Hypatia — or New Foes with an Old Face by Charles Kingsley (pocket ebook reader .txt) 📖

‘Do you want a blue ribbon round those white sides of yours, you monkey?’ answered Orestes. ‘Because, if you do, the hippopotamus hide hangs ready outside.’

‘Let us make him kneel down here for a couple of hours, and use him as a dice-board,’ said Raphael, ‘as you used to do to the girls in Armenia.’

‘Ah, you recollect that?—and how the barbarian papas used to grumble, till I had to crucify one or two, eh? That was something like life! I love those out-of-the-way stations, where nobody asks questions: but here one might as well live among the monks in Nitria. Here comes Canidia! Ah, the answer? Hand it here, my queen of go-betweens!’

Orestes read it—and his countenance fell.

‘I have won?’

‘Out of the room, slaves! and no listening!’

‘I have won then?’

Orestes tossed the letter across to him, and Raphael read—

‘The immortal gods accept no divided worship; and he who would command the counsels of their prophetess must remember that they will vouchsafe to her no illumination till their lost honours be restored. If he who aspires to be the lord of Africa dare trample on the hateful cross, and restore the Caesareum to those for whose worship it was built—if he dare proclaim aloud with his lips, and in his deeds, that contempt for novel and barbarous superstitions, which his taste and reason have already taught him, then he would prove himself one with whom it were a glory to labour, to dare, to die in a great cause. But till then—’

And so the letter ended.

‘What am I to do?’

‘Take her at her word.’

‘Good heavens! I shall be excommunicated! And—and—what is to become of my soul?’

‘What will become of it in any case, my most excellent lord?’ answered Raphael blandly.

‘You mean—I know what you cursed Jews think will happen to every one but yourselves. But what would the world say? I an apostate! And in the face of Cyril and the populace! I daren’t, I tell you!’

‘No one asked your excellency to apostatise.’

‘Why, what? What did you say just now?’

‘I asked you to promise. It will not be the first time that promises before marriage have not exactly coincided with performance afterwards.’

‘I daren’t—that is, I won’t promise. I believe, now, this is some trap of your Jewish intrigue, just to make me commit myself against those Christians, whom you hate.’

‘I assure you, I despise all mankind far too profoundly to hate them. How disinterested my advice was when I proposed this match to you, you never will know; indeed, it would be boastful in me to tell you. But really you must make a little sacrifice to win this foolish girl. With all the depth and daring of her intellect to help you, you might be a match for Romans, Byzantines, and Goths at once. And as for beauty—why, there is one dimple inside that wrist, just at the setting on of the sweet little hand, worth all the other flesh and blood in Alexandria.’

‘By Jove! you admire her so much, I suspect you must be in love with her yourself. Why don’t you marry her? I’ll make you my prime minister, and then we shall have the use of her wits without the trouble of her fancies. By the twelve Gods! If you marry her and help me, I’ll make you what you like!’

Raphael rose and bowed to the earth.

‘Your serene high-mightiness overwhelms me. But I assure you, that never having as yet cared for any one’s interest but my own, I could not be expected, at my time of life, to devote myself to that of another, even though it were to yours.’

‘Candid!’

‘Exactly so; and moreover, whosoever I may marry, will be practically, as well as theoretically, my private and peculiar property.... You comprehend.’

‘Candid again.’

‘Exactly so; and waiving the third argument, that she probably might not choose to marry me, I beg to remark that it would not be proper to allow the world to say, that I, the subject, had a wiser and fairer wife than you, the ruler; especially a wife who bad already refused that ruler’s complimentary offer.’

‘By Jove! and she has refused me in good earnest! I’ll make her repent it! I was a fool to ask her at all! What’s the use of having guards, if one can’t compel what one wants? If fair means can’t do it, foul shall! I’ll send for her this moment!’

‘Most illustrious majesty—it will not succeed. You do not know that woman’s determination. Scourges and red-hot pincers will not shake her, alive; and dead, she will be of no use whatsoever to you, while she will be of great use to Cyril.’

‘How?’

‘He will be most happy to make the whole story a handle against you, give out that she died a virgin-martyr, in defence of the most holy catholic and apostolic faith, get miracles worked at her tomb, and pull your palace about your ears on the strength thereof.’

‘Cyril will hear of it anyhow: that’s another dilemma into which you have brought me, you intriguing rascal! Why, this girl will be boasting all over Alexandria that I have offered her marriage, and that she has done herself the honour to refuse me!’

‘She will be much too wise to do anything of the kind; she has sense enough to know that if she did so, you would inform a Christian populace what conditions she offered you, and, with all her contempt for the burden of the flesh, she has no mind to be lightened of that pretty load by being torn in pieces by Christian monks; a very probable ending for her in any case, as she herself, in her melancholy moods, confesses!’

‘What will you have me do then?’

‘Simply nothing. Let the prophetic spirit go out of her, as it will, in a day or two, and then—I know nothing of human nature, if she does not bate a little of her own price. Depend on it, for all her ineffabilities, and impassibilities, and all the rest of the seventh-heaven moonshine at which we play here in Alexandria, a throne is far too pretty a bait for even Hypatia the pythoness to refuse. Leave well alone is a good rule, but leave ill alone is a better. So now another bet before we part, and this time three to one. Do nothing either way, and she sends to you of her own accord before a month is out. In Caucasian mules? Done? Be it so.’

‘Well, you are the most charming counsellor for a poor perplexed devil of a prefect! If I had but a private fortune like you, I could just take the money, and let the work do itself.’