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Read books online » Fiction » Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (best ereader under 100 TXT) 📖

Book online «Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (best ereader under 100 TXT) 📖». Author Charles Dickens



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nothing was

to be said, save that I had come into great expectations from a

mysterious patron. Biddy nodded her head thoughtfully at the fire

as she took up her work again, and said she would be very

particular; and Joe, still detaining his knees, said, “Ay, ay, I’ll

be ekervally partickler, Pip;” and then they congratulated me

again, and went on to express so much wonder at the notion of my

being a gentleman that I didn’t half like it.

Infinite pains were then taken by Biddy to convey to my sister some

idea of what had happened. To the best of my belief, those efforts

entirely failed. She laughed and nodded her head a great many

times, and even repeated after Biddy, the words “Pip” and

“Property.” But I doubt if they had more meaning in them than an

election cry, and I cannot suggest a darker picture of her state of

mind.

I never could have believed it without experience, but as Joe and

Biddy became more at their cheerful ease again, I became quite

gloomy. Dissatisfied with my fortune, of course I could not be; but

it is possible that I may have been, without quite knowing it,

dissatisfied with myself.

Any how, I sat with my elbow on my knee and my face upon my hand,

looking into the fire, as those two talked about my going away, and

about what they should do without me, and all that. And whenever I

caught one of them looking at me, though never so pleasantly (and

they often looked at me,—particularly Biddy), I felt offended: as

if they were expressing some mistrust of me. Though Heaven knows

they never did by word or sign.

At those times I would get up and look out at the door; for our

kitchen door opened at once upon the night, and stood open on

summer evenings to air the room. The very stars to which I then

raised my eyes, I am afraid I took to be but poor and humble stars

for glittering on the rustic objects among which I had passed my

life.

“Saturday night,” said I, when we sat at our supper of

bread and cheese and beer. “Five more days, and then the day before

the day! They’ll soon go.”

“Yes, Pip,” observed Joe, whose voice sounded hollow in his beer-mug. “They’ll soon go.”

“Soon, soon go,” said Biddy.

“I have been thinking, Joe, that when I go down town on Monday, and

order my new clothes, I shall tell the tailor that I’ll come and

put them on there, or that I’ll have them sent to Mr. Pumblechook’s.

It would be very disagreeable to be stared at by all the people

here.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Hubble might like to see you in your new genteel figure

too, Pip,” said Joe, industriously cutting his bread, with his

cheese on it, in the palm of his left hand, and glancing at my

untasted supper as if he thought of the time when we used to

compare slices. “So might Wopsle. And the Jolly Bargemen might take

it as a compliment.”

“That’s just what I don’t want, Joe. They would make such a

business of it,—such a coarse and common business,—that I

couldn’t bear myself.”

“Ah, that indeed, Pip!” said Joe. “If you couldn’t abear

yourself—”

Biddy asked me here, as she sat holding my sister’s plate, “Have

you thought about when you’ll show yourself to Mr. Gargery, and your

sister and me? You will show yourself to us; won’t you?”

“Biddy,” I returned with some resentment, “you are so exceedingly

quick that it’s difficult to keep up with you.”

(“She always were quick,” observed Joe.)

“If you had waited another moment, Biddy, you would have heard me

say that I shall bring my clothes here in a bundle one evening,—

most likely on the evening before I go away.”

Biddy said no more. Handsomely forgiving her, I soon exchanged an

affectionate good night with her and Joe, and went up to bed. When

I got into my little room, I sat down and took a long look at it,

as a mean little room that I should soon be parted from and raised

above, for ever. It was furnished with fresh young remembrances

too, and even at the same moment I fell into much the same confused

division of mind between it and the better rooms to which I was

going, as I had been in so often between the forge and Miss

Havisham’s, and Biddy and Estella.

The sun had been shining brightly all day on the roof of my attic,

and the room was warm. As I put the window open and stood looking

out, I saw Joe come slowly forth at the dark door, below, and take a

turn or two in the air; and then I saw Biddy come, and bring him a

pipe and light it for him. He never smoked so late, and it seemed

to hint to me that he wanted comforting, for some reason or other.

He presently stood at the door immediately beneath me, smoking his

pipe, and Biddy stood there too, quietly talking to him, and I knew

that they talked of me, for I heard my name mentioned in an

endearing tone by both of them more than once. I would not have

listened for more, if I could have heard more; so I drew away from

the window, and sat down in my one chair by the bedside, feeling it

very sorrowful and strange that this first night of my bright

fortunes should be the loneliest I had ever known.

Looking towards the open window, I saw light wreaths from Joe’s

pipe floating there, and I fancied it was like a blessing from Joe,

—not obtruded on me or paraded before me, but pervading the air we

shared together. I put my light out, and crept into bed; and it was

an uneasy bed now, and I never slept the old sound sleep in it any

more.

Chapter XIX

Morning made a considerable difference in my general prospect of

Life, and brightened it so much that it scarcely seemed the same.

What lay heaviest on my mind was, the consideration that six days

intervened between me and the day of departure; for I could not

divest myself of a misgiving that something might happen to London

in the meanwhile, and that, when I got there, it would be either

greatly deteriorated or clean gone.

Joe and Biddy were very sympathetic and pleasant when I spoke of

our approaching separation; but they only referred to it when I

did. After breakfast, Joe brought out my indentures from the press

in the best parlor, and we put them in the fire, and I felt that I

was free. With all the novelty of my emancipation on me, I went to

church with Joe, and thought perhaps the clergyman wouldn’t have

read that about the rich man and the kingdom of Heaven, if he had

known all.

After our early dinner, I strolled out alone, purposing to finish

off the marshes at once, and get them done with. As I passed the

church, I felt (as I had felt during service in the morning) a

sublime compassion for the poor creatures who were destined to go

there, Sunday after Sunday, all their lives through, and to lie

obscurely at last among the low green mounds. I promised myself

that I would do something for them one of these days, and formed a

plan in outline for bestowing a dinner of roast-beef and

plum-pudding, a pint of ale, and a gallon of condescension, upon

everybody in the village.

If I had often thought before, with something allied to shame, of

my companionship with the fugitive whom I had once seen limping

among those graves, what were my thoughts on this Sunday, when the

place recalled the wretch, ragged and shivering, with his felon

iron and badge! My comfort was, that it happened a long time ago,

and that he had doubtless been transported a long way off, and that

he was dead to me, and might be veritably dead into the bargain.

No more low, wet grounds, no more dikes and sluices, no more of

these grazing cattle,—though they seemed, in their dull manner, to

wear a more respectful air now, and to face round, in order that

they might stare as long as possible at the possessor of such great

expectations,—farewell, monotonous acquaintances of my childhood,

henceforth I was for London and greatness; not for smith’s work in

general, and for you! I made my exultant way to the old Battery,

and, lying down there to consider the question whether Miss

Havisham intended me for Estella, fell asleep.

When I awoke, I was much surprised to find Joe sitting beside me,

smoking his pipe. He greeted me with a cheerful smile on my opening

my eyes, and said,—

“As being the last time, Pip, I thought I’d foller.”

“And Joe, I am very glad you did so.”

“Thankee, Pip.”

“You may be sure, dear Joe,” I went on, after we had shaken hands,

“that I shall never forget you.”

“No, no, Pip!” said Joe, in a comfortable tone, “I’m sure of that.

Ay, ay, old chap! Bless you, it were only necessary to get it well

round in a man’s mind, to be certain on it. But it took a bit of

time to get it well round, the change come so oncommon plump;

didn’t it?”

Somehow, I was not best pleased with Joe’s being so mightily secure

of me. I should have liked him to have betrayed emotion, or to have

said, “It does you credit, Pip,” or something of that sort.

Therefore, I made no remark on Joe’s first head; merely saying as

to his second, that the tidings had indeed come suddenly, but that

I had always wanted to be a gentleman, and had often and often

speculated on what I would do, if I were one.

“Have you though?” said Joe. “Astonishing!”

“It’s a pity now, Joe,” said I, “that you did not get on a little

more, when we had our lessons here; isn’t it?”

“Well, I don’t know,” returned Joe. “I’m so awful dull. I’m only

master of my own trade. It were always a pity as I was so awful

dull; but it’s no more of a pity now, than it was—this day

twelvemonth—don’t you see?”

What I had meant was, that when I came into my property and was

able to do something for Joe, it would have been much more

agreeable if he had been better qualified for a rise in station. He

was so perfectly innocent of my meaning, however, that I thought I

would mention it to Biddy in preference.

So, when we had walked home and had had tea, I took Biddy into our

little garden by the side of the lane, and, after throwing out in a

general way for the elevation of her spirits, that I should never

forget her, said I had a favor to ask of her.

“And it is, Biddy,” said I, “that you will not omit any opportunity

of helping Joe on, a little.”

“How helping him on?” asked Biddy, with a steady sort of glance.

“Well! Joe is a dear good fellow,—in fact, I think he is the

dearest fellow that ever lived,—but he is rather backward in some

things. For instance, Biddy, in his learning and his manners.”

Although I was looking at Biddy as I spoke, and although she opened

her eyes very wide when I had spoken, she did not look at me.

“O, his manners! won’t his manners do then?” asked Biddy,

plucking a black-currant leaf.

“My dear Biddy, they do very well here—”

“O! they do very well here?” interrupted Biddy, looking closely at

the leaf in her hand.

“Hear me

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