The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald (summer beach reads .txt) đ
- Author: F. Scott Fitzgerald
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âWhat?â
âHe said this was a good time to do it because I didnât have a damn penny in there!â
âYou didnât?â
âThatâs what he told me. Seems Iâd given these Bedros people a check for sixty for that last case of liquorâand I only had forty-five dollars in the bank. Well, the Bedros people deposited fifteen dollars to my account and drew the whole thing out.â
In her ignorance Gloria conjured up a spectre of imprisonment and disgrace.
âOh, they wonât do anything,â he assured her. âBootleggingâs too risky a business. Theyâll send me a bill for fifteen dollars and Iâll pay it.â
âOh.â She considered a moment. ââWell, we can sell another bond.â
He laughed sarcastically.
âOh, yes, thatâs always easy. When the few bonds we have that are paying any interest at all are only worth between fifty and eighty cents on the dollar. We lose about half the bond every time we sell.â
âWhat else can we do?â
âOh, weâll sell somethingâas usual. Weâve got paper worth eighty thousand dollars at par.â Again he laughed unpleasantly. âBring about thirty thousand on the open market.â
âI distrusted those ten per cent investments.â
âThe deuce you did!â he said. âYou pretended you did, so you could claw at me if they went to pieces, but you wanted to take a chance as much as I did.â
She was silent for a moment as if considering, then:
âAnthony,â she cried suddenly, âtwo hundred a month is worse than nothing. Letâs sell all the bonds and put the thirty thousand dollars in the bankâand if we lose the case we can live in Italy for three years, and then just die.â In her excitement as she talked she was aware of a faint flush of sentiment, the first she had felt in many days.
âThree years,â he said nervously, âthree years! Youâre crazy. Mr. Haightâll take more than that if we lose. Do you think heâs working for charity?â
âI forgot that.â
ââAnd here it is Saturday,â he continued, âand Iâve only got a dollar and some change, and weâve got to live till Monday, when I can get to my brokerâsâŠ. And not a drink in the house,â he added as a significant afterthought.
âCanât you call up Dick?â
âI did. His man says heâs gone down to Princeton to address a literary club or some such thing. Wonât be back till Monday.â
âWell, letâs seeâDonât you know some friend you might go to?â
âI tried a couple of fellows. Couldnât find anybody in. I wish Iâd sold that Keats letter like I started to last week.â
âHow about those men you play cards with in that Sammy place?â
âDo you think Iâd ask them?â His voice rang with righteous horror. Gloria winced. He would rather contemplate her active discomfort than feel his own skin crawl at asking an inappropriate favor. âI thought of Muriel,â he suggested.
âSheâs in California.â
âWell, how about some of those men who gave you such a good time while I was in the army? Youâd think they might be glad to do a little favor for you.â
She looked at him contemptuously, but he took no notice.
âOr how about your old friend Rachaelâor Constance Merriam?â
âConstance Merriamâs been dead a year, and I wouldnât ask Rachael.â
âWell, how about that gentleman who was so anxious to help you once that he could hardly restrain himself, Bloeckman?â
âOhâ!â He had hurt her at last, and he was not too obtuse or too careless to perceive it.
âWhy not him?â he insisted callously.
âBecauseâhe doesnât like me any more,â she said with difficulty, and then as he did not answer but only regarded her cynically: âIf you want to know why, Iâll tell you. A year ago I went to Bloeckmanâheâs changed his name to Blackâand asked him to put me into pictures.â
âYou went to Bloeckman?â
âYes.â
âWhy didnât you tell me?â he demanded incredulously, the smile fading from his face.
âBecause you were probably off drinking somewhere. He had them give me a test, and they decided that I wasnât young enough for anything except a character part.â
âA character part?â
âThe âwoman of thirtyâ sort of thing. I wasnât thirty, and I didnât think Iâlooked thirty.â
âWhy, damn him!â cried Anthony, championing her violently with a curious perverseness of emotion, âwhyââ
âWell, thatâs why I canât go to him.â
âWhy, the insolence!â insisted Anthony nervously, âthe insolence!â
âAnthony, that doesnât matter now; the thing is weâve got to live over Sunday and thereâs nothing in the house but a loaf of bread and a half-pound of bacon and two eggs for breakfast.â She handed him the contents of her purse. âThereâs seventy, eighty, a dollar fifteen. With what you have that makes about two and a half altogether, doesnât it? Anthony, we can get along on that. We can buy lots of food with thatâmore than we can possibly eat.â
Jingling the change in his hand he shook his head. âNo. Iâve got to have a drink. Iâm so darn nervous that Iâm shivering.â A thought struck him. âPerhaps Sammyâd cash a check. And then Monday I could rush down to the bank with the money.â âBut theyâve closed your account.â
âThatâs right, thatâs rightâIâd forgotten. Iâll tell you what: Iâll go down to Sammyâs and Iâll find somebody there whoâll lend me something. I hate like the devil to ask them, thoughâŠ.â He snapped his fingers suddenly. âI know what Iâll do. Iâll hock my watch. I can get twenty dollars on it, and get it back Monday for sixty cents extra. Itâs been hocked beforeâwhen I was at Cambridge.â
He had put on his overcoat, and with a brief good-by he started down the hall toward the outer door.
Gloria got to her feet. It had suddenly occurred to her where he would probably go first.
âAnthony!â she called after him, âhadnât you better leave two dollars with me? Youâll only need car-fare.â
The outer door slammedâhe had pretended not to hear her. She stood for a moment looking after him; then she went into the bathroom among her tragic unguents and began preparations for washing her hair.
Down at Sammyâs he found Parker Allison and Pete Lytell sitting alone at a table, drinking whiskey sours. It was just after six oâclock, and Sammy, or Samuele Bendiri, as he had been christened, was sweeping an accumulation of cigarette butts and broken glass into a corner.
âHi, Tony!â called Parker Allison to Anthony. Sometimes he addressed him as Tony, at other times it was Dan. To him all Anthonys must sail under one of these diminutives.
âSit down. Whatâll you have?â
On the subway Anthony had counted his money and found that he had almost four dollars. He could pay for two rounds at fifty cents a drinkâwhich meant that he would have six drinks. Then he would go over to Sixth Avenue and get twenty dollars and a pawn ticket in exchange for his watch.
âWell, roughnecks,â he said jovially, âhowâs the life of crime?â
âPretty good,â said Allison. He winked at Pete Lytell. âToo bad youâre a married man. Weâve got some pretty good stuff lined up for about eleven oâclock, when the shows let out. Oh, boy! Yes, sirâtoo bad heâs marriedâisnât it, Pete?â
ââSa shame.â
At half past seven, when they had completed the six rounds, Anthony found that his intentions were giving audience to his desires. He was happy and cheerful nowâthoroughly enjoying himself. It seemed to him that the story which Pete had just finished telling was unusually and profoundly humorousâand he decided, as he did every day at about this point, that they were âdamn good fellows, by golly!â who would do a lot more for him than any one else he knew. The pawnshops would remain open until late Saturday nights, and he felt that if he took just one more drink he would attain a gorgeous rose-colored exhilaration.
Artfully, he fished in his vest pockets, brought up his two quarters, and stared at them as though in surprise.
âWell, Iâll be darned,â he protested in an aggrieved tone, âhere Iâve come out without my pocketbook.â
âNeed some cash?â asked Lytell easily.
âI left my money on the dresser at home. And I wanted to buy you another drink.â
âOhâknock it.â Lytell waved the suggestion away disparagingly. âI guess we can blow a good fella to all the drinks he wants. Whatâll you haveâsame?â
âI tell you,â suggested Parker Allison, âsuppose we send Sammy across the street for some sandwiches and eat dinner here.â
The other two agreed.
âGood idea.â
âHey, Sammy, wantcha do somepâm for usâŠ.â
Just after nine oâclock Anthony staggered to his feet and, bidding them a thick good night, walked unsteadily to the door, handing Sammy one of his two quarters as he passed out. Once in the street he hesitated uncertainly and then started in the direction of Sixth Avenue, where he remembered to have frequently passed several loan offices. He went by a news-stand and two drug-storesâand then he realized that he was standing in front of the place which he sought, and that it was shut and barred. Unperturbed he continued; another one, half a block down, was also closedâso were two more across the street, and a fifth in the square below. Seeing a faint light in the last one, he began to knock on the glass door; he desisted only when a watchman appeared in the back of the shop and motioned him angrily to move on. With growing discouragement, with growing befuddlement, he crossed the street and walked back toward Forty-third. On the corner near Sammyâs he paused undecidedâif he went back to the apartment, as he felt his body required, he would lay himself open to bitter reproach; yet, now that the pawnshops were closed, he had no notion where to get the money. He decided finally that he might ask Parker Allison, after allâbut he approached Sammyâs only to find the door locked and the lights out. He looked at his watch; nine-thirty. He began walking.
Ten minutes later he stopped aimlessly at the corner of Forty-third Street and Madison Avenue, diagonally across from the bright but nearly deserted entrance to the Biltmore Hotel. Here he stood for a moment, and then sat down heavily on a damp board amid some debris of construction work. He rested there for almost half an hour, his mind a shifting pattern of surface thoughts, chiefest among which were that he must obtain some money and get home before he became too sodden to find his way.
Then, glancing over toward the Biltmore, he saw a man standing directly under the overhead glow of the porte-cochïżœre lamps beside a woman in an ermine coat. As Anthony watched, the couple moved forward and signalled to a taxi. Anthony perceived by the infallible identification that lurks in the walk of a friend that it was Maury Noble.
He rose to his feet.
âMaury!â he shouted.
Maury looked in his direction, then turned back to the girl just as the taxi came up into place. With the chaotic idea of borrowing ten dollars, Anthony began to run as fast as he could across Madison Avenue and along Forty-third Street.
As he came up Maury was standing beside the yawning door of the taxicab. His companion turned and looked curiously at Anthony.
âHello, Maury!â he said, holding out his hand. âHow are you?â
âFine, thank you.â
Their hands dropped and Anthony hesitated. Maury made no move to introduce him, but only stood there regarding him with an inscrutable feline silence.
âI wanted
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