Howl by Brieanna Boyce (chrome ebook reader txt) 📖

meowed, his name’s Jason and the practically mute albino his name’s Gerard.”
I smiled happily “hello nice to meet you all,” adding mentally except you Meg you can go jump off a bridge.
“Okay,” Kale said “Let’s get going.”
Derek walked over to me and was about to reach for me.
“Derek I’ll take her.”
Derek looked at Kale skeptically, “You sure?”
“Take me where?” I looked around obviously completely out of the loop.
“To where we are going,” Kale scooped me up and carried me on his back.
“Oh!” I yelped in surprise. “I appreciate this but is this really necessary?”
“The pain you suffer during the change is so much you won’t be able to walk.”
“Oh,” I frowned. I never really was fond of pain.
Meg grinned and added “Yeah and because you're bodies so small and childlike it'll probably hurt more.”
“Ignore her,” Derek added walking alongside Kale “She’s on constant Menstrual Mode.”
I chuckled and winced when I felt my ribs spasm and nearly explode out of my chest.
“Is it really starting already?” Gerard assessed with morbid interest.
“Looks like,” Jason added.
Kale smiled “hey you got Gerard the albino to talk and Jason usually doesn’t talk this much to strangers.”
I groaned as the pain blossomed in my spine so much so that it felt it was ripping apart from everything like it had become a squirming insect supporting me in replacement of a spine.
Kale frowned, “alright guys it sounds like it’s already going to the worse stages, Skylar hold on tight and rest your head on my shoulder we’ll run as fast as we can.”
I did as he said incapable of responding because I was in such pain. I felt the stabbing pressure all over my head and face. I heard my bones snapping and felt my body seizing. My organs felt like they were explode and I thought I was going to explode out of my skin I was actually hoping for it. At least then it’d be over.
I faintly could feel them stop and heard them talking to me while bringing me inside. I was brought to a room and laid down on a bed and then suddenly I felt my insides burning and the snapping and exploding seemed only to get worse and then suddenly I felt my heart and lungs start to shut down leaving me desperately gasping for air.
I felt Kale’s lips on mine forcing air into my lungs then pushing on my chest. At that moment under several torrents of pain crashing over me in one terrible wave after another I had come to the conclusion that I’d die and I looked at Kale desperately fighting for my life then out the window to the proud and boastful full moon, laughing at me and my suffering.
I felt a weird sensation as if a fluid was leaking throughout my flesh.
“Why’s her skin turning black?”
“Oh my god that’s the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen!Gross!”
“I don’t think she’s supposed to be bleeding.”
My eyes were closed, or at least I think they were it was weird my body was not my own and I no longer had any control over it I was in a world of pain so much so that I couldn’t at the moment comprehend the voices or anything they were saying.
“Hold on.”
I heard a voice say, it was warm and comforting and familiar I held on to that voice throughout the storm raging in and out of my body. It was Kale and suddenly the memory of all the events leading up into this moment came into play. I did as he said trying to hold on as best I could; using him as an anchor in all this confusion. Then suddenly another voice came into play in my head it didn’t sound like me in fact it didn’t even sound human and yet I identified it as my own inner voice. It didn’t command me in human words and yet I understood it easily.
“Kale is your mate, your alpha leader, you owe him your life, body, mind and heart and you will serve him however he sees fit.”
I felt a chill run down my spine and oddly as I had this inner conversation I noticed the pain was receding,
“Who are you? What is this? What do you mean mate?”
“I am you or the she-wolf part of you; you are in the final stage of the change but this is the part that decides whether you live or die.”
I thought back to when Kale and I were in my room and he was discussing the transformation and how it would change my life.
“Remember A werewolf is half human half wolf and although physically you can go back to being human mentally you will never again be wholly human.”
This must’ve been what Kale meant this “she-wolf side” was a part of me.
“What do I have to do to make it through this change she-wolf?”
“You’ve already won half the battle accepting me as a part of you. However you must think of the things most precious to you…”
It looked like this would be easy I thought of Aiden first, then my mother, my father, and Tristan, then unable to control it I pictured Kale.
“Now you must let those precious things go.” The she-wolf added.
A wave of pain broke through or conversation and I almost gave in letting it take me in.
“Focus,” The she-wolf hissed “We are not dying now focus think of those things you most love and then you must let them go.”
“Do I have to let them go forever?” I felt sadness overcome me if that was the case then what’s the point in living if I won’t love anything dear to me.
“No you do not,” the she-wolf answered “and even as you are a wolf you will feel compassion when you have changed you will be in my mind just as I am now in yours. However you will feel a stronger compassion for your pack as well they will be your friends and family as you are a wolf but because you will still be in my mind I will feel a slight compassion for those you care for.”
Relief took sadness’s place and I pictured mom her beautiful auburn hair, her big beautiful green eyes and the same freckles that dotted her nose dotted mine, she was smiling radiantly wearing a classy but cute white summer dress she smelled of honeysuckle and lilacs her hair fell down perfectly and she emanated kindness from within her. Just as she looked the day she died.
Adoni, I remembered when he was little and I helped teach him to ride a bike, or wrestled with him, or held him close when he cried or slept in his bed when I was worried about him. He had big green eyes that even now shined like mom’s used to, he was full of wonder and love for all of us. He had an ability to put a smile on anyone’s face and could win over anyone who truly took the time to know him. He still possessed all those great qualities and if you asked me now what I loved most in the world would be Adoni. Shakespeare had once explained that “love is when you would die for that person.” I would choose a hundred painful deaths to save him and perhaps it was because my father had told me every single day my whole childhood that it was my job to protect him since when he was growing up he was always sick. Or perhaps it is because he’s my twin brother. Or perhaps it’s more maybe it isn’t something I can explain with words. Whatever the case I love him more than anything.
I remembered daddy and the man he used to be, smiling all the time and playing with Adoni and I all the time, cuddling mom. Then she died I remember everything about that day, Mom was going to visit some family in Massachusetts and asked to go alone since her uncle had died. We reluctantly obeyed and stayed home and when we all watched the news on the couch we saw that our mom’s car crashed in a pile up…and there were no survivors. I stared blankly at the television, Adoni cried leaning on me, and Dad covered his face. After that I hadn’t seen him smile, or do much of anything but work. I missed my old dad and I hoped and prayed my “death,” wouldn’t destroy him.
I thought of Tristan the boy I grew up with, he seemed to age physically and although I was curious as to how he could physically change his appearance a part of me didn’t want to know. I remember being little and spending summers with him going to school with him. I remember hanging out with other friends together and talking together sometimes when others weren’t around. I remember being little and one day his father’s car broke down and we drove him home I remember I must’ve been seven or eight and using the “I love you,” sign and him doing the same. I wasn’t aware how old he was in fact now it seemed I knew nothing of him but I hoped remnants of the person he pretended to be were true.
Then without controlling it I thought of Kale.
“Now let go of it all,” the she-wolf commanded.
I let my mind become blank and I let the transformation take over.


The pain receded and my eyes opened and I could feel my body changing, fur growing all over; paws taking the place of hands. I was terrified but the she-wolf calmed me down sending me waves of reassurance. How was this any part of me? She was so calm and sure.
The voice did the equivalent of chuckling, “I am not so confident, I’m just as nervous as you I know what will fix that though.”
She began to run and both of us felt the muscles work easily, running took on new meanings and we darted happily through the woods both me and the she-wolfs spirits seeming to overflow. We darted between the tries easily and the other pack members tried to catch up but we were too fast I could have ran forever but eventually the she- wolf stopped and turned us around.
“Aw,” I whined sadly.
“Kale has commanded us back,” the she-wolf said simply.
“So?” I said truly not caring about what Kale wanted.
“Kale has sacrificed himself and his pack for you, you will not speak ill of him.”
She approached Kale finding him incredibly appealing and although he was a beautiful creature I couldn’t really be attracted to a wolf and I was shocked at how she wasn’t embarrassed of the sinful thoughts appearing in her head, she didn’t bother trying to hide it. Kale rubbed his head affectionately against ours, I wondered if his head was split like ours, mine, I wasn’t sure anymore.
The she wolf responded in the same way leaving me helpless and frustrated I didn’t want to do any of this I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I had no control over a body that was supposed to be mine. Kale howled into the night and the rest of the pack (including me, or rather the she wolf) followed his lead. Then, we proceeded on a trail on which I wasn’t sure of the destination so trying to distract myself from frustration and insanity I focused on my wolf body’s heightened senses. As I went through the woods I picked up on scents that I would’ve never had any idea about and with human ears I