Contingent Liability by Kevin Miller (story books for 5 year olds .TXT) 📖

was murder. I got in a fight with my supervisor and had to kill him.

Suki: meow, meow, meow

Clarissa: I know! It was horrible. I’m glad dad taught me what he did though, or else I would be the one dead!

Suki: meow, meow, meow

Clarissa: yes, I stabbed him in the heart and then decapitated him! It was just instinct!

Suki: meow, purr, purr, meow

Clarissa: Thanks, Suki, I’m glad that you understand. I wish all people could be as understanding as you!

Suki: meow, meow, MEOW!

Clarissa: Ok! You can have the chicken, here.

As Clarissa was dishing out chicken to the cat, the telephone rings. Rather than answer the phone, she is content to let it go to the answering machine.

Mysterious Voice: Clarissa Jenkins, this is your new supervisor. We will be reorganizing the department in the morning and request that you get to work at least 30 minutes early. Failure to arrive at that time will be considered tardy, and you will get a formal warning. I’m sure we will see eye to eye and will work together fine. <click>

Clarissa was nervous. They replaced that supervisor fast, and what was the reorganization about? Was I watched – a shiver went up her spine.

Losing her appetite, Clarissa takes a long hot bath and calls it a night early. Suki agrees and curls up on the bed and they both fall asleep, not knowing what to expect the next day.

Chapter 4

Clarissa decides to get to work an hour early, to avoid any confusion. It’s a good thing she does, because the new supervisor had revised the work start time and “forgot” to call her. The staff was assembled in the large auditorium.

The new supervisors where there, each as ugly and menacing as the other. The first supervisor was huge, over six feet tall and easily 230 lbs. A large scar ran down his face and his false eye was tinted like flames. He wore a casual business outfit with khakis and blue oxford shirt. His casual shoes were steel toed.

The second supervisor was a woman, athletic and shapely with very long dark hair braided like a whip. She wore a business suit that was dark gray and pinstriped. She was not smiling.

New Supervisor #1: We are you new supervisors. From now on this department will be split into accounts receivable and accounts payable. You will receive an e-mail today informing you of your department assignment. I am in charge of the accounts receivable and my name is Günter Herzegovina, but you will call me sir.

The door opens and Clarissa winces as one of her colleagues arrives late. It’s Todd from the copy room. Supervisor #1 brandishes a broad sword and hurls it at Todd, with a loud thud Todd is lifted in the air and pinned to the door – the sword lodged in his chest. Todd never whelped but was killed instantly.

New Supervisor #2: Tardiness will not be tolerated. It will be dealt with in the harshest way. I want you to remember that you work for us. We expect immediate obedience and hesitation will be counted as failure. I am Katya Ivanov, but you will not speak to me unless I ask you a question and then you will refer to me as Mistress.

Katya notices that one of the employees in back is wearing blue jeans. In one smooth movement she throws two knives, striking the employee in the head and heart. The employee is killed instantly and falls ragdoll to the ground. She then leaves her podium and retrieves her knives, wiping the blood on the victim’s jeans. Then she speaks, using a knife as a pointer.

Katya: This wouldn’t have happened if this employee followed the dress code! We will be handing out new employee handbooks today with 1263 new or updated rules. Learn them and you will live. Now get back to work or feel our wrath!

All the employees immediately standup and file out of the auditorium. Once the room is emptied, Katya and Günter turn to a side room and enter, taking their seats at the end of a long table. The chair at the far end of the table is turned around facing the window.

HR Manager: I heard your presentation, well done. I liked the examples you made, good thinking.

He swings around and looks at his workers and claps.

Katya and Günter: Thank you sir.

HR Manager: I am revising the handbook to include 800 more items, including drinking fountain usage, personal items in the cubicle, and approved forms of groveling when being tortured. Let’s crush their little rebellion once and for all.

Katya: We live to serve you, Manager!

Günter: We shall carry out your orders as requested.

HR Manager: Who do you serve?

Katya and Günter: HR Manager!

HR Manager: Serve me well and in time you will be greatly rewarded. Ha, ha, ha!!!

Chapter 5

The CEO and the Network Overlord are looking at the security monitors together, watching and listening in on the HR Manager’s conversation.

CEO: Well, well, well. Is he planning a revolt against me?

Network OL: It is pointless to resist…

CEO: What did I say about Star Wars! But yes, it would be pointless.

Network OL: Shall I dispatch my Senior Tech squad to work on his pocket pc?

CEO: Not just yet. Let’s keep this between us and see where it starts to lead.

Network OL: I will monitor the situation. I think he needs a new laptop…

CEO: Excellent plan, make sure it sends me a copy of everything he does – I will control this personally.

Network OL: Yes, my master.

CEO: Excellent….

The Network Overlord then leaves to procure a new laptop for the HR Manager. The CEO stares out his window at the parking lot, looking to see if an employee has too nice a vehicle.

The Network OL arrives back in his office and sequesters himself in his dungeon with a brand new Dell Laptop. He begins to load layers of spy ware onto the laptop and points all the programs back to his desk, with some of the programs copying the CEO. One of the help desk lackeys enters the room.

Help Desk Lackey #1: Sir, that rebel scum is here, we are tracking her access.

Network OL: Excellent, our first catch of the day!

They both laugh at the Star Wars reference and begin discussing the trailer for Episode X. After 27 minutes they return to the conversation they had started.

Network OL: …so my new Vader suit will be done within a week.

Help Desk Lackey #1: Excellent! I’ll wear my Storm Trooper armor and we can go to lunch! Anyways, shall we throw any surprises at her? Maybe a password trap door? Lock out her account?

Network OL: No, not yet. You must learn to be patient, only then can you truly begin to destroy. Remember, what is best in life?

Help Desk Lackey #1: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their hard drives.

Network OL: You are learning well, GO! Do my bidding!

Help Desk Lackey #1: Yes, Network Overlord!

The help desk lackey turns and leaves, closing the door behind him. The network overlord returns to his secret project with the laptop.

Chapter 6

Morning Break time, Clarissa is getting ready to leave her desk to grab something out of the vending machine, when she hears a ruckus. She stands up and attempts to peer over her cube, but the wall is too high, so she stands on a tax code book. Günter is beating an employee with a keyboard. Clarissa can’t let this go on.

Using her stealth abilities, she creeps up and at the last moment blocks the downswing of the keyboard with her sword.

Günter: Are you challenging me????????

Clarissa: …I guess…

Günter: What speak up, I didn’t hear you, mouse.

Clarissa: YES, blockhead! I am challenging you.

Günter: Terrific, I need to wet my blade with the blood of a nerd.

Clarissa: You can try, but I think I’m getting fairly good at this.

Günter pulls out his large two handed broadsword and takes a mighty swing at Clarissa. She ducks but the blade sheers off the top of a filing cabinet. Clarissa flips backwards and lands in the open common area by the fax machine and printers. Günter lumbers after her.

Clarissa takes a strike at Günter with her katana; he starts to move but gets nicked in his left shoulder. He smiles.

Günter: Good, you managed to draw first blood.

Clarissa: It’s just the beginning.

Günter then tries a thrust with the broadsword, but Clarissa is much too agile for such a cumbersome weapon.

Katya was watching the fight and decided she should weigh into the battle. She pulls out her double short swords and whirls into action.

Clarissa senses trouble and jumps into the air, missing Katya’s whirling strike by inches. Günter throws his broadsword at Clarissa while she is still in the air, she spins to avoid the throw sword – which still makes a slice on her leg. She lands hard, but recovers in time to parry the dual short swords swung by Katya. Clarissa manages to push Katya backwards and flings a pair of shuriken at Günter; both catch the side of his head.

Now with Katya to deal with, Clarissa circles around. Katya strikes at her with a furious volley of blows that Clarissa is barely able to block.

Katya: You look tired; maybe you should take a break?

Clarissa: I will, as soon as you are gone.

Katya: Don’t forget to mark it on your timesheet!

Katya strikes both swords at Clarissa’s head, but Clarissa manages to grab Katya’s wrists and stop the thrust. Using all her strength, Clarissa bends back Katya’s wrists and uses the dual short swords like a giant pair of scissors to remove Katya’s head. Blood spurts everywhere!

Clarissa begins to rest when she hears movement from where Günter was lying. With expert timing, she thrusts her katana backwards and pierces