Bordering on Insane by Erin Crowley (good e books to read .txt) 📖

my wrist and I collided with his chest.


"What are you thinking?! You give me a lecture about how you have a stalker after you and you run off by yourself?! Rave…look at me." I could here the panic in his voice and guilt washed over me. I went limp in his arms and tears leaked from my eyes.


'Why is this happening to me? I hate my life!"


"Rave, come on." I shook my head and took a step back. Synyster sighed and picked me up bridal style and carried me back to the house.


"Put.Me.Down."


"No!" Syn said, walking into the kitchen where Zacky was unloading a bunch of vodka.


"Did you buy any martini mix?" I asked. Zacky smiled and held up a large bottle. I clapped my hands and held them out, begging for it. Zacky laughed and gave it to me. I opened it up and drank some from the bottle, smiling from the sour taste.


"Are you just gonna drink that? Straight like that? No vodka?" Syn asked incredulously.


"Yupp! It's good. I always do it." I said, taking another drink, trying to distract myself. Syn set me down and helped Zacky unload the drinks.


I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts too numerous to count.


"Hey," his voice said, breaking through my mind. I rolled over and looked up at him, Synyster fucking Gates.


"What?"


"Nothing." Syn sat down next to me and I turned away, not wanting to look at him. "Rave." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He lay down next to me and rested his head on my shoulder. "When are you going to stop ignoring me?"


"I'm not." I said monotonously, still not looking at him.


"Rave please. Don't do this?" He tilted my face toward his and I blinked up into his eyes. No emotion left. Gone. It's all gone, gone, gone. Just like mom. Dead, dead, dead and buried. I felt his mouth press against mine but I couldn't come out of the swirling white fog that surrounded my mind. Lost. I'm so lost, lost, lost. Alone. Not alone. The fog cleared as I kissed back, wanting to feel. Wanting my emotions back.

Chapter Nine- Warmness On the Soul


*Fuck. Fuckety fuck fuck!* I thought as I sat up straight in my bed. *I'm such a whore.* Synyster rolled over and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.


*well at least I'm wearing clothes.* I thought, looking down at my PJ pants and cami. Syn, however…well all I knew what he wasn't wearing a shirt. I moved in fake slumber and stole the blankets, half wishing I hadn't when I saw Syn's boner through his boxers.


*Ha! Maybe nothing happened!* I thought. Syn groaned and pulled the blankets back over him, snuggling closer to me. I chuckled and rolled over so that I was facing him. I blew lightly in his face and he opened his eyes.


"Hi." He said sleepily.


"Hello, mister sleepyhead."


"Your breath smells minty." I laughed and flashed my gum at him. He rolled his eyes at me and I rolled over. Syn scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his head on my shoulder.


"Rave…"


"Yeaaaaaaah?"


"I love-"


"WAFFLES!" I said distractedly, cutting him off. Synyster sighed as I ran off to the kitchen where I saw Zacky making waffles.


"Thank god!"


"What are you talking about?" Zacky asked, putting a waffle on Johnny's plate.


"I was afraid Johnny or Shadows were cooking." Zacky looked confused, but then realized what I meant.


"Ha-ha. No I wouldn't allow Johnny to burn down our house."


"But you would prolly let Shadz cook. And he would, of course, scar us all by wearing only that small pink apron of his that says "kiss the cook"…well…now it says cock…" I said shuddering. Zacky laughed and put the fresh waffle on my plate. I smiled and hugged him before devouring the yummy waffle. I went back to my room and changed into black drainpipes and a Lock, Shock, and Barrel shirt. I outlined my eyes with green liner and added green mascara. I was putting on my converse as Syn walked into my room.


"Can I use your eyeliner?"


"No."


"Please?"


"Why?"


"Because Zacky only has mascara."


"Fine." I handed Syn a stick of black eyeliner and he outlined his eyes in my mirror.


"I love you." He said, tossing back my eyeliner. Zacky walked into my room and raised his eyebrow.


"Have you seen Ichabod?"


"No. I have not." I said, moving in front of my bed. Ichy decided that he wanted to stop hiding from his daddy though and bounded out, sitting at Zacky's feet.


"Liar. You trying to steal my dog?"


"No. He was hiding from you." I said, smiling. Zacky picked up his dog and stalked off, much to my amusement. I sat down on my bed and Syn sat down next to me.


"Plans for today?"


"Nope…prolly watch you all act like fags."


"Hey! I resent that!" Synyster exclaimed. I laughed and he looked around the room.


"Wanna go for a walk?" I smiled and shrugged.


"We'll see."

Chapter Ten- Scream


"ha-ha! I win!" Synyster smirked as we exited the house. I rolled my eyes and spun around in the cooling August air. As we walked down the street a teenage girl slammed her house door and sat down on the front steps. Her guitar case leaned against the stairs and she held an inward struggle, ending in her taking her guitar out of the case. She played a G chord and shook the hair out of her face before starting a mellow riff. She sang a few lyrics along with it before sighing and staring at the barren street.


"That was pretty good." I said, leaning against the porch railing. She looked up startled and stared at Syn.


"you…you're…Synyster Gates!!!" she said, her jaw hanging open in shock. He nodded carefully and I rolled my eyes.


"Yes, but I'm the tooth fairy!" I exclaimed. She blushed as she looked over at me, embarrassed.


"Hey wait, I know who you are…Damn it!" I laughed and decided to be nice.


"Rave Baker. I'm Zacky's sister." I smiled and she grinned back. Syn rolled his eyes and put his arm around my shoulders.


"You two together?" She asked, sounding like she was making fun of us in some weird way.


"No." "Yes." Me and Syn said at the same time, looking at each other. I crossed my arms and glared at him.


"Synyster."


"Raven."


"Brian."


"Hey! No fair!" Syn pouted.


"You used mine first." I said, turning my face away.


"Well you disagreed with me…again."


"Let's finish this elsewhere."


"Fine" Syn picked me up and with a wave goodbye to the girl, carried me down the street.


"Put me down, Syn."


"Nope. We're discussing this issue first." He said, heading toward the park.


"What is there to discuss? We aren't dating. I told the truth."


"Rave. Don't start this again." He said, putting me down but still holding onto my waist.


"I'm not the one starting it. Why can't you leave it alone?"


"Because, Rave, I can't stand it. I'm in-" I placed my hand over his mouth and stared up into his eyes.


"Don't say it."


"Don't say what? That no matter what happens, I can't change the fact that I'm in love with you? Don't you get it Rave, I can't stand by when I know we can work!" Tears were falling from my eyes and I couldn't speak. My emotions were shutting down again. Empty. A black hole inside of me. Emotions gone. Dead, dead, dead. Just like mom.


~~~~~~~~~~Syn's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"-why can't you just leave it alone?"


"Because Rave, I can't stand it! I'm in-" Rave placed her hand over my mouth and shook her head.


"Don't say it." Her voice was almost a whisper. A mixture of rage and hurt flowed through me.


"Don't say what? That no matter what happens, I can't change the fact that I'm in love with you? Don't you get it Rave, I can't stand by when I know we can work!" My voice had a better edge to them but softened near the end. Rave blinked hard, tears streaking down her face.


"Rave…" I tilted her head up and looked down into her mesmerizing green eyes. I would give anything to be the reason she smiled instead of cried. I wished she could understand how I felt. I pulled her closer and rested my forehead against the top of her head. It started to rain, steady and thick. We stayed like that for a few minutes, resulting in us getting soaked. I tilted her face up to mine and kissed her softly.


******************Rave's POV********************


Syn kissed me and my mind went blank. My arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer when all I wanted to do was push him away. I always make things more complicated for myself. I pulled away and turned to face the deserted park. People were rushing to get everything in their cars before driving away. Everyone except for him. He stood by the swingset, watching us with flame in his icy blue eyes. He took a step closer and I screamed,


"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Spike looked at me before taking another step forward. Syn grabbed my hand and pulled me backward. His mouth rested near my ear and he whispered,


"Police are on their way. STALL."

Chapter Eleven- Strength of the World


"What do you want?" I repeated. Spike said nothing and continued walking toward us.


"You still haven't figured it out. I don't believe it." Synyster placed himself between me and him and Spike laughed.


"Give the cops my regards would ya? I really must go now." Spike disappeared in the blink of an eye and Syn swore.


"Fuck! Now what?"


Hey, guys! I'm going to meet Jason downtown in a sec so I'll see ya'll later. Jason is staying around for a while so he's prolly gonna come to one of our practices. He and Rave can make fun of us together." Johnny said, laughing. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him.


"Shut up, midget." Five years ago, Jason came to town for a week and whenever he came over, we made fun