Mother by Maxim Gorky (bookstand for reading .TXT) 📖

to her that he grew rather frightened. And when she yielded to his awkward and embarrassed persuasions to take the room, he immediately cheered up.

There was a peculiar atmosphere pervading all the three rooms. It was easy and pleasant to breathe in them; but one’s voice involuntarily dropped a note in the wish not to speak aloud and intrude upon the peaceful thoughtfulness of the people who sent down a concentrated look from the walls.

“The flowers need watering,” said the mother, feeling the earth in the flowerpots in the windows.

“Yes, yes,” said the master guiltily. “I love them very much, but I have no time to take care of them.”

The mother noticed that Nikolay walked about in his own comfortable quarters just as carefully and as noiselessly as if he were a stranger, and as if all that surrounded him were remote from him. He would pick up and examine some small article, such as a bust, bring it close to his face, and scrutinize it minutely, adjusting his glasses with the thin finger of his right hand, and screwing up his eyes. He had the appearance of just having entered the rooms for the first time, and everything seemed as unfamiliar and strange to him as to the mother. Consequently, the mother at once felt herself at home. She followed Nikolay, observing where each thing stood, and inquiring about his ways and habits of life. He answered with the guilty air of a man who knows he is all the time doing things as they ought not to be done, but cannot help himself.

After she had watered the flowers and arranged the sheets of music scattered in disorder over the piano, she looked at the samovar, and remarked, “It needs polishing.”

Nikolay ran his finger over the dull metal, then stuck the finger close to his nose. He looked at the mother so seriously that she could not restrain a good-natured smile.

When she lay down to sleep and thought of the day just past, she raised her head from the pillow in astonishment and looked around. For the first time in her life she was in the house of a stranger, and she did not experience the least constraint. Her mind dwelt solicitously on Nikolay. She had a distinct desire to do the best she could for him, and to introduce more warmth into his lonely life. She was stirred and affected by his embarrassed awkwardness and droll ignorance, and smiled to herself with a sigh. Then her thoughts leaped to her son and to Andrey. She recalled the high-pitched, sparkling voice of Fedya, and gradually the whole day of the first of May unrolled itself before her, clothed in new sounds, reflecting new thoughts. The trials of the day were peculiar as the day itself. They did not bring her head to the ground as with the dull, stunning blow of the fist. They stabbed the heart with a thousand pricks, and called forth in her a quiet wrath, opening her eyes and straightening her backbone.

“Children go in the world,” she thought as she listened to the unfamiliar nocturnal sounds of the city. They crept through the open window like a sigh from afar, stirring the leaves in the garden and faintly expiring in the room.

Early in the morning she polished up the samovar, made a fire in it, and filled it with water, and noiselessly placed the dishes on the table. Then she sat down in the kitchen and waited for Nikolay to rise. Presently she heard him cough. He appeared at the door, holding his glasses in one hand, the other hand at his throat. She responded to his greeting, and brought the samovar into the room. He began to wash himself, splashing the water on the floor, dropping the soap and his toothbrush, and grumbling in dissatisfaction at himself.

When they sat down to drink tea, he said to the mother:

“I am employed in the Zemstvo board—a very sad occupation. I see the way our peasants are going to ruin.”

And smiling he repeated guiltily: “It’s literally so—I see! People go hungry, they lie down in their graves prematurely, starved to death, children are born feeble and sick, and drop like flies in autumn—we know all this, we know the causes of this wretchedness, and for observing it we receive a good salary. But that’s all we do, really; truly all we do.”

“And what are you, a student?”

“No. I’m a village teacher. My father was superintendent in a mill in Vyatka, and I became a teacher. But I began to give books to the peasants in the village, and was put in prison for it. When I came out of prison I became clerk in a bookstore, but not behaving carefully enough I got myself into prison again, and was then exiled to Archangel. There I also got into trouble with the governor, and they sent me to the White Sea coast, where I lived for five years.”

His talk sounded calm and even in the bright room flooded with sunlight. The mother had already heard many such stories; but she could never understand why they were related with such composure, why no blame was laid on anybody for the suffering the people had gone through, why these sufferings were regarded as so inevitable.

“My sister is coming to-day,” he announced.

“Is she married?”

“She’s a widow. Her husband was exiled to Siberia; but he escaped, caught a severe cold on the way, and died abroad two years ago.”

“Is she younger than you?”

“Six years older. I owe a great deal to her. Wait, and you’ll hear how she plays. That’s her piano. There are a whole lot of her things here, my books–-”

“Where does she live?”

“Everywhere,” he answered with a smile. “Wherever a brave soul is needed, there’s where you’ll find her.”

“Also in this movement?”

“Yes, of course.”

He soon left to go to work, and the mother fell to thinking of “that movement” for which the people worked, day in, day out, calmly and resolutely. When confronting them she seemed to stand before a mountain looming in the dark.

About noon a tall, well-built lady came. When the mother opened the door for her she threw a little yellow valise on the floor, and quickly seizing Vlasova’s hand, asked:

“Are you the mother of Pavel Mikhaylovich?”

“Yes, I am,” the mother replied, embarrassed by the lady’s rich appearance.

“That’s the way I imagined you,” said the lady, removing her hat in front of the mirror. “We have been friends of Pavel Mikhaylovich a long time. He spoke about you often.”

Her voice was somewhat dull, and she spoke slowly; but her movements were quick and vigorous. Her large, limpid gray eyes smiled youthfully; on her temples, however, thin radiate wrinkles were already limned, and silver hairs glistened over her ears.

“I’m hungry; can I have a cup of coffee?”

“I’ll make it for you at once.” The mother took down the coffee apparatus from the shelf and quietly asked:

“DID Pasha speak about me?”

“Yes, indeed, a great deal.” The lady took out a little leather cigarette case, lighted a cigarette, and inquired: “You’re extremely uneasy about him, aren’t you?”

The mother smiled, watching the blue, quivering flame of the spirit lamp. Her embarrassment at the presence of the lady vanished in the depths of her joy.

“So he talks about me, my dear son!” she thought.

“You asked me whether I’m uneasy? Of course, it’s not easy for me. But it would have been worse some time ago; now I know that he’s not alone, and that even I am not alone.” Looking into the lady’s face, she asked: “What is your name?”

“Sofya,” the lady answered, and began to speak in a businesslike way. “The most important thing is that they should not stay in prison long, but that the trial should come off very soon. The moment they are exiled, we’ll arrange an escape for Pavel Mikhaylovich. There’s nothing for him to do in Siberia, and he’s indispensable here.”

The mother incredulously regarded Sofya, who was searching about for a place into which to drop her cigarette stump, and finally threw it in a flowerpot.

“That’ll spoil the flowers,” the mother remarked mechanically.

“Excuse me,” said Sofya simply. “Nikolay always tells me the same thing.” She picked up the stump and threw it out of the window. The mother looked at her in embarrassment, and said guiltily:

“You must excuse me. I said it without thinking. Is it in my place to teach you?”

“Why not? Why not teach me, if I’m a sloven?” Sofya calmly queried with a shrug. “I know it; but I always forget—the worse for me. It’s an ugly habit—to throw cigarette stumps any and everywhere, and to litter up places with ashes—particularly in a woman. Cleanliness in a room is the result of work, and all work ought to be respected. Is the coffee ready? Thank you! Why one cup? Won’t you have any?” Suddenly seizing the mother by the shoulder, she drew her to herself, and looking into her eyes asked in surprise: “Why, are you embarrassed?”

The mother answered with a smile:

“I just blamed you for throwing the cigarette stump away—does that look as if I were embarrassed?” Her surprise was unconcealed. “I came to your house only yesterday, but I behave as if I were at home, and as if I had known you a long time. I’m afraid of nothing; I say anything. I even find fault.”

“That’s the way it ought to be.”

“My head’s in a whirl. I seem to be a stranger to myself. Formerly I didn’t dare speak out from my heart until I’d been with a person a long, long time. And now my heart is always open, and I at once say things I wouldn’t have dreamed of before, and a lot of things, too.” Sofya lit another cigarette, turning the kind glance of her gray eyes on the mother. “Yes, you speak of arranging an escape. But how will he be able to live as a fugitive?” The mother finally gave expression to the thought that was agitating her.

“That’s a trifle,” Sofya remarked, pouring out a cup of coffee for herself. “He’ll live as scores of other fugitives live. I just met one, and saw him off. Another very valuable man, who worked for the movement in the south. He was exiled for five years, but remained only three and a half months. That’s why I look such a grande dame. Do you think I always dress this way? I can’t bear this fine toggery, this sumptuous rustle. A human being is simple by nature, and should dress simply—beautifully but simply.”

The mother looked at her fixedly, smiled, and shaking her head meditatively said:

“No, it seems that day, the first of May, has changed me. I feel awkward somehow or other, as if I were walking on two roads at the same time. At one moment I understand everything; the next moment I am plunged into a mist. Here are you! I see you a lady; you occupy yourself with this movement, you know Pasha, and you esteem him. Thank you!”

“Why, you ought to be thanked!” Sofya laughed.

“I? I didn’t teach him about the movement,” the mother said with a sigh. “As I speak now,” she continued stubbornly, “everything seems simple and near. Then, all of a sudden, I cannot understand this simplicity. Again, I’m calm. In a second I grow fearful, because I AM calm. I always used to be afraid, my whole life long; but now that there’s a great deal to be afraid of, I have very little fear. Why is it? I cannot understand.” She stopped, at a loss for words. Sofya looked at her seriously, and waited; but seeing