The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens (black male authors txt) đ
- Author: Charles Dickens
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âGentlemen,â cried Mr. Pickwick, as Pott started up and seized the fire-shovelââgentlemen! Consider, for Heavenâs sakeâhelp âSamâhereâpray, gentlemenâinterfere, somebody.â
Uttering these incoherent exclamations, Mr. Pickwick rushed between the infuriated combatants just in time to receive the carpet-bag on one side of his body, and the fire-shovel on the other. Whether the representatives of the public feeling of Eatanswill were blinded by animosity, or (being both acute reasoners) saw the advantage of having a third party between them to bear all the blows, certain it is that they paid not the slightest attention to Mr. Pickwick, but defying each other with great spirit, plied the carpet-bag and the fire-shovel most fearlessly. Mr. Pickwick would unquestionably have suffered severely for his humane interference, if Mr. Weller, attracted by his masterâs cries, had not rushed in at the moment, and, snatching up a mealâsack, effectually stopped the conflict by drawing it over the head and shoulders of the mighty Pott, and clasping him tight round the shoulders.
âTake away that âere bag from the tâother madman,â said Sam to Ben Allen and Bob Sawyer, who had done nothing but dodge round the group, each with a tortoise-shell lancet in his hand, ready to bleed the first man stunned. âGive it up, you wretched little creetur, or Iâll smother you in it.â
Awed by these threats, and quite out of breath, the INDEPENDENT suffered himself to be disarmed; and Mr. Weller, removing the extinguisher from Pott, set him free with a caution.
âYou take yourselves off to bed quietly,â said Sam, âor Iâll put you both in it, and let you fight it out vith the mouth tied, as I vould a dozen sich, if they played these games. And you have the goodness to come this here way, sir, if you please.â
Thus addressing his master, Sam took him by the arm, and led him off, while the rival editors were severally removed to their beds by the landlord, under the inspection of Mr. Bob Sawyer and Mr. Benjamin Allen; breathing, as they went away, many sanguinary threats, and making vague appointments for mortal combat next day. When they came to think it over, however, it occurred to them that they could do it much better in print, so they recommenced deadly hostilities without delay; and all Eatanswill rung with their boldnessâon paper.
They had taken themselves off in separate coaches, early next morning, before the other travellers were stirring; and the weather having now cleared up, the chaise companions once more turned their faces to London.
CHAPTER LII INVOLVING A SERIOUS CHANGE IN THE WELLER FAMILY, AND THE UNTIMELY DOWNFALL OF Mr. STIGGINS
Considering it a matter of delicacy to abstain from introducing either Bob Sawyer or Ben Allen to the young couple, until they were fully prepared to expect them, and wishing to spare Arabellaâs feelings as much as possible, Mr. Pickwick proposed that he and Sam should alight in the neighbourhood of the George and Vulture, and that the two young men should for the present take up their quarters elsewhere. To this they very readily agreed, and the proposition was accordingly acted upon; Mr. Ben Allen and Mr. Bob Sawyer betaking themselves to a sequestered pot-shop on the remotest confines of the Borough, behind the bar door of which their names had in other days very often appeared at the head of long and complex calculations worked in white chalk.
âDear me, Mr. Weller,â said the pretty housemaid, meeting Sam at the door.
âDear ME I vish it vos, my dear,â replied Sam, dropping behind, to let his master get out of hearing. âWot a sweet-lookinâ creetur you are, Mary!â
âLot, Mr. Weller, what nonsense you do talk!â said Mary. âOh! donât, Mr. Weller.â
âDonât what, my dear?â said Sam.
âWhy, that,â replied the pretty housemaid. âLor, do get along with you.â Thus admonishing him, the pretty housemaid pushed Sam against the wall, declaring that he had tumbled her cap, and put her hair quite out of curl.
âAnd prevented what I was going to say, besides,â added Mary. âThereâs a letter been waiting here for you four days; you hadnât gone away, half an hour, when it came; and more than that, itâs got âimmediate,â on the outside.â
âVere is it, my love?â inquired Sam.
âI took care of it, for you, or I dare say it would have been lost long before this,â replied Mary. âThere, take it; itâs more than you deserve.â
With these words, after many pretty little coquettish doubts and fears, and wishes that she might not have lost it, Mary produced the letter from behind the nicest little muslin tucker possible, and handed it to Sam, who thereupon kissed it with much gallantry and devotion.
âMy goodness me!â said Mary, adjusting the tucker, and feigning unconsciousness, âyou seem to have grown very fond of it all at once.â
To this Mr. Weller only replied by a wink, the intense meaning of which no description could convey the faintest idea of; and, sitting himself down beside Mary on a window-seat, opened the letter and glanced at the contents.
âHollo!â exclaimed Sam, âwotâs all this?â
âNothing the matter, I hope?â said Mary, peeping over his shoulder.
âBless them eyes oâ yourn!â said Sam, looking up.
âNever mind my eyes; you had much better read your letter,â said the pretty housemaid; and as she said so, she made the eyes twinkle with such slyness and beauty that they were perfectly irresistible.
Sam refreshed himself with a kiss, and read as follows:â
âMARKIS GRAN âBy DORKEN âWensdy.
âMy DEAR SAMMLE,
âI am werry sorry to have the pleasure of being a Bear of ill news your Mother in law cort cold consekens of imprudently settin too long on the damp grass in the rain a hearing of a shepherd who warnt able to leave off till late at night owen to his having vound hisself up vith brandy and vater and not being able to stop hisself till he got a little sober which took a many hours to do the doctor says that if sheâd svalloâd varm brandy and vater artervards insted of afore she mightnât have been no vus her veels wos immedetly greased and everythink done to set her agoin as could be inwented your father had hopes as she vould have vorked round as usual but just as she wos a turnen the corner my boy she took the wrong road and vent down hill vith a welocity you never see and notvithstandin that the drag wos put on directly by the medikel man it wornt of no use at all for she paid the last pike at twenty minutes afore six oâclock yesterday evenin havin done the journey wery much under the reglar time vich praps was partly owen to her haven taken in wery little luggage by the vay your father says that if you vill come and see me Sammy he vill take it as a wery great favor for I am wery lonely Samivel n. b. he VILL have it spelt that vay vich I say ant right and as there is sich a many things to settle he is sure your guvner wont object of course he vill not Sammy for I knows him better so he sends his dooty in which I join and am Samivel infernally yours âTONY VELLER.â
âWot a incomprehensible letter,â said Sam; âwhoâs to know wot it means, vith all this he-ing and I-ing! It ainât my fatherâs writinâ, âcept this here signater in print letters; thatâs his.â
âPerhaps he got somebody to write it for him, and signed it himself afterwards,â said the pretty housemaid.
âStop a minit,â replied Sam, running over the letter again, and pausing here and there, to reflect, as he did so. âYouâve hit it. The genâlâmân as wrote it wos a-tellinâ all about the misfortunâ in a proper vay, and then my father comes a-lookinâ over him, and complicates the whole concern by puttinâ his oar in. Thatâs just the wery sort oâ thing heâd do. Youâre right, Mary, my dear.â
Having satisfied himself on this point, Sam read the letter all over, once more, and, appearing to form a clear notion of its contents for the first time, ejaculated thoughtfully, as he folded it upâ
âAnd so the poor creeturâs dead! Iâm sorry for it. She warnât a bad-disposed âooman, if them shepherds had let her alone. Iâm wery sorry for it.â
Mr. Weller uttered these words in so serious a manner, that the pretty housemaid cast down her eyes and looked very grave.
âHowsâever,â said Sam, putting the letter in his pocket with a gentle sigh, âit wos to beâand wos, as the old lady said arter sheâd married the footman. Canât be helped now, can it, Mary?â
Mary shook her head, and sighed too.
âI must apply to the hemperor for leave of absence,â said Sam.
Mary sighed againâthe letter was so very affecting.
âGood-bye!â said Sam.
âGood-bye,â rejoined the pretty housemaid, turning her head away.
âWell, shake hands, wonât you?â said Sam.
The pretty housemaid put out a hand which, although it was a housemaidâs, was a very small one, and rose to go.
âI shanât be wery long avay,â said Sam.
âYouâre always away,â said Mary, giving her head the slightest possible toss in the air. âYou no sooner come, Mr. Weller, than you go again.â
Mr. Weller drew the household beauty closer to him, and entered upon a whispering conversation, which had not proceeded far, when she turned her face round and condescended to look at him again. When they parted, it was somehow or other indispensably necessary for her to go to her room, and arrange the cap and curls before she could think of presenting herself to her mistress; which preparatory ceremony she went off to perform, bestowing many nods and smiles on Sam over the banisters as she tripped upstairs.
âI shanât be avay more than a day, or two, Sir, at the furthest,â said Sam, when he had communicated to Mr. Pickwick the intelligence of his fatherâs loss.
âAs long as may be necessary, Sam,â replied Mr. Pickwick, âyou have my full permission to remain.â
Sam bowed.
âYou will tell your father, Sam, that if I can be of any assistance to him in his present situation, I shall be most willing and ready to lend him any aid in my power,â said Mr. Pickwick.
âThankâee, sir,â rejoined Sam. âIâll mention it, sir.â
And with some expressions of mutual goodwill and interest, master and man separated.
It was just seven oâclock when Samuel Weller, alighting from the box of a stage-coach which passed through Dorking, stood within a few hundred yards of the Marquis of Granby. It was a cold, dull evening; the little street looked dreary and dismal; and the mahogany countenance of the noble and gallant marquis seemed to wear a more sad and melancholy expression than it was wont to do, as it swung to and fro, creaking mournfully in the wind. The blinds were pulled down, and the shutters partly closed; of the knot of loungers that usually collected about the door, not one was to be seen; the place was silent and desolate.
Seeing nobody of whom he could ask any preliminary questions, Sam walked softly in, and glancing round, he quickly recognised his parent in the distance.
The widower was seated at a small round table in the little room behind the bar, smoking a pipe, with his eyes intently fixed upon the fire. The funeral had evidently taken place that day, for attached to his
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