F**k Yeah! by Al Calm (english readers TXT) 📖

Yeah, it'sa tune I been digging on the quiet. Loving Serum's Open Your Eyes at the moment! Really into a lot of that vibe, all of Ruffneck Ting and Potential Badboy stuff.

Just loving the whole vibe, real peaceful no aggro. I should chill out more with this dude called Custard Cream who digs all that. I ain't got a clue what his real name might be, but fuck it, we been getting on it long enough to know we just want real peaceful vibes. Who wants aggro when you think you're on another planet? Really digging some of the newish older dudes coming through, like Cabbie. Need to slip on some greats too. Thinking of putting some Morillo and Coxy on the old player. God made me funky alright!

House parties get me thinking to back in the day when I was thirteen or fourteen, poncing fags, drinks, usually a massive bottle of White Lightning. Get in a eighth and think I'mKing of The Fucking World. Drop a couple of pills, downed with cheap vodka and shitty cider, getting trashed in the park, those were the fucking days. Then try to catch some of the older kids coming back from the clubs, one dude called Wez would always sort me out with his sweaty soft pills and shitloads of sweaty trips. He sometimes shared a toot with me, his snort wasn'tbad, but that was well rare. Probably knew we didn'thave the cash for his snort!

Yeah, Wez'spills were always soft and slightly crushed, they would do random shit to you, but sometimes I thought they crumbled quick as he'dprobably just pressed them and they were crumbling as he bopped with them. They would be powder by the time you got home, so you could snort them. Love crowning dingers! The real joke had to be his trips, though. OH ME DAYS! We always called them tiny terror trips, fucking well funny. I'mcracking up just thinking about it. Yeah, his trips were funny as fuck. Wez must have always kept them near his arse.

I always think of them near his sweaty, shitty, butt in the club and he'sknocking them out to us kids later, thinking what the fuck they going to do? Always the way, we were just pleased to score!

We would drop them and fuck all would happen for hours then all of a sudden you'dhave a proper violent trip, like real intense. Then you'dbe feeling fine. Like really fine. You'dthink hours would've gone by, but it probably wasn'teven an hour. Fucking Granny trips! Can'treally moan for a fifty pee, usually a quid, rarely quid fifty or whatever it might be, can you? We'dget loads of them too. Proper messy! They still fuck me up sometimes. I done so much shit, anything can fuck me up!

But, the way I see it now, living for the moment and all, I'm just lucky to have a bit of MDMA left. It's getting back to the good times, for sure. I'm real hungry, but I can't eat shit. Me mouth goes all funny, like all cotton wool furry. I've chewed me gums to shit, just tasting cottonmouth and blood. I swallowed me chewing gum again, too, as it started to dissolve in me gob. Me teeth are already fucked so fuck them. What I don't get was the urge to try eating, I can't put it off for much longer. I'll be shitting water soon.

I wake up and think that I know I'm a proper empty son of a bitch. Shallow as fuck, I want to be a fucking DJ! And a Class A fuckhead. Something's got to give. I can face up to it and be honest about it. I don't give a shit what people think. Everyone hates me in a weird way, but I ain't a real junkie kind of junkie. I know I'm mental and I piss of the birds I get real close with. Don't ask why, they're mug enough to get knocked up by me, fucking they know the score! It's all cool when we're banging and having it out, but I do a shitload of drugs, so it gets to the point they suddenly want cosy nights in watching shitty reality TV. Only bang on coke- heads can put up with that shit, they'll chat shit to kingdom come as well. Fuck that, life's too short pissing it away on some dull TV show or shitty remake flick. I'm trying to be a DJ, I got to be out and about, but it's tricky. I should try to get a bit more musical like.

I'm obviously never going to be no Guy Called Gerald or Carl Cox. Those kind of DJs are in a league of their own. You got to get the chance to blast some club, go for it, have it out and really enjoy it. As when you're old, when you're getting on this fucking shit country, this battered old war economy will treat you like total shit. Spits you right out, don't it? I even gave some weird looking teenager here a few soft pills. If I was a tight ass I would have them all for me, but I can dig spreading the love. Only fucking pills! Pure love man! Some pills are a bit hit and miss, too. Well for me, I'm an old hand at all that now. Yeah, no shit. I was about twelve when I started really getting into puff and pills. I even done a shitload of trips when I was thirteen or so.

Yeah, trips and shrooms, then a lot of beans and ganja. Poofs love their pills, too. I ain't no homo lover but I dig the gay club vibe, I dig the way they don't give a shit and know how to have it out. I've blasted enough gay nights to be cool with it. When I was younger I was a dick, but didn't clock poofs love pills and powders too, yeah you know it! No joke, I always had some bangers going off on gay night! They love crystal meth too, they can fucking party!

 

Anyway, I give this geeky-teen some pills. I don't know if it's Bungle's bird's kid, fuck I can't remember any names. Bumfluff Kid looks amazed; looking younger by the second, bits of blondish bumfluff on his chin, long frizzed punky-hipster hair, looks real young now. Tight jeans and pumps. Only poofs used to be able to get away rocking with that look, but all blokes wear it now. Even the tough blokes with chains and pecs on show.

Bumfluff Kid kinda looks at me all real serious and says, Thanks for that, mate! Yeah, fucking heavy! Dark, real sick! I laugh, light up another joint. Fucking lingo, trust - even some of these little white kids chat like they're suppose to be Yardies, but they all sound like they're monged on Ritalin!

 

Chuff me joint a bit more, need to think. Tasty fucking smoke. Fucking wicked weed, really zoning me out, I'll be a zombie in a bit. I can be a right moody cunt some days, but the weed and hash cookies help, though I'm getting jumpy. I had to hide them, everyone turns into a kid when they know you got some funky cookies and space cake. Just the fun vibe, it can be the sweetest buzz, but you never know where you are with it and it can catch you out if you cane loads of bugle or MD. I almost turned into a statue after having it out to Ed Rush and Optical time ago. Think I lost me hearing when they dropped Hammerhead.

 

It’s different if you're on skag or crack, you're a fucking nutter anyway, but crystal meth's the best, personally speaking. I mean skag just makes me puke, I ain't saying it ain't proper heavy but chuffing it all the time makes me feel funny. I ain't shooting it, fuck it. I fucking hate needles anyway. I know how dirty junkies get, fuck all that. I don’t dig to get too close to some of them, fucking no sense of shame, no fucking idea of personal hygiene either. Wiping the needle won't do any good. Yeah, thank fuck for a needle fear too, I really fucking hate needles, one of me things I hate, like a proper head-fuck phobia kind of vibe. If you mix and match your gear then you're always on a tightrope and you just go easy on the alcohol. Booze always fucks up best plans, catches you proper off guard, don’t it?

 

Yeah, I'm grooving now. How the fuck am I going to ponce more shit for tonight? I'll think about it later. Definitely be going off at the afterparty! I'm just going to pick up a random bird to fuck, take shitloads more funky shit, whatever I can get me hands on. Maybe I'll get another psychobitch. I don't mind, it's something to do innit. Nobody really likes being alone. And wanking can get dull, right? Unless you get a helping hand!

My only real work is to go to the dole office and pretend I've been looking for work. I been on it for years, I'm appealing my disability thing though I don't see the point of me doing the Work programme waste of time. They'll soon figure out where I'm coming from, I can take the benefits or not, it don't bother me, there's a whole world to ponce off. I don't know it all, though. The benefit game's well complicated now, too much hassle, shitloads of annoying forms, so I got a old school mate called Don to fill it all out, as he's conning the lot. Fucking smart fucker for a dude with ADHD. He's a funny bloke, just one too many mornings off his face on acid, though.

 

I had a bad acid spell. Like five years ago, so it's not like back in the day to all the Class of 88 dudes. I got some morals, I didn't break the stash out for the kid, did I? Shit, I keep the crazy shit for me! And I think Bungle Bob might be a bit pissed off with me if I sorted one of his step-kids acid. He's a bit touchy about random people fucking up, I think he's been around a lot of people who've really lost it. I don’t blame him, I been one of those people to suddenly lose it too. But I haven’t seen a headfucker for years. Fuck it, I got inspired by street chemistry.

 

Yeah, these mentalists always drink a lot too, just to balance it up. Isn't always the Class A shit, always the other, usually legal, extras what can proper fuck you up. Shit like cider! Cider's rough and proper mental, I don’t drink it at all now. Used to score some real rough granny trips when I was thirteen and down a couple of big bottles of cider for kicks. Then spend the whole of the next day puking up. Ain’t probably no wiser, I just don’t always like puking but some things are better out than in! Keep puking, keep on getting high.

 

What I got to do today: I don’t really remember shit too well, so I’m getting it all down. After chilling at a mate's place, having a puff out of the window, pumping some tunes. Loving the Call the Cops remix and that Happiness tune. It's a weird thing, they say music tames the soul. It ends up wiping all me bad vibes away. Wish I had more kit than a knackered Bontempi organ when I was just a kid. All the free shit you got now, but time changes so quick. Still gotta be rich with the whole software thing too. I clocked that more people chill around here, got a little gathering going down. No girls yet. Got to go out later, have a likkle night bus cruise, check the places open late.

 

It's still cheap to blast