Mother by Maxim Gorky (bookstand for reading .TXT) đ
- Author: Maxim Gorky
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Lighting his pipe, he turned to Nikolay, spitting frequently on the floor:
âSo she doesnât want to? Well, thatâs her affair! A person is free to feel as he wants to. Are you tired of sitting in prison? Go. Are you tired of going? Sit. They robbed you? Keep still. They beat you? Bear it. They have killed you? Stay dead. Thatâs certain. And Iâll carry off Savka; Iâll carry him off!â His curt, barking phrases, full of good-natured irony, perplexed the mother. But his last words aroused envy in her.
While walking along the street in the face of a cold wind and rain; she thought of Nikolay, âWhat a man heâs become! Think of it!â And remembering Godun, she almost prayerfully reflected, âIt seems Iâm not the only one who lives for the new. Itâs a big fire if it so cleanses and burns all who see it.â Then she thought of her son, âIf he only agreed!â
On Sunday, taking leave of Pavel in the waiting room of the prison, she felt a little lump of paper in her hand. She started as if it burned her skin, and cast a look of question and entreaty into her sonâs face. But she found no answer there. Pavelâs blue eyes smiled with the usual composed smile familiar to her.
âGood-by!â she sighed.
The son again put out his hand to her, and a certain kindness and tenderness for her quivered on his face. âGood-by, mamma!â
She waited without letting go of his hand. âDonât be uneasyâ donât be angry,â he said.
These words and the stubborn folds between his brows answered her question. âWell, what do you mean?â she muttered, drooping her head. âWhat of it?â And she quickly walked away without looking at him, in order not to betray her feelings by the tears in her eyes and the quiver of her lips. On the road she thought that the bones of the hand which had pressed her sonâs hand ached and grew heavy, as if she had been struck on the shoulder.
At home, after thrusting the note into Nikolayâs hand, she stood before him, and waited while he smoothed out the tight little roll. She felt a tremor of hope again; but Nikolay said:
âOf course, this is what he writes: âWe will not go away, comrade; we cannot, not one of us. We should lose respect for ourselves. Take into consideration the peasant recently arrested. He has merited your solicitude; he deserves that you expend much time and energy on him. Itâs very hard for him hereâdaily collisions with the authorities. Heâs already had the twenty-four hours of the dark cell. They torture him to death. We all intercede for him. Soothe and be kind to my mother; tell her; sheâll understand all. Pavel.ââ
The mother straightened herself easily, and proudly tossed her head.
âWell, what is there to tell me?â she said firmly. âI understandâ they want to go straight at the authorities againââthere! condemn the truth!ââ
Nikolay quickly turned aside, took out his handkerchief, blew his nose aloud, and mumbled: âIâve caught a cold, you see!â Covering his eyes with his hands, under the pretext of adjusting his glasses, he paced up and down the room, and said: âWe shouldnât have been successful anyway.â
âNever mind; let the trial come off!â said the mother frowning.
âHere, Iâve received a letter from a comrade in St. Petersburgâ-â
âHe can escape from Siberia, too, canât he?â
âOf course! The comrade writes: âThe trial is appointed for the near future; the sentence is certainâexile for everybody!â You see, these petty cheats convert their court into the most trivial comedy. You understand? Sentence is pronounced in St. Petersburg before the trial.â
âStop!â the mother said resolutely. âYou neednât comfort me or explain to me. Pasha wonât do what isnât rightâhe wonât torture himself for nothing.â She paused to catch breath. âNor will he torture others, and he loves me, yes. You see, he thinks of me. âExplain to her,â he writes; âsoothe her and comfort her,â eh?â
Her heart beat quickly but boldly, and her head whirled slightly from excitement.
âYour sonâs a splendid man! I respect and love him very much.â
âI tell you whatâletâs think of something in regard to Rybin,â she suggested.
She wanted to do something forthwithâgo somewhere, walk till she dropped from exhaustion, and then fall asleep, content with the dayâs work.
âYesâvery well!â said Nikolay, pacing through the room. âWhy not? We ought to have Sashenka here!â
âSheâll be here soon. She always comes on my visiting day to Pasha.â
Thoughtfully drooping his head, biting his lips and twisting his beard, Nikolay sat on the sofa by the motherâs side.
âIâm sorry my sister isnât here. She ought to occupy herself with Rybinâs case.â
âIt would be well to arrange it at once, while Pasha is there. It would be pleasant for him.â
The bell rang. They looked at each other.
âThatâs Sasha,â Nikolay whispered.
âHow will you tell her?â the mother whispered back.
âYesâum!âitâs hard!â
âI pity her very much.â
The bell rang again, not so loud, as if the person on the other side of the door had also fallen to thinking and hesitated. Nikolay and the mother rose simultaneously, but at the kitchen door Nikolay turned aside.
âYouâd better do it,â he said.
âHeâs not willing?â the girl asked the moment the mother opened the door.
âNo.â
âI knew it!â Sashaâs face paled. She unbuttoned her coat, fastened two buttons again, then tried to remove her coat, unsuccessfully, of course. âDreadful weatherârain, wind; itâs disgusting! Is he well?â
âYes.â
âWell and happy; always the same, and only thisââ Her tone was disconsolate, and she regarded her hands.
âHe writes that Rybin ought to be freed.â The mother kept her eyes turned from the girl.
âYes? It seems to me we ought to make use of this plan.â
âI think so, too,â said Nikolay, appearing at the door. âHow do you do, Sasha?â
The girl asked, extending her hand to him:
âWhatâs the question about? Arenât all agreed that the plan is practicable? I know they are.â
âAnd whoâll organize it? Everybodyâs occupied.â
âGive it to me,â said Sasha, quickly jumping to her feet. âI have time!â
âTake it. But you must ask others.â
âVery well, I will. Iâll go at once.â
She began to button up her coat again with sure, thin fingers.
âYou ought to rest a little,â the mother advised.
Sasha smiled and answered in a softer voice:
âDonât worry about me. Iâm not tired.â And silently pressing their hands, she left once more, cold and stern.
The mother and Nikolay, walking up to the window, watched the girl pass through the yard and disappear beyond the gate. Nikolay whistled quietly, sat down at the table and began to write.
âSheâll occupy herself with this affair, and itâll be easier for her,â the mother reflected.
âYes, of course!â responded Nikolay, and turning around to the mother with a kind smile on his face, asked: âAnd how about you, Nilovnaâdid this cup of bitterness escape you? Did you never know the pangs for a beloved person?â
âWell!â exclaimed the mother with a wave of her hand. âWhat sort of a pang? The fear they had whether they wonât marry me off to this man or that man?â
âAnd you liked no one?â
She thought a little, and answered:
âI donât recall, my dear! How can it be that I didnât like anybody? I suppose there was somebody I was fond of, but I donât remember.â
She looked at him, and concluded simply, with sad composure: âMy husband beat me a lot; and everything that was before him was effaced from my soul.â
Nikolay turned back to the table; the mother walked out of the room for a minute. On her return Nikolay looked at her kindly and began to speak softly and lovingly. His reminiscences stroked her like a caress.
âAnd I, you see, was like Sashenka. I loved a girl: a marvelous being, a wonder, aâguiding star; she was gentle and bright for me. I met her about twenty years ago, and from that time on I loved her. And I love her now, too, to speak the truth. I love her all soâ with my whole soulâgratefullyâforever!â
Standing by his side the mother saw his eyes lighted from within by a clear, warm light. His hands folded over the back of the chair, and his head leaning on them, he looked into the distance; his whole body, lean and slender, but powerful, seemed to strive upward, like the stalk of a plant toward the sun.
âWhy didnât you marry? You should have!â
âOh, sheâs been married five years!â
âAnd before thatâwhat was the matter? Didnât she love you?â
He thought a while, and answered:
âYes, apparently she loved me; Iâm certain she did. But, you see, it was always this way: I was in prison, she was free; I was free, she was in prison or in exile. Thatâs very much like Sashaâs position, really. Finally they exiled her to Siberia for ten years. I wanted to follow her, but I was ashamed and she was ashamed, and I remained here. Then she met another manâa comrade of mine, a very good fellow, and they escaped together. Now they live abroad. Yesâ-â
Nikolay took off his glasses, wiped them, held them up to the light and began to wipe them again.
âAh, you, my dear!â the mother exclaimed lovingly, shaking her head. She was sorry for him; at the same time something compelled her to smile a warm, motherly smile. He changed his pose, took the pen in his hand, and said, punctuating the rhythm of his speed with waves of his hand:
âFamily life always diminishes the energy of a revolutionist. Children must be maintained in security, and thereâs the need to work a great deal for oneâs bread. The revolutionist ought without cease to develop every iota of his energy; he must deepen and broaden it; but this demands time. He must always be at the head, because weâthe workingmenâare called by the logic of history to destroy the old world, to create the new life; and if we stop, if we yield to exhaustion, or are attracted by the possibility of a little immediate conquest, itâs badâitâs almost treachery to the cause. No revolutionist can adhere closely to an individualâwalk through life side by side with another individualâwithout distorting his faith; and we must never forget that our aim is not little conquests, but only complete victory!â
His voice became firm, his face paled, and his eyes kindled with the force that characterized him. The bell sounded again. It was Liudmila. She wore an overcoat too light for the season, her cheeks were purple with the cold. Removing her torn overshoes, she said in a vexed voice:
âThe date of the trial is appointedâin a week!â
âReally?â shouted Nikolay from the room.
The mother quickly walked up to him, not understanding whether fright or joy agitated her. Liudmila, keeping step with her, said, with irony in her low voice:
âYes, really! The assistant prosecuting attorney, Shostak, just now brought the incriminating acts. In the court they say, quite openly, that the sentence has already been fixed. What does it mean? Do the authorities fear that the judges will deal too mercifully with the enemies of the government? Having so long and so assiduously kept corrupting their servants, is the government still unassured of their readiness to be scoundrels?â
Liudmila sat on the sofa, rubbing her lean cheeks with her palms; her dull eyes burned contemptuous scorn, and her voice filled with growing wrath.
âYou
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