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Read books online » Fiction » Woodstock; or, the Cavalier by Walter Scott (ready player one ebook .TXT) 📖

Book online «Woodstock; or, the Cavalier by Walter Scott (ready player one ebook .TXT) 📖». Author Walter Scott



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> But that their beds were heav’d on high;
They thought some dog under did lie,
And meant i’ th’ chamber (fie, fie, fie)
          To scumber.

Some thought the cunning cur did mean
To eat their mutton (which was lean)
Reserv’d for breakfast, for the men
          Were thrifty.

And up one rises in his shirt,
Intending the slie cur to hurt,
And forty thrusts made at him for’t,
          Or fifty.

But empty came his sword again.
He found he thrust but all in vain;
An the mutton safe, hee went amain
          To’s fellow.

And now (assured all was well)
The bed again began to swell,
The men were frighted, and did smell
          O’ th’ yellow.

From heaving, now the cloaths it pluckt
The men, for feare, together stuck,
And in their sweat each other duck’t.
          They wished

A thousand times that it were day;
’Tis sure the divell! Let us pray.
They pray’d amain; and, as they say,
—— ——

Approach of day did cleere the doubt,
For all devotions were run out,
They now waxt strong and something stout,
          One peaked

Under the bed, but nought was there;
He view’d the chamber ev’ry where,
Nothing apear’d but what, for feare.
vThey leaked.

Their stomachs then return’d apace,
They found the mutton in the place,
And fell unto it with a grace.
          They laughed

Each at the other’s pannick feare,
And each his bed-fellow did jeere,
And having sent for ale and beere,
          They quaffed.

And then abroad the summons went,
Who’ll buy king’s-land o’ th’ Parliament?
A paper-book contein’d the rent,
          Which lay there;

That did contein the severall farmes,
Quit-rents, knight services, and armes;
But that they came not in by swarmes
          To pay there.

Night doth invite to bed again,
The grand Commissioners were lain,
But then the thing did heave amain,
          It busled,

And with great clamor fil’d their eares,
The noyse was doubled, and their feares;
Nothing was standing but their haires,
          They nuzled.

Oft were the blankets pul’d, the sheete
Was closely twin’d betwixt their feete,
It seems the spirit was discreete
          And civill.

Which makes the poore Commissioners
Feare they shall get but small arreares,
And that there’s yet for cavaliers
          One divell.

They cast about what best to doe;
Next day they would to wisemen goe,
To neighb’ring towns some cours to know;
          For schollars

Come not to Woodstock, as before,
And Allen’s dead as a nayle-doore,
And so’s old John (eclep’d the poore)
          His follower;

Rake Oxford o’re, there’s not a man
That rayse or lay a spirit can,
Or use the circle, or the wand,
          Or conjure;

Or can say (Boh!) unto a divell,
Or to a goose that is uncivill,
Nor where Keimbolton purg’d out evill,
          ’Tis sin sure.

There were two villages hard by,
With teachers of presbytery,
Who knew the house was hidiously
          Be-pestred;

But ’lasse! their new divinity
Is not so deep, or not so high;
Their witts doe (as their meanes did) lie
          Sequestred;

But Master Joffman was the wight
Which was to exorcise the spright;
Hee’ll preach and pray you day and night
          At pleasure.

And by that painfull gainfull trade,
He hath himselfe full wealthy made;
Great store of guilt he hath, ’tis said,
          And treasure.

But no intreaty of his friends
Could get him to the house of fiends,
He came not over for such ends
          From Dutch-land,

But worse divinity hee brought,
And hath us reformation taught,
And, with our money, he hath bought
          Him much land.

Had the old parsons preached still,
The div’l should nev’r have had his wil;
But those that had or art or skill
          Are outed;

And those to whom the pow’r was giv’n
Of driving spirits, are out-driv’n;
Their colledges dispos’d, and livings,
          To grout-heads.

There was a justice who did boast,
Hee had as great a gift almost,
Who did desire him to accost
          This evill.

But hee would not employ his gifts.
But found out many sleights and shifts;
Hee had no prayers, nor no snifts,
          For th’ divell.

Some other way they cast about,
These brought him in, they throw not out;
A woman, great with child, will do’t;
          They got one.

And she i’ th’ room that night must lie;
But when the thing about did flie,
And broke the windows furiously
          And hot one

Of the contractors o’re the head,
Who lay securely in his bed,
The woman, shee-affrighted, fled
—— ——

And now they lay the cause on her.
That e’re that night the thing did stir,
Because her selfe and grandfather
          Were Papists;

They must be barnes-regenerate,
(A Hans en Kelder of the state,
Which was in reformation gatt,)
          They said, which

Doth make the divell stand in awe,
Pull in his hornes, his hoof, his claw;
But having none, they did in draw
—— —— ——

But in the night there was such worke,
The spirit swaggered like a Turke;
The bitch had spi’d where it did lurke,
          And howled

In such a wofull manner that
Their very hearts went pit a pat;

The stately rooms, where kings once lay
But the contractors show’d the way.
But mark what now I tell you, pray,
          ’Tis worth it.

That book I told you of before,
Wherein were tenants written store,
A register for many more
          Not forth yet,

That very book, as it did lie,
Took of a flame, no mortall eye
Seeing one jot of fire thereby,
          Or taper;

For all the candles about flew,
And those that burned, burned blew,
Never kept soldiers such a doe
          Or vaper.

The book thus burnt and none knew how
The poore contractors made a vow
To work no more; this spoil’d their plow
          In that place.

Some other part o’ th’ house they’ll find,
To which the divell hath no mind,
But hee, it seems, is not inclin’d
          With that grace;

But other pranks it plaid elsewhere.
An oake there was stood many a yeere,
Of goodly growth as any where,
          Was hewn down,

Which into fewell-wood was cut,
And some into a wood-pile put,
But it was hurled all about
          And thrown down.

In sundry formes it doth appeare;
Now like a grasping claw to teare;
Now like a dog; anon a beare
          It tumbles;

And all the windows battered are,
No man the quarter enter dare;
All men (except the glasier)
          Doe grumble.

Once in the likenesse of woman,
Of stature much above the common,
’Twas seene, but spak a word to no man,
          And vanish’d.

’Tis thought the ghost of some good wife
Whose husband was depriv’d of life,
Her children cheated, land in strife
          She banist.

No man can tell the cause of these
So wondrous dreadful outrages;
Yet if upon your sinne you please
          To discant,

You’le find our actions out-doe hell’s;
O wring your hands and cease the bells,
Repentance must, or nothing else
          Appease can’t.

No. II.
THE JUST DEVIL OF WOODSTOCK; OR,
A TRUE NARRATIVE OF THE SEVERAL APPARITIONS, THE FRIGHTS AND PUNISHMENTS, INFLICTED UPON THE RUMPISH COMMISSIONERS SENT THITHER TO SURVEY THE MANNORS AND HOUSES BELONGING TO HIS MAJESTIE.

[London, printed in the year 1660. 4to.]

The names of the persons in the ensuing Narrative mentioned, with others:—

CAPTAIN COCKAINE.
CAPTAIN HART.
CAPTAIN CROOK.
CAPTAIN CARELESSE.
CAPTAIN ROE.
Mr. CROOK, the Lawyer.
Mr. BROWNE, the Surveyor.
Their three Servants.
Their Ordinary-keeper, and others.
The Gatekeeper, with the Wife and Servants.

Besides many more, who each night heard the noise; as Sir Gerrard Fleetwood and his lady, with his family, Mr. Hyans, with his family, and several others, who lodged in the outer courts; and during the three last nights, the inhabitants of Woodstock town, and other neighbor villages.

And there were many more, both divines and others, who came out of the country, and from Oxford, to see the glass and stones, and other stuffe, the devil had brought, wherewith to beat out the Commissioners; the marks upon some walls remain, and many, this to testifie.

THE PREFACE TO THE ENSUING NARRATIVE.

Since it hath pleased the Almighty God, out of his infinite mercy, so to make us happy, by restoring of our native King to us, and us unto our native liberty through him, that now the good may say, magna temporum felicitas ubi sentire quæ velis, et dicere licet quæ sentias, we cannot but esteem ourselves engaged in the highest of degrees, to render unto him the highest thanks we can express. Although, surpris’d with joy, we become as lost in the performance; when gladness and admiration strikes us silent, as we look back upon the precipiece of our late condition, and those miraculous deliverances beyond expression. Freed from the slavery, and those desperate perils, we dayly lived in fear of, during the tyrannical times of that detestable usurper, Oliver Cromwell; he who had raked up such judges, as would wrest the most innocent language into high treason, when he had the cruel conscience to take away our lives, upon no other ground of justice or reason, (the stones of London streets would rise to witness it, if all the citizens were silent.) And with these judges had such councillors, as could advise him unto worse, which will less want of witness. For should the many auditors be silent, the press, (as God would have it,) hath given it us in print, where one of them (and his conscience-keeper, too,) speaks out. What shall we do with these men? saith he; Æger intemperans crudelem facit medicum, et immedicabile vulmis ense recidendum. Who these men are that should be brought to such Scicilian vespers, the former page sets forth—those which conceit Utopias, and have their day-dreams of the return of I know not what golden age, with the old line. What usage, when such a privy councillor had power, could he expect, who then had published this narrative? This much so plainly shows the devil himself dislikt their doings, (so much more bad were they than he would have them be,) severer sure than was the devil to their Commissioners at Woodstock; for he warned them, with dreadful noises, to drive them from their work. This councillor, without more ado, would have all who retained conceits of allegiance to their soveraign, to be absolutely cut off by the usurper’s sword. A sad sentence for a loyal party, to a lawful King. But Heaven is always just; the party is repriv’d, and do acknowledge the hand of God in it, as is rightly apply’d, and as justly sensible of their deliverance in that the foundation which the councillor saith was already so well laid, is now turned up, and what he calls day-dreams are come to passe. That old line which (as with him) there seemed, aliquid divini, to the contrary is now restored. And that rock which, as he saith, the prelates and all their adherents, nay, and their master and supporter, too, with all his posterity, have split themselves upon, is nowhere to be heard. And that posterity are safely arrived in their ports, and masters of that mighty navy, their enemies so much encreased to keep them out with. The eldest sits upon the throne, his place by birthright and descent,

“Pacatumque regit Patriis virtutibus orbem;”

upon which throne long may he sit, and reign in peace. That by his just government, the enemies of ours, the true Protestant Church, of that glorious martyr, our late sovereign, and of his royal posterity, may be either absolutely converted, or utterly confounded.

If any shall now ask thee why this narrative was not sooner published, as neerer to the times wherein the things were acted, he hath the reason for it in the former lines; which will the more clearly appear unto his apprehension, if he shall perpend how much cruelty is requisite to the maintenance of rebellion; and how great care is necessary in the supporters, to obviate and divert the smallest things that tend to the unblinding of the people; so that it needs will follow, that they must have accounted this amongst the great obstructions to their sales of his majestie’s lands, the devil not joining with them in the security; and greater to the pulling down the royal pallaces, when their chapmen should conceit the devil would haunt them in their houses, for building with so ill got materials; as no doubt but that he hath, so numerous and confident are the relations made of the same, though scarce any so totally remarkeable as this, (if it be not that others have been more concealed,) in regard of the strange circumstances as long continuances, but especially the number of persons together, to whom all things were so visibly both seen and done, so that surely it exceeds any other; for the devils thus manifesting themselves, it appears evidently that there are such things as devils, to persecute the wicked in this world as in the next.

Now, if to these were added the diverse reall phantasms seen at Whitehall in Cromwell’s times, which caused him to keep such mighty guards in and about his bedchamber, and yet so oft to change his lodgings; if those things done at St. James’, where the devil so joal’d the centinels against the sides of the queen’s chappell doors, that some of them fell sick upon it; and others, not, taking warning by it, kild one outright, whom they buried in the place; and all

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