The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens (black male authors txt) đ
- Author: Charles Dickens
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âWery good, Sammy,â replied Mr. Weller, âIâm quite agreeable to anythinâ as vill hexpedite business, Sammy. But mind this here, my boy, nobody but Pellânobody but Pell as a legal adwiser.â
âI donât want anybody else,â replied Sam. âNow, are you a-cominâ?â
âVait a minit, Sammy,â replied Mr. Weller, who, having tied his shawl with the aid of a small glass that hung in the window, was now, by dint of the most wonderful exertions, struggling into his upper garments. âVait a minitâ Sammy; ven you grow as old as your father, you vonât get into your veskit quite as easy as you do now, my boy.â
âIf I couldnât get into it easier than that, Iâm blessed if Iâd vear vun at all,â rejoined his son.
âYou think so now,â said Mr. Weller, with the gravity of age, âbut youâll find that as you get vider, youâll get viser. Vidth and visdom, Sammy, alvays grows together.â
As Mr. Weller delivered this infallible maximâthe result of many yearsâ personal experience and observationâhe contrived, by a dexterous twist of his body, to get the bottom button of his coat to perform its office. Having paused a few seconds to recover breath, he brushed his hat with his elbow, and declared himself ready.
âAs four heads is better than two, Sammy,â said Mr. Weller, as they drove along the London Road in the chaise-cart, âand as all this here property is a wery great temptation to a legal genâlâmân, veâll take a couple oâ friends oâ mine vith us, asâll be wery soon down upon him if he comes anythinâ irregâlar; two oâ them as saw you to the Fleet that day. Theyâre the wery best judges,â added Mr. Weller, in a half-whisperââthe wery best judges of a horse, you ever knowâd.â
âAnd of a lawyer too?â inquired Sam.
âThe man as can form a ackerate judgment of a animal, can form a ackerate judgment of anythinâ,â replied his father, so dogmatically, that Sam did not attempt to controvert the position.
In pursuance of this notable resolution, the services of the mottled-faced gentleman and of two other very fat coachmen âselected by Mr. Weller, probably, with a view to their width and consequent wisdomâwere put into requisition; and this assistance having been secured, the party proceeded to the public-house in Portugal Street, whence a messenger was despatched to the Insolvent Court over the way, requiring Mr. Solomon Pellâs immediate attendance.
The messenger fortunately found Mr. Solomon Pell in court, regaling himself, business being rather slack, with a cold collation of an Abernethy biscuit and a saveloy. The message was no sooner whispered in his ear than he thrust them in his pocket among various professional documents, and hurried over the way with such alacrity that he reached the parlour before the messenger had even emancipated himself from the court.
âGentlemen,â said Mr. Pell, touching his hat, âmy service to you all. I donât say it to flatter you, gentlemen, but there are not five other men in the world, that Iâd have come out of that court for, to-day.â
âSo busy, eh?â said Sam.
âBusy!â replied Pell; âIâm completely sewn up, as my friend the late Lord Chancellor many a time used to say to me, gentlemen, when he came out from hearing appeals in the House of Lords. Poor fellow; he was very susceptible to fatigue; he used to feel those appeals uncommonly. I actually thought more than once that heâd have sunk under âem; I did, indeed.â
Here Mr. Pell shook his head and paused; on which, the elder Mr. Weller, nudging his neighbour, as begging him to mark the attorneyâs high connections, asked whether the duties in question produced any permanent ill effects on the constitution of his noble friend.
âI donât think he ever quite recovered them,â replied Pell; âin fact Iâm sure he never did. âPell,â he used to say to me many a time, âhow the blazes you can stand the head-work you do, is a mystery to me.âââWell,â I used to answer, âI hardly know how I do it, upon my life.âââPell,â heâd add, sighing, and looking at me with a little envyâfriendly envy, you know, gentlemen, mere friendly envy; I never minded itââPell, youâre a wonder; a wonder.â Ah! youâd have liked him very much if you had known him, gentlemen. Bring me threepennâorth of rum, my dear.â
Addressing this latter remark to the waitress, in a tone of subdued grief, Mr. Pell sighed, looked at his shoes and the ceiling; and, the rum having by that time arrived, drank it up.
âHowever,â said Pell, drawing a chair to the table, âa professional man has no right to think of his private friendships when his legal assistance is wanted. By the bye, gentlemen, since I saw you here before, we have had to weep over a very melancholy occurrence.â
Mr. Pell drew out a pocket-handkerchief, when he came to the word weep, but he made no further use of it than to wipe away a slight tinge of rum which hung upon his upper lip.
âI saw it in the ADVERTISER, Mr. Weller,â continued Pell. âBless my soul, not more than fifty-two! Dear meâonly think.â
These indications of a musing spirit were addressed to the mottled-faced man, whose eyes Mr. Pell had accidentally caught; on which, the mottled-faced man, whose apprehension of matters in general was of a foggy nature, moved uneasily in his seat, and opined that, indeed, so far as that went, there was no saying how things was brought about; which observation, involving one of those subtle propositions which it is difficult to encounter in argument, was controverted by nobody.
âI have heard it remarked that she was a very fine woman, Mr. Weller,â said Pell, in a sympathising manner.
âYes, sir, she wos,â replied the elder Mr. Weller, not much relishing this mode of discussing the subject, and yet thinking that the attorney, from his long intimacy with the late Lord Chancellor, must know best on all matters of polite breeding. âShe wos a wery fine âooman, sir, ven I first knowâd her. She wos a widder, sir, at that time.â
âNow, itâs curious,â said Pell, looking round with a sorrowful smile; âMrs. Pell was a widow.â
âThatâs very extraordinary,â said the mottled-faced man.
âWell, it is a curious coincidence,â said Pell.
âNot at all,â gruffly remarked the elder Mr. Weller. âMore widders is married than single wimin.â
âVery good, very good,â said Pell, âyouâre quite right, Mr. Weller. Mrs. Pell was a very elegant and accomplished woman; her manners were the theme of universal admiration in our neighbourhood. I was proud to see that woman dance; there was something so firm and dignified, and yet natural, in her motion. Her cutting, gentlemen, was simplicity itself. Ah! well, well! Excuse my asking the question, Mr. Samuel,â continued the attorney in a lower voice, âwas your mother-in-law tall?â
âNot wery,â replied Sam.
âMrs. Pell was a tall figure,â said Pell, âa splendid woman, with a noble shape, and a nose, gentlemen, formed to command and be majestic. She was very much attached to meâvery muchâ highly connected, too. Her motherâs brother, gentlemen, failed for eight hundred pounds, as a law stationer.â
âVell,â said Mr. Weller, who had grown rather restless during this discussion, âvith regard to bisâness.â
The word was music to Pellâs ears. He had been revolving in his mind whether any business was to be transacted, or whether he had been merely invited to partake of a glass of brandy-and- water, or a bowl of punch, or any similar professional compliment, and now the doubt was set at rest without his appearing at all eager for its solution. His eyes glistened as he laid his hat on the table, and saidâ
âWhat is the business upon whichâum? Either of these gentlemen wish to go through the court? We require an arrest; a friendly arrest will do, you know; we are all friends here, I suppose?â
âGive me the dockyment, Sammy,â said Mr. Weller, taking the will from his son, who appeared to enjoy the interview amazingly. âWot we rekvire, sir, is a probe oâ this here.â
âProbate, my dear Sir, probate,â said Pell.
âWell, sir,â replied Mr. Weller sharply, âprobe and probe it, is wery much the same; if you donât understand wot I mean, sir, I des-say I can find them as does.â
âNo offence, I hope, Mr. Weller,â said Pell meekly. âYou are the executor, I see,â he added, casting his eyes over the paper.
âI am, sir,â replied Mr. Weller.
âThese other gentlemen, I presume, are legatees, are they?â inquired Pell, with a congratulatory smile.
âSammy is a leg-at-ease,â replied Mr. Weller; âthese other genâlâmân is friends oâ mine, just come to see fair; a kind of umpires.â
âOh!â said Pell, âvery good. I have no objections, Iâm sure. I shall want a matter of five pound of you before I begin, ha! ha! ha!â
It being decided by the committee that the five pound might be advanced, Mr. Weller produced that sum; after which, a long consultation about nothing particular took place, in the course whereof Mr. Pell demonstrated to the perfect satisfaction of the gentlemen who saw fair, that unless the management of the business had been intrusted to him, it must all have gone wrong, for reasons not clearly made out, but no doubt sufficient. This important point being despatched, Mr. Pell refreshed himself with three chops, and liquids both malt and spirituous, at the expense of the estate; and then they all went away to Doctorsâ Commons.
The next day there was another visit to Doctorsâ Commons, and a great to-do with an attesting hostler, who, being inebriated, declined swearing anything but profane oaths, to the great scandal of a proctor and surrogate. Next week, there were more visits to Doctorsâ Commons, and there was a visit to the Legacy Duty Office besides, and there were treaties entered into, for the disposal of the lease and business, and ratifications of the same, and inventories to be made out, and lunches to be taken, and dinners to be eaten, and so many profitable things to be done, and such a mass of papers accumulated that Mr. Solomon Pell, and the boy, and the blue bag to boot, all got so stout that scarcely anybody would have known them for the same man, boy, and bag, that had loitered about Portugal Street, a few days before.
At length all these weighty matters being arranged, a day was fixed for selling out and transferring the stock, and of waiting with that view upon Wilkins Flasher, Esquire, stock-broker, of somewhere near the bank, who had been recommended by Mr. Solomon Pell for the purpose.
It was a kind of festive occasion, and the parties were attired accordingly. Mr. Wellerâs tops were newly cleaned, and his dress was arranged with peculiar care; the mottled-faced gentleman wore at his buttonhole a full-sized dahlia with several leaves; and the coats of his two friends were adorned with nosegays of laurel and other evergreens. All three were habited in strict holiday costume; that is to say, they were wrapped up to the chins, and wore as many clothes as possible, which is, and has been, a stage-coachmanâs idea of full dress ever since stage-coaches were invented.
Mr. Pell was waiting at the usual place of meeting at the appointed time; even he wore a pair of gloves and a clean shirt, much frayed at the collar and wristbands by frequent washings.
âA quarter to two,â said Pell, looking at the parlour clock. âIf we are with Mr. Flasher at a quarter past, we shall just hit the best time.â
âWhat should you say to a drop oâ beer, genâlâmân?â suggested the mottled-faced man. âAnd a little
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