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Read books online » Fiction » The Man from Home by Harry Leon Wilson (most popular ebook readers TXT) 📖

Book online «The Man from Home by Harry Leon Wilson (most popular ebook readers TXT) 📖». Author Harry Leon Wilson



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and fifty thousand pounds! Why, that's seven hundred and fifty thous—

[He pauses, then finishes decidedly.]

She couldn't use the money to better advantage.

[Enter ETHEL from the hotel. She has one thick book under her arm, another in her hand.][pg 037]

MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY

[to HORACE, with deep admiration]

My friend, how wise you are!

[She perceives ETHEL'S entrance over HORACE'S shoulder, and at once runs to her, embraces her, and kisses her, crying.]

Largesse, sweet Countess of Hawcastle! Largesse! and au revoir! Adieu! I leave you with your dear brother. A rivederci.

[She runs gayly out, waving her parasol to them as she goes.]

HORACE

[going to ETHEL]

Dear old sis, dear old pal!

[Affectionately gives her hand a squeeze and drops it.]

ETHEL

[radiant]

Isn't it glorious, Hoddy!

HORACE

The others are almost as pleased as we are.

[He leans back in chair, knees crossed, hands clasped over knees, and regards her proudly.]

ETHEL

[opens the books she carries, laying them on one of the tea-tables]

This is Burke's Peerage, and this is Froissart's Chronicles. I've been reading it all over again—the St. Aubyns at Crecy and Agincourt,

[with an exalted expression]

and St. Aubyn will be my name![pg 038]

HORACE

[smiling]

They want it to be your name soon, sis.

ETHEL

[suddenly thoughtful, speaks appealingly]

You're fond of Almeric, aren't you, Hoddy—you admire him, don't you?

HORACE

Certainly. Think of all he represents.

ETHEL

[enthusiastically]

Ah, yes! Crusader's blood flows in his veins. It is to the nobility that must be within him that I have plighted my troth. I am ready to marry him when they wish.

HORACE

Then as soon as the settlement is arranged. It'll take about all your share of the estate, sis, but it's worth it—a hundred and fifty thousand pounds.

ETHEL

[earnestly]

What better use could be made of a fortune than to maintain the state and high condition of so ancient a house?

HORACE

Doesn't it seem impossible that we were born in Indiana!

[He speaks seriously, as if the thing were incredible.]

ETHEL

[smiling]

But isn't it good that the pater "made his pile," as the Americans say, and let us come over here when we were young to find the nobler things, Hoddy—the nobler things!

HORACE

The nobler things—the nobler things, [pg 039] sis. When old Hawcastle dies I'll be saying, quite off-hand, you know, "My sister, the Countess of Hawcastle—"

ETHEL

[thoughtfully]

You don't suppose that father's friend, my guardian, this old Mr. Pike, will be—will be QUEER, do you?

HORACE

Well, the governor himself was rather raw, you know. This is probably a harmless enough old chap—easy to handle—

ETHEL

I wish I knew. I shouldn't like Almeric's family to think we had queer connections of any sort—and he might turn out to be quite shockingly American

[with genuine pathos]

I—I couldn't bear it, Hoddy.

HORACE

Then keep him out of the way. That's simple enough. None of them, except the solicitor, need see him.

[Instantly upon this there is a tremendous though distant commotion beyond the hotel—wild laughter and cheers, the tarantella played by mandolins and guitars, also sung, shouts of "Bravo Americano!" and "Yanka Dooda!" The noise continues and increases gradually.]

ETHEL

[as the uproar begins]

What is that?[pg 040]

HORACE

Must be a mob.

[LADY CREECH, flustered and hot, enters from the hotel. She is a haughty, cross-looking woman in the sixties.]

ETHEL

[going to LADY CREECH, speaks close to her ear and loudly]

Lady Creech—dear Lady Creech—what is the trouble?

LADY CREECH

Some horrible people coming to this hotel! They've made a riot in the village.

[The noise becomes suddenly louder. MARIANO, immediately upon LADY CREECH'S entrance, appears in hotel doors, makes a quick gesture toward breakfast-table, and withdraws.]

[MICHELE, laughing, immediately enters by same doors, goes rapidly to the breakfast-table and clears it. The others pay no attention to this.]

HORACE

[at steps up left]

It's not a riot—it's a revolution.

LADY CREECH

[sinking into a chair, angrily]

One of your horrid fellow-countrymen, my dear. Your Americans are really too—

ETHEL

[proudly]

Not my Americans, Lady Creech![pg 041]

HORACE

Not ours, you know. One could hardly say that, could one?

ALMERIC

[heard outside laughing]

Oh, I say, what a go!

[Enters from the hotel, laughing.]

Motor-car breaks down on the way here; one of the Johnnies in it, a German, discharges the chauffeur; and the other Johnny,

[he throws himself sprawling into a chair]

one of your Yankee chaps, Ethel, hires two silly little donkeys, like rabbits, you know, to pull the machine the rest of the way here. Then as they can't make it, by Jove, you know, he puts himself in the straps with the donkeys, and proceeds, attended by the populace. Ha, ha! I say!

[HORACE, gloomy, comes down and sits at tea-table.]

LADY CREECH

[angrily, to ALMERIC]

Don't mumble your words, Almeric. I never understand people when they mumble their words.

[RIBIERE, who looks anxious, appears in the hotel doorway, then stands aside on the stoop for MARIANO and MICHELE; they enter and pass him with trays, fresh cloth, etc., for table down right, which they rapidly proceed to set. A valet de chambre enters up left, following them immediately. [pg 042] He carries a tray with a silver dish of caviar and a bottle of vodka. As he enters he hesitates for one moment, looking inquiringly at RIBIERE, who motions him quickly toward MARIANO and MICHELE, and withdraws. Valet rapidly crosses right to table, sets caviar and vodka on the table, and exits up left. The others pay no attention to any of this.]

ALMERIC

I went up to this Yankee chap, I mean to say—he was pullin' and tuggin' along, you see, don't you?—and I said, "There you are, three of you all in a row, aren't you?"—meanin' him and the two donkeys, Ethel, you see.

LADY CREECH

[who has been leaning close to ALMERIC to listen]

Dreadful person!

ALMERIC

[continuing]

All he could answer was that he'd picked the best company in sight.

ETHEL

[annoyed, half under her breath]

Impertinent!

ALMERIC

No meanin' to it. I had him, you know, I rather think, didn't I?

[HAWCASTLE enters with MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY, a number of folded [pg 043] newspapers under his arm. Simultaneously loud cheers are heard from the village and a general renewal of the commotion.]

HAWCASTLE

Disgusting uproar!

MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY

[to ETHEL]

But we know that such Americans are not of your class, cherie.

ETHEL

A dreadful person, I quite fear.

HAWCASTLE

The English papers.

[Lays papers on one of the tea-tables.]

ALMERIC

I'll take the Pink 'Un, Governor. I'm off.

[Starts to go, the Pink 'Un under his arm.]

ETHEL

[rather shyly]

For a stroll, Almeric? Would you like me to go with you?

ALMERIC

[somewhat embarrassed]

Well, I rather thought I'd have a quiet bit of readin', you know.

ETHEL

[coldly]

Oh!

[Exit ALMERIC rapidly up left.]

LADY CREECH

[in a deep and gloomy voice]

The Church Register!

[HAWCASTLE gives her a paper.]

[HORACE takes the London Mail.]

[HAWCASTLE takes the Times.][pg 044]

[ETHEL and MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY walk back to the terrace railing, chatting. The others seat themselves about the tea-tables to read.]

HORACE

[unfolding his paper, speaks crossly to MARIANO]

Mariano, how long is this noise to continue?

MARIANO

[distractedly]

How can I know? We can do nothing.

MICHELE

[smilingly, looking up from table where he has continued to work]

The people outside will not go while they think there is once more a chance to see the North American who pull the automobile with those donkeys.

MARIANO

He have confuse' me; he have confuse' everybody. He will not be content with the déjeuner till he have the ham and the eggs. And he will have the eggs cooked only on one side, and how in the name of heaven can we tell which side?

RIBIERE

[appearing in the hotel doorway, speaks sharply but not loudly]

Garçon!

[MICHELE and MARIANO instantly step back from table and stand at attention, facing front, like soldiers. RIBIERE exits quickly again into hotel.][pg 045]

HAWCASTLE

[looking up from paper]

Upon my soul, who's all this?

MARIANO

[not turning his head, replies in an awed undertone]

It is Herr von Gröllerhagen, a German gentleman, Milor'.

HAWCASTLE

[amused, to HORACE]

Man that owned the automobile. Probably made a fortune in sausages.

VASILI

[heard within the hotel, approaching]

Nein, nein,

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