Silas Marner by George Eliot (popular books to read .TXT) đ
- Author: George Eliot
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âThatâs ended!â
She bent to kiss him, and then said, as she stood by his side, âYes, Iâm afraid we must give up the hope of having her for a daughter. It wouldnât be right to want to force her to come to us against her will. We canât alter her bringing up and whatâs come of it.â
âNo,â said Godfrey, with a keen decisiveness of tone, in contrast with his usually careless and unemphatic speechââthereâs debts we canât pay like money debts, by paying extra for the years that have slipped by. While Iâve been putting off and putting off, the trees have been growingâitâs too late now. Marner was in the right in what he said about a manâs turning away a blessing from his door: it falls to somebody else. I wanted to pass for childless once, NancyâI shall pass for childless now against my wish.â
Nancy did not speak immediately, but after a little while she askedâ
âYou wonât make it known, then, about Eppieâs being your daughter?â
âNo: where would be the good to anybody?âonly harm. I must do what I can for her in the state of life she chooses. I must see who it is sheâs thinking of marrying.â
âIf it wonât do any good to make the thing known,â said Nancy, who thought she might now allow herself the relief of entertaining a feeling which she had tried to silence before, âI should be very thankful for father and Priscilla never to be troubled with knowing what was done in the past, more than about Dunsey: it canât be helped, their knowing that.â
âI shall put it in my willâI think I shall put it in my will.
I shouldnât like to leave anything to be found out, like this of Dunsey,â said Godfrey, meditatively. âBut I canât see anything but difficulties that âud come from telling it now. I must do what I can to make her happy in her own way. Iâve a notion,â he added, after a momentâs pause, âitâs Aaron Winthrop she meant she was engaged to. I remember seeing him with her and Marner going away from church.â
âWell, heâs very sober and industrious,â said Nancy, trying to view the matter as cheerfully as possible.
Godfrey fell into thoughtfulness again. Presently he looked up at Nancy sorrowfully, and saidâ
âSheâs a very pretty, nice girl, isnât she, Nancy?â
âYes, dear; and with just your hair and eyes: I wondered it had never struck me before.â
âI think she took a dislike to me at the thought of my being her father: I could see a change in her manner after that.â
âShe couldnât bear to think of not looking on Marner as her father,â said Nancy, not wishing to confirm her husbandâs painful impression.
âShe thinks I did wrong by her mother as well as by her. She thinks me worse than I am. But she must think it: she can never know all. Itâs part of my punishment, Nancy, for my daughter to dislike me. I should never have got into that trouble if Iâd been true to youâif I hadnât been a fool. Iâd no right to expect anything but evil could come of that marriageâand when I shirked doing a fatherâs part too.â
Nancy was silent: her spirit of rectitude would not let her try to soften the edge of what she felt to be a just compunction. He spoke again after a little while, but the tone was rather changed: there was tenderness mingled with the previous self-reproach.
âAnd I got you, Nancy, in spite of all; and yet Iâve been grumbling and uneasy because I hadnât something elseâas if I deserved it.â
âYouâve never been wanting to me, Godfrey,â said Nancy, with quiet sincerity. âMy only trouble would be gone if you resigned yourself to the lot thatâs been given us.â
âWell, perhaps it isnât too late to mend a bit there. Though it is too late to mend some things, say what they will.â
The next morning, when Silas and Eppie were seated at their breakfast, he said to herâ
âEppie, thereâs a thing Iâve had on my mind to do this two year, and now the moneyâs been brought back to us, we can do it. Iâve been turning it over and over in the night, and I think weâll set out to-morrow, while the fine days last. Weâll leave the house and everything for your godmother to take care on, and weâll make a little bundle oâ things and set out.â
âWhere to go, daddy?â said Eppie, in much surprise.
âTo my old countryâto the town where I was bornâup Lantern Yard. I want to see Mr. Paston, the minister: something may haâ
come out to make âem know I was innicent oâ the robbery. And Mr. Paston was a man with a deal oâ lightâI want to speak to him about the drawing oâ the lots. And I should like to talk to him about the religion oâ this country-side, for I partly think he doesnât know on it.â
Eppie was very joyful, for there was the prospect not only of wonder and delight at seeing a strange country, but also of coming back to tell Aaron all about it. Aaron was so much wiser than she was about most thingsâit would be rather pleasant to have this little advantage over him. Mrs. Winthrop, though possessed with a dim fear of dangers attendant on so long a journey, and requiring many assurances that it would not take them out of the region of carriersâ carts and slow waggons, was nevertheless well pleased that Silas should revisit his own country, and find out if he had been cleared from that false accusation.
âYouâd be easier in your mind for the rest oâ your life, Master Marner,â said Dollyââthat you would. And if thereâs any light to be got up the yard as you talk on, weâve need of it iâ this world, and Iâd be glad on it myself, if you could bring it back.â
So on the fourth day from that time, Silas and Eppie, in their Sunday clothes, with a small bundle tied in a blue linen handkerchief, were making their way through the streets of a great manufacturing town. Silas, bewildered by the changes thirty years had brought over his native place, had stopped several persons in succession to ask them the name of this town, that he might be sure he was not under a mistake about it.
âAsk for Lantern Yard, fatherâask this gentleman with the tassels on his shoulders a-standing at the shop door; he isnât in a hurry like the rest,â said Eppie, in some distress at her fatherâs bewilderment, and ill at ease, besides, amidst the noise, the movement, and the multitude of strange indifferent faces.
âEh, my child, he wonât know anything about it,â said Silas; âgentlefolks didnât ever go up the Yard. But happen somebody can tell me which is the way to Prison Street, where the jail is.
I know the way out oâ that as if Iâd seen it yesterday.â
With some difficulty, after many turnings and new inquiries, they reached Prison Street; and the grim walls of the jail, the first object that answered to any image in Silasâs memory, cheered him with the certitude, which no assurance of the townâs name had hitherto given him, that he was in his native place.
âAh,â he said, drawing a long breath, âthereâs the jail, Eppie; thatâs just the same: I arenât afraid now. Itâs the third turning on the left hand from the jail doorsâthatâs the way we must go.â
âOh, what a dark ugly place!â said Eppie. âHow it hides the sky! Itâs worse than the Workhouse. Iâm glad you donât live in this town now, father. Is Lantern Yard like this street?â
âMy precious child,â said Silas, smiling, âit isnât a big street like this. I never was easy iâ this street myself, but I was fond oâ Lantern Yard. The shops here are all altered, I thinkâI canât make âem out; but I shall know the turning, because itâs the third.â
âHere it is,â he said, in a tone of satisfaction, as they came to a narrow alley. âAnd then we must go to the left again, and then straight forâard for a bit, up Shoe Lane: and then we shall be at the entry next to the oâerhanging window, where thereâs the nick in the road for the water to run. Eh, I can see it all.â
âO father, Iâm like as if I was stifled,â said Eppie. âI couldnât haâ thought as any folks lived iâ this way, so close together. How pretty the Stone-pits âull look when we get back!â
âIt looks comical to me, child, nowâand smells bad. I canât think as it usened to smell so.â
Here and there a sallow, begrimed face looked out from a gloomy doorway at the strangers, and increased Eppieâs uneasiness, so that it was a longed-for relief when they issued from the alleys into Shoe Lane, where there was a broader strip of sky.
âDear heart!â said Silas, âwhy, thereâs people coming out oâ the Yard as if theyâd been to chapel at this time oâ dayâa weekday noon!â
Suddenly he started and stood still with a look of distressed amazement, that alarmed Eppie. They were before an opening in front of a large factory, from which men and women were streaming for their midday meal.
âFather,â said Eppie, clasping his arm, âwhatâs the matter?â
But she had to speak again and again before Silas could answer her.
âItâs gone, child,â he said, at last, in strong agitationâ
âLantern Yardâs gone. It must haâ been here, because hereâs the house with the oâerhanging windowâI know thatâitâs just the same; but theyâve made this new opening; and see that big factory!
Itâs all goneâchapel and all.â
âCome into that little brush-shop and sit down, fatherâtheyâll let you sit down,â said Eppie, always on the watch lest one of her fatherâs strange attacks should come on. âPerhaps the people can tell you all about it.â
But neither from the brush-maker, who had come to Shoe Lane only ten years ago, when the factory was already built, nor from any other source within his reach, could Silas learn anything of the old Lantern Yard friends, or of Mr. Paston the minister.
âThe old place is all swepâ away,â Silas said to Dolly Winthrop on the night of his returnââthe little graveyard and everything.
The old homeâs gone; Iâve no home but this now. I shall never know whether they got at the truth oâ the robbery, nor whether Mr. Paston could haâ given me any light about the drawing oâ the lots. Itâs dark to me, Mrs. Winthrop, that is; I doubt itâll be dark to the last.â
âWell, yes, Master Marner,â said Dolly, who sat with a placid listening face, now bordered by grey hairs; âI doubt it may. Itâs the will oâ Them above as a many things should be dark to us; but thereâs some things as Iâve never felt iâ the dark about, and theyâre mostly what comes iâ the dayâs work. You were hard done by that once, Master Marner, and it seems as youâll never know the rights of it; but that doesnât hinder there being a rights, Master Marner, for all itâs dark to you and me.â
âNo,â said Silas, âno; that doesnât hinder. Since the time the child was sent to me and Iâve come to love her as myself, Iâve had light enough to trusten by; and now she says sheâll never leave me, I think I shall trusten till I die.â
CONCLUSION.
There was one time of the year which was held in Raveloe
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