Reflections by Linda Dyanne Bolden (read e book .txt) 📖

to school for her first time. That was her first time being in the hospital, not the last time of course, and her first time riding in a patty wagon and guess what? It wasn’t her last!!
Before Tiara could complete her thoughts of her childhood memories in her journal the phone rang. She closed her journal and sat it on the end table beside her, then reached for the telephone. It was Tyrone on the other end. “Hi Tiara this is Tyrone did you get my messages I left earlier?” He asked. “Yes I did I just got in a little while ago.”(She lied) not wanting him to know that she was just as anxious to talk to him as he was to her. “So how are you doing?” she asked. “I ‘m fine just wanted to here your lovely voice and see if we could hook up sometime this week-end. I was thinking we could go out to dinner and a movie if you don’t have any plans.” “Well tomorrow is a bad time for me because my girls and I have made plans to go to dinner and then to a Luther Van dross’s concert. We can plan to go out another time.” “I hope it will be soon.” He interrupted her before she could respond. “I have been thinking about you every since I first saw you in the parking lot.” A smile appeared on her face as she listened to him talk in his sexy baritone voice, picturing him standing in the parking lot looking so sexy in his jeans, she always thought a suit and tie man was sexy, but she was entice by him and the way he looked in his jeans. “Huh… what did you say?’ she asked drifting in her first thoughts. “I said… where you work?” he bluntly stated “I work for United Insurance Company as an Insurance broker and you.” “I am a technician for Illinois Bell Telephone Company.” “So miss Tia, when came I take you out” he ask her changing the subject. “Maybe some time next week-end just call me later on in the week to confirm a date.” She responded not wanting to be too hasty on her decision to go out with him. “Okay” silence fell between lines and then he said “I will get back with you on Wednesday, I hope you don’t change your mind because I really want to get to know you Tiara.” “Okay Tyrone I will talk to you on Wednesday, bye.” “Have a good night sleep pretty lady.” Both lines went dead, Tiara put the phone in its cradle, as she leaned her head back against the sofa. She became enthused about the expectation of going out with Tyrone. She remembered she had to call her friend Pamela and she pick up the phone again to dial her number. One of Pam’s girlfriends answered the phone on the second ring and she asked to speak to Pam. “Hey girl I didn’t forget about our plans, you know I can’t wait.” “Who knows about you Tia, you can’t holla at your girl you’re always working so damn late everyday.” “That’s what I do- -work, anyways I will see you tomorrow about 4:30p.m. so don’t be late chick.” “You make sure you’re on time, bye.” Pamela said ending her conversation. Tiara thought she would get some rest and resume her writing about her earlier memories on another day.


CHAPTER THREE

DATING TYRONE
Tyrone definitely called on Wednesday to see if she would be free to go out on Friday or Saturday. She confirmed a date for Saturday with Tyrone. She wanted to look her best for him so she spend most of Friday evening preparing a special attire to wear, not deciding right way on the two dresses she pulled out of her closet. She knew the weather would be hot, so she wanted something cool and comfortable. Her stomach was doing flip flops from the mere thought of seeing him again and actually spending some time alone. It had been a long time since she dated. After her last relationship Tiara was very cautious about trusting her heart to another man, although she felt something magical with Tyi and she knew their courtship with one another would be pleasurable.

She was right about her and Tyrone, the first date and all the dates afterwards were great. They always enjoyed each others company and it was Tyrone who had insisted that she return to college to finish her degree in journalism. He told Tia if anyone that write as such as she does in her journal, then that person should become a writer, as usual Tia was writing in her journal as Tyrone sat in front of the TV watching his sports channel. Pam and Candice would recurrently tease her about all her time spent with Tyrone. Of course Pam most often than not was the one to say “you just kicked your girls to the side since you found you a man.” And Candice would say “you know!” “But I can’t blame her for that…with his fine self.” And all of them would laugh.

Some evenings Tyi would surprise her and stop by on his Harley and tell her that he wanted to take his lady for a nice long ride. She like the sound of that remark “his lady” and a ride on the Harley. When she first met him she fantasized about riding on his bike and she enjoyed every minute with him. She had no ideal that she would fall for him so fast but every day that she was away from him, her thoughts were always about him. Tiara was hoping that he would continue being the sweet gentle man that he had been for the last few months they had been dating.

She was older now and the fairytale stuff she had as a little girl with Terrance Clay were way behind her. As she thought about Terrance, it brought back some of the memories of the fun days and the sorrows growing up. Her instant magnetism with Tyrone was in similarity to her little girl’s attraction to Terrance Clay. Tiara started writing about the painful days before writing about her fun days.

Unmasking the Secret
The little girl short stories

Her mother didn’t have anything but probably a few clothing for them when she took off for Chicago to start a new life with her children and her family. She had some help from her sisters and brothers. Still she became good friends with a lady, living in their building; she was a city woman of course and took her mother under her wings. She schooled her on using whatever she had going for her, in order to get whatever she needed and her mother was a very beautiful woman and she believed she used that to her advantage. They were definitely on public aid and Tiara didn’t care how much food stamp a family get it just doesn’t cut the mustard when you have a lot kids to raise. She spend a lot of time in bars on weekends but during the weekdays she was there ironing, coo Huh king and cleaning for her kids, whomever she may have met or got involved with she did not allow them around her children. She was a very proud, caring and respected mother in the neighborhood.

Everyone knew Mrs. Winters and some women were even envies of her. Her mother held it together and she was very proud of her courage to overcome those insurmountable odds that could break anyone’s spirit. Her reasons for saying this is because of what she did when her father became ill, after all of the heartache and pain she had endure with him during their marriage, she went to his apartment and brought him back into her home to take care of him, after he became too sick to take care of himself. He was alone; years before he had turned ill, he had accidentally killed his girl friend. However this is something the little girl question in her mind today? You see, he was an alcoholic; his liver was completely eaten up from the alcohol. He gave her mom a very hard time about getting alcohol for him and at some point she started watering it down. Tia thought this was so funny but she did what she had to do. That was the spiritual side of her. Her kids thought she was crazy for taking him back in but she explain to them that she was more of a wife to him then than she had ever been. Go figure huh! Anyways she guess this was her way of saying to them, to death do us apart. So you see branches don’t fall far from the tree. She may have been the only one of her children that truly understood. You forgive and you move on.

Now since she got that out of the way she must begin talking about the anger and the bitterness that she had developed as she approach her teenage years. She was angry that her father was not there helping her mother with her children causing her to be on welfare for most of their up- bring. She was bitter because she had too many kids and she felt for a long time cheated out of the love and attention that she believed she deserved. She had assumed she was just being a little too selfish, that was perhaps the little girl in her. Eventually she saw that her mother had enough love to spread around to all of them, it’s just hard for her to see that when she had some many siblings in one house whole. To say the least she could never complain about being alone.
Anyway her deepest anger was focus towards herself, because she became ashamed and humiliated at herself for allowing what had happen to happen to her and never saying anything about it to stop it. She blames herself more than she blamed her brother for molesting her. She never told anyone in her family about the molestation. She became amazed how the mind works on her at times. She felt that she would try her best to put those painful memories aside, finding it creeping right back up haunting her once more. She would literally avoid going to the bathroom at times when she was at home in fear that her brother would follow her in there to take advantage of his little sister. He succeeded in doing just that every time he could and she did nothing about it but try as best as she could to stay far away from him as she could.
When she didn’t want to go outside to play with friends, she would go anyhow because she did not want to go into the house if she knew he was at home. She didn’t know how to tell her mother and she believed in her mind she didn’t care.

She was confused and too ashamed to confess anything at that point. Like most things in life you try to conceal it hoping that it would go away. That is one thing she has learned in life you can’t hide anything, it eventually come to a head. It can sometime cause destruction all around you when you hold unto things deeply buried inside of you.
You hear about these incidents all around you but sometimes you never believe that someone that your heart goes out to is yourself or someone close to you. She did eventually get to a crossroads in her life and she stopped blaming that little girl that she hated so much and the anger and bitterness subside and she was able to move on to forgive. She