You're Not the Only One With Secrets - "YNTOOWS" by Lucia Roberts (books that read to you .txt) 📖

Though doing exactly as someone tells me, and having been told by Vishnu, are two things so out of the ordinary that I didn't know what to think. I shivered a little as his hands felt slowly and softly across my temples, down my neck, my shoulders, across my tattooed wings and the gapes my shirt held for them, and down my back. Right before he hit my pant line, and right below my shirt end, his hands left my back and he lightly pushed my arms down to my sides to tell me the examination was over. He looked me in the eyes just as mine fell to the floor. “Nothing was painful?” he asked. “And you'd best not lie to me.”

 “No, nothing hurt.”

“Now, will you please bring your wings out so I can check them too?” I nodded and turned my back to him again. I heard him take in a breath as they came forth, and through my shirt. I raised them slowly from their folded state just in case they were hurt. My right wing was a little sore where it met my back but it was nothing I was going to tell him; even if he did ask nicely. “Tell me immediately if anything is sore or hurt or you feel it is broken.” He started at my wing tips and brushed over every curve they held so softly that sometimes I wondered if he was even really touching them. He got close to the base of them so I held my breath as I knew it would hurt a little. He finally brushed them and a twang of pain wriggled in my stomach, but I did not release a sound; just so he wouldn't know and prolong our journey. He dropped his hands but I decided to leave them out for a while. I turned to face him and he said “We will have to wait another day and test your wings tomorrow or later in the evening to see how they're coming along.”

“But they're fine. They don't hurt.” I insisted.

 “Amaranth, you cannot lie to me. We wait.”

 “But you can't know that! I didn't say anything.”

 “You flinched.” He said. I knew he was lying. He was hiding something, and he knew I saw it in his face so he turned to walk away.

 “Are you still going to lie to me? You got the big stuff out of the way, you can't tell me everything? YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!” My senses were hazy now, the colours in the room were flashing. My voice was rising. I don't care. “And I didn't even know you did because I didn't know what you were! Can't you at least give me the same?!?” he turned to me then. He had that dark look on his face; I tensed, just a little.

“You don't want to know everything.”

“Oh, but I do. Please, tell me.” I was shaking.

He had his eyes shut tightly now. “Stop yelling, you know what that does to us.”

 “Why should I? I've held this in for days!”

 “You know who and what I am, I've been around you since I can remember, you know what I need to do, what else do you want from me?!?”

 “Why did I hear your voice in my head? Why do you know my wing hurts? Why didn't you tell me any of this before? Are you going to change back?”

 “I don't know why you heard me, I tried to make you hear me but it shouldn't have worked. I feel every amount of pain that you do! I don't want to, but something happened. I guess it must have been in my transformation to connect with you, and well, I did. I didn't tell you because I feared you hating me, and then doing something stupid and getting hurt. I had no reason to tell you because I was hunting for the dragons and did not know how you were of importance so I figured I'd wait until you had to know, and until now, you didn't absolutely have to know. I was prolonging the pain of you thinking that you were abandoned; again.” He put his hands over his face. (His HANDS!) “I should not be changing back, but, if I do... well, I don't know.” I didn't say anything. I didn't know if there was anything to be said. “I am sorry that it had to be this way. The last thing I wanted is to hurt you, Amaranth. But pain comes with everything; as I've come to find. I,” and then Elder Malachai walked in.

He had his hands folded but held one up as if to shush us “You must be lovers; work together and not fight; if you ever...”

 “That will never be.” I cut him off and briskly walked out of doors and took off into the woods.

Chapter 19 : Vishnu's POV - Acceptance

I watched her run seemingly stuck in my place. I’d have to go after her. She couldn’t get hurt again; especially not when she wasn’t yet healed. Dragons weren’t the only things in those woods. We had encountered many a crazed Centaur and Satyr, along with many other creatures of the wood. Even Falls weren’t invincible; a fact Amaranth forgot easily. My foot finally listened to my head and made a move to start after her when Malachai grabbed my arm and shook his head. “She won’t go far, Sairyn. Be patient with her.”

I eased up a small bit, still watching the open door swing in the breeze, telling every sense in my body to calm down so I don't just take off anyway. I hope this Elder is right. We don't have a lot of time left to find the dragons. A month or two at best. I can feel it in the beat of the arrow behind my ear. Subconciously I touch the pulsing shape which only confirms my fear. We're running out of time. And, not forgetting the fact that She's hurt, just makes me worry more. Ugh! A small growl escapes my lips.

"Patience, Young One." Elder says softly before padding off to some other area of the house.

I started pacing. For how long, I have no inclination. I would imagine it was a while though as I watched the sun cast it's rays across the floor and shadows dance slowly across the house until I was sure it was late in the afternoon. I'm lucky, I suppose, that there was no rut formed in the floor; else Elder may force me to do something less mind-consuming. I go to turn around for the millionth time and see Amaranth standing in the door.

She's standing just outside the barrier of the home, I guess I forgot to shut the door, her eyes and posture timid but her clothing and forward attitude was sure. She wore her orange/tan ensamble today; classic breeches and corseted top but she'd donnned a loose white, billowing shirt beneath and she carried her leather pack along with her belt. Put all of these things together and you have a stubborn Faerie who's ready to take off (with or without) permission.

"What?" she asked. I had been staring.

I bowed slightly and replied "I am only glad you have arrived back, unharmed."

"Uh-huh." She was putting on a face. "Well, are we ready?" She leaned in the doorway, even now. She was still angry, rightfully so I suppose, but it was a greivance all the same. I knew if I were to mention one word about her health she would take her leave without us.

"Let me consult Malachai. He's been hiding for a while now." I gestured to the back of the house; my eyes not leaving hers, as I could will her to stay.

"I'll find him." She said, still holding her pack and belt as she pushed past me. 'Very well' I muttered to myself; as I rubbed my fingers into my temples as I have longed to do for years of dealing with her attitudes that ranged as a world with seasons at random and off-kilter.

Chapter 20 : Mutual Agreements

I could see Malachai's dojo come into view; the door still swinging open as I'd left it many hours ago. I tried not to think back to those hours I'd spent running through the wood til I tripped and cried my fears to the woodlands . I tried not think of all those hours I'd spent trying to understand, to make sense of it all, just let my emotions run through me and re-join the earth with my tears. I wasn't going to think of that now, though. Now, I had to fight of my nerves for this task in front of me: re-entering the dojo and facing Lord Whatever once again.

I stepped up to the still open door to find my suspicions were correct; Vishnu was still there in the main room and Elder Malachai was no-where inview.

Vishnu was pacing all sorts of strange shapes and didn't notice I had arrived back. It's funny to see him pacing so, as he has always done it when he was angry or confused. Even as a puppy he did it. He probably got it from me. He still hasn't noticed me so I leaned in the door way and really looked at him hard for the first time since his change.

He still had all the wolfy features one might imagine : a long and lean stature and muscular build, angular features (especially along his face) and he still had the same jet black, shiny hair he had as wolf fur; except now it just hung in shingy cords down to his collar-bone. He had pale skin, which I'm assuming was the reason for the white fur he had. I took a brief moment to wonder if he had the arrow behind his left ear as he used to. I wanted to run a few starnds of that silky curtain behind his pointed, elvish ears and see but that would now seem too... intimate? He wasn't the same as he was before, so the gesuture wouldn't be the same.

Everything was different now.  He was now a Faerie. He was capable of speech and showing feelings; in ways other than just an eye roll or a huff or simply walking away. I could no longer interpret his feelings or 'words' as I thought correct and as he no longer (or ever was anyway) a Spirit Companion, I couldn't just assume that he would do as I needed him to; simply because I