somewhere on my way by Anna N. Schnieden (best ebook pdf reader android .TXT) đ
- Author: Anna N. Schnieden
Book online «somewhere on my way by Anna N. Schnieden (best ebook pdf reader android .TXT) đ». Author Anna N. Schnieden
âExactly, Moony. Weâre bloody kidsâŠhe he.â Me.
âOh come on, God has plans. There are very few best friends who love and understand each other like you guys. Donât you think maybe this is his plan?â Mr. Moody Be Good.
âI donât understand this bitch (me) and I have no choice!! Ok! It looks like he made mistakes. So, he sent me a bitchy one, is that what you believe?â Moonlight.
âOh well, maybe thatâs it, Moony. Maybe heâs actually atâŠthe godâs palace? And he did say, âOopsâ when we landed on this earth. So, he gave me you.â Me.
âOh, for fuck sake. Are you really that dumb Aye? What the fuck could a 7-year-old do forâŠa 6-year-oldâŠshitty child? Did I mention an event about myself? You two are so hopeless!!â Moonlight.
âMoony, god or not, Iâm lucky, I have you!â Me.
âMe too. Youâre my worst nightmare!â Moonlight.
That was how it had become my real interest, I wanted to know what other religionists would say or other agnostic intelligentsias would say. Therefore, every time and everywhere I went, the god was one of 10 things to do inâŠwherever I was.
I started with Buddha, a title given to the founder of Buddhism in northeastern India in the 5th century. The wisdom of freedom from suffering from aspirations and desires for pleasure, monks who are ordained, having the authority to perform certain rites, the community of men typically living under vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, they wear orange shaolin and they are hard to miss. The orange colours are different depending on the countries, traditions, and denominations. Furthermore, the monks ingest once or twice a day depending on which denomination they are, they do not live with their family, only a short visitation or occasional matters, those whose wives are living are forbidden to go home.
Buddhists give the essential needs; food needs are put together (even if they are not compatible) into a monkâs bowl, typically black. Meal times are early until 8:00 am and 11:30 am until 1:00 pm, and if they miss their meals, they can only drink milk or water. Those who have a meal only once a day do not drink after 1:00 pm. I was thinking, âWow, they really get to the point of Buddhaâs doctrineâŠcool, letâs visit them shall we, Mr. Lunatic? Ms. Conscience?â When things need a full resolve, I always need every resident in my skullâŠand circumspection is required!
My first stop was not far from Bangkok, toward the southern provinces. A temple with a reputation for spiritual being believed to act as an attendant in a very fashionable way, Tattoos! I was thinking what a thoughtfulâŠinteresting idea! There were many kinds of animal allegories, the spiritual of luck and protection.
Allegories meaning:
Tiger: Strong, fast, and lucky; good for boxers, police, and soldiers.
Monkey: Clever, persevering, love and money; good for businessmen, businesswomen, students, and appears to be a common allegory.
Bird (only in Buddhistsâ fairy tales, looks like a miniature eagle): Intelligent, studious, judgment, and does well in business; good for lawyers, students, teachers, and business planners.
I did not go on more than that because I was getting dizzy, too many of them. However, I had been persuaded about the theory of the superpower of the allegories, so I picked the birdy one. Well, I was hoping to have some remedy for my dull-wittedness.
First things first, I bought an offering, which was flowers, 3 burnable incense sticks wrapped with a banana leaf, and an envelope for money-giving. Then I gave it to a monk who was also a tattooist with a 70-centimetre slender needle in his hand. I was going to change my mind, but my workers said, âCome on, don't be a chicken!â Sure, no problem! The needle needs to be long because monks cannot touch women, girls, little girls, and baby girls!
It was painful; it did not feel like an actual tattooâŠit felt like I had been stabbed; good thing I picked a miniature bird for my miniature arm. The last stop for this miracle tattooâŠallegoryâŠcure? I needed to be activated by the headmaster of the temple, who was also a monk, he blew on my head with some words that are believed to be an ancient language originally from Cambodia in the 1000s BC, and some believed it was a dark magic.
I got migraines a lot from learning all that. My original plan was not about a miracle cure for stupidly, but to demonstrate the existing fact of the miracle allegory. I thought, âWonderful, if it works, I will beâŠnew meâŠawesome!!â However, I had to wait for the results of my demonstration another 4 months. It was March 10 to March 15, and while I was waiting, I had learnt that they were decent about making money, at least; the headmaster built a school, a hospital, a shelter, and an orphan home, fair enough I think. I also learnt that after being a monk for a couple of years they have approximately, 200,000 baht in their savings, I guess, because everything is free, additional donations and a lot, a lot of stairways to heaven. Therefore, the number of savings seems to be accurate, and many monks actually were in heavenâŠbeforeâŠ.in hell!
Breaking News, police arrested a popular respected monk in a 5-star hotel with a young womanâŠdoing bedtimeâs story! Caught a monk in a disco club! Arrested a monkâŠdoing bedtimeâs story with a young boy! It was on and on at the time like fashion shows!
Bombshell, some Thai residents captured pictures of a monk doingâŠhmmâŠbedtimeâs story withâŠa dog behind a temple! I had to admit, that was overwhelmingly imaginable impetuous passion; I mean, I love dogs too, but⊠That was too muchâŠ.imaginableâŠloveâŠ? for me.
Up north, monks seemed to like restaurants; I donât blame them, it is better than walking in the morning with a giant bowlâŠlooking for food! They also liked malls and markets, oh, and coffee shops for afternoon snacks with 2 iPhones, 1 iPad andâŠ.servants. Some said they also collected interestâŠcool, monks with talentsâŠniceâŠdone! On Valentineâs days, I saw some of them, buying flowers, red roses, and chocolate or girlsâ things. I was not sure what happened to the nomenclature of poverty and chastity.
Although, I was told that there are some temples, in some forests and valleys that literally obey to the vows, I was going to go once, but the road to there was fissuring, no houses and no cell phone signal. Moonlight said if I did not turn around, she was going to kill meâŠtwice! I did not find out if it is a place of privilege or not. However, from the
half of the way I drove, the monks over there are possibly religious and traditional likeâŠno heavenâŠno hell.
The day of the moment of truth had come: March 10, 1990, was a spiritual awakening. Everyone who had a tattoo or more andâŠmore tattoos needed to be in the present moment. So did I! There were tiny white ropes on the templeâs fence, trees, roofs, and hydro poles. The monks were gathering in a big circle and in the middle of the circle was a gigantic white table, which was full of objects that were about to becomeâŠprodigious. Such as Buddha statues (Prince Siddhartha Gautama) in different sizes, water bottles filled up withâŠI believe it was oil, which had expired scorpions or snakes or millipedes drowned inside them. I was informed by a lady who stood beside me that the bottles were ingredients of magical potions; each arthropod had its power. She also gave me a tip:
âIf you want a man to fall in love with you, obsessively, put your first period in a soup or a coffee, and make him drink it. Write his name with your period on a paper at midnight and burn it. But beware of Cambodiansâ dark magic, it is very strong! You want me to help you?â The lady.
âAhmmâŠIâm fine with myself at the moment. Thank you for the information!â Me.
Well, I had never dared the experimental lovesickâŠCambodiansâ magic because I was thinking,
âWhat if after thatâŠparticular procedure, I find out that he does not have a giant male genital organ, but a small sparrow, what am I gonna do with him? Clearly, I canât dump him, can I? Donât even think about if I spell his name wrong, then I might end up with another man...or worse! The better way is to leave it alone!â Me, thinking.
Another reason I was there was because I was told that the activation reflected individual magical influence, it depended on animal allegories! For example, whoever had a snake tattoo would serpentine homogeneously. I was so excited!
As soon as the monks said the last word of the magical spell, some believers started shaking, some started crawling, some started yelling, some started screaming andâŠup on a tree or with legs and hands walking together on 4WD. When I turned my face back to talk to the lady, she disappeared, but an attention caught my eyes. There was the lady, rubbing her face on the sandy ground, so I pulled her up as soon as I could, but it was too late, her face was covered with sand and someâŠbloodyâŠand both of her hands were bleeding!
âWhy did you do that? I was going to become a snake!!â The lady, and the angry eyes.
âOh, please donât do that. Youâre beautiful. Fuck the magic shit.â Me.
âIf you stop me again, Iâll bite you. Do you understand?â The lady.
Undoubtedly, she was aware of her actions, nothing to do with magical influence, so I just let her be; besides, I did not want to get bit. Before I was going to move away, a man behind me asked,
âDo you believe in thisâŠcrazy?â The man.
âWell, I donât know yet. Iâm waiting to fly. A girl can dream!â Me.
He was going to say more, but a human with 4 feet was running toward to myâŠupright position. I could not fly yet, so I used my natural ability, ran to my car, which was just right behind me (after I burnt 3 dead bodies without recognizing them, the templeâs keeper gave me a private parkingâŠspot?) The human with 4 feet stopped just only a foot from my car; I was not sure what my car insurance would have done if thatâŠ4WD human decided to strike!
At the end of the ritual, the tattooist said, âRemember, boys, donât be under women or womenâs clothing. The spells will wash away!â HmmâŠhe did not mention girls??? I did not try to discover the interpretation for girls and I did not bother to ask because by the end of the day, no flying for me. Moonlight said, âMaybe your bird is too small!!â
I met the headmaster of the templeâŠonce, he was respected as a supernatural monk and every Buddhist knew him. The rich always came to see him, the poor just like myself could see him only if we had a fresh tattoo. However, he wanted to see me⊠personally andâŠprivately, I was jumping. âShitâŠReally?â
âThe groundskeeper called me, said that you want to see me, sir?â Me.
âAh, Skeptic. They tell me I need to talk to you. Youâre looking for a religion. Is that right?â The headmaster.
âYes, sir. But I have to admit, Iâm not sure I want to be a Buddhist.â Me.
âWhy is that?â The headmaster.
âWell, I donât understand the nomenclature of Buddhistsâ concept of heaven. In order to be definitely in heaven, I need to have a son who becomes a monk. Other than that I will be calculating indefinitely before heaven. What if I only have girls or infertility? Can I use somebody elseâs son? Or do I need to adopt one?â Me.
âAre you worrying about heaven
Comments (0)