Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (book club recommendations TXT) đ
- Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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âWeâll talk to-morrow; go to bed at once!â Razumihin said in conclusion, following Zossimov out. âIâll be with you to-morrow morning as early as possible with my report.â
âThatâs a fetching little girl, Avdotya Romanovna,â remarked Zossimov, almost licking his lips as they both came out into the street.
âFetching? You said fetching?â roared Razumihin and he flew at Zossimov and seized him by the throat. âIf you ever dare.... Do you understand? Do you understand?â he shouted, shaking him by the collar and squeezing him against the wall. âDo you hear?â
âLet me go, you drunken devil,â said Zossimov, struggling and when he had let him go, he stared at him and went off into a sudden guffaw. Razumihin stood facing him in gloomy and earnest reflection.
âOf course, I am an ass,â he observed, sombre as a storm cloud, âbut still... you are another.â
âNo, brother, not at all such another. I am not dreaming of any folly.â
They walked along in silence and only when they were close to Raskolnikovâs lodgings, Razumihin broke the silence in considerable anxiety.
âListen,â he said, âyouâre a first-rate fellow, but among your other failings, youâre a loose fish, that I know, and a dirty one, too. You are a feeble, nervous wretch, and a mass of whims, youâre getting fat and lazy and canât deny yourself anythingâand I call that dirty because it leads one straight into the dirt. Youâve let yourself get so slack that I donât know how it is you are still a good, even a devoted doctor. Youâa doctorâsleep on a feather bed and get up at night to your patients! In another three or four years you wonât get up for your patients... But hang it all, thatâs not the point!... You are going to spend to-night in the landladyâs flat here. (Hard work Iâve had to persuade her!) And Iâll be in the kitchen. So hereâs a chance for you to get to know her better.... Itâs not as you think! Thereâs not a trace of anything of the sort, brother...!â
âBut I donât think!â
âHere you have modesty, brother, silence, bashfulness, a savage virtue... and yet sheâs sighing and melting like wax, simply melting! Save me from her, by all thatâs unholy! Sheâs most prepossessing... Iâll repay you, Iâll do anything....â
Zossimov laughed more violently than ever.
âWell, you are smitten! But what am I to do with her?â
âIt wonât be much trouble, I assure you. Talk any rot you like to her, as long as you sit by her and talk. Youâre a doctor, too; try curing her of something. I swear you wonât regret it. She has a piano, and you know, I strum a little. I have a song there, a genuine Russian one: âI shed hot tears.â She likes the genuine articleâand well, it all began with that song; Now youâre a regular performer, a maĂźtre, a Rubinstein.... I assure you, you wonât regret it!â
âBut have you made her some promise? Something signed? A promise of marriage, perhaps?â
âNothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of the kind! Besides she is not that sort at all.... Tchebarov tried that....â
âWell then, drop her!â
âBut I canât drop her like that!â
âWhy canât you?â
âWell, I canât, thatâs all about it! Thereâs an element of attraction here, brother.â
âThen why have you fascinated her?â
âI havenât fascinated her; perhaps I was fascinated myself in my folly. But she wonât care a straw whether itâs you or I, so long as somebody sits beside her, sighing.... I canât explain the position, brother... look here, you are good at mathematics, and working at it now... begin teaching her the integral calculus; upon my soul, Iâm not joking, Iâm in earnest, itâll be just the same to her. She will gaze at you and sigh for a whole year together. I talked to her once for two days at a time about the Prussian House of Lords (for one must talk of something)âshe just sighed and perspired! And you mustnât talk of loveâsheâs bashful to hystericsâbut just let her see you canât tear yourself awayâthatâs enough. Itâs fearfully comfortable; youâre quite at home, you can read, sit, lie about, write. You may even venture on a kiss, if youâre careful.â
âBut what do I want with her?â
âAch, I canât make you understand! You see, you are made for each other! I have often been reminded of you!... Youâll come to it in the end! So does it matter whether itâs sooner or later? Thereâs the feather-bed element here, brotherâach! and not only that! Thereâs an attraction hereâhere you have the end of the world, an anchorage, a quiet haven, the navel of the earth, the three fishes that are the foundation of the world, the essence of pancakes, of savoury fish-pies, of the evening samovar, of soft sighs and warm shawls, and hot stoves to sleep onâas snug as though you were dead, and yet youâre aliveâthe advantages of both at once! Well, hang it, brother, what stuff Iâm talking, itâs bedtime! Listen. I sometimes wake up at night; so Iâll go in and look at him. But thereâs no need, itâs all right. Donât you worry yourself, yet if you like, you might just look in once, too. But if you notice anythingâdelirium or feverâwake me at once. But there canât be....â
Razumihin waked up next morning at eight oâclock, troubled and serious. He found himself confronted with many new and unlooked-for perplexities. He had never expected that he would ever wake up feeling like that. He remembered every detail
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