Fifty Shades Of Him by Belina Sainju, Anugya Kunwar (e reading malayalam books .TXT) 📖

 

Chapter 1

 

 

No, you don't know what its like

When nothing feels alright,

You don't know what its like

To be like me...

To be hurt,

To be lost,

To be left out in the dark

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

To be like me...

Welcome to my life!

As the music soothes me down, with the tune almost sedative and giving me the sensation that someone in this big world is there to understand me and my situation. I get up from my bed in a hope of leaving all the negative vibes behind and make my way to my study table. Sighing, I sit down on my chair and pour the chain of my thoughts on my new journal. A sense of déjà vu washes over me, reminding of the times I cried and poured my heart out scribbling on journals after journals to vent out the vehement feelings, to calm my heart which with every second pumped nothing but acid, leaving burning trails behind. But I promise this journal will be something new...

Dear diary,

Beginnings can be difficult. Even worse when the past you have is overwhelming and full of rue and the future? You are never sure what's going to happen.

Ugh!! Well sorry; I won't make this journal like the previous ones too. I need to get this out of my head.

"Cece, think positive"

Whew! Ok so this is my new journal as I said a new chapter but (well yeah there are always buts) the irony of the situation is that the new chapter is just from a story of the past.

Woodsville - a small town yet connected with all the big memories I kept buried, with a promise to never glance at again. Moving out from here was like 5 years ago. The town has changed a lot. Many people moved out for elite lives and many people remained the same. I also moved out of the town because the town where I felt so secured once was then becoming the sole reason of my misery. Well let's not dwell in the past.... So after 6 years, now it's the same town but a different house.

Yippee!! NOT. Any how tomorrow is the first day of my high school. More like hell hole. Its mum's idea of me having fun, making friends and well, what can I do? She has seen enough and has had enough share of misery and I don't want to add more to that. So? I heed to her words to go to school with a smile and try to have a normal life.

Pft!! I must feel proud of myself somewhere along the line of being happy but all I feel is trepidation. That sick feeling at the pit of my stomach is gnawing me inside. Bleh! Sucks to be me. But it's not my fault that my own heart doesn't believe in me when I say "It's going to be fine "

Yep consequence of having the heart not listening to my brain. Blame my heart people not me!

Oops! Midnight already. Good night.

-Cecilia Alison Winston.

The chirping of the tiny birds outside engendered me to flutter my eyes open. With the morning sunlight blazing through the window and the systematic rhythm of the moving curtains due to the gentle wind of the morning enlightened the almost debacle hope within me. Yes indeed the morning had infested hope in me. Well what can I say, that's how I wanted to wake up with the sun blazing ad stuff but nope.

Here I was tangled with my own bed sheet and drool stains and an outrageous urge to snap at my mum who whilst I try to free myself from this deadly trap is shouting yes I repeat shouting at me to get my ass downstairs.

Ugh!! As I graciously *coughs* get out of my bed which includes me stumbling 3 times I can see that its 8:15 already. My mind takes almost 5 minutes to register that I am already 30 minutes late as the school starts at 9:00. I've got almost 25 minutes to get ready.

Well... cancel those 20 minutes now. I rush to the bathroom thanking the lord for giving me the brains of having my outfit ready yesterday. Pft!! Don't think I was all enthusiastic about that. My mom had to lecture me for an hour to get my lazy butt out of the couch and to select a perfect outfit: black skinny jeans and plain white long sleeved tee. "Perfect" I know. Did I mention my hair looks like a bird's nest, all messed up so to make it presentable I quickly comb my hair with none other than my hand into a messy yet presentable ponytail "Cecilia honey? Get down here breakfast is ready"

Whoa what got my mother chirpy all of a sudden? Is she PMSing?

"Yes mum 5 minutes "I screeched rolling my eyes.

Applying thin line of eyeliner and mascara with a tinge of lip-gloss I was ready "taddaa" I sling my bag as I head downstairs I pray to god to help me through the day with a promise that,I too will try be happy and to be that Cecelia again, the one before I changed just for my mum who is keen to start a normal life.

When I hear noises coming from the kitchen curiosity gets the best of me and soon I am heading towards the source of the sound. My mouth formed a "perfect O" seeing the girl beside my mum talking animatedly.

The same girl who accused me of stealing her best friend at the age of 9 which by the way when I think right now is pretty hilarious. On the serious note standing in front of me with gleaming eyes and a goofy grin was my childhood enemy but now my one and only best friend the one who knew my past yet welcomed me with open arms. The most important and influential reason I agreed to be back to town so here I present my frienemy CAROLINE SIMPSON.

Sooner I was out of my breath because of the bone crushing hug I was getting. "Cece, oh god!!!! I missed you. Wait have you got a little tanner over the holidays?? And I seriously love those jeans and god, we are already 16 and first years now like OMFGEE." She squealed. I just rolled my eyes .

I know what you are thinking?? How did we become friends ? Long story short , when I was sucked by the black hole , this enthusiastic Caroline was the one who helped me see the world without the dark clouds . Man she was persistent whew! But I am glad she did what she did.

"Ok girls sorry to cut the reunion short but chop chop," Mum said clapping her hands, "You will get late, hurry now and eat your breakfast."

After devouring the delicious pancakes and almost puking at the sight of Care eating grass oops I mean "salad" we were good to go.

"How are you?" Caroline asked her voice dropping down so my mother couldn't hear her.

"I am coping Care , it's a little difficult but when I have such an over enthusiastic best fried how can I ever be depressed?" I said sighing over dramatically as we headed to her car.

"Puh-lease" she said smacking me playfully.

I poked my tongue out. Yep we are mature as the 5 year olds.

"Wait Care! I forgot something." "Oh god! Cece, quick." I hurried back to the house. My mum looked at me puzzled.

"Cece, what are yo...." I cut her off my plating a kiss o the cheek. "Love you mum." I shouted leaving her speechless.

As I said "A NEW BEGINING."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"OMG! Are you Einstein's child? "

"Care stop over reacting." I sighed.

"Oh please! You have taken 5 advanced classes. Are we even allowed to do that?" she asked looking oblivious.

"Nope we are not allowed." I said rolling my eyes.

"But then how are you?"

"Care! That was sarcasm genius. I have already got the routine with the advanced classes included. If we are not allowed how would I have gotten it?"

"Umm... maybe you are having an affair with the principal ." she said wiggling her eyebrows.

"Ewwwww!!!" I groaned. Why am I even friends with you??" I said smacking her playfully as we made our way to our first class which with our luck was the same; algebra.

30 minutes later here we were already exhausted. Caroline looked like she was about to sleep. I stifled a laugh.

"You are enjoying my misery aren't you?" she hissed.

"What?" I said feigning innocence.

The sweet bell rang marking the end of the period was like a relief to us. Don't get me wrong I love algebra but learning the same thing again is boring.

"You looked like you understood everything that ugly teacher wrote on that board." She said pointing at me accusingly as if what I did was a crime.

"Care how many times should I say, I love algebra! Remember when I was all depressed, all I did was study. That's how I got 5 advanced classes ."I said tapping my temples to emphasize my intelligence.

"Bleh! I don't think I will see the letter X again in my life. I won't even text someone with a XOXO In the end." She said dramatically.

That got me laughing out so hysterically that I nearly snorted.

"Now shoo!! You sadist girl who enjoys my misery. Go to literature now and tell me out the hot 2nd years. "She said with her eyes twinkling.

"Yep, I can't wait "I said sarcastically.

"Oh god! You and your sarcasm. Go give it a rest."

"Aye aye !! Captain." I said with a mock solute.

"Shoooo!!" she said laughing .

As I made my way to the class self consciousness passed through me. Things like "what will they think, a junior attending advanced literature" and stuff. I kept these silly thoughts aside ad walked inside the aura of confidence surrounding me. Though inside? Was a complete different story.

"Hey chic!!" a senior called out.

I chose to ignore it and made my way to the back of the class. Sitting on the corner I arranged my books and was ready for my favorite subject to start, as the teacher came the whole class fell silent. This gave me the sense that this teacher was strict but soon this perception was lost when he introduced himself with a friendly gesture as Mr. Evans and told us about the class and his syllabus. I took out my notebook and copied the notes. I am a nerd sue me!

"Sorry I'm late."

All the eyes were now fixed on the speaker, to be honest, I was pretty annoyed. I mean seriously he interrupted such a good introduction.

"Ugh..."

I lifted my eyes to see the speaker.

Grinning with no care at all but his looks and demeanor showed that in spite of his appearance he had respect for the teacher. Careless yet respectful, I know it's paradoxical but we'll it's what I saw.

"Malik stop grinning and come in."

****

 

 

Chapter 2 : "Would you care to explain what the hotty was talking about?"

Chapter 2 : "Would you care to explain what the hotty was talking about?"

 

"So class before I continue, I would