Number Of Marriages--And Your
Mother's Was One--Girls Are Not And Cannot Be Certain Whether They Love
The Man They Marry Or Not; They Do Not Know Until After That Act Of
Union Which Makes The Reality Of Marriage. Now, In Many, Perhaps In
Most Doubtful Cases, This Act Cements And Strengthens The Attachment,
But In Other Cases, And Your Mother's Was One, It Is A Revelation Of
Mistake, A Destruction Of Such Attraction As There Was. There Is
Nothing More Tragic In A Woman's Life Than Such A Revelation, Growing
Daily, Nightly Clearer. Coarse-Grained And Unthinking People Are Apt To
Laugh At Such A Mistake, And Say 'What A Fuss About Nothing!' Narrow
And Self-Righteous People, Only Capable Of Judging The Lives Of Others
By Their Own, Are Apt To Condemn Those Who Make This Tragic Error, To
Condemn Them For Life To The Dungeons They Have Made For Themselves.
You Know The Expression: 'She Has Made Her Bed, She Must Lie On It!' It
Is A Hard-Mouthed Saying, Quite Unworthy Of A Gentleman Or Lady In The
Best Sense Of Those Words; And I Can Use No Stronger Condemnation. I
Have Not Been What Is Called A Moral Man, But I Wish To Use No Words To
You, My Dear, Which Will Make You Think Lightly Of Ties Or Contracts
Into Which You Enter.
Part III I (Old Jolyon Walks) Pg 57Heaven Forbid! But With The Experience Of A Life
Behind Me I Do Say That Those Who Condemn The Victims Of These Tragic
Mistakes, Condemn Them And Hold Out No Hands To Help Them, Are Inhuman
Or Rather They Would Be If They Had The Understanding To Know What They
Are Doing. But They Haven't! Let Them Go! They Are As Much Anathema To
Me As I, No Doubt, Am To Them. I Have Had To Say All This, Because I Am
Going To Put You Into A Position To Judge Your Mother, And You Are Very
Young, Without Experience Of What Life Is. To Go On With The Story.
After Three Years Of Effort To Subdue Her Shrinking--I Was Going To Say
Her Loathing And It's Not Too Strong A Word, For Shrinking Soon Becomes
Loathing Under Such Circumstances--Three Years Of What To A Sensitive,
Beauty-Loving Nature Like Your Mother's, Jon, Was Torment, She Met A
Young Man Who Fell In Love With Her. He Was The Architect Of This Very
House That We Live In Now, He Was Building It For Her And Fleur's
Father To Live In, A New Prison To Hold Her, In Place Of The One She
Inhabited With Him In London. Perhaps That Fact Played Some Part In
What Came Of It. But In Any Case She, Too, Fell In Love With Him. I
Know It's Not Necessary To Explain To You That One Does Not Precisely
Choose With Whom One Will Fall In Love. It Comes. Very Well! It Came. I
Can Imagine--Though She Never Said Much To Me About It--The Struggle
That Then Took Place In Her, Because, Jon, She Was Brought Up Strictly
And Was Not Light In Her Ideas--Not At All. However, This Was An
Overwhelming Feeling, And It Came To Pass That They Loved In Deed As
Well As In Thought. Then Came A Fearful Tragedy. I Must Tell You Of It
Because If I Don't You Will Never Understand The Real Situation That
You Have Now To Face. The Man Whom She Had Married--Soames Forsyte, The
Father Of Fleur--One Night, At The Height Of Her Passion For This Young
Man, Forcibly Reasserted His Rights Over Her. The Next Day She Met Her
Lover And Told Him Of It. Whether He Committed Suicide Or Whether He
Was Accidentally Run Over In His Distraction, We Never Knew; But So It
Was. Think Of Your Mother As She Was That Evening When She Heard Of His
Death. I Happened To See Her. Your Grand-Father Sent Me To Help Her If
I Could. I Only Just Saw Her, Before The Door Was Shut Against Me By
Her Husband. But I Have Never Forgotten Her Face, I Can See It Now. I
Was Not In Love With Her Then, Nor For Twelve Years After, But I Have
Never Forgotten. My Dear Boy--It Is Not Easy To Write Like This. But
You See, I Must. Your Mother Is Wrapped Up In You, Utterly, Devotedly.
I Don't Wish To Write Harshly Of Soames Forsyte. I Don't Think Harshly
Of Him. I Have Long Been Sorry For Him; Perhaps I Was Sorry Even Then.
As The World Judges She Was In Error, He Was Within His Rights. He
Loved Her--In His Way. She Was His Property.
Part III I (Old Jolyon Walks) Pg 58That Is The View He Holds
Of Life--Of Human Feelings And Hearts--Property. It's Not His Fault--So
Was He Born! To Me It Is A View That Has Always Been Abhorrent--So Was
I Born! Knowing You As I Do, I Feel It Cannot Be Otherwise Than
Abhorrent To You. Let Me Go On With The Story. Your Mother Fled From
His House That Night; For Twelve Years She Lived Quietly Alone Without
Companionship Of Any Sort, Until, In 1899 Her Husband--You See, He Was
Still Her Husband, For He Did Not Attempt To Divorce Her, And She Of
Course Had No Right To Divorce Him, Became Conscious, It Seems, Of The
Want Of Children, And Commenced A Long Attempt To Induce Her To Go Back
To Him And Give Him A Child. I Was Her Trustee Then, Under Your
Grandfather's Will, And I Watched This Going On. While Watching, I
Became Devotedly Attached To Her. His Pressure Increased, Till One Day
She Came To Me Here And Practically Put Herself Under My Protection.
Her Husband, Who Was Kept Informed Of All Her Movements, Attempted To
Force Us Apart By Bringing A Divorce Suit, Or At All Events By
Threatening One; Anyway Our Names Were Publicly Joined. That Decided
Us, And We Became United In Fact. She Was Divorced, Married Me, And You
Were Born. We Have Lived In Perfect Happiness, At Least I Have, And I
Believe Your Mother Also. Soames, Soon After The Divorce, Married
Fleur's Mother, And She Was Born. That Is The Story, Jon. I Have Told
It You, Because By The Affection Which We See You Have Formed For This
Man's Daughter You Are Blindly Moving Towards What Must Utterly Destroy
Your Mother's Happiness, If Not Your Own. I Don't Wish To Speak Of
Myself, Because At My Age There's No Use Supposing I Shall Cumber The
Ground Much Longer, Besides, What I Should Suffer Would Be Mainly On
Her Account, And On Yours. But What I Want You To Realise Is That
Feelings Of Horror And Aversion Such As Those Can Never Be Buried Or
Forgotten. They Are Alive In Her To-Day. Only Yesterday At Lord's We
Happened To See Soames Forsyte. Her Face, If You Had Seen It, Would
Have Convinced You. The Idea That You Should Marry His Daughter Is A
Nightmare To Her, Jon. I Have Nothing To Say Against Fleur Save That
She Is
Comments (0)