The Lesser Bourgeoisie by Honoré de Balzac (tools of titans ebook .txt) 📖

is, in truth, a sublime, a dazzling discovery. He is only twenty-five years old, but his name, from henceforth, is immortal."

"And this is the man," said Madame Phellion, half beside herself, and kissing Felix with effusion, "to whom that la Peyrade is preferred!"

"No, not preferred, madame," said Minard, "for the Thuilliers are not the dupes of that adventurer. But he has made himself necessary to them. Thuillier fancies that without la Peyrade he could not be elected; the election is still doubtful, and they are sacrificing everything to it."

"But isn't it odious," cried Madame Phellion, "to consider such interests before the happiness of their child!"

"Ah!" said Minard, "but Celeste is not their child, only their adopted daughter."

"Brigitte's, if you like," said Madame Phellion; "but as for Thuillier--"

"My good wife," said Phellion, "no censoriousness. The good God has just sent us a great consolation; and, indeed, though certainly far advanced, this marriage, about which I regret to say Felix does not behave with all the philosophy I could desire, may still not take place."

Seeing that Felix shook his head with a look of incredulity, Minard hastened to say:--

"Yes, yes, the commander is quite right. Last night there was a hitch about signing the contract, and it was not signed. You were not there, by the bye, and your absence was much remarked upon."

"We were invited," said Phellion, "and up to the last moment we hesitated whether to go or not. But, as you will readily see, our position was a false one; besides, Felix--and I see now it must have been in consequence of his lecture at the Academy--was completely worn out with fatigue and emotion. To present ourselves without him would have seemed very singular; therefore we decided that it would be wisest and best to absent ourselves."

The presence of the man whom he had just declared immortal did not deter Minard, when the occasion was thus made for him, from plunging eagerly into one of the most precious joys of bourgeois existence, namely, the retailing of gossip.

"Just imagine!" he began; "last night at the Thuilliers' the most extraordinary things took place, one after another."

First he related the curious episode of pere Picot. Then he told of the hearty approbation given to Felix's conduct by the Abbe Gondrin, and the desire the young preacher had expressed to meet him.

"I'll go and see him," said Felix; "do you know where he lives?"

"Rue de la Madeleine, No. 8," replied Minard. "But the great event of the evening was the spectacle of that fine company assembled to listen to the marriage-contract, and waiting in expectation a whole hour for the notary, who--never came!"

"Then the contract is not signed?" said Felix, eagerly.

"Not even read, my friend. Suddenly some one came in and told Brigitte that the notary had started for Brussels."

"Ah! no doubt," said Phellion, naively; "some very important business."

"Most important," replied Minard; "a little bankruptcy of five hundred thousand francs which the gentleman leaves behind him."

"But who is this public officer," demanded Phellion, "so recreant, in this scandalous manner, to the sacred duties of his calling?"

"Parbleu! your neighbor in the rue Saint-Jacques, the notary Dupuis."

"What!" said Madame Phellion, "that pious man? Why, he is churchwarden of the parish!"

"Eh! madame, those are the very ones," said Minard, "to run off--there are many precedents for that."

"But," said Phellion, "such news cast suddenly among the company must have fallen like a thunderbolt."

"Especially," said Minard, "as it was brought in the most unexpected and singular manner."

"Tell us all about it," said Madame Phellion, with animation.

"Well, it seems," continued Minard, "that this canting swindler had charge of the savings of a number of servants, and that Monsieur de la Peyrade--because, you see, they are all of a clique, these pious people--was in the habit of recruiting clients for him in that walk of life--"

"I always said so!" interrupted Madame Phellion. "I knew that Provencal was no good at all."

"It seems," continued the mayor, "that he had placed in Dupuis's hands all the savings of an old housekeeper, pious herself, amounting to a pretty little sum. Faith! I think myself it was worth some trouble. How much do you suppose it was? Twenty-five thousand francs, if you please! This housekeeper, whose name is Madame Lambert--"

"Madame Lambert!" cried Felix; "why, that's Monsieur Picot's housekeeper; close cap, pale, thin face, speaks always with her eyes lowered, shows no hair?"

"That's she," said Minard,--"a regular hypocrite!"

"Twenty-five thousand francs of savings!" said Felix. "I don't wonder that poor pere Picot is always out of money."

"And that someone had to meddle with the sale of his book," said Minard, slyly. "However that may be, you can imagine that the woman was in a fine state of mind on hearing of the flight of the notary. Off she went to la Peyrade's lodgings; there she was told he was dining at the Thuilliers'; to the Thuilliers' she came, after running about the streets--for they didn't give her quite the right address--till ten o'clock; but she got there while the company were still sitting round waiting for the notary, and gaping at each other, no one knowing what to say and do, for neither Brigitte nor Thuillier have faculty enough to get out of such a scrape with credit; and we all missed the voice of Madame de Godollo and the talent of Madame Phellion."

"Oh! you are too polite, Monsieur le maire," said Madame Phellion, bridling.

"Well, as I said," continued Minard, "at ten o'clock Madame Lambert reached the antechamber of Monsieur the general-councillor, and there she asked, in great excitement, to see la Peyrade."

"That was natural," said Phellion; "he being the intermediary of the investment, this woman had a right to question him."

"You should just have seen that Tartuffe!" continued Minard. "He had no sooner gone out than he returned, bringing the news. As everybody was longing to get away, there followed a general helter-skelter. And then what does our man do? He goes back to Madame Lambert, who was crying that she was ruined! she was lost!--which might very well be true, but it might also be only a scene arranged between them in presence of the company, whom the woman's outcries detained in the antechamber. 'Don't be anxious, my good woman,' said la Peyrade; 'the investment was made at your request, consequently, I owe you nothing; BUT it is enough that the money passed through my hands to make my conscience tell me I am responsible. If the notary's assets are not enough to pay you I will do so.'"

"Yes," said Phellion, "that was my idea as you told it; the intermediary is or ought to be responsible. I should not have hesitated to do as Monsieur de la Peyrade did, and I do not think that after such conduct as that he ought to be taxed with Jesuitism."

"Yes, you would have done so," said Minard, "and so should I, but we shouldn't have done it with a brass band; we should have paid our money quietly, like gentlemen. But this electoral manager, how is he going to pay it? Out of the 'dot'?"

At this moment the little page entered the room and gave a letter to Felix Phellion. It came from pere Picot, and was written at his dictation by Madame Lambert, for which reason we will not reproduce the orthography. The writing of Madame Lambert was of those that can never be forgotten when once seen. Recognizing it instantly, Felix hastened to say:--

"A letter from the professor"; then, before breaking the seal, he added, "Will you permit me, Monsieur le maire."

"He'll rate you finely," said Minard, laughing. "I never saw anything so comical as his wrath last night."

Felix, as he read the letter, smiled to himself. When he had finished it, he passed it to his father, saying:--

"Read it aloud if you like."

Whereupon, with his solemn voice and manner, Phellion read as follows:--

My dear Felix,--I have just received your note; it came in the
nick of time, for I was, as they say, in a fury with you. You tell
me that you were guilty of that abuse of confidence (about which I
intended to write you a piece of my mind) in order to give a
knock-down blow to my relations by proving that a man capable of
making such complicated calculations as your discovery required
was not a man to put in a lunatic asylum or drag before a
judiciary council. That argument pleases me, and it makes such a
good answer to the infamous proceedings of my relations that I
praise you for having had the idea. But you sold it to me, that
argument, pretty dear when you put me in company with a star, for
you know very well _that_ propinquity wouldn't please me at all. It
is not at my age, and after solving the great problem of perpetual
motion, that a man could take up with such rubbish as that,--good
only for boys and greenhorns like you; and that is what I have
taken the liberty this morning to go and tell the minister of
public instruction, by whom I must say I was received with the
most perfect urbanity. I asked him to see whether, as he had made
a mistake and sent them to the wrong address, he could not take
back his cross and his pension,--though to be sure, as I told him,
I deserved them for other things.

"The government," he replied, "is not in the habit of making
mistakes; what it does is always properly done, and it never
annuls an ordinance signed by the hand of his Majesty. Your great
labors have deserved the two favors the King has granted you; it
is a long-standing debt, which I am happy to pay off in his name."

"But Felix?" I said; "because after all for a young man it is not
such a bad discovery."

"Monsieur Felix Phellion," replied the minister, "will receive in
the course of the day his appointment to the rank of Chevalier of
the Legion of honor; I will have it signed this morning by the
king. Moreover, there is a vacant place at the Academy of
Sciences, and if you are not a candidate for it--"

"I, in the Academy!" I interrupted, with the frankness of speech
you know I always use; "I execrate academies; they are stiflers,
extinguishers, assemblages of sloths, idlers, shops with big signs
and nothing to sell inside--"

"Well, then," said the minister, smiling, "I think that at the
next election Monsieur Felix Phellion will have every chance, and
among those chances I count the influence of the government which
is secured to him."

There, my poor boy, is all that I have been able to do to reward
your good intentions and to prove to you that I am no longer
angry. I think the relations are going to pull a long face. Come
and talk about it to-day at