The Diary of Jerrod Bently by J.W. Osborn (best autobiographies to read .TXT) 📖

the church and away was on.
“Great day in the mornin’ Pede,” Hap Jr cried as the two men ran, covering their faces with their hands against the stench. “I thought you said that skunk was close by, not in the church!”
“Was,” Pede said “Probably right under us from the smell of things.”


As he was riding away, Scrub Pot heard to commotion and saw the good people of Portersville running everywhere as he caught the unpleasant scent that now floated on the air. The old man grinned. “Thank you Father,” he said to himself as he approached Victoria’s cottage. The Great Spirit had spared him once again. As he rode up to the porch of the modest house, Doc stepped outside to have a smoke.
“Howdy, Zachariah,” he said as he lit his cigar with a wooden kitchen match. “What’s all the commotion about over at the church?”
“An unwelcome guest at your wedding,” Scrub Pot replied as he sat there on his paint looking at the neat little house surrounded by many flowering plants. Doc looked up at him. “Unwelcome guest?,” he questioned as he drew on his cigar “What are you talking about?”
“The breeze will tell you,” Scrub Pot answered,”and you owe me a dollar.”
Doc sniffed the air. “That is pole cat,” he stated in disgust “We must have got away just in the nick of time.” He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a silver dollar. “Parson’s fee,” he said with a wry grin on his face “But the pole cat’s free.” The old man shook his head and smiled as he caught the coin Doc flipped to him. “Go to your wife,” Scrub Pot said “She is the one that has to put up with you now.”
“She is a better cook than you, Zachariah,” Doc replied “I’ll see you after Abiline. We have some unfinished business to tend to back in Texas.”
“That we do, my friend,” Scrub Pot replied as he turned his horse to the road “Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” Doc said as he watched the old man ride away. The door behind him opened and Victoria walked out onto the porch. “Who was that?” she asked “I thought I heard someone ride in.” Doc turned to his wife and took her in his arms. “It was Scrub Pot,” he said. She gazed up at him and smiled. “Did he say what happened over at the church?”, she asked.
Without warning, Doc lifted her off her feet and into his arms. Victoria gasped in surprised. “Why Doc Stevens!,” she said “What are you doing?”
“I am going to carry my bride across the threshold, again,” he said wryly “Now that we are alone.” They kissed and then broke away. Victoria sniffed the air “That is an awful smell,” she stated as Doc carried her to the open door of the cottage.
“You are smelling the reason for the commotion back at the church,” Doc said as he carried her over the threshold for the second time that night.
She put her arms around his neck, “Well,” she said “No pole cat is going to bother us. At that she kicked the door closed behind them.


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“You see ‘im, Pede?,” Jake Titus asked anxiously as he held the lantern.
“No Sir, ” the old man replied from somewhere under the First Methodist Church of Portersville, “jest smell him. I’m thinkin’ that pole cat is long gone.”
“Well, you are probably right, ” Jake replied “Come on out of there. It’s time to go home.” Old Pede inched his way out of the dark crawl space and rose to his feet, dusting off his filthy overalls.
“Don’t ye know, Mr. Jake, that ye ain’t supposed to shoot a pole cat?” he said “It’s best just to let them go their way.” Titus thought about it and put his Navy Colt back in his holster. “Guess you are right, ” he said “This gun would blow that critter to pieces and make a bad situation even worse. Let’s have a look tomorrow and maybe you can trap it , like you did the one that got into my barn.”
“Sure enough., ” Pede replied with a toothless grin on his face. “Sure was a fine weddin’.”
“It sure was, “ Jake agreed “a surprise , but a fine wedding none the less. Now our new sherrif has a reason to stay around.”
“I heard tell that you and the judge got Doc Stevens swore in just before he married Miss Victoria.” Pede said as they walked to the front of the church yard where Jake’s mule waited.
“Sure did, Pede,” Jake replied with a sly grin, “Now I can get back to lawyerin’ and looking after J. W.’s next book.”
“Miss Victoria looked like one of them fairy tale princesses,” Pede said “My oh my, I never saw such pretty women as the ones with her either.”
Jake walked over to Molly and placing his foot in the stirrup, stepped up into his saddle . . “They sure looked nice,” Jake agreed as he unwound his rein from the saddle horn. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Pede. I am headed home.”
“Say Mister Jake?”
“Yeah.”
“I done told the sherrif that there’s centipedes down at the jail. If’n you git me some whiskey and some coal oil, I’ll git rid of them fer ye.”
“Tomorrow, Pede,” Jake said as he turned Molly toward the lane to ride East. “Let’s get rid of that skunk first. You take up the centipedes with Sherrif Stevens first thing in the morning.”
“Night, Jake,” Pede said as he watched him ride away on his red mule.
“Sure do admire that mule,” Pede said to himself “but that critter is as mean as a rattle snake.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++

As you might have guessed, Scrub Pot returned to camp, Angus and his bride rode off together into the sunset with plans to go home to Scotland. Ned Travis had been apprehended and was locked up in the Portersville jail, awaiting extradition back to Texas. His twin brother Nathan sat in his hotel room thinking about the future and Frances Bradford. Doc had married Victoria and was now officially the sherrif of Portersville. Sam was getting ready to move the herd on toward Kansas and the end of the trail. I was ready to go, there had been a whole lot of excitement these past few days, but for Doc Stevens, it wasn’t over yet.
Morning dawned, clear sunny. Doc turned over and hugged his pillow. Was he dreaming? He was lying in a luxurious feather bed and smelling bacon frying and biscuits baking. “Don’t want to wake up,” he muttered and tried to fall back to sleep. That was when the pounding on the front door of the house brought him immediately to his feet and grabbing his gun. “Victoria,” he shouted to his wife “Don’t open that door!”
“Sherrif!,” Old Pede shouted as he continued to beat on the door with all his might, “Open up! You gotta come quick!”
On hearing her husband shouting and all the commotion outside, Victoria dropped her biscuit pan and it clattered to the floor adding to the din and spilling hot biscuits everywhere. “It’s Pede!” , she shouted back to Doc over the rain of vigorous knocks on her front door. “Welcome to real life,” she said to herself as she stooped to salvage her biscuits. Doc pulled his pants on and shoved his feet into his boots and went to the door, his Colt in his hand. “What is it Pede?”, he demanded “and it better be good.”
“Sorry to disturb you, Sherrif,” the old man apologized “I know it is the mornin’ after yer wedding and all, but we got bad trouble down at the jail.”
Immediately, Doc thought about Ned. “Tell me Travis is still locked up,” he ground out.
Pede fiddled with his battered old hat. “He’s locked up all right,” he said “But that pole cat, what all but ruined the weddin’ last night done got under the jail and....” Doc’s frown turned into a grin and then he burst out laughing. His bride in her house dress appeared at the door behind him.
“Good morning, Pede,” she said to the old man “Doc? What is so funny?”
Doc was still laughing as he put his arm around his wife. “Seems old Ned has got himself some company down at the jail.”, he hee hawed.
“Pole cat, Miss Victoria,” Pede added “But I can get rid of that critter.”
“Sounds to me like it is already too late,” Victoria replied “Let’s all have breakfast before you do that. Come on in, Pede,” she added.
“Much obliged, Miss Victoria, Sherrif. ” the old man said “But that prisoner is carryin’ on somethin’ awful and I better get after that critter before it sprays again.”
Doc kissed his wife, “Sorry Vic,” he said “I have to go with Pede. Can we have breakfast when