I Should Leave Now.... by August Nexus (any book recommendations txt) 📖

and let them mock you, hit you, call you names, let them make you  run behind them. The people in my school which I used to call friends were so over concerned for me that they always volunteered to correct me , to change me and to mould me. I don’t know why but people always wanted to change me. My so called friends never tried to take me as I am. They always tried to tell Adam how wrong he was, how bad he was, how hellish he was, how non boyish he was, how he was born with the wrong gender etc. etc. etc.
I don't know who is that genius or to whom this work of intelligence belonged to? But w what  I know is that the person who made a fixed set of rules about being a girl or a boy was himself a disguised prototype of early man living in mid of modern people.
So following these set of rules, there came a time when the most weird and stupid git of the school, Adam Wills Crasto was officially declared as a girl or a transgender to be more precise. People always had jokes to crack about me. Whenever I went past some of them , i could  always see the tinge of happiness and a streak of mischief in their eyes. Never came a day when Adam was laughed upon, or kicked In public or insulted in his best times. The best thing my ‘friends’ used to do was they kicked me not physically but superficially, like they will say such a thing about you that you will become pretty sure that you are born on this earth for no purpose and hence either you should get yourself locked or should go and die.
They everyday told you, either this way or other that you are worthless and why the hell you are born and nobody needs you. They make you think that there is something wrong with yourself. You will be forced to think that whatever that is happening is to you is your fault. And yes they made me feel the same and I decided to end my life and that is how I tried to commit suicide for the first time. I should leave now. Hope to write again.
                            Eurynomos.........
  Chapter 5

 30 march.                  10:04pm
There are people in this world who are so self absorbed and are so devoid of human feelings that they do not care about the feelings of other people. They use others for their own purposes and when  it becomes clear to them that you are not of any use any more they just kick you out of their life and will behave as if they don't even know about your existence.  I met a lot of people like this. Most of my so called friends were of the same breed of humans as described above. So whenever my classmates needed a write up, a piece of poetry or some other kind of help they would start to treat me as one of  the most important persons of their life. But after sometime they got so used to my help that they asked for help in the same way as you treat a stray dog.
There was a friend of mine who was too much too smart that he all his school life he behaved too much too friendly to me that I never ever saw what was there in the store for me. I can't take his name as still somewhere in the most conspicuous corner of my heart he is there as s friend. So he was smart, much more intelligent than me, had a good sporty personality and was so good in his opinions about everything. He was the child that most parents dream for. He was the best example of that race of mechanised humans who do calculations of profit and loss even for taking breath. He was my friend from the very first days of my school life. When we reached teenage he very comfortably moulded himself like the other kids at school did and became one of the super modernised people for whom what only matters is their own interest and they don't care for anyone else's feelings or anything. There came a time when I felt the most insulted in my whole .
It was a summer day in school and we were out of our classes in the grounds and were talking in a group. As always I was in the group but was not a part of that group. In that group of elite people who were the best friends of my friend I was not allowed to say anything because a wretched git can't have opinions. I was there so that they can laugh upon me whenever needed.  So I said something to him and he ignored. I thought he didn't listen carefully so  repeated again but he again ignored me. I was standing there right  in front of him saying something and he was looking here and there blankly or talking to somebody else. He pretended as if I don't exist and i was like saying the things again and again. Then he suddenly walked away as if i am not there and I stood there with tears in my eyes, my face flushed red, looking down at my feet. Everyone around me knew what just happened. That was the death blow to my friendship to him. After some months the school got over and our ways parted.
I never talked to him again.
I should leave now. Hope to write again.
                   Eurynomos.........

Imprint

Text: Sudhansh Sharma
Editing: Sudhansh Sharma
Publication Date: 05-22-2017

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To my mum and papa Love u both ❤❤