The Adventures of Roderick Random by T. Smollett (books to read romance txt) 📖

I become acquainted with Narcissa’s brother, who invites me to his House, where I am introduced to that adorable Creature—after dinner, the Squire retires to take his nap—Freeman, guessing the Situation of my Thought, withdraws likewise, on pretence of Business—I declare my passion for Narcissa—am well-received—charmed with her Conversation—the Squire detains us to Supper—I elude his design by a Stratagem, and get home sober

In the afternoon, I drank tea at the house of Mr. Freeman, to whom I had been recommended by Banter; where I had not sat five minutes, till the foxhunter came in, and by his familiar behaviour appeared to be intimate with my friend. I was, at first, under some concern, lest he should recollect my features; but when I found myself introduced to him as a gentleman from London, without being discovered, I blessed the opportunity that brought me into his company; hoping that, in the course of my acquaintance, he would invite me to his house; nor were my hopes frustrated, for, as we spent the evening together, he grew extremely fond of my conversation, asked a great many childish questions about France and foreign parts; and seemed so highly entertained with my answers, that in his cups he shook me often by the hand, pronounced me an honest fellow, and in fine desired our company at dinner next day, at his civil house. My imagination was so much employed in anticipating the happiness I was to enjoy next day, that I slept very little that night; but, rising early in the morning, went to the place appointed, where I met my she-friend, and imparted to her my success with the squire. She was very much pleased at the occasion, “which,” she said, “could not fail of being agreeable to Narcissa, who, in spite of her passion for me, had mentioned some scruples relating to my true situation and character, which the delicacy of her sentiments suggested, and which she believed I would find it necessary to remove, though she did not know how.” I was a good deal startled at this insinuation, because I foresaw the difficulty I should find in barely doing myself justice: for, although it never was my intention to impose myself upon any woman, much less on Narcissa, I laid claim to the character of a gentleman by birth, education, and behaviour; and yet (so unlucky had the circumstances of my life fallen out) I should find it a very hard matter to make good my pretensions even to these, especially to the last, which was the most essential. Miss Williams was as sensible as I of this my disadvantage, but comforted me with observing that, when once a woman has bestowed her affections on a man, she cannot help judging of him in all respects with a partiality easily influenced in his favour: she remarked that, although some situations of my life had been low, yet none of them had been infamous; that my indigence had been the crime not of me, but of fortune; and that the miseries I had undergone, by improving the faculties both of mind and body, qualified me the more for any dignified station; and would of consequence recommend me to the good graces of any sensible woman: she therefore advised me to be always open and unreserved to the inquiries of my mistress, without unnecessarily betraying the meanest occurrences of my fate; and trust to the strength of her love and reflection for the rest.

The sentiments of this sensible young woman on this, as well as on almost every other subject, perfectly agreed with mine. I thanked her for the care she took of my interests, and, promising to behave myself according to her directions we parted, after she had assured me that I depend upon her best offices with her mistress, and that she would from time to time communicate to me such intelligence as she could procure, relating to my flame. Having dressed myself to the best advantage, I waited for the time of dinner with the most fearful impatience; and, as the hour drew near, my heart beat with such increased velocity, and my spirits contracted such disorder, that I began to suspect my resolution, and even to wish myself disengaged. At last Mr. Freeman called at my lodgings in his way, and I accompanied him to the house where all my happiness was deposited. We were very kindly received by the squire, who sat smoking his pipe in a parlour, and asked if we chose to drink any thing before dinner: though I never had more occasion for a cordial, I was ashamed to accept his offer, which was also refused, by my friend. We sat down, however, entered into conversation, which lasted half-an hour, so that I had time to recollect myself; and (so capricious were my thoughts) even to hope that Narcissa would not appear—when, all of a sudden, a servant coming in, gave us notice that dinner was upon the table, and my perturbation returned with such violence that I could scarcely conceal it from the company, as I ascended the staircase. When I entered the dining-room, the first object that saluted my ravished eyes was the divine Narcissa, blushing like Aurora, adorned with all the graces that meekness, innocence, and beauty can diffuse! I was seized with a giddiness, my knees tottered and I scarce had strength enough to perform the ceremony of salutation, when her brother, slapping me on the shoulder, cried, “Measure Randan, that there is my sister.” I approached her with eagerness and fear; but in the moment of our embrace, my soul was agonized with rapture! It was a lucky circumstance for us both, that my entertainer was not endued with an uncommon stock of penetration; for our mutual confusion was so manifest that Mr. Freeman perceived it, and as we went home together, congratulated me on my good fortune. But so far was Bruin from entertaining the least suspicion, that he encouraged me to begin a conversation with my mistress in a language unknown to him, by telling her, that he had a gentleman who could jabber with her in French and other foreign lingoes as fast as she pleased; then, turning to me, said, “Odds bobs! I wish you would hold discourse with her in your French or Italian, and tell me if she understands it as well as she would be thought to do. There’s her aunt and she will chatter together whole days in it, and I can’t have a mouthful of English for love or money.” I consulted the look of my amiable mistress and found her averse to his proposal, which indeed she declined with a sweetness of denial peculiar to herself, as a piece of disrespect to that part of the company which did not understand the language in question. As I had the happiness of sitting opposite to her, I feasted my eyes much more than my palate which she tempted in vain with the most delicious bits carved by her fair hand, and recommended by her persuasive tongue; but all my other appetites were swallowed up in immensity of my love, which I fed by gazing incessantly on the delightful object. Dinner was scarcely ended, when the squire became very drowsy, and after several dreadful yawns, got up, stretched himself, took two or three turns across the room, begged we would allow him to take a short nap, and, having laid a strong injunction on his sister to detain us till his return, went to his repose without further ceremony. He had not been gone many minutes, when Freeman, guessing the situation of my heart, and thinking he could not do me a greater favour than to leave me alone with Narcissa, pretended to recollect himself all of a sudden, and, starting up, begged the lady pardon for half-an-hour, for he had unluckily remembered an engagement of some consequence, that he must perform at that instant: so saying, he took his leave, promising to come back time enough for tea, leaving my mistress and me in great confusion.

Now that I enjoyed an opportunity of disclosing the paintings of my soul, I had not the power to use it. I studied many pathetic declarations, but, when I attempted to give them utterance, my tongue denied its office and she sat silent with a downcast look full of anxious alarm, her bosom heaving with expectation of some great event. At length I endeavoured to put an end to this solemn pause, and began with, “It is very surprising, madam, madam”—here the sound dying away, I made a full stop; while Narcissa, starting, blushed, and, with a timid accent answered, “Sir?” Confounded at this note of interrogation, I pronounced with the most sheepish bashfulness, “Madam!” To which she replied, “I beg pardon—I thought you had spoken to me.” Another pause ensued—I made another effort, and, though my voice faltered very much at the beginning, made shift to express myself in this manner: “I say, madam, it is very surprising that love should act so inconsistently with itself, as to deprive its votaries of the use of their faculties, when they have most need of them. Since the happy occasion of being alone with you presented itself, I have made many unsuccessful attempts to declare a passion for the loveliest of her sex—a passion which took possession of my soul, while my cruel fate compelled me to wear a servile disguise so unsuitable to my birth, sentiments, and let me add, my deserts; yet favourable in one respect, as it furnished me with opportunities of seeing and adoring your perfections. Yes, madam, it was then your dear idea entered my bosom, where it has lived unimpaired in the midst of numberless cares, and animated me against a thousand dangers and calamities!”

While I spoke thus, she concealed her face with her fan, and when I ceased speaking, recovering herself from the most beautiful confusion, told me she thought herself very much obliged by my favourable opinion of her, and that she was very sorry to hear I had been unfortunate. Encouraged by this gentle reply, I proceeded, owned myself sufficiently recompensed by her kind compassion for what I had undergone, and declared the future happiness of my life depended solely upon her. “Sir,” said she, “I should be very ungrateful, if after the signal protection you once afforded me, I should refuse to contribute towards your happiness in any reasonable condescension.” Transported at this acknowledgment I threw myself at her feet, and begged she would regard my passion with a favourable eye. She was alarmed at my behaviour, entreated me to rise lest her brother should discover me in that posture, and to spare her for the present upon a subject for which she was altogether unprepared. In consequence of this remonstrance, I rose, assuring her I would rather die than disobey her: but in the meantime begged her to consider how precious the minutes of this opportunity were, and what restraint I put upon my inclinations, in sacrificing them to her desire. She smiled with unspeakable sweetness, and said there would be no want of opportunities, provided I could maintain the good opinion her brother had conceived of me, and I, enchanted by her charms, seized her hand, which I well nigh devoured with kisses. But she checked my boldness with a severity of countenance, and desired I would not so far forget myself to her, as to endanger the esteem she had for me; she reminded me of our being almost strangers to each other, and of the necessity there was for her knowing me better, before she could take any resolution in my favour; and, in short, mingled so much good sense and complacency in her reproof, that I became as much enamoured of her understanding as I had been before of her beauty, and asked pardon for my presumption with the utmost reverence of conviction. She forgave my offence with her usual affability,