A College Girl by Mrs George de Horne Vaizey (reading in the dark .TXT) đ
- Author: Mrs George de Horne Vaizey
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Dan did not speak. He turned his head and looked Darsie full in the eyes, and there was in his look a puzzled, questioning air, which she found it difficult to understand. When he spoke again, it was not to reply in any direct way to her accusation, but to ask a question on his own account.
âDarsie, do you mind telling meâis your position entirely disinterested? Do you look upon the fellow merely as a man to be helped, or do you care for him for his own personal sake?â
Darsie deliberated. The firelight played on her downcast face, on the long white throat rising from the low collar of her white blouse, on the little hands clenched round the steel poker. Before her mindâs eye arose the memory of handsome, melancholy eyes; imagination conjured back the sound of impassioned appeals. Her expression softened, her voice took a deeper note.
âHe needs me, Dan!â
That was her answer. Dan nodded in silence, accepting it as sufficient. He rose from his chair, and paced up and down the room, hands thrust deep into his trouser pockets, head held back with the characteristic forward tilt of the chin. Darsie, watching him, thought involuntarily of a caged animal striving restlessly against the bars. Her heart gave a little throb of relief when he spoke again in his own natural voice.
âAll right, Darsie. Good luck to your efforts! I appreciate your intentions, and am only sorry that I canât agree. According to my belief no one can help a man who refuses to help himself. Weâve got to fight our own battles, and to bear our own burdens! If some one steps forward and offers to undertake for us, we may imagine for a time that we are set free, but itâs a mistake! Sooner or later the time comes when weâre bound to fight it out alone, and it doesnât get easier for being deferred. Everything that is worth learning in life we have to worry out for ourselves!â
Darsie drew a long, trembling sigh. How puzzling life was, when the two people on whose judgment you most relied delivered themselves of directly opposing verdicts! Mrs Reeves believed that her help was all-important to Ralphâs progress; Dan insisted that her efforts were in vain.
Was he right? Was he wrong? Could she honestly assure herself that Ralph was stronger, more self-reliant, more able to stand alone without the stimulus of constant support and encouragement? Instinctively Darsieâs hand went up to touch the little golden brooch which fastened the lace collar of her blouse. If the anchor were withdrawn, would Ralph drift once more towards the rocks? The answer was difficult. She pondered it aloud, speaking in low, anxious tones, with lengthened pauses between the words.
âWeâre both right, Dan. Weâve both got hold of bits of the truth! In the end we must win through for ourselves, but surely, in preparation for the battle, we can give each other some help. Some natures seem made to stand, and others to lean. A prop is not of much account, but it may serve to keep a plant straight while it is gathering strength. The big oaks need no props; they are so strong that they canât understand; they have no pity for weakness.â
Dan stopped short in his pacings.
âThat meant for me, Darsie?â
âHumph! Just as you please! Oaks are nice thingsâbig, and strong, and restful, but just a little bit inclined to growâgnarled!â
Dan vouchsafed no reply, and Darsie sat, hands clasped round knees, staring into the fire for five long, silent minutes. She was hoping that Dan would never grow âgnarledâ towards herself, longing for him to speak and promise that he would not, but he still remained silent, and presently the door burst open, the rinking party appeared on the threshold, and the opportunity for quiet conclave was over.
Seated alone in the train, en route for her visit to the Percivals, Darsie had time to think in a more quiet and undisturbed fashion than had been possible in the past bustling days, and a disagreeable feeling of apprehension arose in her mind as she recalled the wording of the three invitations. In each was present the same note of depression, the same hint of trouble in connection with the son of the house. Could anything have happened of which she was unaware? No letter from The Manor had reached her for some weeks past, but letters were proverbially scarce at Christmas-time, so that it would be foolish to argue ill from that fact alone. Darsie braced herself physically and mentally, squared her shoulders, and resolutely dismissed gloomy thoughts.
Noreen and Ralph met her at the station, looking reassuringly cheerful and at ease a magnificent new motor stood in waiting outside, with a cart for the luggage. Inside the beautiful old house the atmosphere was warmed by hot pipes, and scented with the fragrance of hothouse plants, banked together in every corner. It was not the usual case of being warm and cosy inside a room, and miserably chilled every time one crossed a passage or ascended the stairs. Mrs Percival and the girls were marvels of elegance in Parisian gowns, Ralph looked his handsomest in knickerbocker suit and gaiters, and the servants moved noiselessly to and fro, performing their tasks with machine-like accuracy.
Extraordinary how complete a change of scene may take place between lunch and tea! How swiftly a new atmosphere makes the old unreal!
As Darsie sat drinking her tea in the old wainscoted hall, it seemed impossible to realise that such things as poverty and struggle were in existence; even the shabby bustle and squeeze of her own dear home became incredible in the face of this spacious, well-ordered calm!
Mrs Percival made no attempt at private conversation, and showed no trace of âulterior motiveâ in manner or conversation, which was a huge relief to Darsieâs mind. She was not in a mood for serious conversation; what she wanted was the usual Percival offering of praise, admiration, and petting, and this was bestowed upon her with even more than the usual generosity. The grey-whiskered old Squire kissed her on both cheeks; the girls assured her that she was prettier than ever, and greeted her feeblest sallies with bursts of delighted laughter. Ralph gazed at her with adoring eyes; it was all, as Darsie had been wont to remark, most grateful and comforting!
The first evening passed pleasantly enough, though there was a noticeable effort on the part of each member of the family to keep the conversation from touching upon the subject of Ralphâs affairs. Any reference to Cambridge was taboo, as Darsie swiftly discovered, but there were many points of interest left, which were both pleasant and amusing to discuss.
The next morningâthe last morning of the yearâbroke fine and bright, and the view seen through the long windows of the dining-room was almost as beautiful as in summer itself. The park showed the same stretch of velvet green, a belt of evergreens and tall Scotch firs filled up the far distance, while the leafless boughs of elms and beeches made a lace-like tracery against the sky. To the right the old cedar stood calm and unmoved, as it had stood while generations of Percivals had lived, and loved, and sorrowed, and died.
When breakfast was overâand breakfast in the country is a meal which pursues a calm and leisurely courseâthe four young people strolled into the porch to discuss the programme for the day.
âDarsie is nerving herself to look at the horsesâ tails!â said Ida laughingly. It was a Percival peculiarity, agreeable or irritating according to the mood of the hearer, that they never by any chance forgot a remark, but continually resurrected it in conversation for years to come. Never a morning had Darsie spent at the Manor that she had not been reminded of scathing comments on the habit of daily visits to kennels and stables, as delivered by herself on the occasion of her first visit. To-day, however, she had only time to grimace a reply, before Ida continued cheerfullyâ
âYou wonât be asked, my dear! We have something far more important on hand. You have walked right into the jaws of the tenantsâ annual New Yearâs treat, and will have to tire your hands decorating all the morning, and your gums smiling all the evening. Itâs an all-day-and-night business, and we get home at cock-crow in a state of collapseââ
âItâs held in the village hall,â Noreen took up the tale, slipping unconsciously into what Darsie called her âsquireâs-eldest-daughter-manner.â
âQuite a nice building. We make it look festive with wreaths and bunting. They think so much of decorations!â (âTheyâ in Percival parlance alluded to the various tenants on the estate.) âWe try to think of something novel each year as a surprise. They like surprises. Weâve arranged with half a dozen girls to be there to help. Quite nice girls, daughters of the principal farmers. You must be quite sweet to them, Darsie, please! It is our principal meeting of the year, and we make a point of being friendly.â
âMust I really?â Darsie assumed an expression of dejection. âWhat a disappointment! Itâs so seldom I get an opportunity of being proud and grand. Whatâs the good of staying at a Manor House, and driving down with âthe family,â if I have to be meek and friendly like any one else? Couldnât you introduce me as the Lady Claire, and let me put on airs for a treat? It would act as a contrast to your âfriendly ways,â and make them all the more appreciated.â
The girls laughed as in duty bound, and declared that it would be sport, and wondered if they dared, but Ralph sharply called them to order.
âRot! As if everybody in this neighbourhood didnât know Darsie by heart! Put on your hats, and donât talk rubbish. It will take us all our time to get through with the hall before lunch.â
Town-bred Darsie privately hoped that the motor would appear to carry the helpers to the hall three miles away, but the Percivals themselves never seemed to dream of such a possibility. In short skirts and thick boots they plodded cheerfully across boggy meadows and muddy lanes, climbed half a dozen stiles, and arrived at last in the High Street of the little village, close to the entrance of the unpretentious wooden building which called itself the Village Hall.
Darsie thought that she had never beheld an interior which seemed so thoroughly to need, and at the same time to defy, decoration! Whitewashed walls, well splashed by damp; a double row of pegs all round the walls at a level of some five or six feet from the ground; wooden forms, and a small square platform, made up a whole which was bare and ugly to a degree.
A group of five or six girls stood beside a pile of evergreens; a youth in shirt-sleeves was in process of unpacking crumpled flags and flattened Japanese lanterns from an old tin box; two ladders stood against the walls.
The entrance of âthe familyâ was marked by a general movement among the little company, and Darsie watched the greetings which ensued with twinkling amusement.
Noreen and Ida were so pleasant, so full of gratitude for the presence of each individual helper, so anxious to be assured that they could really spare the time. Ralph was so laboriously polite, while the girls themselves, pleasant, kindly, and well-educated, were either happily unaware of the thinly disguised patronage, or had the good manners to conceal their knowledge. There was no doubt which side appeared to best advantage in the interview!
âThe first thing we must do is to decide upon a scheme of decoration,â Ida declared. âDarsie, suggest something! You have never done it before, so your ideas ought
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