Howl by Brieanna Boyce (chrome ebook reader txt) 📖

and still had thought was impenetrable now get broken down until he was crying. I wanted so badly to bundle him into my arms, to pet his head and tell him it was all going to be okay like he was a young child.

“Why do you love me? How can you love me?” He didn’t ask kindly he demanded it. I suppose that’s what I’d deserved after what I’d done.

“You…you don’t know it, but you made me who I am. I looked to you, to how strong you were and yet how kind you were. If you wanted to you could’ve been the “cool kid” you could’ve left everyone else in the dust. Including me, you didn’t though and when mom died, when I cried, or screamed… you were there. You aren’t perfect. I’ve always known that… but it’s for your imperfections that I love you. I want nothing more to help you like you helped me.”

Tristan laughed halfheartedly, “you stupid, smart, sweet girl.” I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. I didn’t want to tell him that there was now a part of me that also resented him. That found this new Tristan revolting and I couldn’t decide if it was the human part of me or the werewolf side of me. It didn’t matter though, not now anyway, he needed me, and there was nothing more I’d wanted growing up than to help him.

He hugged me gently and then pushed me away lightly. There was only a foot or two between us and yet I felt as if I was a mile or two away and when he kissed me with those beautiful lips tasting of his tears it was just an empty kiss. I felt as if I’d been stabbed through, he wasn’t going to tell me what happened. He’d never want to be with me that way, he’d never need me the way I had so desperately needed him. That hurt more than anything so without a word, and not able to stand another moment I left. I could feel the tears welling up but I stopped them. It was my fault, I always knew this was unrequited love I knew it. Some part of me hated the new him and I still loved him! Why did I bother playing this stupid game? Than a thought unguarded popped into my head, I miss Kale he would’ve never done this to me… He would’ve let me hold him and he would’ve I blushed and made sure my thought remained uncompleted I shook my head. There was a good chance I could die and here I was worrying about boy troubles.

In fact I was so distracted that I had bumped right into someone. “Oh sorry,” I muttered. An oddly familiar voice answered, “not at all my child.” I looked up and saw the vampire from the bar (was it just last night, my perception of time is now shot.) Lestat, yes I believe that was his name.

“You look troubled my child. I was just returning home to my Jessica. Why don’t you join us?”

Now if I’d been human the obvious answer would’ve been no. However I faked my death, ran away from home with a bunch of kids I hardly knew, killed a few people and stole Tristan’s stuff and sold it. I was pretty sure all that remained of my morale was “don’t kill innocent people.” Even than I unfortunately failed a few times, (I hope mom’s not too disappointed if she’s watching.)

Lestat didn’t wait for my answer his eyes once again challenging me to refuse him. I wouldn’t there was far too much I felt I could learn from him. His blue eyes danced delighted as if he was a child who won a game. His energy was amazing, he was hunger and ambition, and he feasted off the world and was happy to do so. When we walked into his not-so-humble abode it was filled with old and new artistic and somewhat gothic designs. Art littered the place and it seemed like you could literally eat off the floors they were so clean.

Jessica was sitting on a couch sipping a crimson red liquid out of a teacup. “Hello,” she said smiling warmly, than she looked at Lestat and a mixture of things passed through their eyes, communicating, flirting, love, and lust. Then she turned her gaze back to me, “sit,” she gestured to a chair with a graceful motion. I sat quietly as Lestat took his place next to Jessica.

“So my child, do you have any one to stay with?” Lestat asked both Lestat and Jessica’s eyes quietly dissecting my reaction.

“Well not officially I was just coming back from seeing someone…”

“Were they one of us?” Jessica asked leaning over her auburn hair flowing over her shoulder as she did so again reminding me of mother.

I shrank away from the word us it sounded somehow wrong in this context but I nodded. “Yes he is.”

“Is he your eternal partner?” Lestat asked.

That question I was reluctant to answer too. My first thought was God I hope not or I am screwed.”

Jessica muttered, “Well you seem to have a partner.”

I thought of Kale and sighed sadly than I thought of Tristan and shook my head, “It’s complicated,” was the only answer I seemed to be able to muster up.

They both looked at each other. Apparently not satisfied with the answer but knowing I wouldn’t divulge more.

“Are you going to be staying with this boy?”

I shook my head, “I don’t think so.”

“Well than, stay with us my child.”

I bit my lip than nodded in agreement.

“Good,” Jessica said clapping her hands together smiling.

I looked to them both and asked them if they could answer a few of my questions, and both to my unparalleled relief nodded yes.

“What’s going on with this queen thing? Why are there so many vampires why are vampire’s numbers increasing?”


“Concerning the queen, there was first one in Egypt; she died a few years ago. This new queen is old as well, she is dating back to the Roman Empire, there was another who was supposed to rule but that didn’t go so well.”

Lestat wasn’t telling me everything and Jessica wasn’t trying to fill in details. It seemed they were hiding a lot but I knew when I could get information and when I couldn’t and these were one of those moments I would not gain access to information.

Jessica cleared her throat her soft voice said soothingly, “The reason vampires numbers are rising is because there’s no one to stop them.”

As of yet, I finished the thought in my mind. I figured they would only tell me the vaguest details so I was getting nowhere. The frustration I felt bubbling up seemed so familiar. Was it the frustration towards authority? Was this the way I felt when mom and dad were trying to protect me? I would let them protect me if I got to see them again. I felt a stabbing pain of guilt, I should’ve hugged them more kissed them more, told them I loved them more. I felt my mood plummet as I suddenly grew tired. “Where is the room I am to stay in?”

Jessica got up gracefully and led me down a few hallways and to a large room with a big window. “I’m sorry we have larger rooms but uh…” she bit her lip a small smile curling underneath it. “They’ve all been used.” I knew what she meant right away, how her eyes grew hazy, and half lidded her body going pliant at the thought of those rooms being “used”.

I looked at her than looked out the window and sat on the bed, “This will be fine… and Jesse? Don’t pull that crap with Lestat while I’m here.”

I didn’t need to turn around, I knew she was blushing I knew she nodded and closed the door. I’m sure later on I will feel guilty, for now though all I wanted was sleep. All I wanted to do was pulling up the covers and fall asleep. Forever.

My sleep did not come undisturbed; Tristan invited himself into my dreams. Except it was different, I don’t think he knew I was there. He had shown little glimpses of how we were in the past. I saw us holding hands and playing, us arguing over something stupid and me apologizing, both of us laughing at one of his rare blonde moments, of him holding me while I cried over my mother, and one time at school. Tristan was talking about how much he hated his mother and one kid asked “why?” you could see the pain in his face how he didn’t want to explain, so I interjected “it’s a long story.” Tristan gave me a strange look; I think he was grateful…

Than all those memories changed into our recent memories of me calling him a monster, or saying I hate you, being tied in a basement, or him taking me to his home in a train, to the time he’d slapped me in one of my dreams. Than all those memories dissipated until it was just Tristan and I standing on either side of this blank dream, both of us staring at each other as if to say “What now?”

“Did you ever really love me?”

I looked at him, “Yes. I did.”

He looked at me sadly, “Now how do you feel about me?”

I looked at him, the beautiful boy I’d pined for most of my life, “I feel…disappointed.”

Suddenly he and his dream left so that I could fall into a more peaceful less troublesome sleep. When I woke up the next morning I opened my eyes to Lestat peering over me. Without thinking I kicked him away and made him bleed.

“Ow,” he said clutching his nose, now not so perfectly shaped and gushing blood. He than pulled back his fingertips to look at them, staring at his blood fascinated. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen my own blood.”

I hopped out of bed and walked out of the room him following after me, “aren’t you going to apologize?” Lestat asked hissing menacingly.

“Nope,” I said nonchalantly, “you were standing over me while I was sleeping.”

“I was going to wake you up to tell you there’s breakfast.” I walked to the kitchen ignoring him and saw a large counter covered in exquisite food that looked like it came out of a catalogue. Jesse of course was the culprit adorned with an apron. “Good morning,” she smiled “I hope the food is to your liking.” I looked at her than looked away, she looked so much like mom sounded like her too but it was a bitter lie. Was this how dad felt when he looked at me? I felt a lump form in my throat was that how Adoni thought of me? That thought was the straw that broke the camel’s back to think I could have caused Adoni more pain by trying to take mom’s place. I began to weep brokenheartedly I didn’t bother to hide it and they didn’t bother asking me to explain which was good because I wouldn’t have.

Jesse knelt by my side took of the apron and sat next to me, “it’s hard, harder for you I’m sure than it was for me. When I changed I had to leave people that meant a lot to me.”

“You don’t get it,” I said bitterly, “my family needs