Mario and the Koopa Conspiracy by Martin C. Featherworth (recommended ebook reader .TXT) 📖

trying to comfort himself. Mario could sing well, too, though he was awfully shy about it. He would never sing if he knew anyone was listening to him. Sometimes, though, he sang quietly, but it was mostly for self-comfort. Now, he hummed quietly, trying to forget the fact that he was only just recently contemplating murdering himself in a river flowing with acid. It only worked a tiny bit. Mario spoke to his companions.
“How did you guys get to World 5?” he queried with a false easiness. “Did you use one of those commercial warp zones?” Mario jumped onto a tree branch to avoid a tangle of thorny vines. The rest did the same.
“Uh, yeah,” Luigi said, balancing on the branch. “An Inter-World Transit.” Mario leapt down off the branch on the other side of the thorns. “We all love those, right Mario?” Peach and Yoshi jumped back down to the ground, leaving Luigi on the branch. The three waited for him. Luigi did a stylish backflip off the tree limb and landed with his arms outstretched. Yoshi clapped with an unimpressed look on his reptilian face. Mario shook his head and continued on.
“Oh, yeah. Inter-World Transit,” Mario said with a grumble. “Don’t ever want to use one if I don’t have to. They’re crowded, tedious, and pointless.”
“We know, Mario. You tell us all the time,” said Princess Peach. The four continued walking until they came upon a fallen log. Mario jumped over it, and the rest did also. “You can build pipes that are just as good without all the hassle,” she said in a mocking tone.
“Well, it’s true! I can!” Mario laughed. “And I can make them go exactly where I want them to go! With their commercial pipes, you go from one crowded security check to another. It’s not even necessary!”
“You do have a point, bro,” Luigi agreed. “There are some pretty weird people in there…”
“Oh come on guys. They’re not that bad,” said Yoshi.
“Yes, they are!” both brothers said in unison.
“Last time I checked, Yoshi, you don’t build travel pipes,” Mario said smugly.
“Yeah, but thanks to you, I know everything about them,” Yoshi said, exaggerating the word “everything.” “You guys are also from World Earth, so you don’t think of things the same way as people here.” The four of them came to a large boulder that gave way to an elevated stretch of land. Mario stopped to contemplate it. From the other way, it was almost level to the ground. Going back the other way, it was just a bit too high to jump onto. Mario took a quick inventory of his surroundings. There were no branches low enough to use. But…there was a block over near a group of three trees. Mario hurried over to it and snatched it out of the air. He rejoined his friends by the boulder and placed the block at his eye-level. Mario took a step back. He jumped onto the block and then onto the boulder. Everyone else did the same. Mario led the way again.
“Now why don’t I think of that more often?” Mario asked himself out loud. They were once again wordless as they all progressed. Mario began to hum another unidentifiable tune softly as he carried on through the jungle. However, it wasn’t long before he spoke again.
“So Princess,” he began. “Aren’t you just a bit unhappy with me?” he asked her.
“What? Why would I be unhappy with you?” she questioned back, confused.
“What Yoshi said about me. Aren’t you just a bit upset that I would think… That I’d think you…” Mario didn’t finish.
“I am concerned,” was all the princess said. Mario didn’t question her further. He resumed humming, though this time it was obvious that he was still deeply disturbed. Even though his tune was happy and upbeat. Mario added words to his song. The words were in Italian, but nobody was listening closely enough to hear them anyway. At least that’s what he thought. Mario’s voice grew gradually shakier, his sadness showing through more and more. Was is just him, or was the jungle becoming darker as well? No, indeed it was darker. Mario looked up. A cloudy gray sky peered through the tops of the tall trees. Great. Now the weather matched his emotions. What Mario didn’t know was of the great misfortune about to befall the four friends.
“It’s getting darker,” Yoshi noticed.
“Oh, so it’s not just me,” said Luigi.
“Guys, what’s that sound?” Peach asked.
“That’s my brother singing in Italian,” Luigi answered. Mario choked. He stopped singing. He also stopped breathing, not daring to make another noise.
“No, not that. Listen,” she said. Everyone hushed down. “It sounds like some kind of whirring.” Indeed it did. It grew louder and louder. Not one of them realized what it was until it was right there in their faces. The sound was right over them. They looked up. There in the sky was a flying pirate ship (called an airship) with propellers atop its masts. It flew a black flag. Mario felt as if he were going to burst.
“Bowser!” he screamed, shaking with burning rage. “What do you want?” he yelled again.
“The princess, Tubby-o,” a low growling voice said from behind. Mario whirled around. There he was, the scaly devil himself. Bowser, the giant spiky-shelled koopa king, here to kidnap the princess again. He flew in a white propeller-equipped cup-shaped vehicle with a clown face on the front, otherwise known as a clown car. Bowser and his minions used these often. Bowser pulled Princess Peach into the clown car at once and flew out of the way. Mario hurled himself at the clown car and grabbed onto the edge. Mario punched Bowser’s nose as hard as he could, but Bowser threw him back down before he could attack him any more. He flew away with the princess.
“So long, chumps!” Bowser roared. Mario felt something bump his foot. A black bomb with a wind-up key, feet, and line-shaped white eyes had run into it. It was a bob-omb, and it stood right in the center of the three of them. Before anyone could react, it detonated, leaving Yoshi, Mario, and Luigi out cold on the jungle floor.
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Mario’s head ached and his ears felt stuffy. A strong bitter taste filled his mouth and had penetrated up into his nasal area; this always happened after a 1-up mushroom had taken affect. Mario could not yet bring himself to open up his eyes. He heard muffled voices moving around…wherever he was. What had even happened? Why was Mario lying down with stuffed-up ears and a 1-up flavor in his mouth? Mario remembered: it had been a bob-omb. It had exploded on himself, Luigi, and Yoshi. But… wasn’t Princess Peach with them, too? Oh no! That’s the reason for the bob-omb! Bowser! Bowser had stolen away the princess while she was right there next to Mario. Right there.
I tried to stop him, Mario thought. I did try. But he took her… But if I wouldn’t have run off to try and… She wouldn’t have been there, and she wouldn’t have been captured. No, that’s no use now. You’ve got to go get her now. C’mon, try and wake up, Mario silently tried to convince himself. His eyes would not open, nor would any of his muscles even move a tiny bit. Great. Now he would just have to lie there until… Mario’s ears popped. He could hear normally again. The voices moving around him became clear enough to make out.
“He’s been out for a while. Do you think he’s…you know, alright?” said a voice that seemed to come from Mario’s right. Did Mario recognize the voice?
“He had at least one 1-up. He should be,” said what sounded like the voice of Yoshi. It came also from Mario’s right. Mario’s foot jerked uncontrollably.
“Hey man, I think he just moved!” said another voice. This one had come from somewhere in front of Mario.
“What? No he didn’t,” Luigi’s voice said from Mario’s left. Mario turned his head toward the voice. His eyes cracked open just enough to let a bit of light in.
“No man, he’s totally waking up. Look,” said the voice in front of Mario. He turned his head back so that it was lying flat on…whatever he was lying on. He opened his eyes a bit more, and they fell closed again.
“Hey buddy, can you hear me? Are you okay?” said the voice that had spoken first. Mario’s eyes opened all the way. He blinked in surprise. In addition to Yoshi and Luigi, a tall, green-shelled koopa and a black bob-omb stood over him. The two seemed familiar, but then again…
“Wha… Where am I?” Mario uttered, tasting the bitterness inside his mouth.
“You’re at our place, ole’ buddy,” said the koopa. Ole’ buddy? Where had Mario heard that before…
“Do I…know you? I know you,” Mario mumbled, hardly able to keep his eyes open.
“Yep. We’re your old pals! Remember us?” the bob-omb chimed in with. How did a bomb talk when it had no mouth?
“Well, you should at least remember me. We used to race. Remember? The Bob-omb Battlefield? Tiny-Huge Island?” the koopa inquired. Mario opened his eyes again and looked at the koopa with recognition. “I still don’t know how you could possibly beat me. I cheated, too!”
“Quick?” said Mario. The koopa nodded. Indeed he was Quick, Koopa the Quick. Mario had raced the koopa up a mountain once to obtain a power star from him. He had also done so on a strange growing and shrinking island. Mario had won both times, and Quick had never fully recovered from his damaged pride. Quick was supposed to be “the fastest feet of World 1,” but Mario knew all-too-well that he exaggerated. A lot. Being a fast runner was an important thing to a koopa, and he probably just liked to brag too much.
“I’m pretty sure the only reason he’s ‘Quick’ is because he cheats,” said the bob-omb. Quick glared at him.
“You’re his friend, Bob-omb,” said Mario. Yes, his name was just “Bob-omb.” He had been a war bomb, meant to blow up in battle, so he had never received a real name. Quick had picked up his explosive friend back on the Bob-omb Battlefield, where he had raced Mario for the first star. After Mario had defeated the kingly Big Bob-omb on another escapade there, the mountain had been without a leader. Quick’s friend had never liked the king and the war anyway. He just wasn’t that type of bomb. He preferred doing fun things with friends to being ammunition in a war. Who wouldn’t?
Mario then recalled a thing of great importance.
“Peach… Bowser…” he blurted. Mario sat up. He got to see where he was. He had been lying on a soft blanket on the floor of a small and whimsical-looking home. There was a kitchen to his right and a couch to his left. Portraits of koopas hung on the walls, and there was a window behind him. The front door lie ahead of him. What was he just thinking about? Oh yes! “Bowser kidnapped Peach again! We’ve got to save her!” Mario exclaimed. “I’ve got to go now!” Mario began to make an attempt at standing up. Yoshi grabbed hold of his arm, making him sit back down.
“Hold on, Mario! Just wait a second!” Yoshi countered. “You don’t need to go on another trek across the continent. We know exactly where she is.”
“You know? How do you know where she is?” asked Mario, confused.
“We’ve got some allies. They told us for a fair amount of coins,” said Quick.
“She’s in the World 4 stronghold, Mario,” said Luigi.
“World 4?” Mario repeated. “The beach World. Huh. I was just at a beach. Are…we still in World