The Door in the Wall, and Other Stories by H. G. Wells (notion reading list TXT) đ
- Author: H. G. Wells
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âAnd so my moment passed.
âIt was my last chance. Even as we went to and fro there, the leaders of the south and east were gathering their resolve, and the hot answer that shattered Eveshamâs bluffing for ever, took shape and waited. And, all over Asia, and the ocean, and the South, the air and the wires were throbbing with their warnings to prepareâprepare.
âNo one living, you know, knew what war was; no one could imagine, with all these new inventions, what horror war might bring. I believe most people still believed it would be a matter of bright uniforms and shouting charges and triumphs and flags and bandsâin a time when half the world drew its food supply from regions ten thousand miles awayââ
The man with the white face paused. I glanced at him, and his face was intent on the floor of the carriage. A little railway station, a string of loaded trucks, a signal-box, and the back of a cottage, shot by the carriage window, and a bridge passed with a clap of noise, echoing the tumult of the train.
âAfter that,â he said, âI dreamt often. For three weeks of nights that dream was my life. And the worst of it was there were nights when I could not dream, when I lay tossing on a bed in this accursed life; and thereâsomewhere lost to meâthings were happeningâmomentous, terrible things . . . I lived at nightsâmy days, my waking days, this life I am living now, became a faded, far-away dream, a drab setting, the cover of the book.â
He thought.
âI could tell you all, tell you every little thing in the dream, but as to what I did in the daytimeâno. I could not tellâI do not remember. My memoryâmy memory has gone. The business of life slips from meââ
He leant forward, and pressed his hands upon his eyes. For a long time he said nothing.
âAnd then?â said I.
âThe war burst like a hurricane.â
He stared before him at unspeakable things.
âAnd then?â I urged again.
âOne touch of unreality,â he said, in the low tone of a man who speaks to himself, âand they would have been nightmares. But they were not nightmaresâthey were not nightmares. No!â
He was silent for so long that it dawned upon me that there was a danger of losing the rest of the story. But he went on talking again in the same tone of questioning self-communion.
âWhat was there to do but flight? I had not thought the war would touch CapriâI had seemed to see Capri as being out of it all, as the contrast to it all; but two nights after the whole place was shouting and bawling, every woman almost and every other man wore a badgeâEveshamâs badgeâand there was no music but a jangling war-song over and over again, and everywhere men enlisting, and in the dancing halls they were drilling. The whole island was awhirl with rumours; it was said, again and again, that fighting had begun. I had not expected this. I had seen so little of the life of pleasure that I had failed to reckon with this violence of the amateurs. And as for me, I was out of it. I was like the man who might have prevented the firing of a magazine. The time had gone. I was no one; the vainest stripling with a badge counted for more than I. The crowd jostled us and bawled in our ears; that accursed song deafened us; a woman shrieked at my lady because no badge was on her, and we two went back to our own place again, ruffled and insultedâmy lady white and silent, and I aquiver with rage. So furious was I, I could have quarrelled with her if I could have found one shade of accusation in her eyes.
âAll my magnificence had gone from me. I walked up and down our rock cell, and outside was the darkling sea and a light to the southward that flared and passed and came again.
ââWe must get out of this place,â I said over and over. âI have made my choice, and I will have no hand in these troubles. I will have nothing of this war. We have taken our lives out of all these things. This is no refuge for us. Let us go.â
âAnd the next day we were already in flight from the war that covered the world.
âAnd all the rest was Flightâall the rest was Flight.â
He mused darkly.
âHow much was there of it?â
He made no answer.
âHow many days?â
His face was white and drawn and his hands were clenched. He took no heed of my curiosity.
I tried to draw him back to his story with questions.
âWhere did you go?â I said.
âWhen?â
âWhen you left Capri.â
âSouth-west,â he said, and glanced at me for a second. âWe went in a boat.â
âBut I should have thought an aeroplane?â
âThey had been seized.â
I questioned him no more. Presently I thought he was beginning again. He broke out in an argumentative monotone:
âBut why should it be? If, indeed, this battle, this slaughter and stress is life, why have we this craving for pleasure and beauty? If there is no refuge, if there is no place of peace, and if all our dreams of quiet places are a folly and a snare, why have we such dreams? Surely it was no ignoble cravings, no base intentions, had brought us to this; it was Love had isolated us. Love had come to me with her eyes and robed in her beauty, more glorious than all else in life, in the very shape and colour of life, and summoned me away. I had silenced all the voices, I had answered all the questionsâI had come to her. And suddenly there was nothing but War and Death!â
I had an inspiration. âAfter all,â I said, âit could have been only a dream.â
âA dream!â he cried, flaming upon me, âa dreamâwhen, even nowââ
For the first time he became animated. A faint flush crept into his cheek. He raised his open hand and clenched it, and dropped it to his knee. He spoke, looking away from me, and for all the rest of the time he looked away. âWe are but phantoms!â he said, âand the phantoms of phantoms, desires like cloud-shadows and wills of straw that eddy in the wind; the days pass, use and wont carry us through as a train carries the shadow of its lightsâso be it! But one thing is real and certain, one thing is no dream-stuff, but eternal and enduring. It is the centre of my life, and all other things about it are subordinate or altogether vain. I loved her, that woman of a dream. And she and I are dead together!
âA dream! How can it be a dream, when it drenched a living life with unappeasable sorrow, when it makes all that I have lived for and cared for, worthless and unmeaning?
âUntil that very moment when she was killed I believed we had still a chance of getting away,â he said. âAll through the night and morning that we sailed across the sea from Capri to Salerno, we talked of escape. We were full of hope, and it clung about us to the end, hope for the life together we should lead, out of it all, out of the battle and struggle, the wild and empty passions, the empty arbitrary âthou shaltâ and âthou shalt notâ of the world. We were uplifted, as though our quest was a holy thing, as though love for another was a mission . . . .
âEven when from our boat we saw the fair face of that great rock Capriâalready scarred and gashed by the gun emplacements and hiding-places that were to make it a fastnessâwe reckoned nothing of the imminent slaughter, though the fury of preparation hung about in the puffs and clouds of dust at a hundred points amidst the gray; but, indeed, I made a text of that and talked. There, you know, was the rock, still beautiful for all its scars, with its countless windows and arches and ways, tier upon tier, for a thousand feet, a vast carving of gray, broken by vine-clad terraces, and lemon and orange groves, and masses of agave and prickly pear, and puffs of almond blossom. And out under the archway that is built over the Piccola Marina other boats were coming; and as we came round the cape and within sight of the mainland, another little string of boats came into view, driving before the wind towards the south-west. In a little while a multitude had come out, the remoter just little specks of ultramarine in the shadow of the eastward cliff.
ââIt is love and reason,â I said, âfleeing from all this madness of war.â
âAnd though we presently saw a squadron of aeroplanes flying across the southern sky we did not heed it. There it wasâa line of little dots in the skyâand then more, dotting the south-eastern horizon, and then still more, until all that quarter of the sky was stippled with blue specks. Now they were all thin little strokes of blue, and now one and now a multitude would heel and catch the sun and become short flashes of light. They came, rising and falling and growing larger, like some huge flight of gulls or rooks or such-like birds, moving with a marvellous uniformity, and ever as they drew nearer they spread over a greater width of sky. The southward wind flung itself in an arrow-headed cloud athwart the sun. And then suddenly they swept round to the eastward and streamed eastward, growing smaller and smaller and clearer and clearer again until they vanished from the sky. And after that we noted to the northward and very high Eveshamâs fighting machines hanging high over Naples like an evening swarm of gnats.
âIt seemed to have no more to do with us than a flight of birds.
âEven the mutter of guns far away in the south-east seemed to us to signify nothing . . .
âEach day, each dream after that, we were still exalted, still seeking that refuge where we might live and love. Fatigue had come upon us, pain and many distresses. For though we were dusty and stained by our toilsome tramping, and half starved and with the horror of the dead men we had seen and the flight of the peasantsâfor very soon a gust of fighting swept up the peninsulaâwith these things haunting our minds it still resulted only in a deepening resolution to escape. Oh, but she was brave and patient! She who had never faced hardship and exposure had courage for herself and me. We went to and fro seeking an outlet, over a country all commandeered and ransacked by the gathering hosts of war. Always we went on foot. At first there were other fugitives, but we did not mingle with them. Some escaped northward, some were caught in the torrent of peasantry that swept along the main roads; many gave themselves into the hands of the soldiery and were sent northward. Many of the men were impressed. But we kept away from these things; we had brought no money to bribe a passage north, and I feared for my lady at the hands of these conscript crowds. We had landed at Salerno, and we had been turned back from Cava, and we had tried to cross towards Taranto by a pass over Mount Alburno, but we had been driven back for want of food, and so we had come down among the marshes by Paestum, where those great temples stand alone. I had some vague idea that by Paestum it might be possible to find a boat or something, and take once more to sea. And there it was the battle overtook us.
âA sort of soul-blindness had me. Plainly I could see that we were being hemmed in; that the great net of that giant Warfare had us in its toils. Many times we had seen the levies that had come down from the north going to and fro, and had come upon them in the distance amidst the mountains making ways for the ammunition and preparing the mounting of the guns. Once we fancied they had fired at us, taking us for spiesâat any rate a shot had gone shuddering over us. Several times we had hidden in woods from hovering aeroplanes.
âBut all these things do not matter now, these nights of flight and pain . . . We were in an open place near those great temples at Paestum, at
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