Adam Bede by George Eliot (ebook reader for pc .TXT) 📖

contented of late, and there was no selfish jealousy in him; he had never been jealous of his mother’s fondness for Adam. But had he seen anything of what their mother talked about? Adam longed to know this, for he thought he could trust Seth’s observation better than his mother’s. He must talk to Seth before he went to see Dinah, and, with this intention in his mind, he walked back to the cottage and said to his mother, “Did Seth say anything to thee about when he was coming home? Will he be back to dinner?”

“Aye, lad, he’ll be back for a wonder. He isna gone to Treddles’on. He’s gone somewhere else a-preachin’ and a-prayin’.”

“Hast any notion which way he’s gone?” said Adam.

“Nay, but he aften goes to th’ Common. Thee know’st more o’s goings nor I do.”

Adam wanted to go and meet Seth, but he must content himself with walking about the near fields and getting sight of him as soon as possible. That would not be for more than an hour to come, for Seth would scarcely be at home much before their dinner-time, which was twelve o’clock. But Adam could not sit down to his reading again, and he sauntered along by the brook and stood leaning against the stiles, with eager intense eyes, which looked as if they saw something very vividly; but it was not the brook or the willows, not the fields or the sky. Again and again his vision was interrupted by wonder at the strength of his own feeling, at the strength and sweetness of this new love—almost like the wonder a man feels at the added power he finds in himself for an art which he had laid aside for a space. How is it that the poets have said so many fine things about our first love, so few about our later love? Are their first poems their best? Or are not those the best which come from their fuller thought, their larger experience, their deeper-rooted affections? The boy’s flutelike voice has its own spring charm; but the man should yield a richer deeper music.

At last, there was Seth, visible at the farthest stile, and Adam hastened to meet him. Seth was surprised, and thought something unusual must have happened, but when Adam came up, his face said plainly enough that it was nothing alarming.

“Where hast been?” said Adam, when they were side by side.

“I’ve been to the Common,” said Seth. “Dinah’s been speaking the Word to a little company of hearers at Brimstone’s, as they call him. They’re folks as never go to church hardly—them on the Common—but they’ll go and hear Dinah a bit. She’s been speaking with power this forenoon from the words, ‘I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.’ And there was a little thing happened as was pretty to see. The women mostly bring their children with ’em, but to-day there was one stout curly headed fellow about three or four year old, that I never saw there before. He was as naughty as could be at the beginning while I was praying, and while we was singing, but when we all sat down and Dinah began to speak, th’ young un stood stock still all at once, and began to look at her with’s mouth open, and presently he ran away from’s mother and went to Dinah, and pulled at her, like a little dog, for her to take notice of him. So Dinah lifted him up and held th’ lad on her lap, while she went on speaking; and he was as good as could be till he went to sleep—and the mother cried to see him.”

“It’s a pity she shouldna be a mother herself,” said Adam, “so fond as the children are of her. Dost think she’s quite fixed against marrying, Seth? Dost think nothing ’ud turn her?”

There was something peculiar in his brother’s tone, which made Seth steal a glance at his face before he answered.

“It ’ud be wrong of me to say nothing ’ud turn her,” he answered. “But if thee mean’st it about myself, I’ve given up all thoughts as she can ever be my wife. She calls me her brother, and that’s enough.”

“But dost think she might ever get fond enough of anybody else to be willing to marry ’em?” said Adam rather shyly.

“Well,” said Seth, after some hesitation, “it’s crossed my mind sometimes o’ late as she might; but Dinah ’ud let no fondness for the creature draw her out o’ the path as she believed God had marked out for her. If she thought the leading was not from Him, she’s not one to be brought under the power of it. And she’s allays seemed clear about that—as her work was to minister t’ others, and make no home for herself i’ this world.”

“But suppose,” said Adam, earnestly, “suppose there was a man as ’ud let her do just the same and not interfere with her—she might do a good deal o’ what she does now, just as well when she was married as when she was single. Other women of her sort have married—that’s to say, not just like her, but women as preached and attended on the sick and needy. There’s Mrs. Fletcher as she talks of.”

A new light had broken in on Seth. He turned round, and laying his hand on Adam’s shoulder, said, “Why, wouldst like her to marry thee, brother?”

Adam looked doubtfully at Seth’s inquiring eyes and said, “Wouldst be hurt if she was to be fonder o’ me than o’ thee?”

“Nay,” said Seth warmly, “how canst think it? Have I felt thy trouble so little that I shouldna feel thy joy?”

There was silence a few moments as they walked on, and then Seth said, “I’d no notion as thee’dst ever think of her for a wife.”

“But is it o’ any use to think of her?” said Adam. “What dost say? Mother’s made me as I hardly know where I am, with what she’s been saying to me this forenoon. She says she’s sure Dinah feels for me more than common, and ’ud be willing t’ have me. But I’m afraid she speaks without book. I want to know if thee’st seen anything.”

“It’s a nice point to speak about,” said Seth, “and I’m afraid o’ being wrong; besides, we’ve no right t’ intermeddle with people’s feelings when they wouldn’t tell ’em themselves.”

Seth paused.

“But thee mightst ask her,” he said presently. “She took no offence at me for asking, and thee’st more right than I had, only thee’t not in the Society. But Dinah doesn’t hold wi’ them as are for keeping the Society so strict to themselves. She doesn’t mind about making folks enter the Society, so as they’re fit t’ enter the kingdom o’ God. Some o’ the brethren at Treddles’on are displeased with her for that.”

“Where will she be the rest o’ the day?” said Adam.

“She said she shouldn’t leave the farm again to-day,” said Seth, “because it’s her last Sabbath there, and she’s going t’ read out o’ the big Bible wi’ the children.”

Adam thought—but did not say—“Then I’ll go this afternoon; for if I go to church, my thoughts ’ull be with her all the while. They must sing th’ anthem without me to-day.”