Cemetery Street by John Zunski (ebook reader color screen .txt) đ
- Author: John Zunski
Book online «Cemetery Street by John Zunski (ebook reader color screen .txt) đ». Author John Zunski
âA black GTI?â I asked, throat tightening around my words.
Bradigan looked at me. âYeah,â he answered. âYou know âem?â
âShit,â I cried. I bolted towards the railroad tracks calling her name. âSHANNIE!â
âHey! Yo! Stop! Where do you think youâre going?â
âJames!â Steveâs voice trailed. âDonât!â
Ignoring them, I ran past a firefighter returning from the other side of the resting dragon. I climbed between boxcars and dashed upon the horrid scene. A hundred odd feet south of Main Street, in the artificial light of another fire truck, Saphix lay sheered in half. Four firefighters worked over the wreckage.
Slowly, disbelieving, I approached the twisted mass. I stumbled over something; I threw my hands in front of me. Pain raced up my arms. I looked to see what I fell over. A blue tarp covered her. I bellowed a mute scream. A small white hand clenched into a fist protruded from the tarp. Kneeling next to her body, I watched my hand seek Shannieâs. I wretched feeling its coldness. She couldnât be dead! I reached above her head to remove the tarp.
âDonât James!â A far away voice warned.
Suddenly a force drove me backward, flattening me against the ground. âDonât do it James,â Steveâs voice cried out from above. âYou donât want to know.â
I struggled under the weight. Suddenly, I felt myself pulled upwards, off the ground and onto my feet. Shouting, cursing and crying I struggled to free myself from the powerful grip. From faraway, I heard Steve pleading with me to calm down. The more I struggled the tighter the grip became before I was yanked off my feet and restrained against Bradiganâs chest. âRelax buddy, relax,â the lummoxâs voice coaxed. âItâll be okay.â
âPut me down!â Somehow detached, I heard my pleading screams. My voice, like my thoughts seemed eerily removed â like a distant wolfâs howl on a fog-laden night.
âYou okay?â my fatherâs voice asked.
I jumped, startled to hear his voice. My father stood inside the kitchen door, keeping a safe distance. He looked exhausted, dark rings were tattooed under bloodshot eyes. Recent developing jowls hung from his chin.
âIs it true dad? Please, please tell me itâs just a nightmare. Tell me itâll all go away.â
My father shook his head. âI wish I could James. I wish I could.â
I turned my back to him. I gazed at the Ortolanâs house in the morning gloom. It was silly to be pissed at him, I knew he couldnât do anything about Shannie, but I couldnât help hating him for never being able to do anything about anything.
âCome over; stay with Diane and me for awhile.â
âI canât.â I eyed his reflection in the window. His eyes swelled as I mouthed my answer. âIâm sorry. I canât dad. Thereâs too much of her there. Shannieâs everywhere. I canât be there now.â I pretended to study the tombstones while watching my fatherâs reflection. It approached me and placed its hand on my shoulder. I recoiled to his touch. He didnât withdraw his hand.
âYou know, youâre not the only one she abandoned.â
I knew he meant my mother. I faced my father. His eyes met my glare. Moments passed before I blinked. âHowâs Diane?â
âSedated,â he sighed. âWeâll see how she does later today.â
âSheâs a strong woman,â I said stupidly, wincing at my platitude.
âYes she is. Sheâs going to need every bit of it.â He placed his hand on my shoulder again. âJames. It would mean a lot to her â it would mean a lot to me, it would mean a lot to the both of us if you spent time with us now. We need each other.â My father paused again. âPlease?â
After my father left I stared at the phone, finding reasons not to return Kristaâs call. I fought the temptation to hop into my car and drive. Where, I hadnât an idea. As much as the idea appealed to me, I couldnât, whatever remained of my family needed me. I was oblivious that the exact opposite was true.
I retreated to my room. I avoided looking over Shannieâs yard and Fernwood. I was tired of life at this dead end. Eyes closed, I pulled my window shades shut and climbed into bed. Despite my exhaustion, I couldnât sleep. My mind raced back to the accident.
âItâs definitely them,â Steve told Bradigan after identifying the bodies. âThe Driverâs name is Genise Gray. The passengerâs name is Shannie Ortolan.â
âAny idea of next of kin for Ms. Gray?â Bradigan asked.
âShe has a brother,â I broke my silence. I was leaning against the back of the police car. âIf it helps, his nameâs Calvin Gray. Used to be in the Army, 101st Airborne.â
âThatâll help,â Bradigan said.
Turning my head away from the cop, I noticed Russell standing on the steps of JDâs, towering above those on the sidewalk, his facial features obscured by a cloud of cigar smoke. I imagined him peering through his sunglasses, studying the scene. I scratched the idea of approaching him and breaking the news that his Butterfly lay broken on the far side of the tracks. I overheard a shaken voice identify himself as the trainâs engineer. I turned towards the owner of the voice.
A combination of rage, compassion and pity struck me as my eyes fell upon him. Whatever I expected an engineer to look like, he wasnât it. How could someone so frail operate such a powerful beast? In the years Shannie and I dodged freights, Iâve always harbored images of engineers being big, burley men âworthy of operating something so powerful. This man was suited for operating a card-catalogue at the public library. His haggard face was framed by small oval glasses, like my grandfather used to wear. Unlike my grandfatherâs meaty, round face, the engineerâs face was thin and sickly, an oval with pencil marks for nose and lips, his eyes no more than slits topped by eyebrows as thick as forsythia. He looked incapable of accidentally killing an ant let alone someone as vital as Shannie.
âWhat did you see?â Bradigan asked.
The engineer paused, exhaling a long breath before speaking. âAs we approached the crossing, the car pulled around the gate and stopped on the tracks. Iâve seen it before, you know, drunks playing chicken. Hell, Iâve had pedestrians at this very crossing stand in front of me, waiting till the last second before dodging me; damn imbeciles. I donât know what possess them. Anyway, the car stops, I lay on the horn. It wasnât till the passenger door opened and the blonde jumps out that I figured this one wasnât playing. I immediately laid on the emergency breaks, but you know as well as anyone thereâs no way the train was going to stop in time. The passenger, the blonde, I could see her in the headlights, she paused for a second, looking at the train, I swear she was studying it. She ran around to the driverâs side. I could see her yanking on the door, pounding on the window. She looked up at us again; I could see the fear on her face. I started to yell, screaming to her to clear the crossing, like sheâd hear me. Instead she jumped over the hood, leaned into the car, across the driver and opened the door from the inside.â
The engineer paused, lowering his head. I watched him as he stared at snowflakes evaporating upon the streetâs surface. Looking up, the engineer continued. âShe tried to get out. She did, she tried to get out. She ran out of time. She just ran out of time. I closed my eyes when the car slipped under my sight line. I cringed when I felt the crash.â The engineer returned to his study of the melting snowflakes.
âWhat are we going to tell Diane?â Steve asked. We were sitting in his car at the intersection of Cemetery and Bainbridge Streets. We both stared at the darkened house at the end of Cemetery Street.
âShannie burbled,â I said.
âShe what?â Steve asked.
âShe burbled. She did something too good. She was so good she got herself killed.â In short sequence, all the lights inside the house at the end of Cemetery Street sprung to life. I groaned.
âShe knows,â Steve sighed. âMan, her life just changed. Fuck.â
I glanced at Steve as his car crept towards Dianeâs driveway. I wasnât comfortable with our charge, but Steve was right, besides providing whatever comfort we could, we had to stop Diane from seeing the carnage that claimed her daughter. God knows I regretted stumbling upon the scene.
âYou know how sheâs going to react,â I told Steve as we approached the front door. âI donât know if I can handle this.â Pausing, I took a deep breath before knocking.
The door swung open. I fell upon my heels as I met Dianeâs eyes. Hers was Shannieâs face, but aged, more weather beaten. Shock deepened the crowâs feet aside Dianeâs green eyes, which were dull and bloodshot. âJames,â she sighed, her dry lips quivering under her thin nose. As we embraced her blond hair cascaded over the front of her shoulders. Through my tears I noticed that even their hair smelled similar. Diane pulled me tighter to her chest, itself heaving with sobs. She rested her head upon my shoulder. In every way, mother and daughter seemed similar, even how they climbed the short flight of stairs and floated across the kitchen floor. Only in the eternal absence of one did I gain this understanding of the other. At that moment I realized I could no longer live in Beyford. I loved Diane like a mother, but I couldnât exist near this living, breathing reminder of Shannie. She was already a haunting replica of who Shannie could have been.
It didnât take much convincing on Steveâs part to dissuade Diane from journeying to the scene or viewing Shannieâs remains. âShe wouldnât have wanted me to see her like that,â Diane whispered hoarsely. âYou know, I always had this feeling, this feeling that something would happen to her. She was always so carefree, terribly carefree. Reckless.â
I peered over the top of my coffee at Diane, surprised by her words. I never thought Shannie reckless. To the contrary, she was extraordinarily calculating when it came to risk. She was keenly aware of threats. She always had an escape route. Thatâs why the engineerâs account troubled me. If she wanted out, she would have stepped away. In her last moments, I wonder what she thought, I wonder if she regretted her choice?
The four of us talked into the night, sometimes painfully honest, sometimes not, the kitchen walls witnessed many tears, long moments of silence, and even a laugh or two. Steve assured Diane he would handle the smallest of details. As the first hint of morning flirted with the eastern sky, my father suggested that we try to get some rest, offering valium to any taker. My father, I thought, such the subtle diplomat, what better way to sedate Diane than offering us all a sedative. Maybe he isnât the clod I know him to be.
I snuck out of Dianeâs house as my father put Shannieâs grieving mother to bed, leaving behind the grueling details to Steve and my father. I wandered through the Ortolanâs yard, under the bare limbs of the tree line and into Fernwood. I stared at Countâs headstone. I glanced at the darkened old chapel before heading home. Iâd break the news to the Lightmanâs after they woke.
I bolted upright
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