There & Back by George MacDonald (books you have to read TXT) 📖

done! And where I have a right, I am not one to waive it!"

Where husband and wife are not one, it is impossible for the daughter to be one with both, or perhaps with either; and the constant and foolish bickering to which Barbara had been a witness throughout her childhood, had tended rather to poison than nourish respect. Whether Barbara failed to yield as much as Mr. Wylder had a right to claim, I leave to the judgment of my reader, reserving my own, and remarking only that, if his judgment be founded on principles differing from mine, our judgments cannot agree. The idea of parent must be venerated, and may cast a glow upon the actual parent, himself nowise venerable, so that the heart of a daughter may ache with the longing to see her father such that she could love and worship him as she would; but when it comes to life and action, the will of such a parent, if it diverge from what seems to the child true and right, ought to weigh nothing. A parent is not a maker, is not God. We must leave father and mother and all for God, that is, for what is right, which is his very will-only let us be sure it is for God, and not for self. If the parent has been the parent of good thoughts and right judgments in the child, those good thoughts and right judgments will be on the parent's side: if he has been the parent of evil thoughts and false judgments, they may be for him or against him, but in the end they will work solely for division. Any general decay of filial manners must originate with the parents.

"I am not a child. I am a woman," said Barbara; "and I owe it to him who made me a woman, to take care of her."

"Mind what you say. I have rights, and will enforce them."

"Over my person?" returned Barbara, her eyes sending out a flash that reminded him of her mother, and made him the angrier.

"If you do not consent here and now," he said sternly, "to marry Mr. Lestrange-that is, if, after your mother's insolence to lady Ann.-"

"My mother's insolence to lady Ann!" exclaimed Barbara, drawing herself, in her indignation, to the height of her small person: but her father would rush to his own discomfiture.

"-if, as I say," he went on, "he should now condescend to ask you-I swear-"

"You had better not swear, papa!"

"-I swear you shall not have a foot of my land."

"Oh! that is all? There you are in your right, and I have nothing to say."

"You insolent hussy! You won't like it when you find it done!"

"It will be the same as if Mark had lived."

"It's that cursed money of your mother's makes you impudent!" "If you could leave me moneyless, papa, it would make no difference. A woman that can shoe her own horse,-"

"Shoe her own horse!" cried her father.

"Yes, papa!-You couldn't!-And I made two of her shoes the last time! Wouldn't any woman that can do that, wouldn't she-to save herself from shame and disgust-to be queen over herself-wouldn't she take a place as house-maid or shop-girl rather than marry the man she didn't love?"

Mr. Wylder saw he had gone too far.

"You know more than is good!" he said. "But don't you mistake: you're mother's money is settled on you, but your father is your trustee!"

"My father is a gentleman!" rejoined Barbara-not so near the truth as she believed.

"Take you care how you push a gentleman," rejoined her father.

"Not to love is not to marry-not if the man was a prince!" persisted Barbara.

She went to her mother's room, but said nothing of what had passed. She would not heat those ovens of wrath, the bosoms of her parents.

The next morning she ran to saddle Miss Brown. To her astonishment, her friend was not in her box, nor in any stall in the stable; neither was any one visible of whom to ask what had become of her; for the first time in her life, everybody had got out of Barbara's way. In the harness-room, however, she came upon one of the stable-boys. He was in tears. When he saw her, he started and turned to run, looking as if he had had a piece of Miss Brown for breakfast, but she stopped him.

"Where is Miss Brown?" she said.

"Don' know, miss."

"Who knows, then?"

"P'raps master, miss."

"What are you crying for?"

"Don' know, miss."

"That's not true. Boys don't cry without knowing why?"

"Well, miss, I ain't sure what I'm crying for."

"Speak out, man! Don't be foolish."

"Master give me a terrible cut, miss!"

"Did you deserve it?"

"Don' know, miss."

"You don't seem to know anything this morning!"

"No, miss!"

"What did your master give you the cut for?"

"'Cause I was cryin'."

Here he burst into a restrained howl.

"What were you crying for?"

"Because Miss Brown was gone."

"And you cried without knowing where she was gone?" said Barbara, turning almost sick with apprehension.

"Yes, miss," affirmed the miserable boy.

"Is she dead?"

"No, miss, she ain't dead; she's sold!"

The words were not yet out of his mouth when he turned and bolted.

"That's my gentleman-papa!" said Barbara to herself before she could help it. Had she been any girl but Barbara, she would have cried like the boy.

Not once from that moment did she allude to Miss Brown in the hearing of father or servant.

One day her mother asked her why she never rode, and she told her. The wrath of the mother was like that of a tigress. She sprang to her feet, and bounded to the door. But when she reached it, Barbara was between her and the handle.

"Mother! mother dear!" she pleaded.

The mother took her by the shoulders, and thought to fling her across the room. But she was not so strong as she had been, and she found the little one hard as nails: she could not move her an inch.

"Get out of my way!" she cried, "I want to kill him!"

"Mammy dear, listen! It's a month ago! I said nothing-for love-sake!"

"Love-sake! I think I hear you! Dare to tell me you love that wretch of a father of yours! I will kill you if you say you love him!"

Barbara threw her arms round her mother's neck, and said, "Listen, mammy: I do love him a little bit: but it wasn't for love of him I held my tongue."

"Bah! Your bookbinder-fellow! What has be to do with it?"

"Nothing at all. It wasn't for him either, it was for God's sake I held my peace, mammy. If all his children quarrelled like you and dad, what a house he would have! It was for God's sake I said nothing; and you know, mammy, you've made it up with God, and you mustn't go and be naughty again!"

The mother stood silent and still. It seemed for an instant as if the old fever had come back, for she shivered. She turned and went to her chair, sat down, and again was still. A minute after, her forehead flushed like a flame, turned white, then flushed and paled again several times. Then she gave a great sigh, and the conflict was over. She smiled, and from that moment she also never said a word about Miss Brown.

But in the silence of her thought, Barbara suffered, for what might not be the fate of Miss Brown! No one but a genuine lover of animals would believe how she suffered. In her mind's eye she kept seeing her turn her head with sharp-curved neck in her stall, or shoot it over the door of her box, looking and longing for her mistress, and wondering why she did not come to pat her, or feed her, or saddle her for the joyous gallop across grass and green hedge; and the heart of her mistress was sore for her. But at length one day in church, they read the psalm in which come the words, "Thou, Lord, shalt save both man and beast!" and they went to her soul. She reflected that if Miss Brown was in trouble, it might be for the saving of Miss Brown: she had herself got enough good from trouble to hope for that! For she heartily believed the animals partakers in the redemption of Jesus Christ; and she fancied perhaps they knew more about it than we think,-the poor things are so silent! Anyhow she saw that the reasonable thing was to let God look after his own; and if Miss Brown was not his, how could she be ?

But the mother was sending all over the country to find who had Miss Brown; and she had not inquired long before she learned that she was in the stables at Mortgrange. There she knew she would be well treated, and therefore told Barbara the result of her inquiries.


CHAPTER LVI.


WINGFOLD AND BARBARA .

Barbara went yet oftener to Mr. and Mrs. Wingfold. By this time, through Simon Armour, they knew something about Richard, but none of them all felt at liberty to talk about him.

Barbara had now a better guide in her reading than Richard. True reader as he had been, Wingfold's acquaintance both with literature and its history, that is, its relation to the development of the people, was as much beyond the younger man's as it ought to be. What in Barbara Richard had begun well, Wingfold was carrying on better.

With his help she was now studying, to no little advantage, more than one subject connected with the main interest common to her and Richard: and she thought constantly of what Richard would say, and how she would answer him. Hence, naturally, she had the more questions to put to her tutor. Now Wingfold had passed through all Richard's phases, and through some that were only now beginning to show in him; therefore he was well prepared to help her-although there was this difference between the early moral conditions of the two men, that Wingfold had been prejudiced in favour of much that he found it impossible to hold, whereas Richard had been prejudiced against much that ought to be cast away.

Richard suffered not a little at times from his enforced silence: what might not happen because he must not speak? But hearing nothing discouraging from his grandfather, he comforted himself in hope. He knew that in him he had a strong ally, and that Barbara loved the hot-hearted blacksmith, recognizing in him a more genuine breeding, as well as a far greater capacity, than in either sir Wilton or her father. He toiled on doing his duty, and receiving in himself the reward of the same, with further reward ever at the door. For there is no juster law than the word, "To him that hath shall be given."

"Why do I never see you on Miss Brown?" asked Wingfold one day of Barbara.

"For a reason I think I ought not to tell you."

"Then don't tell me," returned the parson.

But by a mixture of instinctive induction, and involuntary intuition, he saw into the piece of domestic tyranny, and did what he could to make